The Eastwood Series

by M. E. Clayton

  “Because they were before you,” I answered, even though I knew my reasoning wasn’t good enough. But I still had to try. “Because, even if they know what it’s like to be fucked by me, they have no idea what it feels like to be loved by me.” I didn’t care if I was showing my hand. I was losing her, and I couldn’t let that happen. “And because I’ve never fucked a girl who I was in love with, you’d be my first and only. I don’t know what that feels like, Charlie,” I told her. “I don’t know what it feels like when Samson lays with Mackenzie or when Ford lays with Amelia. And no girl in this school knows what it’s like to feel that with me, Charlie. No girl.”

  She started trying to pull away from me. “Let me go, Raiden.”

  I didn’t. I had to keep going or I’d lose her. “No.”

  Charlie pushed at me with all her might, and when she screamed up at me with tears in her eyes to let her go, I did.

  I did because her pain did what her rage couldn’t.

  It weakened me.

  Chapter 7

  Charlie~

  My birthday dinner had been perfect. With just me, my parents, Aunt Julie, Mack, and Amelia in attendance, it had been understated but perfectly personal.

  My parents had gotten me a beautiful sapphire ring that fit perfectly on my ring finger. It was a sparkly band with small alternating sapphires and diamonds. I wasn’t a big jewelry person because jewelry didn’t fit in with soccer well, but I could always wear it on special occasions. I had slipped it on my ring finger with the promise to take it off Sunday night before we headed back to school from Thanksgiving break.

  Mackenzie and Aunt Julie had bought me a new Kindle, and the thought had warmed my heart. Mack knew I hated to delete any of my books, and I had mentioned how I’d been getting messages that my device was running out of space. For Mack to remember that and tell Aunt Julie meant a lot.

  Amelia had surprised me with a lanyard that matched Alistair’s key chain. I laughed when I saw it and I should have known. Knowing how I felt about celebrating my birthday, they always ignored me, but still made sure to respect my decision enough not to go overboard with the presents.

  Everything had been perfect

  But then, in a surprise twist, Mackenzie had presented me with a box that looked like it had been professionally wrapped. When I had asked her what it was, she had smiled and said that it was from the guys. My first instinct had been to give it back to her with the message that, while I appreciate it, there was no need. But then, I remembered my promise to Duke to try to be friends, and how he seemed genuinely upset when I had told him he wasn’t invited to my birthday dinner.

  When I had opened the box, I was surprised to find the cluster of thoughtful gifts. Every gift had a note attached to it with who it was from. Samson had gotten me two tickets to go see the L.A. Galaxy at home. Ford had gotten me a sports gift basket, with muscle cream and everything. Duke had gotten me a blue glow-in-the-dark soccer ball and matching hoodie. And-I couldn’t lie-when I pulled out a football jersey with Raiden’s number on it, my heart had warmed while my eyes had watered a bit. It was obviously new, but a small part of me had wished it hadn’t been.

  Despite my birthday and Thanksgiving being wonderful days, Raiden’s claims in the Science study room had been burning in the back of my mind like an iron left on, ready to burn the entire house down. He hadn’t said the words ‘I love you’, but they were implied when he said I’d be the only girl he’s ever been with that he cared about. But there was more here than just the other girls. His hot and cold had still yet to be explained, and with his history, a girl would have to be stupid not to see that shit as a red flag.

  A part of me wished I was confident enough to run out and lose my virginity to J.C. just to prove a point, but I didn’t want to use J.C. like that. He’s been nothing but nice to me and only a horrible person would put him in the path of Raiden Cruz for revenge. Hell, and it’s not even revenge. A point I hated to concede on was that Raiden had been single-hell, he still was. He had been doing nothing wrong when sleeping with all those girls. He had done what most teenage boys did when a girl offered herself to them. And not that I was guarding my virtue like an 18th-century maiden, but it just didn’t seem like he deserved it. Not when he had so easily dismissed me the week after Brayden had pulled his bullshit stunt on me.

