Dinosaur Diet

by Sam Speed

  I'll bet and I was pretty sure he'd be wanting his bit of nookie while he still could.

  It seemed she was neither phoning to give me more abuse nor to make up. She simply wanted me to cover while she had a night off to cuddle up to the father of her budding child.

  Jean was working so Wendy and I supervised the class. Depleted numbers were a good excuse to carry on with the volunteer helper at the end and tonight the lucky recipient was Suzy.

  We finished up with our 'foraging for berries' exercise. That consisted of class members wandering around all the rooms in the centre, looking for cardboard berries we had hidden earlier. The fun was when two or more spotted the same 'berries' and raced each other to grab them. I was pretty sure that one of these days someone would end up getting hurt the way they pushed each other out of the way. But health and safety didn't come into it. Before she could leave, I asked Suzy to help. She seemed happy to be useful. I wondered why she had given up helping at the church when she was happy to help. Wendy popped through to tidy up the back room while I got a chance to talk to Suzy.

  I was never one for small talk, so I got straight to the point.

  'Have the police interviewed you about Christine's death?' I said.

  'What? No. Why would they do that?'

  Suzy stood straight and looked at me coldly.

  'I saw you arguing with Christine before she was thrown out of the class.'

  'Everyone was arguing with Christine that night. She practically accused us all of killing Yvette.'

  'You didn't seem to be too bothered about Yvette's murder considering she was your close friend.'

  'We weren't that close,' Suzy muttered, looking down.

  She didn't seem so confident now. I could sense I was nearly getting through to her. I led her over to the chairs at the side of the hall and she obediently sat down.

  'From what the people at your work said, you and Lorna were her closest friends. And I heard she used to send you to do her dirty work when she wanted to reprimand anyone. Did you like having power over your work colleagues? Is that why you were friends with Yvette?'

  'It's not like that. I had no choice. She made me.'

  'Made you? Made you what? Be friends? Scold your work mates?'

  'Yes. No. She would have told otherwise.'

  'Told what Suzy? Was she blackmailing you? You weren't the only one you know. What did she blackmail you about? If you don't tell me I'll have to notify the police.'

  'I would never have told her about it. But... She saw me. Everyone would despise me. Neil would leave me.'

  Suzy's breath was coming in short gasps and her eyes brimmed with tears. She sat wringing her hands together. I was beginning to get worried about her, but I sensed she needed to tell someone about her problem. At least someone who wouldn't blackmail her. So, I kept quiet and left her to make up her mind.

  She sat chewing her lips for several minutes then it all burst out.

  'It wasn't my fault. I didn't want it. Honestly, I didn't. I know my skirt was short but that wasn't an invitation.'

  I shuddered. I knew what was coming.

  'Believe me, Suzy I know exactly what you are going through.'

  I could see her eyes widen as she realised what I was saying.

  'Why don't you tell me as much as you can remember,' I said.

  'I can remember every moment of it,' she said with horror in her voice.

  'I was in the church hall. We were clearing up after an evening concert. Sheila asked me to put the chairs away. Then she went over to prepare the church for the service next day.

  I heard the outside door shut and a key turn in the lock. I hoped I hadn't got locked in on my own. Then I heard footsteps in the next room. If only...' she swallowed. 'I lifted four chairs onto a pile. I leaned over to make sure the chairs slipped into the right slot. I heard footsteps behind me. A hand slammed me down against the chairs. '

  Suzy's breath was coming in great heaves and I told her to stop for a moment and try to calm down. But she rushed on. I understood that having started she wanted to get the whole thing out.

  'I tried to scream. He put his hand over my mouth. "Don't be silly," he said. "If you scream, I'll tell Sheila you asked for this. Who do you think she'll believe - me or you?" I recognised the voice. I listened to it every Sunday preaching at me from the pulpit. He was right who would believe me? He's old, but... so strong. It was... On and on. Please make it stop. I kept banging against the chairs. He yanked my hair back. I thought... at least my face won't mark. My mind... It wasn't happening to me. All the time he was saying I wanted it. My short skirt and crop top.'

