That Old Witch!: The Coffee Coven's Cozy Capers: Book 1

by M. Z. Andrews

  “That he was thinking about leaving Gloria?” asked Elizabeth. She nodded. “Yes, I know he’d confided in a woman on his route. She found out somehow, and they’d been trying to figure out how he could tell her without hurting her. Ruben doesn’t want to hurt her. It’s his main concern.”

  “Was the woman he told Katherine Lynde?” asked Gwyn.

  Elizabeth nodded. “Yes! Lynde, that was her last name. But I think he called her Kat. Do you know her?”

  Char sighed. “Yes, we knew her. She passed away several weeks ago.”

  Elizabeth frowned. “Yes, I’d heard that. Ruben and Kat were very close. He was pretty shaken over her death. Not only did he lose her friendship, but he was the one that found her, you know.”

  “Yes, dear, we know,” said Phyllis. “Well, we better get back to our, umm, walk. We just wanted to make sure that you were alright.”

  Elizabeth smiled at them. “You ladies sure are sweet to check on me.” She pointed at Char’s face. “Next time you go for a night walk, though, it’s probably not a very good idea to dress so…umm, darkly. I think you’re supposed to wear flashy colors so cars can see you.”

  Phyllis shrugged as she took the concrete step to the sidewalk. “We just didn’t want the murderer to see us.”

  Elizabeth gave them a soft smile. “Good idea. If you have some time, maybe you could check on Gamgam?”

  “I’ll stop in tomorrow,” promised Char.

  “Please don’t tell her about Ruben and me. She’d be horrified to find out that I had a relationship with a married man,” begged Elizabeth.

  Gwyn swallowed hard. “It’s probably best you convince Ruben to come clean to his wife, sweetheart. Secrets don’t make friends in small towns.”

  Elizabeth’s eyes widened. “Oh, don’t I know it! I’ll work on him. Thanks for the tip.”

  “Good evening, dear,” said Char with a little wave as she headed back towards the tree where they’d stashed their broomsticks.

  “Good night!” Elizabeth called out before going back inside.

  Phyllis sighed as the three of them met under the tree. “Well, there goes that suspect. Ruben Moreno isn’t a killer. He’s a cad!”

  “Now what, girls?” asked Char.

  “Your guess is as good as mine. We’re out of leads,” said Phyllis.

  “I know what’s next,” said Gwyn. “We go back to Kat’s and hope that Loni and Mom are there waiting for us!”

  Loni felt Hazel’s face grind into her back as the duo zipped through the night sky towards the ground. The wind whipped the scarf she wore so that it beat at her cheeks and covered her glasses, impaling her vision.

  “Stop wiping your nose on my back,” she hollered over her shoulder.

  “I can’t help it! I feel like a five-year-old with a cold!”

  Loni took one hand off her stick and tried to move the scarf so she could see, but the brisk air moved it right back into her line of sight. In the darkness, it was difficult to see anyway. They’d cruised past the same area twice, looking for the hat Phyllis had knocked off her head. By now she was sure the girls had already left without them in their quest to follow Ruben to his job.

  “We’re never going to find that stupid hat,” said Hazel, ducking behind Loni’s back. “We should just go home. I’m cold.”

  “I’m cold too,” agreed Loni. “We’ll head home in a few minutes. That hat has to be down here somewhere. It couldn’t have just disappeared.”

  “It fell from a few hundred yards, the wind probably carried it halfway across Aspen Falls by now,” said Hazel. “Come on.”

  “I want my hat back!” said Loni adamantly. “It’s an heirloom. My great-great-great-great-great-grandmother gave me that hat.”

  “It’s only an heirloom if that great-grandmother of yours had a Walmart back in her day. I saw the tag on it. I’m more of an heirloom than that hat!”

  Loni frowned. She didn’t care that it wasn’t an heirloom. It was still her hat, and she wanted it back. How dare Phyllis Habernackle! She was going to make her buy her a new hat if she couldn’t find her old one. Skimming the tops of the trees, Loni looked down at the ground.

  “I think we’re too far away, that’s the problem. It’s dark, and we’re too far off the ground. I’m going to fly closer to get a better look.”

