Finally...One Summer (Just One of the Guys)

by Kristi Pelton

  His breath on my neck caused goose bumps to spread across my skin. “I don’t know. My body wants that right now, but Zach and I, we….” I panted.

  Instantly he backed away, his eyes suddenly sober. “You what?” He cracked his neck, by twisting it from side to side.

  Suddenly embarrassed, my eyes darted to the floor.

  “You what, Emma?” he raised his voice.

  I shook my head. “Nothing.”

  His nostrils flared just a bit. “Don’t say nothing. What? You and Zach what? Were you and he together?”

  I tried to step past him and wanted to leave.

  “You were, weren’t you? Just tell me. It’s OK. I have no right to be upset.”

  Spinning around toward him, my eyes were angry. It was clear now all he wanted. The past two weeks, he was on a mission. “Yes.”

  “When?” he asked with a clenched jaw and lacing his fingers behind his head.

  “Does it matter?”

  “It does to me.”

  “Why? Because I’m not a virgin anymore!!” My anger boiled over and I bolted toward the door and slid on the sand covering the slate floor.

  “You think that’s what this was about?” He yelled. “Your virginity? How was it by the way? Everything you thought it would be?”

  “It was perfect with him!” I shouted back, tears brimming in my eyes.

  “Excellent,” he spoke more calmly. “Sounds like you’re well on your way to 17…let me know if I should pick a number and get in line.”

  If fire could have shot from my nose, it would have, and the glass rattled as I slammed the French doors. I’d only taken two steps when the tears flowed freely. I hated leaving this way. I’d never had a fight with Austin. Ever!! What about our list? What about our last few days? I turned around and went back to the door just in time to hear Austin let out a furious growl and slam his tightened fist into the stainless steel refrigerator. Then I turned and ran…

  Chapter 32—unspoken goodbye

  The next morning a sickening sweet florally smell infiltrated my room. I rolled over to face the muted morning light and twelve long-stemmed yellow roses tied with a yellow inch wide ribbon, lay on my pillow. The folded list tucked neatly in the flowers. I smiled as I opened it. In fresh ink at the bottom, he wrote. Here’s to tomorrow! I’m sorry…

  My phone lay lifelessly on my nightstand. No messages. No texts. No calls.

  Heading straight out for my morning run, I ventured south rather than north—my pace faster than normal. I needed to see Austin.

  The sun wasn’t out but there was hope as it lingered behind the high clouds. I spotted someone on the Falsone’s deck in a chair. I smiled—he knew I ran every morning. I hoped he hadn’t fallen asleep out there. I slowed as I approached the deck and Mr. Falsone smiled warmly down at me.

  “Emma Hendricks. Good morning,” He greeted.

  “Hi. Mr. Falsone,” I said anxiously.

  “How are you, young lady?”

  I smiled, a bit winded though I didn’t prefer the word young to describe myself. “Fine. It’s beautiful out.”

  “Isn’t it though.”

  “Is Austin awake, yet?” I asked nervously and feared maybe I should have jogged past. He shook his head folding the newspaper. “I don’t imagine. His mother found him in the kitchen this morning around 4:00 taking some medicine.”

  I seriously fought the smile I felt spreading across my face as I speculated a hangover.

  “Temperature and chills,” he finished.

  Oh no! Strep throat. “Mr. Falsone. I just got over having strep throat and my parents were out of town and Austin was with me. Taking care of me. But he could have it.”

  After rising from his chair, he slapped The Oregonian in his hand startling me. “He told us that and Dr. Liffel is a friend so we’ve already got him some antibiotics. Thanks, Emma.” His steps were leading him indoors.

  “May I see him?”

  He frowned. “I’ll tell him hello of course, but there is certainly no point in taking any chances of re-infecting you.”

  My body unconsciously slouched as his words came out. He was basically forbidding me to step foot in that house.

  “OK. I’ll see ya.” I waved and started running again. I peeked at Austin’s window and the blinds were closed.

