Dreaming of Love
Page 21
Maybe she should make an offer and buy the damn house. Take the issue out of the way.
Temporarily.
What about the next house?
Her arms dropped limply to her sides as she wandered along the edge of the sunflower field. She was never going to find the place this picture was taken. She needed clues.
Why would he ask her to do this?
She looked at the picture again. What was I looking at?
Memories slid in, soft and welcome. The face she’d made when he first took their picture. His laugh when he said it was a keeper.
The tree. Standing sentinel. “That’s it.”
She looked past the sunflowers to the ridge behind, scanning left, then right, and finally landing on the tallest tree. She inspected the picture again, then sprinted down the edge of the field until she was sure she was close to where she was when he’d taken the picture.
She looked out into the field. What did he want her to see? She walked a little farther, searching the beautiful blooms. Their dark centers were like eyes watching her. Like they were expecting her to see something, too. Her heartbeat quickened.
“Give me a hint, Dae. Is it something about the tree?”
She dropped her eyes to the thick sunflower stems, racking her mind about that afternoon. Had he said something that she’d forgotten? She looked out at the road, then back at the field, and finally scanned the ground in one last frustrating attempt to decipher why he wanted her to go there. Her eyes caught on a flash of red. Anticipation tingled her limbs as a small bouquet of poppies came into focus. It was pushed back between the spiny stems of the sunflowers and tied with a white ribbon. She reached in to retrieve it and realized the bouquet was set on top of the two memo pads they’d used to write down their preserve or demolish lists.
Holy crap. What if I hadn’t found them?
He had faith she would.
Of course he did.
As she lifted the package from the ground, she noticed the tiny white flowers layering the ground and remembered Dae asking her to look down when they were there the first time.
“You’re a tricky creature, Dae Bray.”
She walked back toward her car and read what he’d scrawled on the cover of one of the pads.
Read these while you’re sitting where we shared our first bottle of wine. I’ll be thinking of you. Love, Your sure thing
Emily stopped walking and clutched the memo pads to her chest, fighting the urge to read them right that second. She closed her eyes and thought of Dae, and when she opened her eyes again, she looked back over the sunflower field. This time it wasn’t the giant yellow flowers that she noticed. It was the gentle breeze whispering over her arms, the near-silent shiver of the leaves rustling against one another, and the way Dae felt very present, even though he was thousands of miles away.
Chapter Twenty-Two
DAE SPENT FRIDAY morning watching the demolition videos on his YouTube channel. He’d begun posting the videos years ago. He liked to show them to his friends and his brothers and sisters. Hell, he liked to revisit the work he did and relive the thrill of the explosions, the perfection of the tumbling of stone and steel into one beautiful mess.
Around the time he’d decided that flings were no longer an option for him, he’d stopped watching the videos. The thrill of the job had come less from the actual blast and more from the ability to be the best and safest damn demolitionist around. Watching his younger self, arms flung high in the air, eyes wide and excited while a building imploded behind him, he thought about how much he’d changed over the years. He’d never been particularly reckless, but he had never been what he’d consider a candidate for a settled lifestyle, either. He might have nixed having flings and stuck to dating a handful of women for a few months here and there, but he’d never felt one-one-hundredth for any of them as he felt for Emily in the course of a few short days. As if on cue, his phone vibrated and Emily’s smiling face appeared on the screen. He opened the message and another picture of her popped up. She was holding one of the memo pads he’d left for her in the sunflower field. The accompanying text read, Sneaky, sneaky, Mr. Bray. Can’t wait to read them. Counting down hours until we Skype. Xox.
He smiled to himself, glad that she’d found the memo pads. He was prepared for the meeting with Frank as far as data was concerned. It was a pretty straightforward job, and in a few short hours he’d look Frank in the eyes and tell him just that. Emotionally, however, he was nowhere near prepared to make the decision on whether he was going to tear down the House of Wishes or not. He’d forced himself to begin thinking of the property by its name. He could no longer separate the myth, and the community’s reliance upon it, from the structure he had been hired to destroy.
Hanging in the balance between his decision and a life with Emily felt like torture. His career was vital to the growth of businesses, areas, even communities, and he was damn good at what he did. He wasn’t a hack who tore buildings down for the hell of it or did it haphazardly. He was an expert. A leader in the field, just as Emily was a leader in the passive-house movement. He didn’t feel as though his and Emily’s ideals were that far apart, but after hearing the hesitation in her voice last night, he had to wonder if she would ever be able to see past the destruction of property to the beauty and the value in what he did.
EMILY STOOD ON the back patio of the resort, holding Luca on her hip while Serafina went inside to get his favorite blanket. She and Marcello were going to take a walk with Luca, and Emily planned on reading through the lists she and Dae had created. She’d stopped at the House of Wishes on the way back to the villa, and she was surprised to see the driveway once again full of cars. There were no tables set up, no meals being shared, but the sense of community and camaraderie remained. Women greeted her warmly. Some she recognized from the other evening; others she hadn’t seen before. Women gazed up at the back of the house and the glorious olive tree, and once again, the trail of stories of past wishes ran thick.
