Mom and Dad were both home on time and the boys were tossing the ball around when a FedEx truck stopped in front of our house. Dad met the driver as he hopped off the idling truck. They chatted and he handed my dad a box.
“Em.”
He motioned the box toward me.
I snatched it from his hands sliding my finger inside a piece of the tape. The smoke from the grill was thicker than usual making me rub my eyes.
“What’d ya get?” Zach asked taking a long swig from his bottle of water.
“Don’t know yet,” I said working the tape off and opening the small box.
“Burgers are done,” Dad shouted and mom handed him a plate.
After pulling open the last flap of cardboard, I unrolled the bubble wrap and found two tickets to the Las Vegas Motor Speedway race in September with two free passes onto the speedway and pit and courtesy drive around the track. My smile faded as my eyes shot up toward Zach then back to the tickets.
“What is it, baby?” he asked sweetly.
I shook my head and shoved them back in the box then passed Mom and Ali on the way indoors. Ali was carrying hamburger buns and Mom had plates, napkins and silverware.
“I’ll be back,” I muttered quickly.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Mom asked as I rounded the corner and took the stairs.
I was nearly hyperventilating when I got to my room. As much as I loved Zach, I missed Austin and I was angry with him. He hadn’t called or texted and now this.
Zach stepped through my doorway. “What’d he send you?”
“Who?” I don’t know why I even asked.
He pursed his lips and took two short strides to me. I handed him the box and he studied the tickets. “Wow, passes to the pit. Sweet. Part of the list?”
I nodded.
He dropped the tickets on my bed and hugged me. His shirt was damp with sweat.
“So…he is gonna fight.” His words weren’t a question but a statement and I didn’t answer. “I’ll fight back, Em.”
“Zach. He’s just finishing what we said we’d do. I don’t think it means anything.”
“He thinks you’re gonna take off and go to Vegas with him? Stay in a hotel with him? Fuck him?”
I swear he literally growled as he spoke the last two words.
“I’m sure his thought would be that we’d fly down and back in one day. No scrogging!” I teased trying to lighten the mood.
“We? Do you want to go?”
“No. But…” I released a frustrated breath. “Don’t get mad at me. ‘K?”
He sat on the corner of my bed. “I won’t get angry as long as we’re talking.” I saw the unnecessary questions in his eyes.
“This is really hard. Austin is my friend. We’ve been friends forever and I don’t want to ruin that.”
He nodded once. “I know,” he said with a low strained voice. “For the record, I’d prefer you not go. Unless he allows me to tag along. So, what’re you gonna do?”
“I don’t know.”
He kissed my lips. “You’re a smart girl. You’ll figure it out.”
Ali and Zach had gone home and I showered to wash the smoke smell away. As I was brushing through my wet hair, my phone buzzed. Austin. I somehow expected this phone call weeks ago.
“Hi,” I answered softly.
“How are you?”
“I’m great. Zach and I have worked things out,” I said spitefully establishing the fact right off.
He paused but I heard the chuckle. “Good. Good. That’s how it should be.” His voice was soft.
I wondered if he meant it. “Why’d you bail?” I asked.
“Business trip.”
“Bullshit.”
“Em…silly rabbit…Trix are for kids.”
“I am a kid, remember.”
He softly chuckled. “Yes, indeed you are.”
I quietly pouted.
“I was kidding,” he said. “Kind of.”
“Why’d you bail?” I repeated.
“It was for the best.”
“We had things we were supposed to do. Things we promised,” I reminded him.
“Did you get the tickets?”
I sighed. “Yes. Why’d you do that?
“Did it cause problems?”
“I’m done answering your questions because you don’t answer mine.”
“And what do you want to know?”
Too much. I knew enough not to be having this conversation. “Why’d you bail?” I asked for the third time. He didn’t respond right away and I waited twisting my hair around my finger.
“Emma. Things were getting a little out of hand. My father encouraged me to go and I thought it was the best option.”
“You didn’t even call. No goodbye. Nothing.”
“It made it easier didn’t it?”
It hurt talking to him. I missed him. “So why the tickets then? A friendly reminder?”
“I wish we could do this in person.”
“NO!” I shouted panicked. I wouldn’t put it past him to hop a flight down here. “That’s not a good idea.” It wasn’t either. Seeing Austin. Being near him. Never before had it been an issue, but it was now. As much as I loved Zach there was definitely an undeniable attraction on my part. One that I obviously couldn’t fight. I was disgusted with myself. How would I ever marry someone when being faithful was this difficult?
I heard a deep mischievous laugh. “Why?”
I didn’t answer.
“Would…me…calling…start a fight?”
God, would it ever. “I’m the one asking the questions here.” I didn’t want to answer that one.
“Ask away, my love.”
“My love?” I asked sarcastically.
“My apologies. Ask away, my friend.”
My head was whirling and thoughts bounced in my head. “Austin. I can’t do this. I feel like I’m going crazy some days.”
He cleared his throat. “You’re not going crazy…you’re just cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.”
I ground my teeth. “What is up with you’re friggin’ obsession with cereal right now?”
