Anguish

by Bella Jewel

  “Then tomorrow we move out.”

  “Fuck. What am I supposed to tell Jaylah?”

  “You tell her it’s club business, and you’ll be gone a few days. We’ll have the girls covered with security, so she’ll be safe.”

  Shit.

  “Fine. We leavin’ first thing?”

  Krypt nods. “Be there.”

  “Yeah,” I mutter, staring through the window at my girl. “I’ll be there.”

  ~*~*~*~

  “I hate that you’re going,” I whisper, clutching his leather jacket.

  Mack leans down, running his fingers over my jaw. “Only be a few days.”

  “If something happens . . .”

  His eyes flash. “It’s my life, baby. It’s a risk sometimes.”

  “What about Diesel?” I breathe.

  Soft lips connect with mine, and he kisses me for a minute. “He’ll be fine. If anything happens, he goes to you.”

  “What?” I breathe.

  “Saw how much you love him; saw how much he means. No one else in the world I’d want my boy with than you.”

  Tears well in my eyes. “Miakoda, I think you’re making me fall in love with you.”

  His eyes soften and the corners crinkle slightly. “Already there for me, baby.”

  Jesus.

  I reach up, my fingers grazing his jaw. “Please come home.”

  “I’ll come home.”

  His lips come over mine again, and I hear the murmuring of voices around us. That’s when chaos begins. It starts with Tyke roaring, “Maddox, inside!”

  I pull back from Mack, turn, and before I can see what’s happening, his arms are at my middle and he’s pulling me inside. Gunfire sounds out, hitting the walls around us, exploding into bikes, and the girls begin to scream. My mind flashes to Diesel, who’s inside. Oh, God.

  “Mack!” I scream.

  He’s nearly at the door when I see her through the back window. Ash is out in the yard, coming from the trees. She’s a fair distance away, and she looks frantic.

  “MACK!” I cry again. “Ash, she’s in the yard.”

  He gets me through the door, and spins to me, all while pulling out his gun. “Someone will get her. Do not fuckin’ go out there. Stay here, away from the windows. You get a gun and you fuckin’ shoot.”

  Then he’s gone.

  Gone.

  Santana is gathering the women, all of them except Ash.

  “Ash is out there!” I scream.

  She turns to me, her face white. She scans the room, and then her hand goes to her throat.

  “I’m getting her,” I yell. “They guys are all around the front; they won’t see her. I don’t have time to wait for them to get to her. ”

  “Jaylah, no!” Santana yells. “Let them. Don’t go out there.”

  I don’t listen; I don’t stop.

  I run out the front door. Gunfire is everywhere. That’s when I see her. My entire body goes still. She’s on the ground, blood pouring from her chest. No. My mind screams at me, and I can see bikes surrounding the clubhouse. Loud explosions are everywhere. Where’s Krypt? Where is he? Why isn’t he helping her? Why isn’t anyone helping her? Then I remember; Krypt isn’t here. He went out. Oh God, he’s not here to help her.

  They were meant to help her, and they didn’t. I can’t leave her there.

  “Don’t you fuckin’ dare!” I hear Mack roar. “Jaylah, don’t.”

  I turn. Half of the club members are back inside, loading up on weapons. Maddox glares at me. Mack’s eyes are wild, and both are giving me a clear warning.

  “Ash, she’s down,” I scream. “I’m not leaving her.”

  “Jaylah,” Mack roars as I spin. “You fuckin’ stay there. We got this.”

  “You don’t!” I scream, and then I leap off the porch.

  “Fuckin’ hell!” Maddox booms. “Get them fuckin’ covered. Pull back the explosion.”

  I run full-throttle towards Ash. Voices are everywhere, gunshots, screams, and explosions. I don’t focus on those; I focus on Ash. I make it to her in record time, and she’s covered in so much blood. She’s not awake. God, please, please don’t let her die. I have to get her somewhere safe. I glance around quickly. I can’t take her inside; it’s too far. Instead, I lift her hands, and I drag her back into the trees.

  A gunshot flies by my head, and my heart begins to pound so hard I find it difficult to breathe. I drop to my knees, sheltering Ash and I behind a thick lot of trees. Then I reach down, pressing my hand to her neck. Motherfucker, her pulse is barely there, if at all. Her face is going blue. God, she’s struggling to breathe. I rip off my shirt, tears streaming down my face, and I press it to the flowing wound.

