by S. Moose
“Can you spend the night with me?” I shake my head, “Please? I sleep better with you.”
“Go back to her, Treston. I’m tired and need sleep.” Without saying bye or hearing what else he has to say, I turn my back to him and walk away.
Finally settling in my room, I hug my pillow and cry. I’m so stupid. I want him to let me all the way in and let me help him. I hate that he’s putting himself in the dark and pushes me away when I get close. This invisible line he’s drawing is killing me. When I think about Treston, I think about the hope of being really happy and knowing that he’d make me laugh. The hope I have for us is gone. And it’s partly my fault. If I told him how I felt, maybe he’d say the same. I know we share the same feelings. What guy shares a bed with a girl and holds her throughout the night?
The next day at school, I can’t focus and my head is killing me. Professor Clarke cancelled class today so we could work on our projects. I’m trying to come up with any excuse possible because I don’t want to work on this with him.
Trying to sleep last night was hard. I kept thinking about him and trying to figure him out. It was stupid and I seriously need to get over him.
My phone buzzes and it’s him.
Can we meet tonight and work on the report? I have the information printed out
Me: Sure…I’ll stop by after practice
Needing to skip the rest of today, I head back to the house and lay in bed. My body is screaming at me to sleep, while my head is screaming to go to him.
The door opens and I open my eyes to find Jamie coming in.
“Hey,” she says, sitting on the bed with me.
“Hi.”
“So I saw Treston last night and he looked pretty sad. Then I saw him this morning and he looks bad. Kinda like you.”
“Stop,” I tell her. “This isn’t what I want to hear or know.” Please don’t cry. Please don’t cry!
“I’ve been watching you two. Why can’t you admit to him that you like him? I think he feels the same way, Zara.”
“Well, if he did then he wouldn’t have rushed off away from me and brought home some skank.”
“Can you blame him? We talked last night for a little while and he was pretty hurt from what he overheard you say. Why would you say that if you don’t mean it?”
I try to look away, but Jamie grabs my face in her hands and forces me to look at her. “Because I’m fucking scared. Is that what you want to hear?”
“Yes!”
I push her away, get up from my bed and grab my stick. “I’m going outside. I can’t think like this.”
“Then I’m coming with you.”
Standing outside in the backyard, with the fence staring at back at me, I release the ball from my stick and hit the fence with everything I have. The ball comes back and I do this a few more times before talking to her.
“I gave up on Jackson because I got bored and wanted more. Then I meet Treston.” I throw the ball again. “And fall for his man whore, annoying asshat self.” I feel the tears, but focus and scream to keep from crying. “I really like him. Seeing him with these skanks is annoying. After I left, he didn’t come after me, so who knows what he did with her last night.”
“Zara…”
“No!” I throw the ball again. “It sucks knowing that he doesn’t want me. I don’t care what you or anyone else says.” I turn to her, tears running down my face, “If he likes me then he would tell me. He’s a big boy, Jamie. We’re adults and we can talk about our feelings.” I throw my stick across the yard and fall down.
Jamie comes down with me, bringing me into her arms as I cry out of hurt and frustration. “It’ll be okay. Come on. Let’s watch a movie before practice.” I nod and follow her inside.
At practice, I’m useless. Coach Kaler makes me run suicides until I can get focused. Finally, after a few hundred sprints, I’m in lacrosse mode and kill each goal.
“About damn time, Borzilleri!” She blows the whistle and we run a few more drills and scrimmage.
When practice is over, I hurry home to shower and get ready. Putting on shorts and a fitted shirt, I grab my books and bag to meet Treston. Part of me wants to meet him in the library, but it’s too late. Sucking in a breath and putting on my big girl panties, I walk inside and find Treston on the floor in the living room with papers and books all over.
“Hey,” he looks up and smiles. “Wow, look at you.”
“Yeah,” he rubs the back of his head, “I wanted to make sure we were prepared so I printed some articles and highlighted different battles and issues we can research. I’ m thinking something current.”
