by Ally James
He approached it cautiously and stared down at the return address label. It was from her—his Sara. The possessiveness of his train of thought should have had him freaking out, but he didn’t feel any panic. Rationally, he was aware that the woman in North Carolina whom he’d never met in person didn’t belong to him, but he gave himself a pass since you tended to live in your own type of world while you were deployed. Damn, I sound like one of the newbies here. Lovesick and irrational. Again, he let it go. Everyone was allowed to lose their shit at least once, weren’t they?
He felt a grin pulling at his lips as he stared at the package she’d sent him. He almost hated to open it since the cardboard was like artwork. He suspected that the drawings were done by her niece. Either that or Sara was strictly at the stick figure talent level, just as he was. There was what appeared to be a dog, a cat, a house, a butterfly, and the sun. There were also some Charlie Brown stickers similar to the ones she’d used on her Easter card envelope.
Grabbing a pair of box cutters, he carefully sliced through the tape, and the edges seemed to burst apart. When an individual package of Oreos popped out, he had to exert considerable control to keep from ripping it apart like a wild dog. As he sorted through all the items she’d included, he was beyond touched at how much thought and effort she’d put into the package. Not only had she bought what he’d mentioned, but she’d also added about a dozen other types of things as well. Many were in zippered baggies, he suspected to save space by removing them from bigger containers. How on earth Sara had guessed that socks were something he desperately wanted was beyond him. She listens. She listens to more than my words. There were bases with large stores, but the one here was pretty limited and didn’t carry a lot. There was also a small bag of toiletries and miscellaneous items such as eye drops, allergy cream, hand lotion, and Chapstick. He’d mentioned how tasteless the food was, so she’d included a couple of containers of various spices as well as hot sauce. Then an assortment of protein bars, trail mix, and even Rice Krispies Treats. He wasn’t in the market for a wife, but if she were here right now, he’d be damned tempted to drop to one knee and pop the question. This was quite possibly the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him. And her thoughtfulness and generosity were yet more reasons why he was so captivated by her.
Since their first FaceTime chat several weeks back, it had become almost a daily routine for them. Due to the time difference, sometimes it was brief, but even five minutes made his day. Their conversations flowed so easily. He found himself opening up as he never had with another person. Naturally, he knew a big part of it was the ability to relax, thanks to the distance between them. There was no awkward first date in a restaurant sitting inches apart. Or wondering if he should go in for the goodnight kiss or wait. Everything like that was taken out of the equation. And with it, he was able to simply enjoy the witty, beautiful woman with the sparkling green eyes, sexy Southern accent, and infectious laugh.
His troops had long since grown bored with teasing him about his improved mood, although they did jokingly send their thanks to Sara for making him less of an asshole. He’d have been offended if it weren’t basically true. He was a better person with her in the picture. Thinking of her had him picking up his phone to send her a text:
GABE: Hey, guess what I got? He took a quick picture of the package and attached it.
SARA: Yay! It finally got there. Do you like all the things I included? Since you wouldn’t give me any ideas other than Doritos and Oreos, I had to guess.
GABE: You did an amazing job. I didn’t want you to feel obligated to buy a ton of stuff. I’d have been happy with anything from you. But this . . . seriously, you made my day. Thank you so much.
SARA: My pleasure. You probably figured out that Kaylee helped me. She insisted on handling the decorating.
GABE: Sure, blame it on the kid. It’s OK that you can’t draw a straight line, sweetheart. I still like you.
SARA: Lol! That’s good, because I have absolutely no talent in that area. But . . . it wasn’t me. I did get a few weird looks at the post office, though. Probably because the dog on the back looks like it has a penis hanging out. I’m pretty sure that was meant to be a long, floppy ear instead . . .
Gabe flipped the box around searching for the drawing in question. Then he saw it and started laughing. It did indeed resemble a dick, remarkably so. He wondered how he’d missed it the first time.
GABE: Ha-ha, I found it! That kid is something else. She’s got a bright future ahead doing nudes if she decides to pursue an art degree.
He was awaiting her response when his door opened. He glanced up to see Jason standing there, frowning. It felt like déjà vu, and he had a sinking feeling there had been another accident.
GABE: Gotta run. Back when I can.
It was abrupt and he knew she’d be concerned, but it couldn’t be helped. As much as he loved talking to her, he was a soldier first, and could immediately switch into his role of major, which was an absolute necessity in moments like these. He knew she understood, but it reminded him once again why he’d never wanted to have someone at home who would worry about him, and vice versa. There was no pulling back now, though. Right or wrong, he was falling for her. He had no clue how what was happening between them would translate in the real world when he left Iraq, but he was more certain each day that he wanted to find out. As he was walking beside Jason to the front gate checkpoint, it hit him: I called her “sweetheart.” And that was the last thought that crossed his mind before all hell broke loose.
