by Ally James
This was as close to a date as she’d come in years. Heck, she probably couldn’t have been much more excited had he proposed marriage. She didn’t have the app that he’d mentioned, but she’d been an Apple girl for years, so she was very familiar with the messaging program.
I’d love to do that. I do have an iPhone and the e-mail address I’ve being using is also my iMessage one, so use that. This is exciting!
She might have gone slightly overboard with that last sentence, but she wanted him to know that she had no reservations over talking to him in that way. Although it may have bordered more on desperate than anything else, but she wasn’t going to worry about it now. Just then her message indicator flashed, and she quickly opened it to see his name there.
GABE: Sara?
SARA: Yep, it’s me. Hey!
GABE: Thanks for doing this. I realize we’re strangers and you can’t be too careful these days, but since we’ve already been e-mailing . . .
SARA: I’m glad you suggested it. Are you already off work?
GABE: I’m never really off duty in the conventional sense here. I try to meet with the soldiers in a less formal environment when I can. So, I’ll buy them a cup of coffee and then talk about any issues they might be having. They’re more likely to open up away from the office.
SARA: Ah, that’s a good idea. I’m sorry about what happened there. I assume someone was either injured or killed?
GABE: Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m not at liberty to discuss it. I know people talk and word gets out, but I try to adhere to the rules. If you’d like to read about it, I imagine it’ll hit the news in the next day or so.
SARA: I get it. I should have guessed that. No offense taken, Gabe. Are you doing all right? You sounded kind of down in your e-mail earlier. I was worried about you.
GABE: No need to be concerned. Things like that never get easier, but you compartmentalize as best you can and focus on the job. Deployments are mentally and physically taxing, so you have to learn to shut out the stuff that’ll make it worse.
SARA: How long do you plan to stay in the Army? Do you have a number of years in mind or maybe a career goal?
GABE: I’m not exactly sure. I’ll be eligible for full retirement benefits when I hit the twenty-year mark. So that will definitely be happening. I wouldn’t mind making Lt. Colonel or even Colonel. But that’s not an absolute must. How about you? What will you do when your niece is older? Do you plan to stay on with them or maybe return to your previous profession?
SARA: That’s a good question. One I don’t have an answer to yet. I can say that I’ve been giving it a lot of thought lately and I know that I want to make some changes in the near future. I love Kaylee dearly, but she’s already in kindergarten.
GABE: I’m guessing what sounds simple will be anything but. You’ve been with her for a long time. It will be rather traumatic for both of you to be separated, won’t it?
SARA: You have no idea. I can’t imagine loving my own child any more than I do her. I’ve been right there to see her grow from a toddler to an amazingly funny, sweet, and loving little girl. Frankly, it will be pure hell not to be with her every day. But . . . she also needs to form a closer bond with her parents and that won’t happen while I’m there fulfilling that role.
GABE: Ah, gotcha. They’re content to sit back and let you handle all of her care? Do you do anything else for them or is your job strictly looking after your niece?
SARA: Lol, oh, I am the nanny, maid, personal assistant, and any other title you can think of at one time or another. But that’s a whole different story.
GABE: I hear that. Guess that’s the risk of working for family. What do you do when you’re not working? You get time off, right?
SARA: Oh sure. I hang out with friends. Take some weekend trips and stuff like that.
GABE: Hey, Sara, sorry to be so abrupt, but I’ve gotta run. I have a meeting at the other end of the base in ten minutes. I’ll hit you up later. Have a great day.
SARA: You too, Gabe. Bye.
She was absurdly giddy at their real-time chat and sad to see it end. She found him so easy to talk to. Of course, the fact that they weren’t face-to-face took the awkwardness away, but still, there hadn’t been any long pauses on either end. The only time she’d even hesitated had been over the flat-out lie she’d told about her social life. It sounded so damned pathetic to admit that she didn’t have one at all outside of spending time with her cousin. I sit at home every night. My best friend is a five-year-old. It made her wish she hadn’t told him about the whole spinster episode. Because now she felt as if she had to avoid being seen in that light by Gabe. Which sucked, because she didn’t like the dishonesty. But she also didn’t want him to see her as some pathetic homebody who had absolutely no life. How could a man as accomplished and obviously driven as he was respect her lack of ambition? Since when is it a bad thing not to be a bed-hopping party girl? But wasn’t there a fine line between too much socializing and not enough? He almost certainly had a lot of friends considering how many people likely worked at his base back home. Probably no shortage of women around either. She still had no clue what he looked like, but she hadn’t been kidding about the wonder-camouflage. Women were drawn to men in uniform, be it policemen, firemen, or soldiers. Geez, am I actually jealous? I’ve never even met this man in person. I have no right to feel possessive about someone I don’t know.
