“Damn. So there’s no way they’ll let him out alive.”
“More than that, he doesn’t want out. He wants more. More power, more money. It makes me sick to think about the shit he’s doing. He’s at the point now where he has to make a big move. Take over some territory, win a war, make some big time connections or something to prove his influence and loyalty.”
“I’m sorry, man. Did something happen? I mean I haven’t heard you guys talk about him in a long time. Where is he even at these days?”
“Well, that’s the thing. Last we heard, he was down in Atlanta. But he’s on the move. I… I thought I saw him drive by the club last week.”
“Fuck! Are you kidding me? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I didn’t know for sure, and I haven’t seen him since. I didn’t want to alarm anyone, start some shit drama we don’t need. I have no idea what he’d be doing up here anyway. It doesn’t make sense for him to look for Stacy and I after all these years.”
I nod, taking it all in. “I’m sure you’re tracking him, yeah?”
“Of course. He’s disappeared, which is weird. Up until a couple of weeks ago we could find some sort of activity of his if we dug deep enough, but now… nothing.”
“Do you think he died?”
“That’s the thing. I’ve been keeping tabs on all of that shit over in Atlanta. Not just the morgues, but the fixers, you know, the people who take care of the bodies in a discrete way. I’ve got some connections and, well, anyway. Nothing.”
“Well you know I have your back. Both you and Stacy. I think it’s worth bringing up to the club, more eyes out and all that.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. I just hate bringing anyone else into this shit.”
“We’re family. I know you would do the same for me, for any of us.”
He nods and drains his beer.
“Wanna go get me another beer?” Slash asks.
“What, are your legs broken?”
“Naw, I just thought you’d like a chance to see your girl,” Slash grins at me.
“Fine. Don’t mind if I do.”
I head over to the bar, admiring the view the whole time. Liv is just so fucking gorgeous. Curves in the right places, graceful movements, brilliant eyes.
I get up to the counter and she gives me a grin.
“Hey,” I say. Great opening line. I guess it’s better than what I want to say – You’re the best sex I’ve ever had and I want to take you home and fuck you on every surface available.
“Hey yourself,” she replies. “Another beer for dear old Slash?”
She cuts her eyes over to him but then looks away. I’ve noticed she gets a little stiff around him, more jumpy than usual.
“Yeah, that’d be great.”
She turns around to grab a bottle.
“Everything ok between you two?”
“Who, me and Slash?”
I nod.
“Of course. He’s a really nice guy.”
I sense some hesitation in her voice.
“But…?”
“What do you mean?
“Did he do something to you? Say something? He’s one of my best friends but I swear to god if he hurt you in any way, I’d-“
“No, no, he’s been a perfect gentleman. Well, I mean, as much of a gentleman as Slash can be.” She grins. “He just reminds me of someone. It’s not his fault. I feel bad, I know I’m weird around him.”
Who the fuck does he remind her of, and why would it make her skittish? Fuck. I want to kill whoever it is. I can tell she’s not going to give me any more info tonight though. It looks like she regrets even telling me that much.
“It’s not your fault, love. He’ll be fine.”
She leans in real close to me and I think she’s going to kiss me, but she stops two inches from my mouth.
“Just because I let you fuck me like a dirty whore in the back room doesn’t mean you can call me love. I’m still Liv, got it?”
She goes to pull away, but I reach out and wrap my hand around the back of her head, keeping her in place.
“You’re not a dirty whore, Liv. You’re a fucking goddess.”
“What if I want to be a dirty whore for you?”
Fuck.
Just like that, I’m ready to go again, my dick pressing against the zipper of my jeans.
She bites my bottom lip and it draws blood. I fucking love it.
I growl at the sensation and move forward to kiss her, but she slips away, grinning at me.
“Anything else I can help you with, Carter?”
“Oh, I have a list of things I’d like your help with. None of them are appropriate for the workplace though.”
She bites her bottom lip and a nice shade of pink covers her cheeks.
Just then, Stacy walks over to the bar and asks Liv about some delivery. I stand there for a minute before adjusting my swollen cock and heading back towards Slash.
Fuck, this woman. She got under my skin in the best way possible and I can’t wait to sink inside of her again.
Chapter 5
Carter
Two days later, I’m back at the club. It’s the weekend of the big fight and as expected, the bar is crowded as fuck. River wanted a few of us to hang out and make sure to keep the peace in case things get rowdy.
Liv is here, looking stunning as always. She’s in short jean shorts tonight and her standard white V-neck t-shirt, stretching across her perfect tits. She’s rocking another pair of tattered converse shoes, teal this time. Deep red lipstick lines her pouty lips and I envision them stretched around my cock.
Damnit. Get it together.
We haven’t talked about what we did in the back room since the day it happened. I don’t know what my next move is. Do I ask her on a date? I have a feeling she’d say no, even if she wants me. Do I follow her around and wait for another opportunity to fuck her senseless? That makes it seem like all I want is her body, and for the first time in my life, that’s not the case.
For now I guess I’m content to just watch her and wait for her to make a move.