  By now Suzy seemed to have almost calmed down and she spoke in a monotone. I believed she was back to feeling it didn't really happen to her.

  'Finally,' she swallowed, 'I felt some of my hair pull out as he held it back. He let go. I stood up. He smiled and said, "There my dear you enjoyed that didn't you?" I thought he's mad and tried to push past him. But...he said, "Not so fast my dear. I took an extra one of my special pills for you. So that I could give you everything you want." I could feel him hard again.'

  Suzy faltered.

  'Oh, Lisa,' she said, 'I thought it would never end. Then I felt a new sensation. I tried to fight it. Honestly. I couldn't help it. I had an orgasm. I didn't want it, truly I didn't. I am so disgusted with myself.'

  I pulled Suzy towards me and held her close.

  'This is not your fault,' I said, 'none of this is your fault.'

  Suzy swallowed and carried on.

  'After the second time, he got up and slapped my face. "Get yourself dressed you hussy," he said. "Do you want Sheila seeing you like this? What would she think of you?" Then he unlocked the door and left the hall. I ran out and never returned. How could God....'

  I sensed Suzy was not finished.

  'But it got worse,' she said, 'it was only a couple of weeks later I realised I was pregnant.'

  'You didn't think to get the morning after pill?' I asked gently.

  'I was so ashamed. I didn't want anyone to know. Was it my fault? Why did I have an orgasm? I didn't want it. I didn't. I hid in the house for a week. Phoned in sick to my work until some of the bruises healed. By the time I realised... it was too late. I knew the baby couldn't be Neil's because we always used protection. I saw the doctor. A woman doctor, I couldn't face seeing a man. I told her it was a split condom. I don't think she believed me but she referred me for an abortion.

  It was when I came out of the clinic that Yvette saw me. It never occurred to me at the time to wonder why she was there. When I got back to work on the Monday, she told me she was fed up being left out of all the social events and that she wanted to come out with Lorna and me. If I didn't let her, she would tell Neil.'

  'You didn't tell Neil what had happened?'

  'How could I? I felt so dirty. Even if he believed me, things would never be the same again. And... I've seen bruises on Sheila. I think the minister can be violent and I was worried what he might do if he discovered I aborted his child. I've never told anyone else. You know why.'

  Tears streamed down her face.

  I could only nod because I did know why.

  'You know I didn't tell anyone for years either, but I did tell Wendy recently and felt a bit better for it.'

  'And I think I feel a bit better for telling you, but I'm not telling anyone else. And I'm not going to the police.'

  'I understand,' I said, 'but if you change your mind, Wendy has contacts in a support group. You could speak to her. She wouldn't pass any information on to the police unless you wanted it.'

  'I'll think about it,' Suzy said dully, but I didn't have any great hope.

  I didn't have the heart to tell her that her story made her a prime suspect for Yvette's murder. I wouldn't tell Wendy unless Suzy wanted me too and I certainly wouldn't be telling Inspector Mike.

  #

  Wendy was standing at the other side of the hall door when she heard Suzy confiding in Lisa. She
felt sick at what the young woman had been through on her own. She would have to try and persuade Suzy to join the support group. Lisa might be able to cope with her experience on her own, but Suzy obviously needed someone to talk to. She glanced around the door and saw Lisa watching her.

  #

  Wendy came and sat beside Suzy talking to her in a low voice and holding her hand while I finished clearing up. We had an arrangement with the janitor that we would lock up and pop the keys through his letter box. So there was no rush to get out for a certain time. Wendy signalled me to leave her the keys and that she would lock up.

  By the time I got home it was nearly eleven. Just as well I had a night off. Mr disabled collie owner was getting back from a walk with his dog. The dog was panting and looked tired. I thought it was not bad going for a disabled driver to be able to walk a collie long enough to tire it out.