  “Drop me off at The Village, then. You can spend the rest of the night looking for your stupid hat for all I care. It’s past my bedtime.”

  Loni descended and did her best to weave through a grove of trees, while looking over the edge of her broomstick towards the ground. “Ugh, just let me look down in that little valley, I thought I saw something, there’s… AHHHHHH!”

  She felt branches clawing at her face, scratching her skin, and stealing her glasses from her as they became entangled in the branches of a tree, slowly bringing them to a halt. The broomstick attempted to surge forward but was firmly held in place.

  “I can’t see!” The back of the broomstick tilted down towards the ground, unable to hold both of their weight.

  “Ahhh!” screamed Hazel. “Abort mission, abort mission, abort!”

  Loni tried to pull up on the front of her broomstick, but it was stuck in the branches, and she felt the powers of the stick being disabled. Without her glasses, the world around her was completely black and now completely fuzzy. Loni could see nothing.

  “I’m trying! But I can’t see!”

  And then, she felt Hazel’s grasp on her waist loosening. Gravity began to tug at the old woman and then Loni heard her scream in her ear. “Ahhhh! Heeeeeeelp!!”

  Where Hazel had once been warm on her back, Loni now felt a cool breeze in its place, and Hazel’s voice had faded away in the distance.

  “Hazel? You back there?” she asked, suspended blindly in the tree branches.

  No one answered.

  “Hazel?!”

  But the world was silent around her.

  “Haze!” she hollered even louder. What was she going to do? Gwyn was going to kill her if she lost Hazel. “Damnit, I gotta get out of this stupid tree!” She kicked her feet and felt the branches clawing at her limbs.

  Time to break out the magic, Yolanda, she thought to herself. She rubbed her hands together, then blew in them to warm them and loosen her cold joints. Then she held them out in front of her as the tree suspended her above the ground. She closed her eyes and summoned as much energy from the tree as she could. She felt it gathering between her hands. She felt her body becoming a receptacle for nature’s graces. Slowly, she opened her eyes and saw the glowing orange ball of the force of nature in her hands.

  With one giant flourish, she cast the ball down towards the ground. When it hit the grass, it fired back up at her in a stream of light. Slowly, she maneuvered her body onto the stream until she could feel herself being levitated by the current. By moving her palms parallel to the ground, she could feel herself being carried out of the tree. “It’s working!” she cheered. It had been years since she’d had to levitate herself in such an awkward way.

  When she could no longer feel the branches touching her arms and legs, she slowly lessened the amount of energy she fired at the ground, and inch by inch it lowered her closer to the grass until finally, she could feel her feet on the ground. She’d done it!

  “Hazel, I did it!” she cheered excitedly. “Hazel?”

  But she couldn’t hear Hazel, and she certainly couldn’t see Hazel. Not without her glasses. Without her glasses she was blind. Without her glasses and in the dark, she was completely helpless. She got down on her hands and knees and began to feel around the grass, searching for her glasses. Her gown kept catching between her knees and the ground, tripping her up. She put a hand to her head, and that was when it hit her that her scarf was gone! She had no scarf and no glasses. Her face was more exposed to the world than it had been in decades! She’d not left her house without a costume since…well, since then.

  Her heart lurched into her throat. What if someone saw her
? She couldn’t be seen out in public without a scarf. But she couldn’t go anywhere because she didn’t have her glasses and she couldn’t see where she was going. Panic began to overwhelm her. She pictured FBI agents surrounding her. She was sure there was a sniper on a house over her head. Did she have one of those little red glowing dots on her forehead?

  “Hazel?” she asked weakly, her voice trembling along with her hands. “Hazel, I don’t know where you are, but we have to get out of here. It isn’t safe.”

  She continued to feel around on the grass. Then she stopped what she was doing and took a deep breath, trying to center herself. She rocked backwards until she was sitting pretzel-style. With her eyes closed, she put her hands out on either side of her, her palms facing upwards towards the heavens.

  Mother Nature heed my call

  You took my glasses in the fall

  Give them back and let me see

  The way back home will comfort me.

  Loni felt the air shift around her.