  As I established my pace, I tried to focus on staying light in the sand. Training on the beach had always been an asset to my running. The sand made my step heavier and better prepared me for a rougher terrain much more than blacktop or cement. It felt good. My breathing was stable…steady and my pace was quick. This was going to be my year.

  That night on the beach, Austin was a no show. The little glimpses I’d take up the beach went unnoticed to the boys. Grant was staying a couple of days longer than us so he was dreading Ryan leaving.

  “Em?’

  “What?”

  “How are you doing with the whole…Paul thing?” Grant asked.

  I shrugged. “I’m OK. I still think about it a lot. Zach knows by the way.”

  Both sets of eyes widened in shock. “I don’t know how he found out,” I said as my eyes flickered between the two.

  “Wasn’t me,” Ryan quickly added.

  “Me either. Em. I would never.”

  I nodded. “I know. I don’t know who told him. Austin swears it wasn’t him either.”

  “What did he say?” Grant questioned.

  “Not a lot really. We were in the middle of breaking up when he brought it up.” My voice cracked at the end.

  The gentleness that radiated from Grant’s eyes concerned me. Did he think that opened a door for him?

  “Emma? What happened?”

  “Runt, why didn’t you say anything?”

  I lay back in the chair hoping the pain would be less if I was horizontal. It didn’t work. “I don’t know what happened,” I lied. “I let the distance fill my head with doubts.”

  “Em. Was it me?” Grant asked curiously.

  I shook my head. “No. I mean that didn’t help, but it wasn’t the breaking point.”

  “I noticed he wasn’t in my room last night. I thought he was in with you.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. He left.”

  “You OK?” Ryan asked.

  “I just don’t think he wants me anymore. That’s twice he’s left.”

  “I promised you long ago, if he did this, I’d break his neck,” Ryan reminded.

  I glared at him. “Stop. You won’t do anything.” I stood after taking another glance south. “This is all my fault. Not his.” I shuffled through the cold sand up to the house.

  I dialed Zach’s number. It rang six times before his voicemail answered. I hung up.

  My morning run was much the same as yesterday, though the sun was completely concealed by the clouds today. My destination was still the same and my heart sped as I knocked on the French door.

  Mrs. Falsone greeted me with a wide smile. “Emma. It’s lovely to see you. Austin isn’t home sweetheart.”

  So he was better. This made me happy. “Will you tell him I stopped by?”

  “I will. He’ll be back in two days.”

  My body froze in a sudden state of distress. “Two days?”

  She nodded. “He was barely well and out of bed and his father drug him to Portland for two days.”

  “Why?” I knew why. Mr. Falsone got him away from me as quick as he could.

  “I’m not sure what it was about. Austin was reluctant and angry. He’ll be glad to hear you stopped by.”

  “Thanks so much. Talk to you soon.” I waved and didn’t look back as I reached full speed.

  Once the cars were loaded, we headed out with Ryan driving my new car. I stared at Austin’s unoccupied house as we drove past. I had tried to call his cell phone twice with no answer and opted not to leave a message. Our list was tucked away for safekeeping and I didn’t know if we’d ever complete it. It was best this way.

  Anxiety regulated my digestive tr
act better than any diet I could hope for and with the stress of all that was going on, Ryan and I had to make several stops. Ryan didn’t talk as we followed my mom in her car and my dad, who led the pack.

  “What are you going to do about Ali?” I asked.

  His look was one of guilt and disappointment. “I don’t know. Don’t say anything to her. Let me play it by ear.”

  Normally, I would have thrown the fact that he cheated in his face, but I had no room to judge. As for my own options with Zach, I came up with three.

  First, I could do nothing and see if I ran into him around town. This option would be the hardest. For me to do nothing and ignore the agonizing pain would be unbearable. I had to be proactive. Besides, the longer I waited the longer we’d be apart. The better chance Jaycee would think she’d have. No, another option had to be better.

  Secondly, I could go directly to his house and try and work it out. This would be the most appealing option. I would get an answer sooner than later and hope I ran into his mother. He would listen to me…wouldn’t he?

  Thirdly, it’s too late to do anything. He’s moved on with someone that would be honest and loyal to him. Bile inched its way up my esophagus, burning the back of my throat.

