The James Bond Bedside Companion

by Benson, Raymond

  Feldman sat on the property a long time, too. He became interested again when the Eon Productions James Bond series became a phenomenon. At first, Feldman considered making a serious Bond film; but he wanted Sean Connery to play the role. The only solution was to approach Broccoli and Saltzman with a deal. After considering the offer, the producers refused. Feldman then decided to make a different kind of James Bond film. He made a Bond spoof.

  What might have begun as a great idea ends up a total mess. The film, Casino Royale, is a confused mixture of styles, plots, characters, designs; all with little humor and not much Bond.

  The film had a budget of almost $8,000,000 (You Only Live Twice, released the same year, had a budget of roughly $6,000,000), which made it the most expensive "James Bond film" at the time. And although it made an enormous amount of money, it was not the box-office winner Charles K. Feldman had hoped it would be. Feldman had just had a commercial success with What's New, Pussycat?, and he patterned Casino Royale after that "mod comedy." Peter Sellers and Woody Allen, stars of the former film, were brought in to work on the project. More international stars were persuaded to join the cast at one time or another during the lengthy shooting period. Sometimes new scenes were written into the script simply because a new star had been signed.

  Three scriptwriters are credited with the screenplay: Wolf Mankowitz, John Law, and Michael Sayers. But several other writers worked on the script uncredited, including Ben Hecht, Terry Southern, Billy Wilder, and Woody Allen. With so many writers having a hand in the project, no wonder the film is such a jumble. In addition, there are five directors credited: John Huston, Ken Hughes, Val Guest, Robert Parrish, and Joe McGrath, and thus, as many styles in the film. It is obvious that producer Charles K. Feldman didn't know what he wanted.

  This doesn't mean that Casino Royale isn't funny. Some of it is, primarily the scenes with Woody Allen. Peter Sellers also contributes some good comedic bits. But most of the jokes in the film fall flat and are simply too bizarre. For instance, when Sir James, Mata Bond, James "Cooper" Bond, and Miss Moneypenny are searching for the exit of FANG headquarters, they run into Frankenstein's monster. "Do you know the way out?" they ask him. The monster points, and they thank him and run off. Where did that come from?

  There are, surprisingly, a few references to the Ian Fleming novel. There is a scene in which Evelyn "James Bond" Tremble (Sellers) plays a game of baccarat with Orson Welles' Le Chiffre. Le Chiffre wears dark glasses which reveal the faces of the cards. This invisible ink device was used by the Roumanian team at the casino in Monte Carlo, where James Bond's first assignment with the Service took place. He discovered the Roumanians' method of cheating, and proceeded to beat them at their game. Later in the film, Tremble is kidnapped by Le Chiffre and strapped into a chair with a hole in the seat. This is precisely what happens to Bond in the novel, except that Peter Sellers is clothed. There is even a carpet beater hanging behind the chair. But the prop isn't used, for Le Chiffre proceeds to torture Bond with hypnosis—"torture of the mind," he calls it. And finally, Le Chiffre is liquidated by SMERSH, as in the novel. But here the assassin speaks to Le Chiffre from a TV screen, warning him that SMERSH is unhappy. Then, as if he were inside the TV set, the assassin breaks through the screen and shoots Le Chiffre. This is one of the funnier jokes in the film. The remainder of the picture has nothing to do with the novel.

  Even the characters are confused. Sir James Bond, the "real" James Bond, is played by David Niven, which is intelligent casting. But a "Sir" James Bond is a contradiction in terms. At the end of the novel THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN, James Bond refuses a knighthood on the grounds that he cannot stomach the social responsibilities such an honor prescribes.

  Sir James lives in a huge country mansion with lions and other wild animals on the grounds. He seems to have acquired a bit more culture in his old age—he now adores Debussy and plays the piano daily. (The Fleming James Bond would never be able to play piano.)

