Dinosaur Diet

by Sam Speed

  'I don't want you doing any more investigating,' I said. 'It's too dangerous.'

  'Then you shouldn't either. Let's face it they both deserved to die. Yvette was a vicious blackmailer and Christine a murderer. Why should either of us put ourselves at risk to find out who killed them?'

  I couldn't argue with that. But we still had Angela to talk to. Besides I still wanted to beat Detective Mike to the solution.

  Jean made a good recovery from her attack both physically and psychologically. By now she was spending most nights at my flat and Snowball included her as part of our family group. She even brought Jean gifts of food. I laughed as I listened to Jean explaining that she preferred to buy her food at the supermarket and preferably not with feathers or fur attached to it.

  When Thursday came around, I went to the hall to help Dawn set up, only to find the detective had beaten me to it. Dawn was in the back room collecting equipment and the detective was setting out exercise mats.

  'Hello Detective Mikey,' I said, 'not got any crimes to solve - like two murders and an attack for instance?'

  'That's DI Black to you,' he said, quietly so Dawn wouldn't hear.

  Dawn came back into the room before I could respond. For her sake, I pretended I was trying to be nice.

  'Detective Mikey,' I said. 'Would you mind moving those chairs over to the other side for me?'

  Dawn looked confused because we'd always had the seats where they were. But she seemed content we were talking to each other.

  'My pleasure,' said the bold detective through only slightly gritted teeth.

  So, he thought he could play my game. He didn't stand a chance.

  Jean arrived soon after and scowled when she saw the detective.

  'Jean,' said Dawn, rushing over to give her a cuddle, 'you're looking much better, but should you be here tonight?'

  'I thought you might need help,' Jean said, 'but I'm sure the detective can manage everything on his own.'

  I would have enjoyed watching Jean getting torn into Detective Mike. But for Dawn's sake, I decided to intervene and encouraged Jean to sit on one of the few remaining chairs at our side of the hall. I winked at her as the detective came for the last few chairs.

  'Oh dear,' I said, 'I'm so sorry but it seems the chairs were better on this side after all. Would you mind bringing them back?'

  His lips thinned and his eyes narrowed, but before he could say anything, Dawn slipped her hand into his and rested her head on his arm.

  'I am so pleased you two are going to be friends,' she said.

  Behind me, Jean choked and I used it as an excuse to turn away before Dawn saw me laughing.

  We sat and chatted to each other glaring when the detective spoke to Dawn and she giggled. Then she came over to us.

  'I was wondering,' she said, 'if there was any chance you two could take the class tonight and let me have a break.'

  Jean stiffened but I put my hand on her arm and spoke first.

  'I'd be happy to do it,' I said, 'but Jean's not up to it yet.'

  Jean obediently wiped her forehead and slumped in the chair.

  Dawn looked stricken. I could almost hear her thinking guilty thoughts about having forgotten Jean's injuries.

  I was having slight twinges of guilt myself. It was the first time I remembered Dawn ever asking for anything for herself. But spoiling Mike's plans was at that moment more important to me.

  'If Wendy comes I could take the class with her,' I said, 'but is it fair on the ladies? They have paid for you to teach them your exercises. You're the expert and you have such a bright cheery way of keeping them going. They will be disappointed if all they get is me.'

  'You've taken other classes.' I'd never seen Dawn pout before. Detective Mike was changing her and I, for one, didn't think it was for the better.

  'Only at the beginning when there were too many people and there was no choice if they wanted to stay for the class. Now it's not as busy and if you're not here when people expect you to be they might stop coming.'

  Dawn sighed and dragged herself back over to the detective. He gave me a dirty look. I was heartbroken - not.

  Wendy arrived not long after the class started. Thankfully too late for me to keep my promise about taking the class.

  Dawn was less than enthusiastic during the class and it was a relief to everyone when she cut it short.

  'Could you clear up for me?' she asked me in a tone that challenged me to refuse. This was not the Dawn I knew and loved.

  'Suppose,' I said.

  Before she left, Dawn came over to us.