“Same here.”
I sit down and take out my own notes and books. We silently sit across from each other, reading the articles. A few times I find myself staring at him, the way his eyes would move from line to line and how perfect his hair looks. His legs are extended out and the tight white tee he has on shows his defined and broad shoulders.
I have to force myself to stop staring. He doesn’t want you, I repeat to myself a few times. I extend my long legs and let out a somewhat moaning sigh. Raising my arms up in the air, I arch my back and sigh some more.
“My back is killing me,” I tell him, standing up and bending down to stretch. My ass is in his direction and I can feel him staring. Take that asshat.
“Holy shit,” I stand back up and turn to find Ethan staring at me with his mouth open. “Damn, Peaches. You have a serious ass.”
My face turns all sorts of colors. I sit down and pick up the article again.
“Get out, Ethan,” Treston commands.
I hear him laugh, watching him walk out of the house. Okay, so now I’m a dumb girl. I seriously need to take lessons from the girls on how to seduce a guy and make them regret not wanting you.
“Feel better?” He asks me and I nod. “You do have a serious ass.” I look up and see a smirk on his face. Ugh!
Goose bumps cover my body as I catch him staring at me. Neither of us moves or says anything, even though I’m torn in two. One side is saying to tell him how I feel and the other is saying to back away slowly. He has a lot of issues and if he can’t let me in, then there’s no point. The basis of a relationship is to have trust, communication and love.
The next few days are weird. I can’t seem to put my finger on it. I’ve been texting him, asking if he wants to go for a run or shoot around, and there’s no answer. I hate that we’re not talking.
It’s Friday and everyone’s going out tonight, except this girl. My body is so sore from practice and I want a day to relax and read, probably sleep too.
“You’re so lame,” Katy tells me, “Just get your ass up and come out with us. It’s going to be fun! You’re missing out.”
“No. I’m going to stay home and relax. It’s been a long few days.”
“Whatever. Lame. You are lame.”
“I love you too. Have fun!”
I watch the girls leave and soon the house is quiet. Damn, maybe I should’ve gone out. Getting up, I go into the kitchen to make a small snack. Peanut butter on a spoon is the only way to eat it. Sticking the spoon in my mouth, I sit back on the couch and turn on the TV. There’s a marathon of chick flicks. A night full of love stories is exactly what I need.
The Time Traveler’s Wife is the first movie and soon I’m in tears. Damn my life. Maybe I shouldn’t have watched this movie. I mean, come on! How does it make any sense? The ending!
The doorbell rings and I get up to open it. Standing in front of me is a very sexy and very well scented, Treston.
“What are you doing here?”
He pushes himself in and I close the door. “It’s Friday night and you’re home alone. Why?”
“I’m sore,” I tell him, walking back to the couch.
"I figured." He rummages through his bag and looks at me. Showing a bottle of Biofreeze in his hands he says, "Let me help work out the muscles. Can you lift your shirt up?"
I don't have on a bra. What t
he ever fuck. "I um, don't have a bra under my shirt."
His expression immediately changes and he's looking at me as if he wants me. Oh my. "Ah just lay on your," he coughs and clears his throat, "chest." I stand before him with wide eyes. I have no idea what to do.
"Turn around." He does and I slowly lift up my shirt, feeling my muscles crack, and the pain shooting down. "Ow," I whimper, lying back down on the couch.
The cool sensation of the Biofreeze touches my back with his smooth hands. Instantly, I relax. The feel of his strong hands rubbing and massaging my back, arms and hands feels so good. Little moans leave my lips and it's so hard to be quiet. Soon his hands are on my calves and I melt. Oh my goodness he's not only a god, but his hands.
I wonder what else he's good at.
Stop! Stop! He's your friend, I shout at myself.
I moan again and feel his grip on me tighten. "Treston?"
"Peaches, you can't make those noises." His voice is rough and needy, making me confused.
"Huh?"