He laughed out loud. “Just trying to make you smile. I love your smile and it’s missing from your voice right now.”
Tears burned in my eyes as I chewed on my cheek.
“Em. I have a week before I have to be in Eugene. Why don’t I…”
“No, please.” Things were way too tense. Keep it light. “Look, Count Chocula.” I heard him chuckle. “I think you should stay put with your Life and I’ll deal with my…Cinnamon Life here?”
He clapped. “Bravo on the cereal front. Now, tell me why you won’t see me?”
“I can’t,” I whispered.
“A promise to someone?”
I hesitated. “To myself.”
“Very well. Then we keep a two to six hour barrier between us at all times. Deal?”
I didn’t like the deal but knew it was for the best and remained quiet.
“You know, we could always just keep our relationship to phone sex only,” he laughed as the words came out.
“Austin!” Suddenly my mind manufactured inappropriate sexual fantasies and my upper teeth pressed into my bottom lip as my body responded to the thoughts. My brain told me to disconnect the call.
“I better go.” His tone turned serious. “Have a great school year. Good luck with state.”
My face crumpled. “We can’t talk?”
“Em. Do you seriously think Franken Berry wants Count Chocula talking to Boo Berry?”
The answer was clear. No, he didn’t. “No.” I wondered if heard me.
“We’ll see what happens, OK.”
“Thanks for calling.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
I curled up under my comforter, my finger delicately tracing over the raised letters on the tickets. I so wanted to go with him to Vegas and make sure he drove that car. He loved fast cars and this was his first addition to our list. He
deserved it. But, I couldn’t. I knew I couldn’t and I wouldn’t. But more importantly and more depressing, I knew I could never see Austin Falsone again.
Chapter 35—U of O
Mom and Dad, Zach’s parents and Grant’s parents rented a small U-haul to load and haul up to Eugene. The boys followed behind in their trucks and Zach and I in the Jeep. The temperature was still in the upper eighties and thankfully, Eugene would be a little cooler when unloading. Moving day was here and the guys were all excited…even Zach. And as much as I hated it, he was only two hours away versus the eight he could have been or worse.
“Thank you,” I said staring at him.
“For what?” he asked squeezing my hand that he held.
“Not moving away. For staying close.”
A warm smile spread across his face, and he brought my knuckles to his lips. “You’re welcome. Oregon’s not that bad.” He winked.
I smacked him in the chest then laid my hand on his thigh, slowly inching it further up.
“You know your parents are behind us,” he joked.
“Yes and yours are behind them. Kind of makes it fun.”
A deep laugh echoed through the Jeep. “Emma. What am I going to do with you?”
I lowered my head giggling in embarrassment. “I can’t believe I just said that.”
“My little tiger wants my package.” Zach joked sarcastically.
I shoved his shoulder and buried my face as his laughter made me laugh. “Zachary Dale!”
He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck rubbing one side with his thumb and the other side with his fingers.
“Don’t be embarrassed,” he consoled.
“Your package, huh? Not your junk?”
“Call it what you want baby, but preferably Emma’s junk,” he smiled.
The trip was fast. By the time we unloaded and returned the U-haul, the parents ordered pizza for dinner. Seth and his buddies from his duplex joined the get together. There seemed only one person missing from the equation and he lived on Greek row after pledging last year to the same fraternity as his father. I tried to block his image from my head.
I overheard Zach ask my dad if I could stay longer and he’d bring me home tonight. The verdict was still out while he conferred with my mom. My hopes were up.
His small room was coming together as we made the bed with sheets, blanket and his new comforter. I folded his clothes and aligned them neatly in his dresser. While he hung shelves, I hung clothes in the closet, smelling them as I went along. Proudly, I sat our picture upright on his nightstand, next to the lamp. The last thing he would see before bed. Then, I sat by him as he set his clock. 6:43pm.
“Emma?” My dad said from down the hall.
“In here, Daddy.”
By the time he rounded the corner; Zach had moved to the opposite end of the room and was getting books out of a box.
“Zach has offered to bring you back tonight. Do you want to stay a little while longer?”
“Yes.” I barked the word so violently that I was scared he’d change his mind.
He grinned. “Call me when you pull out of here so I know when to expect you, OK, Bug?”
“I promise.”
Zach closed the distance between he and my father and shook his hand. “Thank you, sir.”
“Drive safely, Zach.”
Once my dad was out of sight, I beat it to Zach throwing my anxious arms around his neck. He smiled tossing the books in the corner and smashing his lips to mine. He hesitated and reared back.
“It’s a beautiful night. I was thinking…we could walk down by the bookstore,” he suggested.
As hard as I tried, I couldn’t put my finger on the reason behind his hesitancy. We hadn’t been together in the two and a half weeks I’d been home. It had been nearly a month and a half since we’d been together in Cannon. School started for me in two days and he’d be here while I was in Ashland. He showed little to no interest in touching me and I feared it was my betrayal with Austin. I’d finally gotten the kisses I’d longed for but he wasn’t going any further. My eyes fell and he gently lifted his chin.
“What?” he asked.