The trunk was now decorated with fresh pieces of paper and fabric, spilling out of every crevice in the rough bark. Emily wondered if previous owners had minded women coming from all over, at all hours, and leaving their hopes and dreams in the trunk of the tree.
Before leaving the property, she’d made another wish. A selfish one.
She wished she could understand how to handle the conflicting feelings coursing through her. Now, standing with Luca on her hip, his pudgy little hand in hers, his thick mop of dark hair standing on end, she had another unfamiliar sensation to contend with. A tug at her heart and something else deep inside her. Luca touched her lips, and she instinctively puckered, kissing his little fingers. She sank down into one of the chairs and turned him on her lap, gazing into his dark eyes. It had been ages since she’d held a baby. Her cousin Treat and his wife, Max, had a little girl, Adriana, and she smothered that little cutie with love every time she saw her, but she’d never experienced the desire to have her own children as strongly as she was feeling at that very second. She imagined her babies with Dae’s eyes, his silky hair, and his full lips. She even dared to imagine Dae carrying a baby—their baby—in his strong arms, watching everyone who came near, protecting their child.
She gazed down at Luca and wondered how he’d set off her biological clock. She brushed his hair from his face, thinking about Serafina and Dante. She wondered what Dante looked like. Was he still alive, out there somewhere far away, injured or hiding from insurgents? Was he thinking of this adorable little boy and his lovely wife, or was he solely focused on his own survival?
“Thank you, Emily.” Serafina joined her on the patio and reached for Luca.
Emily kissed his forehead and inhaled his sweet baby scent one last time. Her arms felt empty without his weight. Her thoughts went to Dae, and she wondered if he wanted children. She’d always known she wanted a large family, but she’d never really contemplated when she’d have kids, much less with whom. A fictitious husband was always in the
wings somewhere. Nameless. Faceless. Timeless.
Now she pictured Dae’s wispy hair and his whisker-peppered chin. It was his eyes gazing back at her from the no-longer-faceless-husband void.
“Are you sure you don’t want to take a walk with us?” Serafina asked, pulling Emily’s attention back to the present.
“Yes, thank you. I’m sure. I have some things I want to do.”
“Okay. Thanks again for watching Luca. Enjoy your evening.”
“Thanks, Serafina.” Emily gave Luca’s foot a little squeeze, then watched them disappear around the side of the house.
She retrieved the memo pads and crossed the yard to the patio where she and Dae had shared their first bottle of wine. It seemed like ages ago and just yesterday at the same time. She’d been so nervous that night, and now she couldn’t imagine a life without him. Love. Even when she was wishing and hoping to find love, she’d never imagined that it would have this big of an effect on her thoughts and her life. The feelings she had for Dae were bigger than even those she felt for her family. She adored her family, but she didn’t crave being with them. Her breathing didn’t become shallow and happy tingles didn’t fill her chest at the thought of going home and seeing them for dinner or a barbecue. But wow! Thoughts of Dae turned her body into a sizzling, swooning pile of mush.
The breeze had picked up since that afternoon, and the air felt damp, as though it might rain. She folded her arms over her chest, remembering the night they’d met and how she’d lost her ability to think. The feeling had been so unexpected that it had knocked her senseless. She stepped onto the patio, which looked different from the way it had that night. How had she missed the carvings in the wooden table where they’d sat? The deep grooves were crusted over and sloppily etched. She looked up and realized that the wisteria she’d been so taken with had a gaping hole between the vines toward the far corner of the latticework. The floor of the patio was littered with boot prints and leaves. She hadn’t noticed much of anything that night beyond the swell of desire when their legs brushed against one another, the smell of his masculinity, and how hard she had to try to remember to breathe.
She set her memo pad on the table and sat down with his. She ran her fingers over the top, thinking about what he might have written. What if he’d written demolish for everything they saw?
She flipped open the cover and the first page was blank. She turned the page and then the next and the next. They were all blank. What the hell? She went through every damn page and they were all blank, except the very last page, where Dae had written, Sometimes the value of something can’t be seen with the naked eye. I could no sooner make a judgment call about demolishing these things than I could about tearing down the House of Wishes without proper research.
That was it.
What the hell?
She picked up her memo pad and scanned the things she’d written. She’d made those judgment calls without hesitation. What was there to research? The dilapidated barn? Why wouldn’t you tear down the barn and build a new one? She could see, even from a distance, that the barn was in such bad disrepair it would have been wiser to tear it down. And the sunflower field? How could anyone demolish something so beautiful? Was there even a question?
From the road, the House of Wishes looked like just a house, too.
Oh. Shit.
Chapter Twenty-Three
DAE SAT IN his favorite leather chair in his home office, his elbows perched on his knees, palms pressed to his forehead. It had been a long, hot afternoon. He’d had a shitty meeting with Frank, and he didn’t have any idea what he was going to tell Emily. He knew what she wanted to hear, and he couldn’t make assurances that he wasn’t certain he could keep. He glanced at the clock. His gut knotted a little more with every minute that ticked by. Emily had to be up early for her flight tomorrow and it was already after eleven o’clock in Italy. There was no more putting it off. He clicked the Skype video call icon and waited with his heart in his throat as the progress meter circled endlessly. Finally, Emily’s deep brown eyes smiled back at him, pushing some of his unease away. He missed her so much. He swallowed against his rising emotions.