He stops massaging me and leans in close to my face. "You have no idea how sexy you look right now and what you're doing to me. Those little noises, because I'm touching you, is making me want to flip you over so I can cherish you."
Reality sinks in and my confusion disappears. Oh my goodness. I’m turning him on. Holy shit. I mean, I know I’m not experienced or anything, so I’m hoping that he doesn’t think I want something because I’m letting him touch me. I turn my head over my shoulder to look at him. “I hope you’re not getting the wrong idea, Treston. I mean, I appreciate you coming over and helping me. I’m not trying to seduce you.”
“We’re friends,” his tone is back to being emotionless. “I know you aren’t.”
My eyes widen and it kills me when he says we’re friends. I know this is what we agreed on and I know it’s my decision. When the words slip out of his mouth a pang of sadness hits me. I don’t want to be just his friend. I want more. I’m completely falling for him.
Our eyes stay on each other and the need to touch him heightens. Even though I've only known him for a short period of time, I love everything about him. I love the way he holds me and I love when we run together. I love the silence between us and how he’ll watch all of the Fast and the Furious movies with me whenever I want. I love the way he makes me feel and I love how scared I am when he’s around. The fear of Treston doesn’t make me want to run away. I want to embrace him and never let him go. If he’s been hurt in the past, maybe he doesn’t believe in love and being with someone. If I want to be with him, I have to tear down his walls and make him let me in. He’s not going to do it himself.
Treston looks away, "can you put your shirt back on and something else on like a tank top or whatever you girls wear?"
"Can you turn back around?" Please don't.
Throwing back on my shirt, I head upstairs to put on a bra and a long sleeve shirt. When I’m back downstairs, he’s on the couch. Sitting down with him, I have my legs up with a blanket over my body.
“I hope you want to watch The Lucky One.”
“Sounds good to me.” He calmly responds.
The movie plays and soon I feel my eyes getting heavy and tired. Feeling relaxed and sleepy, I shut my eyes and feel an arm pulling me down.
“Sleep, beautiful.”
I wake up and see Treston watching me. He's playing with my hair and his other hand is resting on my body.
"Why are you still awake?"
At first he doesn't say anything. He looks at me, still playing with my hair, and I wait for him to answer. "I like watching you sleep. It calms me."
"Oh." I don't know what else to say.
Minutes pass and we're still in the same position. Neither of us saying anything. It’s nice being here with him like this. There’s no one around us and we’re not arguing. We’re just us.
"Can I spend the night with you?" He asks me, breaking the silence.
"Okay," I whisper, getting up from the couch and taking his hand. Our fingers entwine and we're inches apart. I want to kiss him and I slightly lean forward, but quickly change my mind. "Come on," I say to him and we head upstairs to my room.
Getting comfortable on the bed, we're both facing each other. My hand is tucked under my pillow and my other hand is in front of my face. Treston rests his arm on me and it feels good being close to him, like this is how we're supposed to be. "Tell me something about yourself, Treston. Something no one knows.
He pauses and blinks a few times before answering. "I'm afraid of the dark."
The vulnerability he's showing me means so much. I know it's hard for him to open himself up. "I'm glad you told me."
"What's your secret?"
I take a deep breath and tell myself I should come clean. Maybe once he knows how I feel and how regretful I am for saying we'll never be, it'll show him I want him. "I lied earlier. I do want to be with you. I'm falling for you. And it scares me."
His breath hitches and we're still staring at each other. His lips part and slowly closes again. Will he kiss me? I want him to. I think about taking the leap of faith and going in, but I hold back. Instead I touch his cheek and lean in to kiss his forehead.
I fell in love with the lacrosse player, but now I’m falling for the real Treston Parker, not The King.
CHAPTER 12
TRESTON
"HI HONEY," MY MOM walks into the living room and sits down next to me. I'm supposed to be at the house now, but need to stay away from campus for a little longer. Since the night at Zara's, I haven't been returning her text messages. I don't blame her for giving up and avoiding me. I'm being a complete dick to her and I'm going to lose her before anything happens.