  Maybe that was the answer. Maybe I should just go out and have a one-night stand before hearing Raiden out. That way, if it did turn out to be just one big game for him, at least he won’t be the guy I gave my virginity to. That’s the one guy girls never forget. I want to be able to forget Raiden Cruz if he was just playing me.

  And that was how I went from getting ready to head over to Samson and Duke’s for a small get-together to dressing for some penis.

  After shooting Mackenzie a text that I’ve made a change of plans, I changed my jeans and t-shirt for a light blue mid-thigh flowy skirt and a thin-strapped white tank top. I threw on some white sandals that wrapped around my ankles and threw my hair up in a messy bun. My makeup was at minimal, but that was because I didn’t want to look like a morning-after victim.

  I was throwing the necessities in my purse, noting to buy condoms on the way to wherever I needed to go to find penis, when my phone rang. Seeing it was Mackenzie, I swiped the answer icon. “What’s up?”

  “What do you mean, you have other plans?” she asked, getting right to the point.

  I chuckled. “I’ve made other plans, Mackenzie,” I drawled out.

  I could hear her shuffling around. “But…everyone’s here,” she replied. “Even Alistair is here.”

  “It’s Saturday night,” I reminded her. “I’m sure there are other parties going on.”

  Mackenzie was quiet for a second, but then she said, “I thought you promised Duke you wouldn’t party alone anymore.”

  My stomach dipped at her words, but I ignored the feeling. “I don’t plan on drinking, Mack,” I told her. “I’m just…” I trailed off because there was no sweet way to say what I had planned.

  “If you don’t plan on drinking, why would you-oh, God,” she rushed out. “Charlie, no. No, no, no. Please don’t tell me you’re thinking about what I think you’re thinking about doing.”

  My stomach was now rolling, but I was determined to see this through. “Well, that depends on what you think it is I’m thinking of doing.”

  I heard some movement and a door shut before Mackenzie breathed into the phone, “Charlie, Raiden will kill J.C. if you sleep with him.”

  “Raiden had no room to talk,” I snipped out tartly. “Besides, my virginity is not his business.”

  “It is if he’s going to kill someone over it,” she tossed back.

  I didn’t want to upset Mackenzie, and I also wasn’t blind to how reckless I was being, but I felt like my feelings for Raiden Cruz were spinning out of control and I wanted some of that control back. And one way to do that was to make a conscious choice about whom to give my virginity to.

  “Don’t worry, Mack,” I said, trying to calm her. “I’m not going to sleep with J.C.”

  She didn’t sound convinced. “You’re not?”

  “Nope,” I said, popping the ‘p’. “I’m probably going to drive over to Ridgeview and get it over with. This way no one has to every know who it was. Including Raiden.”

  “What?” she hissed into the phone. “Have you lost your mind, Charlie?”

  “No, I haven’t,” I snapped back, even though I was pretty sure I had. “I…it’s not a big deal.”

  “Charlie, after what happened, how could you consider even hanging out in Ridgeview, much less handing over your virginity to one of those bastards?”

  “Not every guy in Ridgeview is a bastard, Mack,” I countered. “And you still talk to Shondra and Ella.”

  “Are…are you serious, Charlie?” she sputtered. “That’s not the same.” I could hear her taking deep breaths. “Why are you doing this?”

  “Because Raiden Cruz doesn’t get to h
ave his cake and eat it too,” I spat.

  “What does that even mean?”

  “He doesn’t get to fuck every girl at Eastwood, and then get me all to himself,” I hissed, clearly losing the battle with my feelings for Raiden. “He doesn’t deserve my everything.”

  “Why?” she asked, her voice rough and upset. “Why, Charlie? What did he do to you that was so awful, you’d do this?”

  “He…he…” I couldn’t form an answer. I couldn’t form an answer because I wasn’t sure I had one that would make sense to her.

  “He, what?”

  I let out a deep sigh because I no longer wanted to argue with her. “It doesn’t matter, Mack. But I’ll make you a deal,” I offered. “I won’t go to Ridgeview.”