  I was so tempted to report him. But I knew his defrauding the system and inconveniencing all his neighbours was acceptable. But in Kilmarrick for anyone to tell the authorities what he's up to, would be thought a major crime. Still, when did I ever care what other people thought? When I had time, he was in trouble. That's if the council bothered to do anything about him. The odds were the council employees were all part of the dog walking community.

  I needed to stop thinking about this. I was getting frustrated again about the unjustness of life or to be more exact the unfairness of people.

  I was not long in the house and had collapsed with a glass of wine when the phone rang. Fortunately, I hadn't drunk any of it because it was Mike.

  'Dawn needs you,' he shouted down the phone. 'The hospital won't do anything.'

  'Calm down and tell me what's happened,' I said.

  'Dawn's bleeding. She's losing the baby.'

  Lisa is Accosted

  When I got to Dawn's house she was lying on the sofa. Her face was white and tears were trickling down her cheeks.

  Mike surprised me by making a tactful withdrawal to the kitchen.

  Dawn reached for my hand.

  'I'm losing the baby,' she said her nails digging into my hand.

  'Listen to me,' I said, 'some bleeding during pregnancy is common. How much blood are you losing?'

  'I don't know.'

  'Compare it to your normal period.'

  'Less than that. Much less than that.'

  'That's a good sign,' I said.

  'Michael phoned the Early Pregnancy Unit. They said all I could do was rest unless the bleeding gets worse. Why won't they give me something to help?'

  'There's nothing they can do when it's so early in the pregnancy, except wait and hope. Going to hospital would be more stressful than staying at home and won't do any good. We'll get you to bed and I'll stay here tonight in case anything changes.'

  'You're so good to me, especially after what I said to you.'

  'That's what friends are for,' I said. 'Are you hungry? Do you want anything to eat?'

  'I couldn't eat.'

  'I'll get you a cup of chamomile tea.'

  'Thanks.'

  Dawn slumped down on the sofa.

  In the kitchen, Mike was wearing a groove in the lino pacing back and forward. He grabbed my arms. His fingers felt rough which surprised me. What on earth did he do in his spare time other than impregnating my friend? A Detective Inspector wouldn't be doing anything at work to get his hands rough. Maybe I should suggest Fairy Liquid.

  'Is she all right?' he said.

  'So far it doesn't sound like she's lost the baby,' I said, loosening his hands from my arms. I was going to have bruises tomorrow.

  'I don't care about the baby,' he said, 'I need to know that Dawn will be all right.'

  'There's no reason why she shouldn't be. I'll stay with her tonight to be sure.'

  His whole body seemed to collapse inward as he relaxed.

  'I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to her.'

  Ok, perhaps I'd misjudged him a little bit.

  'I thought you wanted this baby?' I said.

  'I don't care about the baby. I only care about Dawn. She wants the baby so I want it for her.'

  I could understand that. I just didn't expect it from him. There was a possibility that this time, Dawn had picked the right man. I'd have to be careful not to say that out loud.

  'Why don't you go home?' I said. 'Dawn will relax more on her own and she needs rest. I'll be here.'

  He grabbed my arms again. I was so going to need arnica ointment tomorrow.

  'Thank you. Thank you,' he said. 'Dawn's right, you are the best friend she could have. Here's my mobile number. Call me anytime if Dawn needs anything.'

  He handed me a business card. Talk about showy.

  I helped Dawn to bed and sat beside her until she dozed off into a restless sleep. I left the door open between her bedroom and the living room so I could hear if she called out. Then I settled down on her sofa bed.

  Next morning Dawn was still sleeping when I got up, so I decided to go and feed Snowball and ask Betty to watch out for her. I was working that night, but if Dawn was all right up to then, I hoped the worst was over. I opened the front door to find Mike standing on the doorstep.

  'Is Dawn all right?' he asked, his voice trembling.

  'She's still asleep,' I said, 'and that's a good thing.'

  'Are you leaving?'

  'I was going home to see to Snowball.'

  'Ah yes, Dawn often talks about your cat. She loves it. Of course, she'll have to keep away from it while she's pregnant.'