I woke up before her and left without saying a word. She deserves more than I could give. After hearing her admit her secret, it freaked me out a little. This is what I've been waiting to hear, but hearing it aloud did something to me.
"Is everything okay?" I look at her and shake my head. "You've been sad for so long. And then you bring over a beautiful girl, who by the way, I really like. She's so sweet, Treston."
"Yeah, she is."
"So what's wrong?"
"She told me she's falling for me, pretty much. It's what I wanted to hear. Then I hear it and freak out. Am I crazy?"
My mom brings me in for a hug and I let her. I don't give a shit how old you are, if your mom wants to hug you, then you let her hug you. Seriously, my mom gives the best hugs.
"You have to let go of Emily. I know it's hard and I know you blame yourself. The accident isn't your fault. Her cancer isn't your fault."
"I made her stop treatment." Closing my eyes, I hold in the tears. Emily didn't want to continue with chemo. She wanted to spend her last moments here with me and making memories that she could take to Heaven. "I never pushed her to continue. She would have listened to me."
"No, baby. She wouldn't have. Emily's decision to stop treatment is her decision alone. What you did for her, taking her away from here, and letting her be comfortable in the house the both of you fell in love at, that's something she has forever. But the accident is not your fault."
"It is." I get up from the couch and grab my keys, "I'm heading out to the party. I love you Mom, and thanks."
"I love you too, Treston. Call me later, okay?" I nod and walk out of the house.
I check my phone and there’s nothing from Peaches. Starting my car I zoom the streets to get back to the house. She has to be at the party and it irritates me that she's there without me. I miss her and want her near me. I realize that I need to show her that I can treat her right.
Parking my car, I head inside, hoping that she’s around. When I walk in, I see Henry with a group of guys. I turn and see Gavin with Katy on the couch. Before I could walk over to them to ask where Zara is, Ethan comes up to me and pushes me to the side.
“Can I help you?” I seethe, impatiently waiting for his answer.
“You need to hear me out and don’t freak out.�
�� Which means I will. “Henry’s telling people that he slept with Zara. She left with him and they went to his car.”
Red. I see red. I fucking am going to kill Henry. Fucking asshole. Who the fuck does he think he is for touching my girl?
Pushing Ethan aside, I rush to Henry, pulling him around and gripping the collar of his pathetic looking polo, I pull my arm back, ready to punch his face.
“Parker! Yo! Stop!” Gavin and Ethan pull me away and I’m still fucking raging.
“Don’t fucking stand there and look at me you piece of shit. You know damn well Zara didn’t fucking sleep with you.” I pull away from them and look at Katy. “Where is she?”
“At the house. Treston, what the fuck is going on?”
Not wanting to talk more, I rush out of the house and run to the girls’ house. Opening the door, I close it and head upstairs. I need answers and she’s going to tell me the truth.
Opening her bedroom door, I’m about to yell and scream when I see her curled up on her bed, holding her phone. Fuck, I feel like an asshole. She’s been waiting for me and I’ve been avoiding her. But to be fair, she’s been avoiding me too.
Slowly walking over to her bed, I get on my knees and push her hair from her eyes. I touch my lips to hers, hoping to wake her up. Her eyes flutter open and she looks at me.
“Treston.”
“Hi, Peaches.” I stroke her face.
“I miss you,” she sighs, pushing up the covers to invite me in next to her. I do as she wants and pull her close to me.
“I miss you too. I’m sorry for leaving you alone. It won’t happen again. But can you open your eyes again and listen to me?”
“I’m already awake.”
“Did you and Henry do anything tonight?”
She shrugs and rearranges herself so that she’s sitting up, staring at me. In her eyes, I can tell if she's lying or telling me the truth. Even though deep down, I know the answer already.
“We talked and he walked me to the door. Why?”
I’m going to fucking kill him. Henry’s dead. “No, baby. It's nothing. I wanted to make sure." I need to change the topic and fast before she asks more questions. “Close your eyes, okay?”