Wording this would be a challenge. If I don’t word it right, I come off sounding like a slut. “Why?” I took a deep breath. “Why don’t you want to be with me?”
“Baby. You think I don’t want to be with you?” He asked with a confused tone.
But I was the one who was confused. “Yes.”
He sighed. “Oh, Em. How do you get things so wrong?”
“But…”
He pulled me to his lap. “I’ve been afraid to touch you. The last time I touched you…in Cannon, you wigged and freaked me out.” He gently touched my shoulder. “Rightfully so. I’m not blaming you. But I’m…” He seemed to be searching for the right word. “Nervous.”
His eyes frantically searched mine for approval. “Then, when I saw you with Austin at the dunes and you said that you wished we never would have…” His eyes closed. Those words I said back then had hurt him.
My shaking hand touched the mound of his chest. “I’m sorry for all of it,” I said.
His warm hand cupped over mine and squeezed it. His eyes seemed forever patient.
“I’m truly sorry for doing that to you and I’m even more sorry for keeping it from you.”
When his fingers covered my lips in an attempt to hush me, I kissed them and he smiled. If the instigating of our physical relationship was left to me, I wasn’t sure there would be one. That made me nervous. After kissing his fingers and then his palm—even touching it lightly with my tongue—which brought the corners of his mouth up, I pulled his hand inward to wrap around my neck. His fingers tangled in my hair before his hand stroked my cheek, over my lips and traced down to my neck. My lips parted when his finger located the strap of my tank and he lightly pushed it down my shoulder. Air caught in my lungs as his finger delicately moved across my chest to find the other strap. I swallowed trying to control my thoughts. Suddenly, he pecked my nose and stood. My eyes widened as his hand tilted my chin up. He winked and left the room. With my mouth open, I threw myself back on the bed. What just happened? My hand glided over my pelvis as it ached…for him.
Within moments he returned, shutting and locking the door, flipping on the lamp on the nightstand and turning off the overhead light. He noticed my sad eyes.
“Em?”
I threw my arms up. “I’m sorry,” I defended. “I thought you left.”
“Left? Are you nuts? You think I’m stronger than I am.” He jumped on the bed bouncing me up. “I checked to see if our folks left. I’m sorry.”
“You locked the door. Why if they’re gone?”
His eyes were wild with hunger. “I don’t want to be disturbed,” he smiled then crushed his lips to mine stealing the breath from my body. His lips separated and our tongues explored each others as if for the first time. And when he broke free and sipped at my skin all the way down to the base of my throat, a part-sob, part-whimper resonated from my throat.
A low chuckle came from him and I bit my lip. After tasting my belly button, he tugged at my tank. I arched my back as he worked it up, then his eyes found mine before he pulled it up and over my head. He continued to seek my approval and it grew harder to give it to him with a light on and clothes coming off. His finger glided over my ivory skin, which I was certain had a red tint given the force with which my blood pulsed through my veins.
“This is hard,” I whispered. He sprung up on his arms with a concerned look.
“What is?”
I rolled my eyes. “The light.”
He grinned and I smoothed over his brow as one lifted in question. “Would you rather it be off?”
I squirmed beneath him as I nodded, and he immediately switched the lamp off.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed. You are beautiful.”
His words alone made me feel more beautiful than I knew I was. He suddenly sat upright on the side o
f the bed and I sensed a problem. I sat my chin on his shoulder.
“What’s the matter?”
He twisted his neck till our lips met. “I’m an idiot. I forgot to bring condoms,” he sighed.
In the light from the window, I saw his hand drag down his face. I raised his arm and climbed on his lap straddling his waist. “Zach. I’m on the pill, remember?”
“Baby.” He inhaled a raspy breath. “You were worried about being pregnant last time. You’d worry again. I don’t want you going through that especially without me. In fact, I may double wrap it!” He finally smiled.
This time, my hands cradled his jaw and my lips found his in the dark. I treated his bottom lip to a soft brush with my tongue, then I kissed his cheekbone and migrated to his ear.
“Zach,” I whispered. “Please,” Suddenly I was the aggressor surprising myself and him. “I won’t worry.”
“Emmm.” He dragged out my name into a hum, like he always did when he knew I was winning but also knew it was wrong.
My extended kiss continued down his neck, and when I moved my hips on his lap, he grabbed me and shifted us around till my back was on the bed.
“Emma?” He tenderly kissed my lips. “Are you sure?”
My body’s response was to quiver and he chuckled. “Very,” I softly said and gasped as his hands went to work.
“Emma Nichole Hendricks,” he panted as he rested at my side.
My eyes popped open when he addressed me so formally. “Yes?”
He kissed my forehead, my nose and then my mouth. “That. Was. Incredible.”
I laid my head on his chest as he fingered through my hair. “Shut-up.” My head moved up and down with each of his breaths. “I told you I needed to learn.”
He shoved me up to where he could see my face. His brow furrowed. “Em.” This time my name was short and direct. It was amazing what he could do with two letters. “I’m going to say this once. You are perfect. I would change nothing and that was unlike anything I’ve ever physically experienced.”
“Do you mean without the protection?”
Finally...One Summer (Just One of the Guys) Page 24