  She chanted again…

  Mother Nature heed my call

  You took my glasses in the fall

  Give them back and let me see

  The way back home will comfort me.

  Her hair began to whip around her head. And then suddenly, she felt something touch her hand. She felt around the grass and immediately felt the familiar touch of her thick glasses. She let out a breath of relief.

  “Thank you!” she shouted into the night sky.

  With her glasses on, Loni could still see nothing around her. It was much too dark for that, but she did stand up.

  “Hazel?” she asked trepidatiously, scared to yell too loudly. What if they heard her? She wasn’t safe here. “Hazel, we really need to go.”

  No answer. She knew in her heart that Hazel knew the way home. She was a tough old bird. And she had magic. She’d figure out her way home. Loni looked around her and then slipped back behind a tree. She’d find her way home without Hazel.

  33

  Gwyn paced the length of Kat’s covered porch, waiting for Loni and her mother to return home after their late-night fly. The hour they’d been waiting seemed to drag on, making Gwyn progressively uneasy. They’d already taken the black gowns off and removed the shoe polish from their faces. Now all they had to do was wait for the other two to return, but Gwyn could sense in her bones that something had gone terribly wrong.

  “We should be out there looking for them,” said Gwyn as she rubbed her arms to stifle the goose bumps threatening to pebble them.

  Char shook her head and leaned back in the small iron chair. “It would be a waste of our time. Those girls could be anywhere.”

  “Like in the hospital,” said Gwyn. She stopped pacing, then swiveled on her heel and started for the house.

  “Where are you going?” asked Phyllis.

  “To get my car keys from the house. I’m going to go check the hospital.”

  “Someone would have called you by now if they were in the hospital. Knowing Loni, she probably took your mom out for a late-night joy ride over the mountains or something.”

  Gwyn’s eyes widened as she felt a lump form in the back of her throat. “Oh, great, now I’ll picture them being stranded in the wilderness with a pack of wild boars breathing down their necks!”

  Char smiled at her. “You’re being ridiculous, Gwyn. There are no wild boars in the Appalachian Mountains.”

  Gwyn crossed her arms across her chest. “Shows what you know. I heard a story on National Public Radio on the drive here from Arizona. There are indeed wild boars on the Appalachian Trail.”

  “Well, that passes through the eastern side of the state. We’re not even close to the Appalachian Trail. Besides, don’t wild boars eat like nuts and wild berries? What would boars want with a couple of bony old women? There isn’t even enough meat between the two of them for a boar’s midnight snack.”

  “I didn’t say the boars wanted to eat them! Oh my goodness, Char, are you trying to freak me out?!”

  “I’m just saying, I’m sure your mother and Loni are just fine. Quit worrying!”

  Gwyn felt her lungs constrict, making her unable to inhale a deep breath. Something was seriously wrong. She could feel it. “Maybe we should call the police,” said Gwyn, rubbing her wrists. “They’ve been missing for over an hour.”

  Phyllis stood up and walked across the porch to put both of her hands on Gwyn’s shoulders. “Take a deep breath, Gwyn. Listen to yourself. They’ve been missing for an hour. Not a couple of hours. Not a day. Not a week. They’ve been missing for an hour.”

  Char nodded. “Phil’s right. The police wouldn’t even take you seriously if you called them. I don’t even think you can call someone missing if they’ve been gone for an hour. Knowing your mother, she probably conned Lon into stopping off at the all-night diner for French fries or something.”

  Phyllis tried to smile. “Or maybe she had to use the restroom again. That’s probably what happened.”

  Gwyn forced herself to nod. Maybe her friends were right. Maybe everything was just fine. She shook out her hands and rolled her shoulders. “Okay,” she said, more to herself than the girls. “I’ll try to let it go. Loni’s an adult. She can watch out for my mother, right?”

  Phyllis hugged her. “Exactly. Plus Hazel isn’t a child, Gwyn. She can take care of herself. They’ll both be fine. Come on. Sit down with us and enjoy the beautiful evening.” Phyllis took a seat next to Char at the little settee.

  Gwyn walked around the two of them and scooted herself up onto the white porch swing on the far corner of the porch. “It is a nice evening,” she said, trying to convince herself everything was alright.