* * *
• • •
She’d been mildly apprehensive when Gabe ended their conversation earlier that morning without their usual drawn-out good-bye. But she knew that there were a lot of demands on his time on base. She figured he’d likely been interrupted by someone and hadn’t had the privacy to say more. That had been eight hours ago. She was careful not to be one of those people who texted constantly. He always contacted her when his schedule allowed, and other than saying good morning and good night, she generally waited for him. But she’d texted him three hours ago when she hadn’t heard anything. And once more a few hours later. And none of those messages were marked as read yet. Which was really worrisome. Because even when he couldn’t stop to respond right that moment, he usually read her texts fairly quickly. He’d explained that very thing to her a while back.
Nicole had been out on a girls’ night, so it had been just Sara, Chris, and Kaylee for dinner. She’d been so distracted, Chris had asked her if she was alright. He’d had to repeat the question a few times before he nudged her arm with his hand. She’d assured him she was simply tired, but he didn’t seem convinced. She knew her family had noticed the changes in her the last few months since she’d met Gabe. Considering how invisible they made her feel at times, it was rather surprising how quickly they picked up on her newfound happiness. Her mother had inquired if she’d met a man. Not wanting to lie, she’d laughed it off. You’ve fallen for him without the courtship.
Even her self-absorbed sister-in-law questioned whether she’d changed her makeup or done something different with her hair. When Sara said no, Nicole had shrugged, as if the conversation hadn’t been worthy of any further consideration. Yes, indeed, she might as well be carrying around a sign that said she had a secret crush. She wondered if Gabe had picked up on her growing feelings. She wasn’t brave enough to put them into words or ask him if maybe he was experiencing the same thing. But she didn’t try to hide the fact that he was very important to her. He might not realize it, but he treated her in a similar manner. Everyone in his office seemed to know of her. He’d often comment on mentioning something she’d said to people there. It was as if they were an official item. They’d grown so close that she was almost surprised each time she pondered the fact that they’d never been together in person. He had made mention a few times recently, though, of taking that step when his deploy
ment ended. He’d even jokingly invited her to Alaska to visit him. She felt that he’d been intentionally testing her reaction to see if she was agreeable to it.
She was pulled from her thoughts by a soft snore coming from Kaylee’s small body. She’d been sitting beside her after reading her a story. Normally it would have taken much longer to lull her into sleep, but apparently Sara’s preoccupation had taken care of it. Poor kid, she knew she had been a bit distracted lately, but luckily the different time zones meant that her schedule with Kaylee wasn’t really affected by her time with Gabe. She walked to her room and shut the door behind her before grabbing her iPad and sitting on the bed. She quickly typed in the name of Gabe’s base in Iraq, as she did on a regular basis, and scanned Google for any recent news. And there it was, in bold headlines from an hour earlier. SUICIDE BOMBER KILLS THREE. DOZENS INJURED. Sara felt a wave of dizziness assail her. He’s fine. Just busy dealing with the chaos. Yet even as she tried to convince herself, the reality of how easily she could lose him hit her with an intensity that took her breath away. How could she allow herself to love a man whose job put him in harm’s way on a daily basis? She had to wonder if she was strong enough to even attempt it. If she was already having these kinds of doubts, what did that say about their future, if it should come to that? Didn’t a man that brave deserve a woman strong enough to stand by his side? The voice in her head said that if she had to ask, then she wasn’t really the one for him . . . nor would she ever be.
Chapter Ten
One again he’d disappeared on her, and all he could think of was letting her know he was okay. It had been a couple of days since he’d been abruptly pulled away. And even if the comms hadn’t been taken off-line, he doubted he’d have had a second to contact her. It had been absolute insanity since a suicide bomber had managed to get through the front gate and take three soldiers out with him, and injure another fifteen. Only three casualties were from American troops, but the whole incident was entirely unacceptable. The base had been crawling with bigwigs from the United States and their coalition partners. He’d been in meeting after meeting, as every single move from the days before had been questioned and new safeguards put into place. It felt like too little, too late, but that was the nature of the beast. For every hole they plugged, the enemy came up with another dozen to get around them.
It was morning for him, so it was nighttime in the States. There was a good chance he’d miss her altogether, but at least she’d have a message waiting when she woke up.
GABE: Hey, Sara. I just read your texts. You’re right, sweetheart, we were off-line again here. I’m sorry it has taken so long to get back to you. Are you awake?
He sat there staring at the screen of his phone, hoping to see the indication that she’d read the message, but so far there was nothing. Come on, be there, please. He was considering sending another, hoping she might have her alert on and the sound would wake her. Normally he tried to keep from disturbing her this late, but damn, he’d missed her so much.
SARA: Gabe! I’ve been worried about you. I saw an article in the paper earlier about what happened over there. Are you all right?
GABE: Oh, sweetheart, I’m fine. I wish I could have gotten word to you. I hated to think of you being upset. I know we discussed the fact that things like this happen, but I realize that’s of little comfort when you have no way to confirm that I’m uninjured.
SARA: I did know that, but I got a little nervous when I read that story.
GABE: I’m sure I would have felt the same way in your position.
SARA: I’m relieved to talk to you. And don’t be concerned about me when and if this type of thing happens. I’ll be fine. I know you need to keep your focus on what’s happening around you.