  'Tomorrow I thought we could all have lunch at the White Cat cafe, my treat. To thank you for all the help you've given me since the class started.'

  I liked to think it was because she realised how much we did for her. I hated to think that the idea came from Detective Mike. I was worried he'd persuaded her she didn't need us helping anymore. Perhaps the lunch was by way of thanks, but I no longer need you. But surely even Dawn would not be naive enough to depend on a man for help.

  I did notice she picked the cheapest cafe in town. Not that I minded. It was a lovely little cafe run by friendly volunteers for a mental health charity and they did a mean selection of homemade cakes.

  'Won't you be cuddling up to Detective Mikey?' I said.

  'Not tomorrow.'

  'He's working,' said Wendy.

  'Won't he need you then?' asked Jean.

  'No,' said Wendy, 'I'm not the one who spent all my time chasing after the wrong suspect. He's got a lot of sorting out to do and he's being watched from on high.'

  Jean and I cheered up at that news and we agreed we would all meet the next day. Dawn smiled and skipped out the door.

  Changed from her exercise clothes and looking fresh enough to do another class, Angela tried to make a hasty exit. Jean nabbed her and asked her to help with the clearing up. Reluctantly Angela agreed.

  'We are sorry about the business at your work,' Jean even sounded sorry. She almost convinced me.

  'I suppose I overreacted, my manager was happy with how it went,' Angela said with a dreamy smile on her face. 'It was just... my Gran died a few days before.'

  I remembered Angela had been going to visit her Gran when I bumped into her at the hospital. I wondered if I could be as convincing as Jean.

  'You poor thing,' I said, 'you've had an awful time of it.'

  That wasn't too bad I thought, although the twitch at the side of Jean's mouth suggested I hadn't fooled her.

  'I remember taking your Gran in my ambulance,' said Jean. 'It was a stroke, wasn't it?' Damn, she was good.

  'Yes. To be honest I'm quite glad she passed. She would have hated a life where she couldn't drive or go out visiting. She wasn't in the hospital for long thankfully. She died the day I bumped into you, Lisa. She looked at my lilies, smiled, gave a sigh and slipped away.'

  I put on my best sympathetic nursey face while my mind sorted the information. That was the day Christine died. It looked like my number one suspect had an alibi. I was having even less luck than the bold Detective when it came to suspects.

  Jean and I picked up Dawn the next day and we met Wendy at the cafe.

  'We'll not be having Prosecco then,' Jean whispered in my ear.

  Indeed, we would not. Run by a volunteer Joan, it was cheap and very cheerful. We had a choice of tea or instant coffee. But the lack of beverage choice was more than made up for by Joan's excellent baking.

  Three friendly helpers waited on the tables. They spent more time chatting to the customers than serving. It was not somewhere to go if you were in a hurry. But if you wanted a relaxed lunch with an amazing array of tiny cakes for after, this was the place to come.

  As we entered the enticing smell of smoked bacon wafted over. I knew what I'd be having for lunch. I was not alone. We had soon all ordered a bacon roll with a plate of cakes between us for after.

  Jean, Wendy and I ordered coffee. I hoped it would be somewhere in the middle of the ro
ad. Depending on who made it, coffee varied between stand your spoon up in it or flavoured water. Dawn produced an herbal tea bag and asked for hot water.

  I got in first and nabbed the sofa along the wall. Jean sat besides me. The others sat on the hard seats, looking wistfully at the small sofa with its cushions. I don't know why they looked at me like that. I never claimed to be nice.

  The cafe was fairly quiet so it didn't take too long for our lunch to arrive.

  'Welcome to the first meeting of Dawn's Dinosaur Detectives,' said Dawn. 'What have we got to report?'

  We let out a communal groan. We thought we were here to enjoy a free lunch. It's true enough what they say.

  Wendy, bless her, tried to keep Dawn happy.

  'I spoke to Janice last night. Yvette threatened to tell her men friends about each other. Janice said she laughed at her and told her to go right ahead because she made no secret of being "popular". I'm inclined to believe her.'