  My opinion of him flipped right back to hating him. How dare he suggest my darling Snowball would harm Dawn.

  'What are you on about Detective Mikey?' I said and had the pleasure of seeing him wince.

  'You're a nurse. You must know that cats can be dangerous to pregnant women.'

  'On the contrary,' I said with my best authoritarian voice, 'I can assure you that Dawn and her baby will come to no harm from seeing or touching Snowball. And I'm speaking here as a medical professional. The only risk is if she were to change Snowball's litter tray without adequate protection. Then there is a slight chance of infection from toxoplasmosis, but she will not be doing that.'

  The detective actually blushed which gave me great pleasure.

  'There's no need for you to come back today,' he said. 'I'll be here until I start work later. I'm sure Dawn will be all right on her own after that.'

  His face showed no emotion and I wasn't quite sure how to take that. He might be trying to mend fences, by giving me time to myself. But I thought it much more likely that he was asserting his alpha male status, as in 'Dawn has me. She doesn't need anyone else.'

  It wasn't like that the night before when he called me for help. Or when he paced the floor helplessly.

  Still, I could use the time more productively than watching him and Dawn playing happy families. Like sleeping for instance.

  'Fine,' I said, 'Dawn has my mobile number if she needs me.'

  We both knew if Dawn got worse he would go to pieces and call me, but let him think he was in charge for now.

  I decided to try and get some sleep later. It should not be difficult because I had slept very lightly at Dawn's, constantly listening out for her.

  On the way home, Wendy phoned to ask if I could run by the community centre. She was not sure she had locked up. She'd been too concerned about Suzy to remember.

  'How is she?' I asked.

  'She's been covering up the whole thing for so long that now it's out in the open she's pretty much gone to pieces.'

  'Will you be able to help her?'

  'I hope so. Look, I'm sorry. I know she confided in you, but from now on I can't tell you anything about her unless she asks me to.'

  'Don't worry,' I said, 'I understand. I hope you can help her.'

  The community centre was locked, which was a relief. I didn't fancy having to explain to the janitor that after him trusting us with the keys, we would need them back to lock up.

 
Outside I saw a young woman looking at the sign for the community centre.

  'There you are,' she said on seeing me.

  It was the nameless Lisa clone from Yvette's work.

  'I need to speak to you,' she said. 'I hoped you might be here.'

  'So now you want to speak to me. You weren't so keen before.'

  'What do you expect? You're trying to find out who killed Yvette. Whoever did it should be given a medal. Not hounded by you and your pals.'

  'I might want to give them a medal.'

  'You would if you'd ever worked with her.'

  'I'll be sure to bear that in mind.'

  She obviously had something to say other than a discussion about medal giving. I decided the quickest way to get it out of her would be to ignore her so I started to walk away.

  'Wait a minute.'

  'I'm busy.'

  She visibly swallowed back what she was about to say.

  'Look. I'm sorry. Can we start again? I'm Sophie.'

  'You know my name.'

  'You have to stop hounding George. He's so depressed since he lost his job. You're making it worse.'

  'Since you dumped him when he lost his job, I don't think you can talk.'

  'I couldn't take his mood swings. I didn't realise he was ill. I still love him. Something you know nothing about.'

  I grinned. It hadn't taken her long to get back to normal. She glared at me and her face went red.

  'You think this is funny?'

  'It's funny you are trying to be nice. And failing.'

  'Well you'd know all about that,' she said, then smiled.

  Her eyes lit up and for a moment she looked pretty.

  'I guess we are alike,' she said. 'Please don't talk to George again. He is seriously depressed. If they admit him to hospital you won't get a chance to harass him anyway.'

  'I think you'll find,' I said, 'that if he's admitted to hospital, I'll have a captive audience.'

  She gasped and paled.

  'Don't worry,' I said, 'I won't go near him. I could see he has mental health issues and have no intention of speaking to him again. We didn't think it could be him anyway. He's too much of a wimp.'