  It seemed forever since I’d seen his face, and I closed my eyes trying to picture his expression when he saw mine. His expressions were familiar to me, but I struggled being content with what my mind came up with.

  “Runt. What happened with you and Zach?”

  I stared out the tinted windows of Austin’s Audi—my Audi now—the dark sea wrestled against the cliffs. “Don’t tell?” I asked with cautious eyes.

  “Emma. I would never tell. Number one, guys don’t talk. And neither do brothers.”

  I smiled at him as he twisted the knob down on the radio.

  Once I started, I didn’t stop. The words flowed so fast, I had to pause to breathe. I told him everything. About Zach and I being together once and about Austin and the list.

  “So you and Austin skinny dipped…naked?”

  “That’s what skinny dipping is, you dumbass,” I teased.

  “Naked!” He repeated.

  I chuckled and nodded as my cheeks flushed.

  “Wow Em!” His eyes were wide.

  “Shut up!”

  “Austin?”

  “Stop repeating yourself.”

  He rubbed over his brow. “I never saw it. When did it happen?”

  “Right before I was sick. He didn’t want it to happen. I didn’t think it would happen. But it was Austin! His dad is pissed because dad’s his friend.”

  “What’re you gonna do?”

  The headrest was cushiony as I lay my head back. “Ry. I love Zach. Period. I don’t question that. I want to be his girlfriend and I want him to be my boyfriend. When I see myself getting married, he’s there. But why am I so drawn to Austin? I mean…I couldn’t will myself away from him. Knowing that Zach would be furious and I still…” my words tapered off.

  He shrugged. “Maybe it’s because you knew he was kind of off limits. I hear girls dig that sort of thing.”

  I took a long slow breath. “Maybe. We have so much fun. He makes me laugh.” I smiled as I thought about him frantically stomping on the spider.

  “I’ve heard of people falling in love with two people,” he added.

  I punched his arm cracking my fingers. “Let’s not go there.”

  He rubbed my shoulder closest to him and said no more.

  The air conditioning had to come on as we neared Ashland and the outdoor temperature read 87degrees. Welcome home. My eyes watched the road intently for a blue Jeep as Ryan maneuvered the streets home. I secretly prayed for the Jeep to be parked in front of the house as we turned the corner but no such luck.

  “Well…you’ve inherited a sweet ride. Are you sure this isn’t payment for something?” He gave me a sideways glance.

  I shot daggers back. “You are the second person to ask such a thing. NO!”

  He parked behind dad and chuckled.

  My phone was waiting for me with several messages, none of which were from Zach. I carried my luggage up to my room and fell across my bed. My collage of pictures shouted at me and I scanned the photos feeling sad. The Redwoods, Crescent City, San Francisco, Mt. Shasta. I traced the ring on my finger unwilling to take it off. I flew off my bed, took the stairs two at a time and grabbed my keys.

  “Mom. I’ll be back.”

  I didn’t wait for an answer and didn’t care if I was grounded. The Audi’s engine was still hot and ticking from the long drive. I slid in, adjusted the seat and took off.

  When I made the turn onto his street, my heart sank as the driveway was empty. I shot a U-turn and headed toward the school. Nothing.

  Think Emma. Saturday night…7:30…summer vacation. Crescent city? I drove slowly through downtown and swung by the city park. No Jeep. My cell phone vibrated in the seat where both of them sat. It was my old one. Ryan.

  “What?”

  “Find him?”

  “No. Why?”

  “I just finished my texts and Connor’s having a get together. I’m headin’ over. I’m guessin’ he’s there. Want to go?”

  Before he asked, I was doing another illegal turn and driving toward Con’s. Bingo! I parked around the corner and waited for Ryan, tapping crazily on the steering wheel. The entire gang’s cars were there. Jaycee’s too. Suddenly, Ryan’s lights flashed behind me and I met him at his hood.

  “Just walk in with me and act cool. Don’t start crying or yelling. And if he’s in a compromising position, I’ll walk you out. Then I’ll go beat the shit out of him.”

