Solace

by Raven Dark

  I snorted.

  “I’ll enlist them as soon as someone relieves me here on watch. Who do you want with us?”

  I shrugged. “I say Grim and Blade are a good choice, along with four of your men. Both of them seem to have hit it off with the Brothers of Brimstone, and Blade is a devil in a fight.”

  “Bear will want to come as well. He adores Setora, and he’d jump at the chance to protect her. Plus he hates knowing that he wasn’t there when Crash died. Doc is coming too, I take it?”

  “Of course.” I looked at my glass, saw it was empty, and set it on the nightstand.

  “Good.” Hawk glanced at Setora, smoothing her hair back. He bent and pressed his lips to her forehead, then stood up again. “I’ll get Steel to take over. I’ll speak to Blade and the others now.”

  “Let Steel have a break. I’ll stay with her.”

  When Hawk left, I grabbed some of my paperwork and settled down to work beside Setora on the bed. I’d only read over a few of my ledgers before someone rapped on the doors to my quarters. I heard the knocking echo through the otherwise empty rooms.

  I left Gore with Setora and answered the main doors to find T-Man standing in the hall.

  “Sorry to interrupt, General. You got a minute?”

  “Sure.” I moved aside to let him in and shut the doors behind him. “What’s up, pal?”

  My Executioner cleared his throat awkwardly. T-Man paused, pressing his lips together and twirling one of the silver rings on his fingers.

  Puzzled by his unusual hesitation, I gestured for him to follow me to the other side of my sitting room where I was still easily within earshot of Setora and Gore.

  “Word is, you and the others are leaving the Grotto with the Brothers of Brimstone as soon as the Brothers are patched in. To find this Julian that’s been getting into her head.”

  “Yes. I expect you’ll want to join us.”

  “Well, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

  I leaned on the side of the desk and waited for him to continue.

  “You know the Brothers of Brimstone have been asking me to join them in Devil’s Breath, General.”

  “Yeah, I know.” I raised a brow at him. I could see it in his eyes what was coming. “You’ve decided to go.”

  He blew out a breath. “Yes, sir. Pretty Boy said you’re headed to see the Angels of Mayhem. Look, General, I know my timing sucks donkey balls. You’ve already lost men, and everything’s gone cattywampus with this whole Julian thing. The last thing you need is for someone else to leave the club now. I’ll go with you to Hollow Hill. But when the Brothers of Brimstone leave for Devil’s Breath—”

  “Go.”

  He held out his hands. “It’s just that, since Crash and Latch and Pup—what?”

  “I get it, T-Man. You can go.”

  His brows pulled together. “General, are you sure?”

  “Yes. I know it’s not been easy for you here since what happened. The Brothers of Brimstone are like family to you.”

  “I need a change of pace. To clear my head. And Ash and his boys need—”

  “I know. You don’t owe me an explanation, T-Man. I hate to lose you, but the truth is, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your going with them. It’s true, Ash needs all the help he can get rebuilding. And we need someone to act as a liaison between our chapters, someone who’s familiar with how we do things, someone I trust.”

  His face broke into the first real smile I’d seen since we’d come back to the Grotto. “Thank you, General.”

  “Of course.” I stood and clasped his hand in a firm shake. “You’ll keep us up to date on what’s happening there?”

  “Yes, General.”

  “You’re in for a tough time there, though, and not only because of the Wolves. The way Sinister talks about it, they’re about to fall apart at the seams. You won’t have the comforts and security you have here. The Grotto’s isolation means we don’t face the same dangers as other clubs. And there is no pussy there to make the work more bearable.”

  “I know what I’m getting into General. Sinister and the others told me all about what’s been happening since I was last there. I’m ready for it. All of it.”

  “Good man. We’re heading out tomorrow. Be ready.”

  “I will. I’ll go let Sinister and the others know.” He was halfway to the doors when another knock sounded outside them.

  “Come in,” I said.