  “Stay with me, Ash, please,” I cry.

  I have to breathe for her; I have to. I pull off my pants next; they’re stretch material. I roll them beneath her and bring them up and around, tying them tightly so the material holds the pressure on her chest, then I check her out. I go with her airways first; they’re slightly blocked with blood. I tilt her head slightly, allowing the liquid to run out. I hiccup loudly. Get it together. Get it together.

  I lean down, and I start breathing into her mouth. I’m not entirely sure if it’s pointless or not, but I won’t stop. I breathe into her until I can hardly breathe myself. Her pulse is there; faint, but there. My hands, my arms, my body, they’re all covered in her blood. I’m crying so hard I can’t see, but I don’t stop. I push breath into her body over and over as gunfire sounds out around me.

  I don’t know how long I’m there. I don’t count the minutes. I just breathe into her until it feels as if razors are pushing in and out of my lungs, and my head is spinning. Her color isn’t as blue, and I know it’s helping her. When she takes her own, ragged breath that’s deeper and sturdier, I crumble. My hands go around her head gently and I press her to my chest. “Please, hold on, Ash. Hold on.”

  I hold her there for minutes, hours—I don’t know. Soon, the gunfire is gone and voices are bellowing around us. Footsteps, then Krypt and Mack are beside me. Krypt drops to his knees, but my hands are firmly around Ash, and I refuse to let go. “She wasn’t breathing w-w-w-w-well,” I whisper. “I breathed for her.”

  Tears fall from Krypt’s eyes, and he rasps, “No.”

  My body jerks for him. He reaches out, pulling her into his arms. Mack is already calling an ambulance. I try to stand, sway, and then because of my lack of proper breathing, I crash into the dirt. My eyes flutter closed as my brain kicks in and tries to take over. Hands are on my body, words are being frantically whispered into my ear, but it’s too late.

  I’m out.

  ~*~*~*~

  I wake in a hospital bed, still covered in Ash’s blood. I’ve got clothes on, but my skin is still tainted with her pain. Mack is by my side, staring at the wall, his face blank. I reach out, and the moment my fingers curl around his he turns to me. His eyes, they’re so angry. So angry.

  “Mack,” I croak.

  “I’ll get the doctor.”

  He stands, and then he’s gone. My heart cracks open. I don’t understand. Why is he angry with me? As I wait for him to come back, my eyes well with more tears. He returns a minute later, with an elderly man. The man introduces himself, checks me over, and tells me I’m okay to go, that I’m going to be fine.

  I slide out of bed, unable to look at myself, horrified by the blood. Mack is staring at the wall again, but the moment I’m out, he turns and walks me towards the hall. With shaky legs, I follow him.

  We get out and I see Krypt, Maddox, Santana and Tyke all sitting. Seeing Krypt, it breaks my heart. His face is so broken, so fucking broken. I want to go to him, but I can’t.

  “Mack,” I whisper. “What’s . . .”

  He spins to face me before I can answer. “I told you to stop,” he whispers.

  I reel backwards. “What?”

  “I said stop. I said stay inside. I said don’t fuckin’ go out!”

  I blink. Maddox is
by his side in a second.

  “You did a stupid fuckin’ thing.”

  Stupid?

  I don’t understand.

  “I . . . she was hurt.”

  “And you could have been killed,” Maddox growls. “Fuckin’ worse, Santana could have been killed, because she was seconds behind you and if I wasn’t there, she would have been out that door chasin’ you. We had a plan, shit was set up—we were goin’ to end it, and you runnin’ out there fuckin’ ruined the lot. You’re not even a fuckin’ Old Lady. You fuckin’ don’t belong here.”

  I jerk at his words. “I was h-h-h-helping her.”

  “We had a man on it. He was waitin’ for the fuckin’ right time!” Maddox roars.

  “Maddox,” Santana whispers, but her voice is so broken.

  “You could have been killed,” Mack adds in, his voice like ice. “You ran out, Santana, ran out. Who the fuck was watchin’ that baby?”

  I flinch.

  “Ash was hurt,” I say pitifully.

  Tears burn in my eyes and then tumble down my face.

  “Saw you there, blood all fuckin’ over you, thought you were fuckin’ hit,” Mack whispers, his voice now a whip.

