“And I don’t need any credentials to call ‘em like I seem ‘em. I have eyes, and that’s enough,” Mia laughs.
I roll my eyes. “I mean, yeah, he’s great. What’s not to like?”
“So you like him?” Stacy asks excitedly as Mia leans in on her elbows.
“I like all of the guys here. They are a little rough around the edges, but I can tell they are good guys. Genuine, sweet even, if you really get to know them.”
“Mmmhmmm. I didn’t ask about everyone. I asked about Carter.”
“Look, I’m not interested in a relationship right now, maybe ever. I’m just not meant for that sort of stuff.”
“What sort of stuff? Love? Support? Someone to depend on? Someone to wake up to every morning?” Mia asks.
“Yes. All of that. I’m not meant for any of that.”
“Oh, honey, you know that’s not true. We need other people, that’s just a fact.” Says Stacy.
I shrug, hoping they will change the subject.
No such luck.
“So, tell me about him,” Stacy says.
“Tell you about who?”
“The asshole who broke your heart and gave you that giant chip on your shoulder.”
I freeze.
“Oh, c’mon. We can swap war stories. Before I met River, I had a few terrible relationships.”
I sigh but don’t offer any information. Stacy is not so easily deterred.
“How old were you when you met him?” Mia now getting in on the game.
“Eighteen.”
“And remind me again how old you are now? I kinda dropped the ball on asking if you were even legal,” Stacy giggles.
“Yeah, I remember that conversation going something like, ‘Are you sure you want to hire me even if you don’t know if I’m old enough to serve?’ And you said, ‘If you can handle that asshole banker, you’re old enough to sling beers.’” I laugh and Stacy joins me, followed by Mia. “For the record, though, I’m 21.”
Stacy nods, waiting for me to continue. I don’t.
“Girly, I’m getting this story out of you one way or another. But I don’t mind playing twenty questions if that’s what it takes.”
“Don’t test momma bear,” Mia chimes in. “She’ll wear you down.”
I roll my eyes.
“Have it your way then,” Stacy smiles. “How did you meet?”
I don’t say anything for a minute. I’m trying to decide how much of myself I want to reveal. I like Stacy and Mia. I’ve never really had friends before, and I know they care, but I can’t let people in. I don’t want their pity, I don’t want their judgement. The first rule I learned was show no fear. The second one was not to depend on anyone.
“I knew him from before I went into foster care. He kept tabs on me and found me once I aged out. He was older, I thought maybe he would take care of me.” I pause, trying to gather my thoughts. Part of me wants to tell her everything. All of the ways he hurt me, violated me, degraded me, beat me down, and trapped me. But I can’t. I can’t go there. Not ever.
Finally, I push through the fog and find my voice. “He wasn’t a good guy. It took me far too long to realize it. He… he broke me, I’m no good. But I’m moving on, ya know? I’m starting over and I just don’t want anything to get in the way of that.”
“What do you mean, he broke you?” Mia asks.
I look away and shrug.
Stacy puts her hand on my shoulder and turns me towards her.
“Liv, honey. It’s ok. You need to talk about this.”
She’s too intense, too sincere. I can’t look at her anymore. I feel hot tears stinging my eyes.
“Did he… did he lay his hands on you?” Stacy asks.
I shrug, not sure what to say. It was so much more than that. I snap out of it and can literally feel myself shut down emotionally. It’s too much so I force myself to not feel any of it. I do what I do best. Push people away.
“Look, I know you guys mean well, but I don’t talk about this shit. It’s mine to deal with, my mess. I’m not looking for a shoulder to cry on.” I turn to Stacy, “You gave me a job and I’m grateful for that. I don’t want anything else from you.”
I hate myself for doing this. It’s like I can’t control it, someone gets too close and I have to lash out. I wouldn’t blame her if she fired me. I deserve it.
God, why am I such a bitch?
Stacy opens her mouth to say something, but Slash walks in and sits down at the bar. I tense up. I don’t mean to, and I know he notices it. Slash really is nice. He has a reputation for slutting it up, but he’s never been a creeper about it or hit on me. From what I can tell, the club girls throw themselves at him, so who am I to judge a man just reaping the benefits of the MC?
