by Hope Ramsay
Her dad poked his head out.
“Dad, how long will you be in there?” she asked.
“I’m seeing Clara Ridgeway.”
Oh God. A lonely senior who was also a hypochondriac. That meant a half hour at least.
“Anything I can help you with, honey?”
“It can wait until after you’re through.”
Her phone vibrated again. Are you OK? She shoved it into her Leonore-pouch and reentered the exam room.
“Are you having chest pain now?” she asked.
“Yes, yes I am.” He splayed his fingers over his chest and grimaced.
She glanced at her watch. Chest pain could be a complicated diagnosis, but the workup was fairly straightforward. Tagg was also a smart guy—and a doctor. If something were seriously wrong, he would have taken himself to the ER. This whole situation smelled like bad cheese.
“Maybe you should head over to the ER,” Sara said.
“No,” he said, quite adamantly. “I came to see you. I-I want to discuss my problem with you.”
“Where does it hurt?”
He moved the palm of his hand over his chest. “All over.”
“How often and how long does it last? And does it happen during activity or at rest? Any fever or shortness of breath?”
“It’s come and gone for about a year now, but it’s been nearly constant for the past month.”
“How severe is it, and any radiation down your arm?”
“No radiation. But it nearly doubles me over sometimes.”
“Palpitations, skipped beats, strange rhythms?” She ran through all the usual questions, although the hair on the back of her neck was prickling. Nothing was adding up, but at the same time she didn’t want to ignore a weird or unusual problem that needed to be dealt with ASAP.
She unwound her stethoscope from her neck and approached him. “Let me have a listen and then we’ll do an office EKG, OK?” She took his wrist and timed his pulse. “It’s steady, and you’re not tachycardic.”
Suddenly he grabbed her hand. The abrupt movement startled her.
“Sara,” he said, looking her in the eye, “I screwed up. Bad. I’m so sorry. My life’s been hell without you.”
Sara pulled her hand away. “Tagg, what are you thinking? I’m at work. There are people who are sick here, for God’s sake.”
“I didn’t think you’d talk to me any other way.”
“You were right.” Her boldness shocked her a little, and her heart thumped hard in her chest. But she wasn’t backing down. This time she was going to say what she should’ve said long ago. “It’s been a year, Tagg. One whole year. Surely you’ve had other opportunities to contact me.”
He at least had the decency to look sheepish. “I was embarrassed. With every day that passed, I felt more and more ashamed about what I’d done.” She shook her head and backed up, but he grabbed her elbow. She used to love that he’d always been a little touchy-feely, but not anymore.
“Look,” he continued. “We dated for such a long time. As it got closer and closer to our wedding, I kept thinking I never got to sow my wild oats. It was like I had this monster inside of me, always wondering what it would be like to date someone else because I never did.”
She crossed her arms. “You’d think you’d have come to that conclusion sooner than two days before our wedding.”
“I panicked. Maybe there’s even something admirable about that, wanting to get that out of my system, not committing because I wasn’t ready. I mean, what if we’d gone through with it? Imagine starting a marriage feeling like that.”
The look in his eyes told her he believed what he was saying. Although she had an entirely different word for him, and it wasn’t admirable.
“I know I embarrassed you and you’re right to be angry with me, but I understand myself so much better now. And I’ve come to understand there’s no one like you, Sara. No one. You’re beautiful and good and kind, and you were the best thing that ever happened to me. I was a huge fool. I hate myself every day for what I did to you. I hope you can forgive me.”
“Where’s Valerie?” Sara asked. “Is she in the waiting room?”
“We…broke up.” He looked embarrassed. “OK, she left me. But that was because I kept comparing her to you.”
He was the picture of earnestness. Sara knew him well enough to know he was in pain. But she also understood what had happened to them so much better now. Tagg hadn’t admitted to himself that he hadn’t loved her the way he needed to until he’d done something really stupid. And she hadn’t had the courage to leave their relationship because it had been too damn comfortable.