  When M is killed by a bomb blast at Sir James' home, Bond decides to emerge from retirement and replace his old chief. M, we learn, had a wife and many, many daughters, all of whom try to seduce Bond. Sir James teams up with Miss Moneypenny's daughter, also called Miss Moneypenny (portrayed by Barbara Bouchet), and proceeds to create several new "James Bond 007" agents to confuse the enemy (and the audience). He enlists the help of that beautiful spy, Vesper Lynd (name sound familiar?—well, the character isn't!), played by Ursula Andress. The casting of Miss Andress, in itself, is a joke, since she was the first Bond-girl of the official series. Sir James dubs Vesper "Agent 007" and begins to look for additional potential James Bonds. Peter Sellers, as a card shark named Evelyn Tremble, is recruited by Vesper and renamed James Bond. An agent known as "Cooper," (played by Terence Cooper), is personally picked by Miss Moneypenny (through a selection process solely involving kissing). He, in turn, recruits the new "secret weapon": a beautiful female agent known as the Detainer. Also renamed "007," the Detainer is played by Daliah Lavi. Sir James' daughter (?), Mata Bond, was the result of his love affair with the famous spy, Mata Hari (??). She is persuaded to join the force as well (Joanna Pettet gives a fine performance in this role). The seventh and final James Bond in the film is the villain, Dr. Noah, who is revealed to be none other than little "Jimmy" Bond (Sir James' nephew). Jimmy Bond is played by Woody Allen, who steals the movie. (This was Allen's second film as an actor.) Jimmy Bond's evil scheme is to unleash a virus that will make all the women in the world beautiful and all the men shorter than he.

  John Huston is a bizarre choice for a peculiar M who wears a toupee; Orson Welles makes an interesting but somehow ridiculous Le Chiffre; and there are cameos and guest appearances by Deborah Kerr, William Holden, Charles Boyer, George Raft, Jean-Paul Belmondo, Gabriella Licudi, Tracy Reed, Kurt Kasznar, and even a young Jacqueline Bisset (as Miss Goodthighs).

  The episodic plot is impossible to follow. Although it actually bears some resemblance to the "bumps" formula of the Broccoli and Saltzman camp, the set-pieces lack any kind of unity. While watching the film, one gets the feeling the reels are out of sequence.

  There are some obvious jabs at the United Artists series, such as the takeoff on Q Branch, where midgets are used as security guards. The final climactic scene is a classic battle sequence right out of the official Bonds, only it's quite absurd. It takes place at Casino Royale, but it involves not only all of the James Bonds in the film, but SMERSH, FANG, the CIA, the Foreign Legion, the United States Cavalry, a tribe of Wild West Indian paratroopers, and a few circus animals. (The ironic thing is that it isn't too far from what the official Bond films almost became in the seventies.)

  There is some noteworthy work in the film, especially Nicolas Roeg's cinematography (this was before he had gone on to become a director), and Burt Bacharach's lively, catchy score. Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass performed the title song, which became a hit single and popular favorite. A later nightclub standard, "The Look of Love," was also written for the film and was performed by Dusty Springfield during one of the picture's more stylish sequences. Vesper Lynd 007 has invited Evelyn Tremble 007 to her home and proceeds to seduce him. The slow motion, the white-and-pink design motif, and the music blend to create an elegant, romantic mood.

  One thing Casino Royale reveals is how Bond-crazy the world was in 1966-67. Only the thought of the record-breaking houses for the other Bond films could have convinced Charles K. Feldman to create such a cinematic monstrosity. The entire film has the appearance of a wild party celebrating the James Bond cult; the trouble is we don't know any of these people and we are uncomfortable being there. The film should not be considered part of the James Bond series.

  NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN (1983)

  Never Say Never Again, released in the fall of 1983, on the other hand, is very much a James Bond film, even though a rival production company, Taliafilm, is responsible for the picture. Producer Jack Schwartzman made it possible when he purchased a license to make one James Bond b
ased on "The Film Scripts" and the THUNDERBALL film rights originally assigned to Kevin McClory from Paradise Film Productions III of Nassau, Bahamas. Schwartzman, with experience as a Hollywood lawyer, successfully overcame the tremendous legal obstacles plaguing the production of the film. After obtaining foreign distribution rights, Schwartzman received backing from Warner Brothers.

  The producers promised a different sort of Bond film from the Eon series; hopefully, the new film would concentrate more on character development and would be played straight. The film's obvious draw was the return of Sean Connery to the role of agent 007. Connery took a big risk with the film. No matter how it was received, it would be looked at by the public and critics as "Sean Connery's New Bond Film"—its success rested on his shoulders. Therefore, Connery had, much say in the production and approved the script as well as each shot. He reportedly worked very closely with director Irvin Kershner.