  “But you’re still going to go…somewhere to find a random hookup?” I heard some noise in the background, but I was too upset to pay it any mind.

  “Yep,” I answered. “I’m going to fight fire with fire. And let’s see if Raiden wants me after others have had me.”

  “Others? Are you insane?”

  “Mackenzie, I don’t want to argue with you.”

  “Just listen to me, okay?” she pleaded. “Just…take a minute and let’s talk about this.”

  I knew she was just worried about me and didn’t want me to make a mistake I couldn’t come back from, so I said, “Okay, you have ten minutes.”

  “Fifteen,” she negotiated.

  I chuckled. “Okay. I’ll give you fifteen, but not a minute longer.” Then I sighed into the phone. “You’re not going to be able to change my mind, Mack.”

  “Just fifteen minutes is all I need,” she promised.

  It wasn’t until my dad was calling me from the living room, telling me that I had a guest, that I discovered why Mackenzie needed only those fifteen minutes.

  Chapter 8

  Raiden~

  I was pretty sure I’ve never been so furious in all my life, and that was saying something considering I almost beat a guy to death a few months ago.

  When Mackenzie had walked out of the den, talking loud enough for everyone to hear, madness had started creeping up my spine as I had begun to make sense of her one-sided conversation. Basically, Charlie had canceled plans to join us at Samson’s, so she could go toss her virginity at the first motherfucker to look her way. Fury had taken a hold of my throat and it had been a miracle I hadn’t killed myself or anyone else on my way to Charlie’s house.

  When she had walked into her living room, the phone still pressed to her ear, and saw that I had been the guest in question, her face had turned red, and she had hung up on Mackenzie without so much as a goodbye.

  I had also lied to her parents and told them I was picking Charlie up to take her to Samson’s because she told me her car was making some strange noises. Mr. Harden had immediately said he’d take a look at her car and was grateful I was looking out for Charlie. His words had caused some residual guilt because I couldn’t believe he still trusted me with his daughter after Brayden had gotten a hold of her, but I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

  And because I had lied so spectacularly, Charlie couldn’t announce the truth without dragging her parents into our drama. Plus, she couldn’t very well tell them her real plans, so I got Charlie Harden in my car and I drove us back to Samson’s where she had gotten out of my car without a word. I watched from the driver’s seat as she made her way up the path and disappeared in the front door. I stayed in the car, though, because I was still pissed, and I needed a moment to collect my violent thoughts.

  Was she really so mad at me that she wanted to sleep with a random stranger for payback? I knew I was going to have to explain my hot and cold to her, but even when I did, that wouldn’t guarantee shit. Even if Charlie believed my explanation about avoiding her after the day in the clearing, there was still my past we’d have to deal with, and she didn’t seem incline to try to see beyond what I had done before I started to care for her.

  I finally got out of the car and headed into the house. Everyone had been hanging out in the game room earlier, and I suspected they’d still be in there. When I entered the house, I made my way to the game room and, sure enough, they were all still in there. The only difference was that Mackenzie looked remorseful, and I knew she felt bad about ratting her cousin out, but I couldn’t thank her enough. Even without the dynamic going back and forth between me and Charlie, what she had planned was dangerous. There’s no way Mackenzie wouldn’t have stepped in no matter what.

  Another difference?

  Before Mackenzie had come out of the den with Charlie on the phone, the get-together had been happy times. It’s something we’ve done a million times since the beginning of the year, so there was no awkwardness.

  Now, though, there was awkwardness with a pissed off Charlie sitting in one of the chairs next to the pool table, away from everyone else. I knew she was upset with Mackenzie, but it was me she was really pissed at.

  Fuck it.

  “Okay,” I threw out. “Let’s get this shit over with.” No one said a word, but all eyes flew in Charlie’s direction.

  She lifted her chin. “Here?” she challenged. “Because I have no problem doing this in front of everyone.”

  My eyes stayed on hers, ignoring everyone else. “I have no problem laying all my shit bare, Charlie,” I told her. “But are you sure you’re ready to have this discussion in front of Ford, Duke, and Samson?”