  Knowing Janice, we were all inclined to believe her.

  A young child at the next table screeched out some comment at the top of her annoying high-pitched voice.

  I looked over critically at the mother who couldn't either keep the child quiet or leave it at home. Why do parents insist on taking their children out to eating places or hospital wards? It can't be any pleasure for them to spend their time trying to keep the brats under control. Mind you most of them don't even bother.

  I was surprised to find both Jean and Dawn gazing over at the child with glaikit4[4] grins on their faces. Dawn I might expect, although even she couldn't like having her eardrums shattered. Jean was another matter. I hoped she wasn't going to destroy our relationship by suggesting we have a baby. The people who invented IVF have a lot to answer for.

  'I wonder if Michael wants children,' said Dawn.

  'He's a man,' I said, 'they want the pleasure of sex, not the consequences.'

  'A bit like you,' murmured Jean. 'It's so unfair sometimes when it comes to conceiving. I can't ever have children, but you see so many mothers with broods of children who don't even want them. Or only for the extra benefit they get.'

  'Life is unfair,' I said, smothering a sigh of relief that Jean could not have children.

  'I know,' said Dawn brightly, 'Dawn's Dinosaur Detectives can investigate the unfairness in life.'

  'Right,' said Jean, 'we can all be superheroes. I'll be Epic Medic. My superpower will be to detect if ill people deserve to be saved and cure them with a touch of my hand.'

  Dawn squealed with delight, 'I'll be Tea Bee. I'll go about dropping honey in people's tea.'

  I wasn't entirely sure Dawn understood what superheroes are supposed to be about.

  'And I'll be Unstoppable Constable,' said Wendy. 'I'll arrest and convict all the crooks who would normally get away with crimes. What about you Lisa?'

  'Well I would go for Catwoman, but she's already been taken. I know I'll be Mirth Nurse. My superpower is to take anyone who got away with a crime and make them laugh themselves to death.'

  Noticing the sudden silence, I looked up to find all the other eyes in the room on us. At the next table, the child was sitting cuddled into her mum. Her mouth was wide open but no sound came out of it. Result. Score one for Dawn's Dinosaur Detectives.

  Lorna's Story

  The next day at work, I sneaked down to the stroke unit. It didn't take long to confirm that Angela had been there from a minute after I saw her, until well after Christine died. I suppose I should have realised. There was no way she would have committed a murder. She would not risk them sending her perfect body to prison.

  At home Jean and Wendy were mock fighting for Snowball's attention. So she ignored both of them and wandered off into the kitchen. Their relationship seemed to have improved since Wendy's outburst against Detective Mike. I suppressed a twinge of jealousy. I'd rather liked the idea they were in competition for me.

  'Why don't you leave the notebook Jean? I want to stay awake for a while,' I said. 'I'm on night shift tomorrow so plan to stay up for a while and sleep late tomorrow morning.'

  'I have a better idea,' she said blowing on my neck. 'Why don't I stay and think of something else to keep you awake.'

  Dawn blushed and rushed on with her coat. Wendy was way ahead of her and half way out the door.

  'Right I'll see you soon,' Dawn said.

  I freed a hand from inside Jean's clothes and waved her off.

  By the time I woke up next morning Jean was away and Snowball was trying to knock the door down to get back in.

  'Poor wee soul. Did Auntie Jean throw you out? And without feeding you no doubt.'

  Snowball rubbed herself against my legs telling me how much she loved me and how glad she was to be home. Then once I put some food out for her she ignored me. She stuffed her face and curled up to sleep on the bed.

  Jean phoned a few minutes before I left the house. The sound of her voice left me feeling warm inside. I would have to watch or I might turn into a nice person. Next thing you knew I'd be watching romantic films. No. That was a step too far.

  We arranged to do some more sleuthing on the following Wednesday when we were both off. I wasn't happy about Jean getting involved in anything, but she didn't want me to do it on my own and it was nice to have her along. I loved the way we always seemed to think alike.