‘There’s my girl. I’m sorry for calling so late.”
“That’s okay. It’s so good to see you. I hate being apart.” She wore a peach negligee that hung loosely from her shoulders. Her hair was tousled, as if she’d been lying down before he called, and her eyes had a very seductive edge to them. Or maybe it was his own desires reflecting back in them. Either way, it was torture not being close enough to touch her.
“Me too, babe. Me too. How’s your ankle holding up?”
“Fine. I haven’t had any more problems. Gosh, Dae. I knew I missed you, but seeing you...I mean, I really miss you. I wish I could crawl through the computer and kiss you.”
“If only...I feel the same way. You have a way of steaming up a guy.”
Her eyes darkened. “I have a way of steaming you up. That’s all that matters.”
“Baby, you have no idea.” He had half a mind to have a little video sexcapade with Emily, but he was too conflicted about the property to think straight. And he could pleasure himself to thoughts and images of her all he wanted. Neither would ever come close to what he felt when he was buried deep inside her, feeling her heart beating against his, and kissing her luscious lips.
He exhaled loudly and ran his fingers through his hair to try to ground his thoughts. “Tomorrow can’t come soon enough.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind picking me up? I can ask one of my brothers or Daisy to come get me if you’re busy.”
“I’ll be there, and I’m never too busy for you, Em. Ever.”
That earned him a smile that warmed him all over.
“I loved the gifts you left for me. And the vineyard was beautiful. I wish you could have been there with me.”
“I’m so glad you went, and I was psyched to see that you found the other gift I left in the field.”
“Oh, I almost forgot. I have a bone to pick with you, Mr. Bray.” She narrowed her eyes, but her smile remained.
“Pick away, baby.”
“You didn’t write your preserve or demolish list. You tricked me.”
“No, I didn’t. I wrote what I felt to be true. Did you read yours? I didn’t think we were that far apart in our beliefs.”
She rolled her eyes and pointed at him. He had to laugh. She was trying to be tough, but she was cute as hell.
“How were we not miles apart? I wrote down demolish the barn and preserve the field.”
“And I was undecided, so it could go either way. That’s not very far apart.”
“You are impossible.”
“Ha! Totally a sure thing, babe, and when you get back home, I’ll prove just how sure of a thing I am.” He let his words sink in, loving the instant heat that filled her eyes. “What if the sunflower field was full of venomous snakes? People could get bitten, and you never know who might run into it.”
“That’s a little far-fetched, but yeah, I see your point. A little research goes a long way, right? I get it. I understand why you wrote what you did. I just…this whole thing is hard for me.”
He leaned closer to the screen, wanting to be nearer to her. So much nearer that he, too, wished he could climb through the damn computer and kiss her.
“I know. It’s hard for me, too.”
Silence stretched between them with longing in their eyes.
“How did your meeting go? Did you make any decisions about the House of Wishes?”
For the first time in years, Dae wanted to tell a bold-faced lie. Yeah, I’m going to back out of the job. But when he looked into Emily’s trusting eyes, he felt her heart resting in his hands. He could no sooner lie to her than he could lie to himself.
“It didn’t go well, Em. He’s set on tearing it down, and this is my job, you know?”
“I know. I’m not asking you to give up the job. I realize that you’ll probably tear it down. I under
stand that now. I’m just…I don’t know. I’ve become so attached to the myth and what it means to the women here that I thought it might be easier to deal with the final decision while I’m here, you know?”
He knew damn well. Emily would give her heart to save others sadness. But he also knew that she had in fact become more than just attached to the myth. She’d become enamored with it. He’d seen it in her eyes that night they’d slept in the room with the tree. He heard it in her voice, and he’d felt the energy of something bigger than both of them. He’d tried to deny it all day, but his mind kept circling back to it. He could no sooner deny what he’d felt in that room than he could deny his love for Emily.
“I know. I’m still working things out in my own mind. I’ve never really had to consider so many people’s feelings with respect to my job before. This is all new to me. I mean, how many people become attached to skyscrapers or five-tiered parking garages?” He scrubbed his hand down his face to try to resolve his conflicting emotions. “I’m on the fence about the whole thing, Em, and not just because of you. I’m not a coldhearted person.”
“I never said you were. You’re just the opposite.”
“Yeah. More than you know.”
Her voice softened. “I know how thoughtful you are, Dae. It’s evident in everything you do. I don’t think you’re coldhearted at all. But a job is a job, and I realize that there has to be a line between personal feelings and your career. I’m sorry if I’ve put you in an awkward position. That was unfair of me.”
“It wasn’t unfair of you, Em. I love that you care so much about the women there and that you believe in something so…so…big?” He’d wanted to say powerful or magical, but both words seemed strange, and big seemed too small for the energy he’d felt in that room. “You’ve become everything to me, Em, and this struggle of right and wrong with regard to this property isn’t a bad thing. It’s not about what’s right or wrong with us. We’re separate. Our relationship will always be a separate entity from my work.”