  Shooting began in October 1982 in the south of France and continued in the Bahamas. The film was in the can by the spring of 1983 and a few pickup shots were filmed during the summer. Apogee Inc. in Los Angeles was responsible for the optical and visual effects.

  Naturally, there were many things which the producers could not include in the film for legal reasons. There was no opening gun-barrel logo (the trademark is owned by United Artists/Eon), and no "James Bond Theme" music. Although perhaps a bit confusing to the uninformed viewer expecting a traditional Bond film, this had no detrimental effect at all on the picture.

  The screenplay by Lorenzo Semple, Jr., based on the original story by Kevin McClory, Jack Whittingham, and Ian Fleming, incorporates the basic Thunderball plot with many deviations. (Reportedly, Sean Connery and Irvin Kershner had a hand in the script as well.) Most of the characters in the story are the same with slight variations in their names (for example, Largo is Maximillian Largo rather than Emilio Largo). Two atomic bombs are abducted by SPECTRE and are used to hold the world at ransom, but the methods employed by SPECTRE to steal the bombs are quite different Here, Domino's brother, now named Jack Petachi, has been brainwashed by SPECTRE and has undergone surgery on his right eye. An exact replica of the retina of the right eye belonging to the President of the United States has been implanted in Petachi's head. This will allow Petachi to override a security code protecting the device which arms atomic weapons on NATO bases—supposedly, only the president should be able to look into a telescope-like contraption which makes a positive identification clearance. Once Petachi has broken the security, he arms the two atomic missiles and programs them to veer off course from a test flight so that they will land in the Bahamas. There is no Vulcan aircraft, and all the sabotaging is done on the base in England.

  Sean Connery with co-star Kim Basinger (as Domino) on the set of Never Say Never Again. (Wide World Photo.)

  This entire sequence is a little confusing and quite fanciful; but it's really the only disconcerting section of the film. The visual effects here are also not quite up to snuff; the missiles are obviously superimposed over the sky background.

  Semple has also made some changes in Bond's world. The British Secret Service is now headed by a new and younger M who disagrees with his predecessor's belief that the Double-0 Section was valuable; he doesn't trust these specialized agents. At the beginning of the film, Bond fails a war-games test and is subsequently sent to Shrublands Health Spa to "clean out." Bond at this point is in his fifties (Connery's age) and is on the reserves list for the Service. Agent 007 is only called to the case after M has no other choice. Even the Armourer, now named Algernon, complains that since the abolishment of the Double-0 Section, there is never any real excitement in Q Branch. Once Bond is back on the job, Algernon tells him, "It's good to have you back. Now I hope we'll at least have some gratuitous sex and violence for a change."

  Once Bond arrives in Nassau, there are many deviations from the Thunderball plot concerning 007's investigation of Largo and his mistress, Domino. Bond meets Domino later in France by sneaking into an elegant health club and pretends to be her masseuse in a very amusing scene. There is no scene in which Bond sucks the poison from Domino's foot after she steps on a sea urchin spine. Instead, Bond gains Domino's trust on a dance floor in a casino as the couple execute a marvelous tango. It is during the dance that Bond informs Domino that Largo killed her brother.

  The femme fatale of the story is Fatima Blush, and the first half of the film deals with Fatima's attempts to do away with Bond. All of these sequences are cleverly written and well-executed, but most of the credit goes to the performances of Connery and Barbara Carrera. The encounters with Fatima are quite different from Bond's dalliances with Fiona Volpe, the villainess from Thunderball, aside from the obligatory seduction of the agent for Fatima's own selfish pleasure. There is a terrific scene in which Fatima has cornered Bond at last. She aims a gun at him and orders him to spread his legs. "Before you die," she says, "you must say that making love to Fatima was the greatest sensual pleasure of your life." Bond hesitates, then says sardonically, "Well, there was this girl in Philadelphia . . ."