GABE: Thanks, sweetheart. I . . . missed you. More than you know.
SARA: Aw, same here. You’re such a part of my world now that things weren’t the same without you.
GABE: You realize that by the time I head home, we won’t be able to tie our shoes without talking to each other about it first, right?
SARA: Lol, you’ve got a point there. We may need an intervention.
GABE: Or a plane ticket.
He couldn’t help noticing the prolonged pause after his last comment. Damn, he wanted to see her, to hug her. Of course, he couldn’t deny the physical attraction, but that was secondary at this point. He’d never rush her into that until he was sure she was ready. Naturally he understood that a woman couldn’t be too careful, and he was more than willing to put whatever safety measures in place that would help her feel more secure. I can’t believe I’m the one pushing for a face-to-face. I don’t do complicated, and there’s no way this would be easy. Just the distance between their homes would make a relationship extremely difficult.
SARA: I really want that. I can’t imagine you being back in the States and us not meeting.
GABE: Then we’ll make it happen. Hey, sweetheart, I’ve gotta run. I have a briefing in 10. And you need your sleep. We can FaceTime tomorrow when we both have some privacy. Sleep well, beautiful.
SARA: Thanks. Be safe. Good night.
Gabe quickly gathered together what he needed for his daily meeting and hurried out of his office. He’d always been the person who was early to everything. But since meeting Sara, he wasn’t late, but he damn sure was no longer the first to arrive. It’s called having a life outside the military. But with the good, there was also the bad. And today that came in the form of guilt. He felt like shit for the worry he’d obviously caused her the last few days. It was exactly the reason he was still single. Worse than that, though, was the warm feeling it had given him to know she cared enough to be apprehensive. I’m such an ass. She’d also been agreeable to meeting in person when he returned stateside. He’d let that ride for a while. He was grounded enough in reality to understand that their connection was fragile and could be derailed far too easily. He certainly wasn’t going to make travel arrangements this early in the game. That was too much pressure on both of them. But he was more excited than he’d have thought at the possibility of taking what was happening between them to the next level if all continued to go well.
“The smiling thing is getting downright creepy,” Jason said as he took a seat next to Gabe.
“Don’t be jealous, honey, you’re still my favorite,” Gabe murmured under his breath, causing the other man to laugh.
Jason batted his eyes in a pathetic feminine imitation. “I’ve moved on. Donaldson makes me feel pretty.”
Sergeant Matt Donaldson shrugged his shoulders, going along with the banter. “What can I say, I know how to make ’em happy, Major.”
“That’s not what I heard,” Warrant Officer Chris Camron tossed out from across the table. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have received a care package containing nothing but packing peanuts.”
“She forgot to put the other stuff inside,” Matt argued. “It was an oversight, that’s all.”
“Yeah, right, and that didn’t occur to her until you received the box weeks later? Shouldn’t she have noticed some stuff sitting around?” Chris asked skeptically.
Jason shook his head before pointing to Matt and saying, “Dude, I hope she’s hot, because she’s obviously not the sharpest crayon in the pack.”
As the banter continued for a few more moments, Gabe couldn’t help thinking how irritating he used to find this type of thing. He’d wanted everyone to blow off steam on their own time and not when he was ready to get down to business. Although he still had those moments occasionally, he found that now he was better able to connect with his soldiers on a personal level because he was less rigid. That didn’t mean that he’d allow anyone to slack off, but he would joke around at times and also share a meal with them instead of eating something at his desk while he worked. Regardless of whether he ever met Sara in person or not, he’d always be grateful for the ways in which her ki
ndness had improved the morale of the soldiers under his command. Then he took a moment to marvel at her words. She wasn’t even his girlfriend, yet she blew him away with her comprehension of his reality. Don’t be concerned about me when and if this type of thing happens. I’ll be fine. I know you need to keep your focus on what’s happening around you. Like the men and women who surrounded him daily, Sara Ryan had his back. And God, that felt incredible.
Chapter Eleven
Sara sat across the table from Chloe at her favorite Mexican restaurant. Nicole and Chris were going to a barbecue at Chris’s friend’s house, and since it was a family thing, they were taking Kaylee with them. They’d also invited Sara, but she declined, choosing to have dinner with Chloe instead. She figured that if she went with her brother and his wife, she’d end up babysitting all the little ones while the adults enjoyed some kid-free time. It had certainly happened before. The look on Nicole’s face had been priceless. The horror. She could almost hear her sister-in-law’s internal monologue: Sara’s not coming? This is meant to be my night off and she can’t give us that time? So not sorry. But tonight, she was in a mini-panic and needed advice.
“Wow, I can’t believe how quickly the time has gone by. You and Gabe have been talking for months now.”
“I know,” she marveled. “I sent him that card in April and he e-mailed me a few weeks after that. It’s been almost seven months.” And they’ve been the best of my life. He makes me so happy.
Chloe grimaced. “That beats my record. Maybe I need a pen pal too. So you’re beginning to freak out about it, aren’t you? Is he putting pressure on you now to meet him?”