  Ryan’s steps were huge and I took two for every one of his. Music played as we approached the door. Ryan stepped in.

  “RY-AN!” Connor yelled and body slapped him.

  “What’s up?”

  “Holy shit. Look at Runt?” Connor exclaimed. “You’re freakin taller. And hotter.”

  “Watch it,” Ryan playfully punched him. “Hey, is Owens here?” Ryan spoke softly.

  Connor nodded his head to the side. “Yeah, he’s in the basement. What’s up?”

  “Runt needs to talk to him.”

  I smiled and moved toward the stairs. My pulse was going to burst a vein as the blood beat madly through my body. I now considered option four…catching the two of them together. This was by far the worst of all the options, and I hesitated at the top of the stairs before making my descent.

  My knees shook and I prayed they didn’t give out as I stepped. I heard Lil Wayne’s freaky voice echoing in the room. I hoped to be sneaky to make a quiet entrance so that I could observe. Within three seconds of my feet touching the basement floor, Brett swung me up and over his head. My gut landed hard on his shoulder and blood rushed to my head as his arms held tightly to my knees.

  “RUNT! Where’s your brother?”

  As he spun, Zach’s surprised eyes met mine from the foosball table.

  “Brett. Let me down.” I pounded on his back.

  Ryan was coming down the steps and Brett slid me off and they bumped fists. My back was to Zach, and I felt his eyes boring into me. Josh lunged toward me laughing.

  “No! Stop!” I shouted but before the words were out, I flew up again nearly hitting my head on the ceiling. I smiled and didn’t look toward Zach this time. Ryan said something and Josh laughed placing me gently back on the ground.

  I forced myself to turn toward the foosball table and Claire shot daggers at me as she moved to Josh’s side taking his hand. There Zach stood in my favorite orange T-shirt and khaki shorts both hands on the foosball handles. He and Brett were taking on Estelle and Jaycee. You can do this. I grinned as I saw the two guys high five after scoring a point. Jaycee’s blonde curly hair prevented me from seeing her face.

  Ryan nudged me in the back. “He may not be looking at you. But he’s waiting for you.”

  My forehead creased with worry lines. “How do you know?”

  �
��Because I’m a guy,” he winked.

  I wasn’t sure if my feet were welded to the ground because it took every once of willpower to take the steps toward him. He wasn’t going to make this easy.

  “Welcome back,” Josh said, concentrating on the game as I stood two feet away from the table.

  “How’s it goin, Josh?” I said softly.

  They scored again at the moment and he turned to me. “Great.” He held out his hand to be slapped so I did. “Zach and I are just kickin a little bitch ass!” He laughed.

  Jaycee’s face was hard. I walked behind Josh. Zach was close enough to touch and my hand trembled as I reached for his shirt. I tugged on it a couple of times and spoke. “May I talk to you for a sec?” I stood more behind him so I didn’t have to see her.

  His body didn’t turn but his neck twisted till his chin reached his shoulder. “Why?”

  “Please,” I whispered and the girls squealed loudly as they scored.

  “That’s not fair,” Josh complained. “He was distracted.”

  “Get rid of the distraction then,” Jaycee spat out hatefully.

  I stared at him not acknowledging her words.

  “Let me finish my game,” he said coldly and I nodded. Feeling like an idiot standing behind him, I walked with my shoulders back and head held high toward the stairs. Ryan, Conner and Brett were talking and Ryan gave me a thumbs up as I walked past. I pinched his back and started up the stairs passing Brett.

  The upstairs was quiet and I first sat on the sofa then moved to a chair so he didn’t think he’d have to sit next to me. After a few minutes, I stood leaning against a wall and waited. I felt sick as time ticked by and he didn’t come and the sounds coming from downstairs didn’t help. The music. The laughter. The screams of scoring. I smoothed over my eyebrows.

  Suddenly, I heard the clomping on the stairs and the cackling laughter growing closer. Jaycee and Clair rounded the corner and rolled their eyes.

  “Nope. Bummer. Still here,” Jaycee said glowering at me.

  Zach was only a few steps behind.

  “Welcome back,” he said flatly.

  “Thanks.”