  The latter part of the film differs from Thunderball as well. SPECTRE does not plan to obliterate Miami with Bomb no. 1; instead, they have somehow planted the bomb under the White House in Washington (how they did this is never explained), and the second bomb will be used in the Middle East to destroy oil fields. Therefore, the locale changes for the climax of the film to North Africa. Finally, there is no underwater battle between SPECTRE and NATO paratroopers; instead, Bond and Leiter lead a group of men into SPECTRE's hidden cave for a land attack. Only Bond chases Largo into the water for the final showdown. The battle is just between the two of them until Domino appears in the nick of time to put a harpoon through her ex-lover and tormentor.

  Irvin Kershner's direction brings an extremely fast-paced, energetic tempo to the film. This was Kershner' s first film since The Empire Strikes Back; it is not surprising that some of the same style and flavor of that film would appear in the new one. The fast pace moves the picture along in such a way that the holes in the plot are not bothersome; things happen so quickly that the audience barely has time to catch its breath before a new action sequence unfolds. There is quite a lot of stuntwork and many action sequences, and they are all exciting and well done. There is nothing that is too unbelievable or fantastic, and Kershner deserves the credit for keeping the picture within a realistic framework.

  The strongest aspect of the picture is the casting and the performances. Never Say Never Again contains the best ensemble of actors since, perhaps, From Russia With Love. It is Sean Connery, of course, who holds the picture together with one of his finest performances as 007. Basically he plays the character as he has always portrayed Bond. In a recent interview, Connery stated that he always approached the Bond role "through the serious door" and exits "through the humorous door." Connery's Bond, although still equipped with witty one-liners, was and still is a fleshand-blood human being. Despite playing the part at his own age (and with a hairpiece), Connery looks fitter than he did twelve years earlier in Diamonds Are Forever! He brings a lot of energy to the role this time, and appears as if he enjoyed every minute of making the film.

  Sean Connery returns to the role of James Bond in the rival film Never Say Never Again, twenty years after he first appeared as 007. (Wide World Photo.)

  Klaus Maria Brandauer, the actor who was so good in Mephisto, is excellent as Largo. He brings a dynamic personification of a Fleming villain to the role. Playing the part as if Largo was indeed a bit mad, Brandauer uses his smile and shining eyes to reveal the villain's deranged mind. At one point, Domino asks Largo what he would do if she ever left him. Largo smiles slightly, then quickly changes his expression to that of a demon and says, "I would slit your throat" He then smiles again broadly and maniacally—we know that this time the villain means business.

  The show-stealer, however, is Barbara Carrera as Fatima Blush. Carrera brings to her role an energy and forcefulness hitherto unseen in
any other similar character. The actress has incorporated dancelike movements in her walk and gives the villainess a classy manner which transcends the usual wanton antics of most femme fatales. The character she portrays is tough, intelligent, and resourceful, and Carrera pulls it off beautifully.

  Swedish actor Max von Sydow portrays Ernst Stavro Blofeld in a couple of cameo appearances. This bit of casting is more successful than the choices made for the three Eon films in which Blofeld appears. Yet somehow, von Sydow is a bit too mannered and charming for Blofeld. One strange trait was held over from the Eon series—Blofeld is still petting that white cat.

  The extremely lovely Kim Basinger portrays Domino. Although she doesn't seem Italian, she fits Fleming's description of the character from the original THUNDERBALL story—blond, beautiful, classy, and athletic. Basinger brings a vulnerability to the role which is immediately appealing, and the actress turns in a performance which is quite satisfactory. Bernie Casey, an American black actor, portrays Felix Leiter. Casey told Starlog magazine that it was Connery's idea to use a black Leiter simply because the character is never remembered—perhaps this change would make the American CIA agent more noticeable. The change in race alters nothing in the context of the story, but unfortunately, the part is underwritten. The Leiter role is still relatively thankless, and the character only serves as Bond's yes-man in the latter part of the film. Casey, however, at least has a screen presence which is interesting and engaging.

  Edward Fox portrays the young M in stereotypical stuffy British upper-class tradition. Fox's M is a bit too hard on Bond, and their scenes together bear no resemblance to the Bond/M relationship set up by Fleming. This is one disappointing aspect of the film. Alec McCowan, on the other hand, is fine as Algernon the Armourer, and brings a good degree of humor to the role. Miss Moneypenny is portrayed by the attractive Pamela Salem, but her role is very minor. There isn't enough rapport between Moneypenny and 007 to adequately depict the years of mutual flirtation that has passed between the two characters.