It’s getting later in the evening, around midnight. Things have mostly been fine, there are a few guys getting rowdy, but not enough to warrant an intervention. There’s one guy sitting at the end of the bar who is getting pretty loaded and loud, engaged in a conversation with one of the guys he’s with. He’s a bigger guy, probably around six feet tall, with a beer belly. So far they are just eyeing some of the club girls and saying dirty things about them. It’s not great, but not worth kicking them out for. I’ll keep an eye on them in case they decide to get handsy.
Liv swings around the corner of the bar with a tray of drinks, sliding by beer belly and his pal. He’s staring at Liv’s ass and a wave of anger washes through me. He reaches out towards Liv and I’m out of my chair in half a second, storming my way over. He squeezes her ass and before I can do anything, Liv whips around, dropping the tray of drinks, and grabs his wrist, wrenching it behind his back. She slams his face down on the bar and holds him there with her elbow in the back of his neck.
“No one motherfucking touches me without my permission.” She spits out while twisting his arm even more. He’s struggling against her but he’s drunk and uncoordinated and she’s gripping him in such a way that he can’t escape.
I hate that this fucker touched her but seeing her manhandle him and put him in his place is a major fucking turn on.
“Get the fuck out of here, asshole,” She says as she shoves him off the stool and releases him so he stumbles.
I grab his arm with one hand and the back of his neck with the other. “You heard the lady. Get the fuck out of here before I kill you.” I squeeze his neck and he chokes a little.
I drag him outside and throw him on the ground. I watch him scramble to get up, before punching him square in the jaw, knocking him back down. I land a few kicks to his side and watch as he spits up blood. I want to do so much more to this sack of shit. But I have to
go in and check on Liv, my badass, feisty warrior.
Back in the bar, I look around for Liv. I don’t see her anywhere. I walk the perimeter of the bar, even go into the bathrooms. Nothing.
Then I hear a scream and I bolt towards the back room.
There, huddled in the corner, is Liv.
She’s alone and curled up into herself, staring straight ahead.
“No! No, please. I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” She half yells, have cries.
I rush over to her.
“Liv, what’s going on?”
She doesn’t even see me. Tears stream down her face and she’s shaking. All of the color is drained from her face and she keeps shaking her head back and forth. I know all too well what she’s going through.
I used to get flashbacks of the war when I first got home. They were so intense, so real. It fucking guts me to see her reliving whatever horror is in her mind.
I sit down in front of her, keeping a safe distance so she doesn’t feel crowded.
“Liv, baby, you’re ok. You’re in the Chaos clubhouse. You’re safe.”
I see her struggling to reconcile my voice with her current reality.
“Come back to me, sweetheart. You’re ok. You’re safe.”
She turns her head towards my voice, but she’s still stuck in the past.
“That’s it, Liv. Listen to me. You’re ok. It’s just me, Carter. You’re safe with me, love.”
She looks me right in the eyes and something in me breaks. I see the depths of her agony, fighting to come back.
“Breathe with me, baby. Take a deep breath.” I inhale for a count of four and she tries to do the same, her breaths ragged and catching In her throat. I exhale slowly for a count of four and she follows my lead.
“Good, you’re doing good, Liv. Let’s take another breath, ok?”
I take a few deep breaths and she does the same.
She blinks and I can tell she’s here with me.
“Carter?” She whispers.
“Yeah, baby, I’m here.”
“Fuck. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please leave,” she cries.
Not a fucking chance.
“I’m not going anywhere, Liv. You’re ok.”
“No! Please, I can’t… please, I don’t want you seeing me like this.”
“Liv, it’s ok. You’re ok. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!” She mumbles as she buries her head in her hands.
Then she shoots up off the floor, trying to make a run for it. Her legs are still shaky and I’m guessing she’s pretty light headed from hyperventilating earlier. I see her stumble and fall forward.
I stand up and catch her in my arms, pulling her close.
“Shh, Liv, you’re ok. I’ve got you. You’re ok.”
She tries to push back on me, but she doesn’t have much strength.
“I’ve got you, baby. You’re safe with me, you’re ok.” I keep whispering reassuring words into the top of her head, rubbing slow circles on her back.
She eventually melts in my arms and I scoop her up. She doesn’t fight me. Liv looks up at me, a mix of exhaustion and sorrow in her eyes.
I carry her outside and up to one of the apartments we keep in the back of the property. She buries her face into my chest and I tighten my grip on her.
Once we’re inside, I set her down, keeping one arm around her waist while I pull back the covers on the bed. I guide her to the edge and sit her down. Kneeling in front of her, I take her shoes off, followed by her socks. I gently lay her down in the bed, tucking her feet under the blanket before pulling it up and wrapping it around her.
I take off my boots and jacket and crawl into the bed behind her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close, her back to my front. She doesn’t fight me, in fact, she snuggles closer to me and grips the arm I have around her waist.
I nuzzle her neck, breathing in her scent.
“I’m right here, love. I’ve got you. You’re safe.”
I hold her close, willing my warmth, my strength to cover her.
Eventually, her breathing evens out and the last of the tension in her muscles relaxes. Only then do I allow myself to drift off to sleep.