That first night at the bar when he leaned into me, I swear it wasn’t Slash… it was Spider, said ex from the story above. He has the same intense blue eyes and angular jaw. Slash’s eyes flickered in the light and for a second, I felt like his prey. Spider’s prey. Slash felt it though and backed off immediately. He’s kept his distance ever since and I feel bad, but I can’t help my body’s reaction.
“Hey, Slash, can I get you a beer?” I ask, grateful to draw my attention elsewhere, especially away from the hurt look on Mia’s face.
“I got it, hon, my baby brother and I need to chat,” Stacy says.
Slash rolls his eyes. “You know I love it when you refer to me as your baby brother.”
Stacy just smiles and hands him a beer. “Go on, I’ll be over in a sec.”
Slash walks over to one of the corner booths and Stacy turns to me.
Here we go.
Only instead of looking pissed, she looks… understanding.
“Thank you for telling me, Liv. I’m so sorry you had to go through any of that, but you’re here now. You’re a fighter. It’s ok to let people be there for you, you don’t have to do it all on your own, ok?”
She gives me a hug and to my surprise, I hug her back. I melt into her embrace. What the fuck? Mia joins and I almost lose it. Both women pull away I see Stacy wiping tears from her eyes.
“Well, now look what you went and made me do! I never cry!”
“What I made you do?!”
Stacy laughs and Mia flits away, off to do whatever sweet little Mia does.
Carter walks in, looking sexy as always, and eyes Stacy.
“Everything ok, momma bear?”
“Oh I’m fine. I have to go talk to Slash,” she nods over to the booth.
“Yeah, that’d make me cry too,” Carter laughs.
“Hey, I heard that!” Slash yells from the corner.
Stacy walks across the bar, leaving me with Mr. Tall-tattooed-and-sexy.
He smiles at me, leaning against the bar. I’m sure I still have remnants of my own unshed tears in the back of my eyes.
“Are you ok, love?”
I roll my eyes at him but can’t stop the smile spreading over my face. It’s kind of crazy that I can still smile after talking about Spider. I think only Stacy, Mia, and Carter could do that.
“Call me ‘love’ one more time, and I’ll make sure you’re not ok.” I say as I reach for a shot glass and a bottle of Bulleit Rye.
“You’re so sexy when you threaten me,” he smirks.
“Yeah, keep talking. I’ll strike when you least expect it.”
I set his whiskey down in front of him and he downs the whole thing before smacking the glass back on the counter. He leans in, inches away from my face.
“Believe me, love, I never expected you.” He winks at me and walks back towards Stacy and Slash.
How the hell does he do that? It’s not the first time he’s thrown my words back at me, but when he says them, they sound so… hot.
Fuck.
***
A few hours later, I’m in the back room restocking the shelves. It’s supposed to be a big weekend, lots of out-of-towners are expected to crash the place because of some boxing match being held in the nex
t town over. Apparently, all the hotels have been booked there for months so we’re getting the overflow.
I’m on a ladder putting away the last of the bourbon when my ankle decides to give out on me. I start to go down, but right before I hit the ground, I feel strong arms around me, gently setting me on the floor. I’d know that smell anywhere – pine and whiskey and something uniquely… Carter.
Even though I’m securely on the ground, he doesn’t let go. My back is to his front and I’m pressed up against the shelves.
I feel Carter’s hot breath on my neck, his lips grazing over the shell of my ear.
“You could have asked for help, love.”
“I think we both know I would never do that, Carter.”
He chuckles and I feel the vibrations from his chest course through my body, landing a devastating blow to my clit.
“I think I proved myself pretty helpful the other night.” One of his hands roams under the hem of my shirt ghosting up my rib cage, while his other hand moves to my hip, pressing me closer against him. “I walked you to the bus,” he kisses the side of my neck where it meets my shoulder. “I gave you my jacket,” he moves his lips further up my neck and nibbles. “I made you cum,” he sucks my earlobe into his mouth and moves the hand on my hip to grab my pussy, applying just the right amount of pressure.