  She huffed. “I don’t see why I’m even obligated to have a conversation with you at all, Raiden,” she retorted. “You aren’t-”

  She had been about to say I wasn’t her boyfriend and I lost my ever lovin’ shit. “Finish that sentence and I won’t be responsible for what the fuck I do to you, Charlie,” I snapped. Her eyes narrowed and I knew she was gearing up for a fight, but then, so was I. “Now get your fucking ass over here, so we can talk.”

  A perfectly sculpted brow lifted in defiance. “Be careful who you talk to like that, Raiden.”

  “Oh, yeah?” I was done playing fucking games with her. I stalked over towards her and threw her over my shoulder like I’ve done countless times already. Luckily, I was mindful of the short fucking skirt she had on and I made sure to anchor my arm around the hem, so she didn’t flash the entire room. If she had plans to troll for dick, who knows what she had on underneath her skirt. She was also cursing me to hell and back as she beat on my back. However, she should know by now that she wasn’t strong enough to win with this.

  I made it all the way up the stairs and hit second guest room to the left of the hallway. Ford and I have crashed here more times than I could count, it was practically my room. When I walked us inside, I put Charlie on her feet and shut the door behind me.

  I also locked it.

  We weren’t leaving this room until shit was settled between us or one of us was dead.

  “Why do you keep acting like you can treat me however you want?” Charlie seethed. “I am not your girlfriend, Raiden. Hell, we’re not even friends.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest to keep myself from strangling her to death. “Yeah, let’s talk about that, shall we?”

  Charlie ran her hands down her face as she let out a dark laugh, and that’s when I saw it. My good intentions of not strangling her out the window, I had her arms in my grip, ready to shake the shit out of her. “Where did you get that ring?”

  Her head reared back in shock. “What?”

  “That fucking ring, Charlie!” I roared. “Where did you get it?!”

  Hey chocolate orbs widened. “Are you insane?” she whispered.

  “Who gave you that fucking ring?!” I thundered, ready to lose my shit and hunt J.C. Grant down and murder him.

  “My parents!” she yelled in my face. “It’s their birthday present to me!”

  “Why the fuck is it on your ring finger?” I asked, irritated at seeing such a beautiful ring on that particular finger.

  She tried to break free of my hold, but I wasn’
t having it. “What does it matter?” she asked incredulously.

  I didn’t answer.

  I couldn’t.

  Instead, I grabbed her hand, ripped the ring off her finger and slid it onto her right hand. I knew I was behaving like a lunatic, but that’s what this fucking girl did to me.

  She. Made. Me. Fucking. Crazy.

  “You’re insane,” she choked out. “You are out of your mind, Raiden.”

  “You think I don’t know that, Charlie,” I bit out.

  “What is the matter with you?” she cried. “Why can’t you just leave me the hell alone?”

  “Because I’m in love with you!” I bellowed for all the world to hear. “Because I’m in fucking love with you, and you were making plans to go fuck complete strangers just to bring me to my knees.” I was shaking with a ferocity I did know I could possess. “Well, you win, Charlie,” I snarled, practically foaming at the mouth. “I’m on my motherfucking knees for you.”

  She stopped struggling, but it wasn’t a good sign. Charlie started shaking her head. “No,” she whispered. “You’re not in love with me. You…you’re just trying to win.”

  I let her go and took a shitload of steps backwards.

  Away from her.

  I was out-of-my-mind in love with this stubborn, fiery, brave, menacing, maddening, beautiful soccer player, and she was accusing me of lying, so I could win a game I wasn’t even playing. The very first time I’ve ever told a girl that I loved her, and she threw it back in my face, declaring it a lie.

  I took several calming breaths before saying, “This was never a game, Charlie. At least, not for me.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Bullshit,” she spat. “You’ve been doing nothing but playing games since day one. Or else, you realized I wasn’t worth the trouble that day you beat up Brayden.” And that was when I realized she hadn’t taken my distance as giving her space because I failed. She had taken it as she hadn’t been worth the trouble.