  Cherry walked in and moved to shut the doors behind her until she saw T-Man. Her eyes lifted way up to his. She froze in place, stiffening as if someone had electrocuted her. T-Man rumbled something at her I didn’t catch, walked awkwardly around her, and left the room. Cherry watched him depart the way one might watch a hungry grizzly bear walk back to its cage.

  After all this time, over five years, and Cherry still hadn’t let go of the past? T-Man’s actions with her back then had been necessary. What he’d done to her would have shaken anyone, but it had been the only way to save her. All of us, including T-Man, had made it clear he’d been acting in her best interest and that any pain he caused her had been unavoidable, and yet years later, she still couldn’t so much as get within ten feet of him without behaving as if she expected him to bite her.

  “Setora’s still asleep, Cherry. Keep the visit short.” I started for my bedroom, meaning to let her in. She rarely came to my rooms, so I assumed she was there to see her friend.

  “Sir. I’m…” She drew a deep breath. Worry for Setora flickered in her eyes as she glanced at my bedroom doors. Then her jaw set firmly. “I’m not here for her, sir. I came to talk to you.”

  “Oh? What about?”

  Cherry ran her hand through her russet hair. “Sir, I don’t know how to say this.”

  I frowned. It wasn’t like Cherry to be so anxious, but since she’d found out about Crash, in the rare times she came out of the slave quarters, she almost always looked broken down, like half the life had been sucked out of her. She looked a little thinner, her clothing too loose; someone had said T-Man had been all but forcing her to eat, and thank fuck, otherwise I had a feeling she’d have wasted away.

  I crossed to the middle of the room to her. “What’s wrong?”

  She closed her eyes for a moment like she was bracing herself. “My timing is probably as bad as bad gets, but…”

  When I only waited for her to go on, she looked at the floor. “Um.” Then her shoulders squared, and she looked at me. “I need to leave, sir.”

  “What do you mean, leave?”

  “I mean the Grotto. I can’t stay here.”

  I ran my palms down my face. I should have seen this coming. “Cherry.”

  “No, hear me out, sir. Look, I have no intention of leaving Setora right now. Not with what’s happening to her. But as soon as she’s recovered and Julian is dealt with, I need to go away for a while.”

  I crossed my arms. “Cherry, I get it. I know you’re hurting. But it will pass. Let yourself grieve. Give yourself time to heal.”

  “Sir, I’m sorry. But that’s just it, I don’t think it will pass. I know the last thing you need is anyone deserting the club.” Her eyes were full of pain. “It’s just that everywhere I look, all I see is him.”

  “Crash.”

  She looked away. I could see how hard it was for her to admit something that I knew, for Cherry, seemed like a weakness.

  “That’s why I have to leave, sir. I need time. To heal.” She looked at the floor again. Hiding her emotions, then adding much more softly, “It hurts too much just being here.”

  Perhaps she expected me to tell her to suck it up, because she never begged for anything. A month ago, I might have done so. Before everything changed. Before Setora.

  Ordinarily, a slave never told a master she needed anything, but we’d never treated Cherry quite the same way as other slaves, partly because of her relation to Dice and his role as the one-time General.

  “Have a seat, Cherry,” I said quietly, nod
ding to my desk.

  Cherry followed me over. I took my high-backed chair behind the desk and she pulled up another chair, sitting opposite me.

  “Where would you go?” I asked carefully.

  “I have a relative up north. An uncle, near Osgard. Dice got a letter from him. He’s had an accident on his farm and lost most of his sight. He needs the help out there.”

  “Is he that Uncle Gordon that Dice talks about? The one he doesn’t like?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Cherry, I’m not letting you go off to live with some man I’ve never met, especially one Dice hates. I get that its hard being here, but you’re safe here. I’d like to keep you that way. Besides, what about Dice? He needs you.”

  “I won’t leave forever, Sheriff.” Her face reddened when I raised my brow at her use of my name. “You guys are my family, and Setora is my friend. But Dice has friends here to care for him. Gretle takes over a lot of my duties, and she enjoys caring for him. Setora can hold down the fort without me once she recovers. She’d make a perfect Head of Slaves. I need time away. Please. Sir.”