I moan and press my body further into him. I can feel his erection throbbing against my ass.
“I can’t stop thinking about that night at the bus stop,” he says.
He continues his exploration of my body, the hand under my shirt moving up to my breast, pulling down the cup of my bra and pinching my nipple. The other hand massaging my pussy through my jeans.
I reach back and spear my fingers through his hair, drawing him closer as he sinks his teeth into the skin on my shoulder.
“Fuuuuuck, Carter. Me neither. I… I want you.”
What am I saying? What am I doing?
Nothing is supposed to happen between us. It can’t.
Carter growls, thrusting his hard cock against my ass as I rub up and down, grinding into him.
His hands go to the button on my jeans and before I can even think, his hand is down my pants, slipping into my panties and finding my clit.
“You’re so fucking wet for me.”
I just nod. He presses one hand over my tummy, keeping me flush against him as his skillful fingers rub circles around my tight ball of nerves.
I move my hands to the shelf in front of me and turn to look at him over my shoulder.
“I need to feel you in me, Carter. Fill me up. Please.”
“Goddamnit, Liv. Are you sure?”
“Fuck me, Carter. Do it now.”
“Shit. I don’t have a condom.”
“I’m on the pill. I’m clean. Please, please, Carter…” I’m fucking begging him, I’m so needy.
“I’m clean too. I’ve never not used a condom, baby, but I can’t wait to feel every fucking inch of you, memorize you from the inside out.”
“God, yes, do that to me, Carter, fuuuuuuck”
He growls again and works my panties and jeans down my legs and then scrambles to undo his jeans and free his cock. He strokes it a few times and then rubs it in between my ass cheeks and over my slit. He doesn’t penetrate me, just slides his massive length against my wetness.
He thrusts a few times, getting my juices all over his cock. My pussy lips pulse around him, I’m already so on edge.
“Fuck, baby girl. Your pussy wants me so bad. You want this inside of you? Stretching you tight?”
“Yes, fuck yes…” I moan.
He pulls back and lines up his cock to my entrance. Then he’s inside me with one hard thrust.
“Fuck!” Carter cries out. “You’re so goddamn tight, feels so good.”
“Harder, please.”
He thrusts in and out of me, setting a punishing pace. I grip the shelf in front of me tighter, the bottles clinking together with the force of our movements.
I push back into him, giving as good as I’m getting. And fuck, is it good. I’m so full of his glorious cock, hitting me in all the right places. I stifle a moan when I feel his fingers circling my clit again, working me up in a frenzy.
I feel my muscles tightening, the tension building with each thrust. He feels it too.
“You feel so fucking incredible, Liv. I feel you close to the edge.”
He picks up his tempo and continues to rub my clit at a furious speed, kissing and biting my neck.
Each thrust pulls a soft moan from my lips.
“I want to feel you cum on my big cock, baby. Want to feel you pulse and milk the cum from my balls. Cum for me, Liv.”
He pinches my clit and I fucking detonate.
I can’t feel anything but pleasure, I forget to breathe as every nerve ending sparks and pulses. When I gasp for air, a new wave of pleasure washes over me as oxygen flows through my veins again.
“Jesus fucking Christ, love. You’re gorgeous. Love watching you cum.”
He thrusts into me once, twice, three times, and then I feel his cock swelling up before ropes of sticky cum shoot inside of me, setting off another mini orgasm.
Carter holds me close to him as he finishes his release. We’re both shaking and throbbing with pleasure, ridding out the last of our orgasms together.
He bends down and places soft kisses down my neck and across my shoulder before resting his forehead in the crook of my neck.
“Holy shit, Liv. That was incredible.” He mumbles into my skin.
I smile. “Yeah…” I agree.
There are no words. Hands down, best sex I’ve ever had. I’ve never cum so hard, never felt so fucking good.