As with so many other things in her life, she’d gone with the flow to live up to other people’s expectations. Getting A’s, going to the best schools, achieving, achieving, achieving. Staying with Tagg because he was the “right” kind of guy, one who lived up to her dad’s expectations. Not that the achieving part had been a bad thing, but why had she been so afraid to rebel a little? Choose what she wanted?
“Tagg, you’re forgiven,” she said, placing her hand over his. She meant it too. She now saw the whole embarrassing event as a relief, an opportunity to start over that she would’ve missed. She would have missed Colton, and never known what the possibility of true happiness looked like.
Speaking of Colton, her phone vibrated again in her pocket.
Tagg stood and took both her hands. Maybe it was the blue gown that made him seem extra vulnerable, but she did feel sorry for him. “I hope you can see it in your heart to give me another chance. If you do, I promise I’ll be faithful to you until the day I die.”
“Tagg, you were my first boyfriend. My first everything. We supported each other through those really tough med school years. We believed in each other’s dreams. But the rest of it…it wasn’t right. We weren’t right. I’m sorry.” She dropped her hands and walked over to the door.
He followed her. “I want to prove to you I’ve changed. Give me another chance, Sara. Please.”
She felt really…bad for him. But his feelings weren’t her concern anymore. It was Colton she needed to check in with, which meant responding to his texts ASAP. “I’m sorry, Tagg.” Then she opened the door and left.
In the hall it was so quiet you could’ve heard someone slice cake. She walked through the office to the reception desk. Leonore and Glinda were staring at her, wide-eyed. Her father was leaning on the counter, writing up a chart, and to his credit, he didn’t even look up. Behind the open reception window was Colton, standing there quietly.
Thank God. She didn’t want him worrying, and now she could put his mind at ease in person.
The exam room door opened, and Tagg stepped out into the hall, tucking in his shirt.
“Dr. Langdon! A pleasure to see you, sir.” Tagg extended a hand. For a long second, her father stared down his nose over the top of his bifocals in that way he had of quietly assessing everyone he met.
“Hey, Colt! How’s it going?” Tagg asked, giving Colton a wave. Colton nodded back, his jaw spring-loaded like a mouse trap, ready to crush and kill.
“Taggart,” her dad said cautiously. “What brings you back to town?”
“I came to beg Sara for forgiveness,” he said, his eyes darting around at everyone. Judging by the looks on their faces, Leonore and Glinda were definitely thinking this was better than Netflix. As were the handful of people in the waiting room. Leonore sat at the reception desk, arms folded staunchly across her ample chest. Glinda held a syringe in her hand, ready to inject at a moment’s notice.
“And you’ve got it,” Sara said, her face turning its usual fifty shades of red. Now would he just leave already?
“But I want more than that. I want you. And I want everyone to know. Complete honesty from here on out.”
“Isn’t it a little too late for that?” Colton asked. He was frowning, and his steely gaze was boring a hole through Tagg.
“Oh my,” her dad said. His gaze swung back a
nd forth between Tagg and Colton, but he didn’t say anything, just cleared his throat. Maybe he’d decided not to touch that one with a ten-foot pole.
In the old days her dad would have made small talk, or hugged Tagg, or at least given him a friendly slap on the back. Not so today—thank you, Daddy. He did, however, turn to Colton. “Have a nice day, son,” he said, giving him a wave before he left to see his next patient.
Colton, in true cop form, scanned all the players, nodded at her father, and addressed Sara. “How are you?”
“Oh, good. Thanks for asking.” She couldn’t help the near-hysterical giggle that bubbled up her throat. God, she just needed Tagg to leave already.
Colt eyed her carefully. Then his gaze flitted to Tagg, his eyes narrowing a little. It struck Sara that this was how he might look during target practice.
“Colton,” Tagg said, walking past Sara and out into the waiting room to embrace his friend. “Long time no see. What are you doing here?”
Colton’s gaze landed on Sara, who held her breath while waiting for what he was about to say.