  “And we got some new information,” said Char. “We know Ruben isn’t the killer.”

  “Yeah, we know that, but now that puts us back to square one!” complained Phyllis.

  “We’ve got that piece of vinyl,” said Gwyn.

  Phyllis harrumphed. “Some clue. We have no idea what it came from. How are we supposed to use it to find the killer?”

  Suddenly, they heard a rustling on the side of the house. “Girls, did you hear that?” asked Char, getting to her feet.

  Phyllis stood up next and held her hands out, palms flat in front of her to zap whatever came her way. “Yes, I did. Who’s there?” she hollered into the night.

  Gwyn hopped up next, praying it was her mother and Loni. Perhaps they’d flown in and landed in the backyard. “Mom?” she called out, rushing to the edge of the porch steps.

  “It’s me,” said Loni, hobbling towards them. Her dress was torn in several places, her glasses were crooked, she walked with a limp, and not only did she not have her hat, but she also didn’t have Hazel with her.

  “Loni!” said Phyllis. “It’s about time! Where have you been?”

  “Where’s Mom?” asked Gwyn as she ran down the stairs and started around the side of the house towards the backyard. “Did she go in through the back?”

  “Gwyn, wait!” Loni hollered at her. “She’s not in the house.”

  Gwyn walked back around to look at Loni curiously. “Why do you look like that? Where’s Mom?”

  Loni’s eyes darted around the neighborhood. “We’ll talk about it inside. Not out here. Come on,” she said and pulled Gwyn’s elbow towards the house.

  Gwyn felt her dander starting to spring up. Something was indeed wrong. “No, we’ll talk about it out here! Where’s my mother?”

  Loni shook her head and ignored Gwyn. She hobbled up the stairs with a very pronounced limp.

  “What’s with the limp?” asked Char as she followed Loni inside the house.

  “We had broomstick problems,” she said to the group once she’d pulled the drapes in the parlor and shut the front door.

  “Broomstick problems? What kind of problems?” asked Char. “Mechanical difficulties?”

  “Ha-ha, very funny,” said Loni.

  “More like user error, I’m sure,” snapped Phyllis.


  Loni frowned at the group. “We ran into a tree crossing, I’ll have you know.”

  “A tree crossing?” asked Phyllis. “What’s a tree crossing?”

  “A tree crossed in front of us,” said Loni indignantly. “It wasn’t my fault. It just popped up out of nowhere.”

  “Trees don’t just pop up out of nowhere, Loni,” snapped Gwyn. She was starting to get the picture. Loni hadn’t been paying attention to where she was going, and she’d crashed the broomstick. “Where is my mother? Is she hurt? Is she alright? Did you leave her somewhere safe for us to go pick her up?”

  Loni took off her glasses and held them up to the light so she could bend them back into the correct shape. Once she’d put them back on her face, she looked at Gwyn. Her big eyes blinked matter-of-factly. “Well. Here’s the thing. Once we got tangled up in the tree, Hazel sort of disappeared.”

  “Disappeared? How?!”

  Loni threw her hands out on either side. “I don’t know. One minute she was there, one minute she was falling out of the tree.”

  Gwyn’s jaw dropped, and she felt her limbs go numb. “My mother fell out of a tree?”

  Loni shrugged as she took a seat on the nearest chair. “I guess. I couldn’t see anything. I lost my glasses in the fall. That damn veil was in my eyes. It was dark. I was blind. One minute Hazel was behind me, and the next minute she was gone.”

  Blood began to rush to Gwyn’s cheeks. “Loni. Where is my mother?”

  “I don’t know,” she sighed. “I looked for her…”

  “But you just left her?”

  “I couldn’t find her!” argued Loni.

  Gwyn ran for her purse. “She could be hurt. You need to take us to where you last saw her.”

  Loni’s magnified eyes blinked behind her lenses. “I have no idea where that was…”

  “You don’t know where you came from?” demanded Gwyn.

  Loni’s mouth opened, but for once the woman seemed speechless, “I—uh…”

  Phyllis and Char, who had remained mum thus far, let out sighs. Char spoke first. “Loni. Take a deep breath. You’re shaken up. One thing at a time. Are you hurt?”