I look over my shoulder and Carter leans in to capture my lips in a kiss. It’s not heated or desperate… It’s slow. Sweet, even. It’s too much.
He pulls out of me and we both groan at the loss.
The spell is broken and I realize I just fucked Carter. The one thing I told myself I wouldn’t do.
How the fuck did this happen? Wasn’t I just telling Stacy that I don’t need complications? I don’t need relationships, I don’t need people, I don’t need love.
Woah, buddy. Getting a little ahead of yourself there.
This isn’t love. We just fucked. Just two, consenting adults, fulfilling each other’s needs.
I quickly get dressed and turn around as Carter is buttoning up his pants.
“Well… thanks. I needed that.” I say. “I better go clean up.”
And with that, I leave Carter staring after me as I practically run to the bathroom.
It’s just sex. It’s just sex. It’s just sex.
If I say it enough, maybe I’ll convince myself it’s true.
Chapter 4
Carter
I watch as Liv makes a mad dash to the bathroom.
What the fuck was that?
It was so much more than sex. I swear I fucking saw God when I came inside of her sweet pussy.
Shit.
Standing here, I’m feeling something strange… emptiness? Loneliness? I want her back here. I wish we had a bed. I want to hold her in my arms, which is not like me at all.
What is she doing to me?
What’s worse, is that she doesn’t seem to want that. She wanted a fuck and then she left. I mean, I get it. That’s my preferred style as well, but damn if it doesn’t sting a little to be used like that. Karma really is a bitch.
This will not be the last time I have Liv. I’ll need to figure out a way to get her into my bed and maybe even stay the night.
***
I freshen up in the bathroom and walk back out towards Slash. I look over at Liv, she’s wiping down the bar, hiding a slight smile as she tilts her head down.
Oh yeah. She fucking felt it too. This isn’t over.
“Where have you been?” Slash asks. “Doing the dirty?”
“What? Why would you say that?”
“Dude. You have a shit eating g
rin on your face. One that almost matches Liv’s.”
I shake my head but can’t seem to wipe the smile off of my face.
“Damn, Carter. You gotta be careful.”
“Oh you’re one to talk,” I throw back at him, a little annoyed that he’s ruining my mood.
“Hey, I love ‘em and leave ‘em, but I do it to the club girls or random pussy. Liv is family, and you know it. If this ends poorly, you still have the club, but she’ll probably quit, and I get the feeling she doesn’t have anyone or anywhere else to go.”
I nod. I know he’s right. “Yeah, I get it. The thing is, I don’t want it to be temporary.” I don’t know why I decided to tell Slash that piece of information. Call it a post-life-altering-orgasm slip up.
“No shit, man? You really like her?”
“Well, yeah. I mean she’s… I don’t know. She’s incredible.”
Slash just grins and shakes his head. “I’m happy for you, Carter. Don’t fuck it up.”
I chuckle and stroke my beard.
“So,” I say, changing the subject, “Tell me about what has you and Stace so worried. I heard you guys talking earlier. Everything ok?”
Slash’s entire demeanor changes.
“It’s our brother.”
“Oh, shit.”
Stacy and Slash’s brother, Brad, is a monster. He’s a few years older than Stacy, around 40 years old. Slash is quite a bit younger than the two of them at 30. Their parents died in a car crash and Brad was left in charge. I don’t know the whole story, but he would beat them for pretty much any reason. He was high all the time and got into some shady shit to pay the bills. As soon as Stacy turned 18 she took Slash and ran away.
“Yeah. Seems as though he’s graduated from low-level dealing and shit to being involved with a gang. He’s got some stupid street name now.”
“Is it worse than Slash?” I grin, trying to lighten the mood.
“Hey, fuck you man,” he laughs. “At least I have a road name!” Slash takes a swig of beer and continues. “He’s in deep, rising up in the ranks every couple of months. I have a feeling he’s more than just a dealer though.”
“What do you mean?”
“Some of his old friends that we’re still in contact with seem to think he’s like… an enforcer. He goes around and kills off threats.”
Loving Liv (Chaos MC #2) Page 3