“I saw your car out front,” he said casually. “Came in to say hello.”
“I was just leaving. Walk out with me?”
“I have a minute, sure.”
Tagg actually walked back into the reception area and kissed Sara on the cheek. “We’ll talk more later, OK?”
Ugh, that was just like him. What had she not made clear? After a year, did he actually think simply waltzing in and apologizing would bring everything back to the way it had been?
Oh man, Colton’s jaw was so tight you could bounce a quarter off it, and a muscle at his temple was twitching. Maybe she should have shut Tagg down immediately by telling him about Colton. But she didn’t want drama in front of the entire office. Colton would understand and no doubt tell Tagg himself.
“Take care, folks,” Colton said a little stiffly. “Have a good morning, Sara,” he said, as he and Tagg walked out the door.
Her morning schedule was on the counter. First up was Troy Cummings, a two-year-old whose mother Holly worried endlessly about every sniffle. Holly’s own mother had passed away shortly before Troy was born, and she needed lots of reassurance. Sara would also be seeing an elderly patient from the nursing home with diabetes, a bad heart, and lung problems, and a recent widower, Mr. Stevens, whose bunions were bothering him for the second time in a week but who probably just needed a little TLC.
Despite all the turmoil this morning, Sara was really looking forward to her day. Seeing her patients. Plus she felt that a huge weight she’d been dragging behind her for a year had been cut free.
“You OK, sweetheart?” her dad asked in a quiet voice. “If I would have known it was that pea brain, I would have taken care of him myself. You should’ve told me.”
God love her dad. He never said an unkind word about anyone, but calling Tagg a pea brain was about the most wonderful thing anyone could say to her right now. She even teared up a little.
“Dad, I always thought you liked Tagg.”
Her dad took off his glasses and eyeballed her. “No, honey, you always liked Tagg. I just supported your choice, like I’ve supported whatever you wanted in life.”
Sara blanched. Could she really have gotten it so wrong all these years? “But I always thought you thought he was the perfect guy for me.”
“I appreciated his ambition, but I always felt he had his eye on anything and everything beyond his reach. The most prestigious job, better cars, better fiancées, that kind of thing. He was never one to be happy with what he had. But then, he didn’t really show his true colors until last year, did he?”
“How could I not know you felt this way?”
“I try to think the best of people. Sometimes I’m wrong, of course. But you’re an adult now. You can figure out what you want for yourself.”
What else had she been wrong about? Her dad’s constant push to have her succeed—his hints about her continuing the fellowship she would’ve started last year—how did he really feel about that? And hadn’t he just told her now it mattered more what she wanted for herself than what he wanted?
Well, she finally knew what she wanted. Colton.
* * *
Colton turned over in his brain what he’d just seen and heard. Tagg was going to talk to Sara later? He’d kissed her on the cheek and she’d said…nothing?
Jesus, Colton’s stomach was churning as he walked outside with Tagg.
It was a bright morning, but clouds were building, making the sun look a little watery.
“It’s great to see you, man,” Tagg said, slapping him on the back. “And Sara. God, I’ve missed her.”
The acid feeling in Colton’s stomach crept up to his esophagus. He was definitely going to have to break out the Tums.
“I’ve been such an idiot.” Tagg paused and leveled his gaze at Colton.
“Things not working out with Val?” Colton asked. Shocker if they weren’t.
“I knew Val and I weren’t going to last forever. It just ran its course. But being with her helped me understand how much I’m really in love with Sara. Thank God she’s still single.” Tagg smiled and Colton clenched his fists.
“A year’s a long time. Anything could happen.”
Tagg didn’t seem to hear. “The one good thing that came of this was that I finally cut myself free and got to explore who I really was. After ten years of dating one woman I felt entitled to that.”
Yes, entitled. Something Colton had come to realize was part of Tagg’s character. He’d never really noticed it before. Or he’d ignored it. Now Colton felt entitled to pick him up by his skinny neck and shake him, but somehow refrained.