  “She was.” I swallow, and a sob rises up. “Hurt.”

  “A man was goin’ for her,” Maddox snarls.

  “I didn’t know!” I scream.

  Suddenly, Krypt is up. He shoves past Maddox and when he reaches Mack, he lifts his fist and he punches him so hard, Mack takes two steps back. Then, in a deadly voice, Krypt roars, “Your fuckin’ girl quite fuckin’ possibly saved Ash’s life. She ran into a fuckin’ war to save my girl. She was fuckin’ brave, and beautiful, and fuckin’ amazing. She got her breathing; we might not have had fuckin’ time if we had waited for your fuckin’ man, you selfish son-of-a-bitch.”

  Mack looks like he’s going to explode. His fists are clenching angrily, and his face is red.

  Krypt doesn’t stop. He turns to me, and hauls me into his arms. “She comes outta this, honey,” he murmurs into my ear, “I’ll owe you for the rest of my life. If she doesn’t, I’ll still owe you. Brave, beautiful girl. Thank you.”

  Then he lets me go, and disappears. I turn to Mack, who is staring at me, and I can see the emotion in his eyes. I shake my head and rasp, “She could have died. Nothing else mattered in that second.”

  I turn to Maddox, and whisper, “You should be ashamed of yourself.”

  Then I leave the hospital.

  It’s the worst mistake I ever make.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  After ensuring Diesel was safe, and finding out he was with Tracy until this blew over, I found Mack’s car keys and took them. I did all this only communicating with Santana, who cried a lot of the time. I need to breathe; I need to gather myself. They blamed me . . . as if it’s my fault Ash is in surgery, fighting for her life.

  That fucking hurt.

  I make my way out to Mack’s truck, and am barely there when I feel the presence behind me. At first I think it’s Mack, and I turn slowly, not worried. When I see it’s not Mack, but Benito . . . my heart twists. He grins at me, not saying a word. Then he lifts his hand and plunges a needle into my neck. I try to scream, I try, but nothing comes out except a pathetic gurgle.

  Then, my world goes black.

  ~*~*~*~

  I wake in a dark, dark room. So dark I can’t see a damned thing. It takes me a solid few minutes to realize it’s not just my eyesight but the fact that I am, in fact, in a dark room with no windows, no natural light, no lamps, nothing. I’m in complete darkness. My throat burns and terror fills my body. I know why I’m here; I know what Benito wants, and I don’t like it.

  I curl up, finding that surprisingly, I’m not tied. That either tells me Benito is stupid, or he’s a cocky bastard. I’m going with the second option. He’s probably got this place, wherever it is, surrounded. My eyes burn with tears, and I tuck my legs to my chest. This is without a doubt the worst day in the history of bad days. I don’t know if Ash is okay, and I don’t even know if the club will notice I’m gone.

  I drop my head, focusing on my breathing.

  I’m busy doing that, so it takes me a moment to hear the locks on the door rattling. I lift my head in time to see the door open, and Benito walks in with a tall, dark man beside him. He flashes me a sick, sick grin, and my skin crawls. How this man is related in any way to Mack is beyond me. He closes the door behind him and flicks on a light. Huh, so there is light.

  “How are you feeling, Jaylah?”

  I glare at him.

  “Don’t be like that. This doesn’t have to be difficult.”

  “You’ll pay for this,” I growl, and Benito throws his head back and laughs.

  “I doubt that, considering you were storming out of a hospital after a deadly attack on the club. Which means you were alone, and those members are going to be busy worrying about the recent fight. How long do you think it’ll take them to figure out you’re gone?”

  I swallow. He’s right about that. The guys will think I’ve gone somewhere to cool off. It might take them hours, even days to figure out I’m gone. How the hell are they supposed to find me? I could be cities away—hell, they could have put me on a God damned plane while I was out and flew me across the ocean.

  “They’ll find me,” I say anyway.

  Benito laughs. “If that makes you feel better then I’m all for you believing it. Now, I’m here to introduce you to your new baby-daddy, Kane.”

  My heart feels like it stops beating as I turn to Kane. He’s a darker man, with a crooked smile, and cold brown eyes.

  “No,” I rasp.