  I heaved a sigh. “I still don’t like the idea of you being out there with only Gordon to keep an eye on you. From what Dice says, he’s getting up there in age, and he likes his whiskey a little too much.”

  “He’s harmless, sir.”

  “That may be, but you’re not going there. Not now, and not without protection. You have no idea how crazy this world has become while we’ve been holed up here.”

  “Sir.” She looked hard at me. “I understand what you’re saying. Please don’t make me stay here.”

  “I didn’t say you had to.”

  She gave me a confused look.

  “If you are sure you want to leave, you can go, but you’re going with people who can protect you.”

  “I don’t understand, sir.”

  “The Brothers of Brimstone are leaving with us when we meet with the Angels of Mayhem. If you still wish to leave, you may go to Devil’s Breath with them.”

  “Devil’s Breath? Why would you want me there?”

  “Because. There are no women there to keep house. The men will be far too busy with this Iron Wolf business to attend to domestic tasks. They need someone to take care of things.”

  “I…” She paused, absorbing my words. I thought I saw something that looked like intrigue in her eyes. “I see.”

  “In the morning, a group of us are leaving to follow up on a lead that may help Setora. You’ll come with us. We won’t bring Diamond or Emmy this time, so Setora will need a friend with her. The Brothers of Brimstone are coming with us, then heading back home. If you still wish to leave us, you’ll go with them. If they want to take you to help out Uncle Gordon, they can bring you out there, but that’s the only way you’re going out there.”

  Her jaw hardened with determination. She opened her mouth to speak, by the relieved look on her face, to agree, but I held up my hand.

  “Before you say anything, there’s a few things you need to know.”

  “Sir?”

  “First, as I told T-Man, Devil’s Breath won’t be a fucking walk in the park. It’s a lot more dangerous there than here. The Iron Wolves MC has made a mess of things out there. Which means you will have a lot of work ahead of you, keeping things in order for them.”

  “If they need my help, I’m happy to give it.”

  “Not so fast. You need to understand, Cherry. I’ve given you a lot of leeway since we brought you back here to Dice. Devil’s Breath will bring a much harder life. They won’t give you the same latitude. I think this change will be good for you. You need to start accepting your place in this world. Coddling and sheltering you in the Grotto is harming you more than helping. It’s time you left the nest and grew up, Cherry. The Brothers of Brimstone—well, soon to be the Dark Legion—will make sure that happens, I think.”

  Her eyes widened. I watched the implications sink in, saw her lips compress hard on my last words. I couldn’t help a slight smile at her visibly fighting not to mouth me off at me.

  “I mean it, girl. By the time we leave here tomorrow, they’ll be wearing the Legion’s patch. They are the Legion. If you go with them, that means you will belong to them. They will take care of you, but you’ll have to do everything they say. Don’t make me regret sending you with them.”

  For a moment, she looked like she was weighing what I said. Weighing what might be expected of her. Her face set. “You won’t regret it, sir.” Her tone was tight.

  “Good. They are good men. I trust them, otherwise I wouldn’t be sending you with them. But there’s one more thing.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  I couldn’t help feeling a twisted twinge of pleasure knowing what I had to say next. It was time she finally dealt with her fear, and she’d handed me the perfect opportunity to make her deal with it. Handed it to me on a silver platter.

  “T-Man. He’s going with them.”

  Cherry’s soft face lost nearly all its color. Her jaw clenched, probably to keep from swearing at me. “You waited to spring that on me, didn’t you, sir?”

  I held in a laugh.

  Her green eyes flashed. Then her shoulders dropped. “I’d rather deal with him for a few months out there than stay in the Grotto, sir. I need to get my head on straight, and I can’t do it here. But how do you know they’ll want me with them? Don’t you need to ask them first?”

  “Oh, they will. Trust me. I have a feeling they need you out there more than they’d ever let on. Having said all that, are you sure this is what you want?”

  She closed her eyes again. Then she opened them and nodded. “It is, sir.”