“I screwed up, Colton. I’ll do anything to get Sara back. I heard you two are on good terms now. I may need you to go to bat for me, to tell her this was just a crazy phase.”
A crazy phase, canceling your wedding to the woman you were supposed to love on a whim and moving in with someone you barely knew?
Colton was reminded of the times he’d deferred to Tagg, because Tagg and his family had done so much for him. They’d given him a real family as an example, and Tagg’s dad had helped Colton stay on the straight and narrow, and for that he’d always be grateful. For years he’d had Tagg’s enduring loyalty—Tagg had always thought Colton was cool, and Colton had liked that. It had made him feel important.
He didn’t need to feel important anymore. Tagg had lied and had potentially cost Colton years with Sara. Water under the bridge, but still. Once upon a time, his dedication to Tagg had known no bounds, but maybe it was time to consider that debt repaid in full.
More important, he wanted to tell Tagg to stay the hell away from Sara. Mine was the word that kept drumming through his head. But something stopped him. His own fear, maybe, that Sara might possibly want Tagg back? She’d certainly tolerated that kiss on the cheek. And the fact that she was going to talk to him later? He didn’t know. She’d looked a little shocked, a little confused. All he knew was he needed to talk to her.
“I want to ask Dr. Langdon to set up a meeting for me with the new neurology group in town. And hopefully he’ll drop a bug in their ear that I’m a hometown son and a perfect future candidate for their practice. Dr. Langdon golfs with them, and I’m pretty sure he’ll put in a good word for me.”
Colton wasn’t so sure that Sara’s father would put in a good word for the guy who’d broken his daughter’s heart. “So you’re planning on moving back to town?” Colton asked. Tagg lived about an hour away, nearer to his job.
“I want to be closer to Sara. She forgave me, even though I can tell she’s still angry. I know I hurt her. Part of me was rebelling against my parents pushing so hard for our marriage, but now I understand why they love Sara so much. She’s the best. I’ll never find anyone better. I don’t know how you’ve done it, going from woman to woman all these years. It’s exhausting. All I want is my old life back.”
Save it for your shrink, bud
dy, a voice in Colton’s head said.
Colton wanted to hit something. A punching bag, Tagg’s pristine face. Both decent-size targets. He clenched his fists repeatedly to try to knead out some of the tension. Wasn’t working.
He’d heard this same speech from Tagg in one form or another for years, the gist being that he’d always wondered what else was out there. He’d always defaulted to Sara, though, until the bachelor party. As far as Colt knew, Tagg had never cheated on Sara before then. Colton had never said anything to Sara—hadn’t felt it was his place—but maybe he should have.
The difference this time, despite the subtle dig about Colton’s love life, was that maybe Tagg really had learned his lesson. This time he seemed dead serious, and when Tagg set his mind to something, he usually got it. What if Sara wanted him back too?
As Colton’s mind wandered, he noticed a white blur moving in the shrubbery next to the office. Sure enough, there was a little white dog peeing in the boxwood. On closer inspection he saw it wasn’t just any dog, but a poodle, a super-groomed one, with painted toenails and bright pink bows in its hair.
“Dolly?” he called. The dog stopped peeing and froze.
Tagg’s beeper went off. “I’ve got to get this. I’ve got a head trauma patient in the unit who’s really sick. Hello,” he said into his phone while Colton walked toward the dog. “His intracranial pressure’s increasing? Let’s give him more Solu-Medrol and call neurosurgery to schedule him for craniotomy, OK? I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Colton bent down and pulled out the emergency dog biscuit he always kept in his shirt pocket. “Come here, Dolly. We’ll find your mama, OK? Come get a cookie.” He looked up and down the street. No one running down the street frantically panicking…yet.
At the sound of cookie, the dog practically leaped onto the biscuit, making it easy for Colton to scoop her right into his arms.
“What the hell?” Tagg said, laughing, as he looked at the dog, who was now sniffing Colton’s pocket for another biscuit.