  We were busy with emergency admissions on Tuesday night. So, on Wednesday morning, all I wanted to do was have a cuppa and curl up with Snowball beside me for a couple of hours sleep.

  Arriving home, I found the spot where I sometimes got parked now sported yet another disabled bay. At this rate, there would soon be no other parking in the street. Not that I objected to genuinely disabled people having their own parking bays. What I objected to, were all the people who couldn't park a few yards away from their houses, yet managed to walk their dog. As if to prove my point the owner of the car in the new bay left his house for his morning routine. He carried a walking stick then started leaning on it when he saw me watching him. He was dragged along the pavement by his lively collie dog. At the end of the street, they started walking briskly down the steep hill to the local newsagent.

  I saw a parking place a couple of spaces down and across the road and was going to park in it when Betty pulled up behind me. I hated seeing her trying to walk. She always looked like she was in so much pain. She kept stopping and leaning on a garden wall. I was convinced that one of these days she would not be able to make it home. But the council in their wisdom had refused her a blue badge. It seemed to get a blue badge in our area you had to be a dog owner. This space was still quite a distance from her flat but since it was the only one available I would leave it for her.

  I drove on and waved Betty into the parking spot. I parked in the middle of the road until she was in the space to make sure Gavin Cameron didn't sneak in before her.

  I was so frustrated about life's injustices. Like when old women who could barely walk were refused a disabled badge but people fit enough to walk dogs could get one. Or drug addicts who took up valuable hospital beds to avoid benefit examinations. Or men who abused women or even children and the law did nothing about them because their victims were too frightened to testify against them.

  I parked in the next street and by the time I got back, Betty had managed to get across the road.

  'Thank you, Lisa. That was very kind of you. I don't know how I would manage without you.'

  'That's no problem. What were you doing out at this time?'

  'I had to watch my grandson for half an hour after his mum left for work. He's away to his friend's now and they'll go to school together. I don't mind it's only half an hour.'

  I grimaced. Her daughter, as with so many parents of young children, took advantage of her mother. Betty may only have been there for half an hour, but it took her ages to get going in the morning. She would have been up around five to be at her daughter's for eight. No point in saying anything, Betty knew my opinion already.

  'Would
you like to come in for a coffee?' she asked.

  I knew she was looking for adult company. Her daughter's idea of having a chat with her was saying 'bye' as she flew out the door. Much as Betty loved her grandchildren all they wanted to talk about were the latest bands or computer games. They were not interested in what happened in Betty's favourite soap. Neither was I, but at times I had to pretend I was. It was the least I could do when she kept an eye on my little Snowball when I was at work.

  'Sorry, Betty. I'm shattered. I want to get to bed before I collapse.'

  'Oh, I should have thought. I haven't seen Snowball this morning.'

  'I left her in last night. I'm not that keen on her being out when I'm away all night.'

  'I would look after her.'

  'I know.'

  Snowball visited Betty quite often and had been known to spend hours sitting at her feet or on her lap. But she disagreed with the experts who said cats were nocturnal animals. She liked to spend the night in her own house, in her own bed.

  I didn't even bother making a cuppa. I fed Snowball and collapsed into bed. A few hours sleep and Jean would be here. As Snowball bounced daintily on, I wondered what the day would bring.

  'I'll take the notes,' I said, curling my fingers through Jean's hair. 'I don't want you doing any more with it. I can't have you hurt again.'

  She took my hand in hers and our fingers entwined as she looked into my eyes.

  'You mustn't blame yourself for what happened to me. I knew exactly what I was doing.'

  'Even so.'

  'We don't need to bother with the notebook anymore,' she said. 'I had to do something to amuse myself when I was off work.'

  Jean had been busy. She'd collated all initials with payments made and matching notes, in a clear spreadsheet. There was no point in me even looking at the notebook when Jean's notes were much clearer.

  Jean showed me the best way to work it.

  'For instance,' she said, 'what about this one? LP dirty little thief. A pen's a pen. No payments made.'

  'No payments made?' I said. 'Maybe he or she decided to deal with the blackmail another way. What if whoever this is, stole from her instead of Anne's son?