  “Oh, yes. Best you get acquainted with him, because you’ll be sent home with his baby inside you. I wonder how Mack will feel about you then. Do you really think he’ll care for you with another man’s baby? Worse, he couldn’t possibly care for a child that isn’t his. Poor Mack. He’ll be heartbroken.”

  He would be, too. I know what it would do to Mack to know I was raped and impregnated. I would lose him. Tears burn in my eyes at the very thought.

  “Not to mention,” Benito goes on, “he’ll know you’ve been with another man, especially when I send him photos.”

  Vomit rises in my throat, and my stomach burns. I blink, and a tear rolls down my cheek. That piece of shit. He’s going to crush not just me, but Mack too. He’ll create a monster, and Diesel will be forced to live with that monster.

  “You can’t possibly imagine how it feels to know you’re putting your dick in something that’s tainted. I fuckin’ did it for years. My wife was opening her legs for Mack, all while laying in my bed and taking my cock too.”

  I gag.

  “He’ll pay for that.”

  More tears fall.

  “So will you.”

  No. God, no.

  I have to fight; I have to get up and fight. There are only two of them. If I jump up suddenly, I might shock them enough to be able to escape. It’s worth the shot. Without thinking anymore about it, I leap up and I charge towards Benito. Instead of skirting around him, I drive a fist straight into his groin. He roars, lashing out and slapping me so hard I drop to the ground.

  It doesn’t stop me. I roll, my face burning, and I charge towards Kane. He’s a big guy, super big, but I don’t stop. With all my might, I smash into him. He takes a step back, trips, and we both go down. I lift a fist, driving it into his face over and over.

  Benito is up and behind me in seconds. He lifts me and launches me across the room. I hit the wall with a hard thump and a scream.

  I slide down, falling to my knees. Benito is there in a matter of seconds, driving his foot into my ribs. I scream, falling to my stomach as pain radiates through my body. I cry, heavy and hard as he leans down, tangling his hands in my hair and raising my head. “That was a fucking mistake,” he spits in my face. “Now, I’m going to make it hurt.”

  No.

  God, please.

  Mack.

  ~*
~*~*~

  “Where the fuck is she?” I roar, smashing my hand into the wall again.

  “You need to calm down, bro,” Maddox warns.

  I spin to him. “The truck is still there; it’s still fucking there. The keys are on the floor. He’s got her, Maddox.”

  “Yeah,” Maddox says, stepping forward. “And we need to get our shit together so we can find her.”

  “He’s goin’ to fuckin’ rape her,” I bellow.

  “We’ll find her, Mack.”

  “He’s goin’ to put some man’s baby inside her.”

  Maddox flinches, but his voice remains hard. “We’ll get her.”

  “Maddox,” I rasp, panting. “I fuckin’ blamed her.”

  He steps forward, squeezing my shoulder. “We fucked up, but we’re goin’ to find her.”

  “We ran her outta here for saving Ash’s life.”

  “We’ll get her.”

  “She fuckin’ saved her life, and we sent her out.”

  “Mack . . .”

  “We didn’t do that, he wouldn’t have her.”

  Maddox leans in closer. “You need to fuckin’ stop.”

  “Fuck.”

  He wraps a hand around my neck. “Let’s go. We’ll get her back.”

  We have to get her fuckin’ back.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  MARCUS

  Motherfucker.

  He’s got Mack’s girl.

  I saw it, just as I was pulling up to the hospital to check on everyone. He had her over his shoulder and he was takin’ her away. I didn’t take a minute to think about it; I threw myself into my truck and I followed them. I don’t need this shit. I have so much of my own bullshit to deal with. Katia. I’m dealing with Katia. I don’t need to be dealing with Jaylah, too.

  But Mack is my friend, and fucked if I can just walk away knowing where his woman is.

  They’re in a small house, right in the middle of fucking nowhere. Three cars, eight men. I’ve been watching for three hours, figuring out who the fuck is in there and where she might be. There are two men standing by the door, guns in their hands. Another two come in and out frequently, driving off and coming back with shit. What shit, I don’t know.

  The rest I’ve counted coming in and out, including Mack’s brother, Benito, and a big, angry looking dark man. I’ve got one fuckin’ gun, and no idea how the fuck I’m supposed to take down eight men. I’d call Mack, but sure as shit I’ve got no service, and I’m not risking leaving to go and get him. So it’s me, and me alone.