Chapter 6
Liv
I wake up feeling groggy and confused. I’m staring at a clock I don’t recognize that says 7:12. I feel warmth radiating behind me and twist my head to see Carter passed out with his arms around me and a leg thrown over my thighs. He couldn’t be more wrapped up in me if he tried.
For a brief second, I wonder if I got drunk and slept with him again, but I realize we’re both still fully clothed.
And then it comes back to me.
The man who grabbed my ass, me threatening him, then going into the back room to get my shit together. Only when I got into the back room, I swear to god I saw Spider. The beer belly guy triggered something. The feelings of helplessness broke through the walls I tried so hard to keep around my heart. I was an object, a play thing. Somehow it conjured up the demon from my past.
The stale beer smell was overwhelming and just like that, I was 18, cowering in the basement as I awaited his punishment.
But then Carter broke through my fear. I heard his voice before I saw him. He was so calm, so reassuring. When I finally came back to reality he just sat there and told me to breathe. I was so humiliated. I hate being weak, I hate that my mind throws me back into the nightmare without my permission. I hate that he saw that part of me.
I tried escaping but my body betrayed me once again and I fell forward, into Carter’s warm embrace. I tried fighting him but my heart wasn’t in it. Some part of me wants the fantasy that he could take care of me, want me, all of me, and accept me for who I am, scars and all. I let that weak part of me take over last night. That’s why I let him tuck me in and cuddle up against me. I’ll admit, it’s the best night’s sleep I’ve gotten… fuck, maybe ever.
But now it’s over. I let my fantasy last through the night, but now I have to get the fuck out of here and regroup.
I carefully untangle myself from Carter’s limbs. He moves a little and grunts but doesn’t wake up. I take a second to admire his handsome face – his long eyelashes resting against high cheek bones, the beard I love so much and dream about what it would feel like between my legs, his messy hair tangled to one side as he sleeps.
God this man is gorgeous. And kind. And witty. And protective. And he’s exactly someone I could fall in love with. Which is why I have to leave.
I gather my socks and shoes and tiptoe out the door, stopping outside to slip my shoes on. I head to the bus stop, hoping to catch an early bus.
***
When I get home, I head straight to the shower. I have to wash off the previous night, even if it means washing Carter’s scent off of me as well.
Especially if it means washing carter off of me. I can’t. I can’t want him and I sure as fuck can’t need him.
The hot water runs out all too quickly, but that’s what I get for choosing this shit hole studio apartment. Honestly, it’s not the worse place I’ve lived by far. It’s a few steps up from the back seat of my mom’s Toyota Corolla.
Stop it. No more memories.
Shit. It seems like once I get stuck in one horror story of my life, they all come flooding back. Just another reason I have to keep my distance from Carter. I’m way too fucked up. He might have helped me last night, but how many more times will he have to deal with the nightmares, panic attacks, and flashbacks before he gets sick of them? Of me? God knows I’m not worth it.
No. Better to cut ties now before I get used to having him in my life. The twinge of pain in my chest lets me know there’s a part of me that already needs him. Time to shut that shit down.
After drying off, I walk over to the pile of clothes on my floor. I haven’t had the funds to furnish this place yet, but I have my eye on some things at Goodwill. My next paycheck will go towards getting the basics – a bed, a dresser, maybe a couch if I can
find a cheap one.
I pull on my favorite pair of black skinny jeans and a tank top, looking around for my hair brush. I stand, staring out the window while I drag the brush through my hair.
I notice there’s a black SUV parked outside of the apartment complex. It’s not the weirdest thing, just a little odd. It seems like far too nice of a vehicle for this part of town. Drug deal, maybe? I guess 8 am might not be the optimal time for drugs, but what do I know?
The window rolls down to reveal a man in sunglasses facing my direction. I can’t tell if he’s looking at me because of his dark shades, but he seems to nod before rolling up the window and driving away.
Weird.
Really fucking weird.
It’s been a weird day already, and I’ve only been awake for an hour.
***
I’ve successfully avoided Carter for three days now. Ok, so it really didn’t have anything to do with me or my skills, he just hasn’t been around the clubhouse at all. I should be relieved, happy even. I don’t want to face him now that it feels like he’s witnessed the most vulnerable parts of me. And I’m not even talking about his glorious cock sinking inside of my pussy. No, what he saw that night was so much more revealing.
Instead of relief, however, I feel… I don’t even know. Rejected? Lonely? I guess that stupid, weak part of me wants him to be my protector and wishes he’d shown up the next day asking if I was alright.
Fuck that.
I don’t need anyone.
“Liv! Where’s your head at today, girl?”
Stacy pulls me from my stupid thoughts.
“Hey, sorry. Just tired, I guess.”
“I knew I should have made you take some time off after that fucker grabbed you.”
Stacy has taken her momma bear routine to the next level after that night.
“I told you, I’m fine. It really wasn’t a big deal. I put him in his place, didn’t I?”
I try to smile and play it off. Truth is, what the guy did wasn’t that big of a deal. As much as it sucks, being groped isn’t a new experience for me. It just comes with the territory of being a woman these days. What triggered me was his looks, his smell, his yellow teeth. But I can’t think about that now.
Loving Liv (Chaos MC #2) Page 4