  “Good.” I stood. “It’s done, then. I’ll let the Brothers of Brimstone know. I want everyone packed and ready to go in case we need to leave sooner. You can go and start helping the others pack.”

  “Sir.”

  Cherry was just turning to leave when Gore opened my bedroom door and stepped out.

  “General. Setora’s awake. She’s asking for you.”

  Chapter 17

  Breaking Down

  Voices.

  Consciousness seeped in, and for a moment, my whole world seemed to be little more than distant, muffled voices and slivers of light. The blackness lifted gradually, darkness that faded like a slowly lifting shadow chased away by sunlight.

  I am the Light they cannot see.

  I was returning to the waking world. The thought dawned, bringing with it a nearly dizzying relief. The darkness that had, moments ago, held me in its grip, scared the living daylights out of me. There was something in that darkness, something that shouldn’t be there, lurking just outside the boundaries of the waking world, in the place where the rules of reality no longer kept one safe.

  I am the Light they cannot see.

  Those words echoed, the remnants of a bad memory—or were they real?

  Consciousness solidified, and the voices, ones that sounded like they were coming from another room, became clearer. Their reality grounded me, the somehow normal sound of them letting me know I was home. Safe. Awake and alive.

  I blinked open my eyes to the low lighting of someone’s bedroom.

  “Master.” My own voice came out a croak. I wasn’t sure which of my Four I was asking for. It didn’t matter, I just needed to see them. “Master?”

  Someone got up from a chair. I heard it creak, and then a door opened. I lifted my head in time to see Gore stepping out of the General’s bedroom. Dizziness swam through my head and I laid back on soft pillows.

  “General,” Gore said. “Setora’s awake. She’s asking for you.”

  “Cherry, go get Doc.” Sheriff’s voice. “You can see Setora later.”

  His normally gruff tone sounded uncommonly gentle before he stepped into the room. Gore followed him, shut the doors, and took up position there.

  How had I ended up here? When I tried to remember what had happened before the darkness, there was only a jumble of images, som
e of which couldn’t be real. A swinging crystal. A huge fortress of steel exploding. And a woman, a beautiful woman, drenched in sunlight, reaching for me. Calling for me, needing me.

  Sheriff was at my side, sitting on the bed in an instant. His hand squeezed mine. “I’m here, Setora. I’m here. You’re safe.”

  Some of the tension left of me. I realized why I’d needed to see him now. I’d hurt him somehow. Except when I looked at him, he seemed fine. He looked as strong and sturdy as ever, a rock of leadership and security. The idea that I could have hurt a man like him seemed ridiculous.

  “Master, what—”

  Doc stepped in. Gore shut the doors and faced the room, remaining standing beside the entrance, his hands clasped behind his back.

  “Setora. Welcome back.” His grey eyes filled with relief, Doc gave me a familiar warm smile as he crossed the room, setting his medical kit on the dresser.

  I tried to sit up, but that same dizziness overwhelmed me, forcing me to lie back down with a groan. “Doc, what happened?”

  “Don’t try to move too much.” He set his hand on my shoulder, keeping me still.

  I glanced between him and Sheriff, not liking the close, careful way Sheriff was watching me, as if he expected me to sprout another arm at any moment.

  “Master? Doc? What’s going on?”

  The two men exchanged a look.

  “That’s going to take some time to fully explain, but you had a seizure,” Doc said a little too carefully. “How do you feel?”

  “Another one?” Instinctively, I tried to sit up again, ignoring the wooziness the movement caused.

  Sheriff gently pushed my shoulders back down. “Just stay still, all right?”

  “How long have I been out?”

  “A little more than a full day, but that’s normal for someone who’s had a seizure.” Doc took a biolight, a stethoscope, and a blood pressure cuff from his kit. He sat beside me on the bed and shined the light into each of my eyes. “How are you feeling?”

  “Dizzy. Tired. A little shaky.” My voice came out hoarse, and I cleared my dry throat.

  “That’s also normal after what’s happened. You’ll probably sleep a lot more before you’re feeling well again. Are you experiencing any nausea or a headache?”