Glancing at her watch, she was surprised to see that she’d been in Starbucks for well over an hour. She got to her feet and tossed her empty cup away before making her way out into the mall. As she was walking toward the first store, she couldn’t help thinking that everything seemed brighter this morning. Gabe had changed her life for the better in such a short amount of time. There was a spring to her step that hadn’t been there for years, and a happiness in her heart that had her smiling at everyone she passed. She knew she needed to keep things in perspective. Her connection with him was fragile and almost certainly temporary. The more attached to him she became, the harder it would be to lose him. Just thinking of it was tough enough. How would she deal with the reality when it happened? Because eventually it would. If nothing else, his deployment would end and he’d return to his real life. How long would he need a pen pal then? From what he said, there was next to nothing to do in the way of socializing where he was stationed now. So he was, in a sense, her captive audience. She was a distraction, and it was possible he was as intrigued by talking to a stranger as she was. But what about when the new glow wore off? Congratulations, you’re hereby promoted from spinster to Debbie Downer.
Screw it. For once she was going to go with the flow and see where it took her. It was too late to be cautious. Besides, being that way her whole life had gotten her exactly nowhere. She might end up getting hurt, but wasn’t that a part of living? Chloe had been hurt by her cheating ex, but she didn’t give up on life. Gabe had struggled through countless deaths and near-death experiences, she was sure, but he still wanted to serve more time in the Army. Both Chloe and Gabe seemed to believe in Sara, but ultimately it had to be belief in herself that made her want to change. So would she grab these moments of happiness and hope they were part of a road map that led her to the next chapter? Everyone had to start somewhere, and at thirty-five, she had a lot of catching up to do. If nothing else, she figured it was likely to be a hell of a ride.
Look out, world, it was Sara Ryan’s turn to shine.
Chapter Eight
He’d officially lost his mind—and if he wasn’t careful, his heart—to a woman he knew only online. When he described his new pen pal to Jason, he’d been regaled with tales of some television show called Catfish. He refused to look the damn thing up on YouTube, as Jason had laughingly urged him to do (after suggesting to him that Sara could actually be a Sam). When he’d shown him her picture, he shrugged and suggested she got it off the Internet. He
’d been offended on her behalf. Why must everyone make good things into something ugly? It wasn’t the other man’s fault, though. It was Gabe’s for telling him in the first place. And no matter how much he wanted to discount everything he’d said, he hated the tiny niggle of doubt that was planted where there had been none.
They’d been talking multiple times per day for several weeks now, and it had become such a big part of his daily life that he couldn’t imagine not telling her good morning or asking about her day. And more than anything, he loved waking up to find a text on his phone waiting for him. It felt so good to have someone thinking of him. Whether she realized it or not, she was making a huge difference for him here. Hell, he’d even been asked a few times recently why he was smiling. One of his soldiers told him he hadn’t been aware he actually had teeth.
He wasn’t really concerned that much about appearances, but he damned sure wanted to verify that she was indeed a woman. You’re such a paranoid asshole. He hated himself for it, but thanks to Jason, he couldn’t quite get past the notion that he could be made a fool of fairly easily. So with that thought in mind and because he genuinely wanted to hear her voice, he had decided to suggest they FaceTime. They could stick to audio, or if she was okay with it, they could use video as well. Naturally he hoped she’d go for the second option just to put the whole thing to rest, but he could understand if she wasn’t ready for that step yet. He was a little nervous about it himself. A quick glance at his watch told him that Kaylee should be at school by now, so he typed a quick message to her.
GABE: Good morning, Sara. Hope your day is going well. Hey, wanted to see if you were interested in trying FaceTime. Thought it would be kind of cool to hear each other. We can do the phone call only—or video if you’re OK with it. Completely up to you, no pressure.
After he hit Send, he sat on pins and needles waiting for her response. When he saw the little bubbles indicating she was typing, he held his breath. How in the hell is it that I can remain totally calm while fighting a war, yet turn into a basket case over asking a woman to chat? To hell with the guys finding out, he was embarrassed enough at himself without anyone else making fun of him.
SARA: Wow, I’d love that. Give me five minutes, though. I literally rolled out of bed and took my niece to school. I’m not sure I even took the time to brush my hair. Someone kept me up late last night . . .
You’d think he’d won the lottery, as excited as he was at her agreement. Wait, she hadn’t indicated which one she wanted to do.
GABE: I’m sure you look beautiful, regardless. Just let me know when you’re ready. No rush. I know I sprung this on you suddenly. Oh, are we doing a phone call or video? Need to know before I make the connection.
SARA: I’m at home alone, so it doesn’t matter to me. Do you have privacy to video chat? If so, I’d love to see you.
Was it too late to back out? Gabe wondered uneasily. It had been his idea, but now he was on the verge of panicking. He never really gave his appearance any thought. He knew he was in good shape, thanks to years of running and strength training. Being physically fit made deployments easier to handle. And even though his bedroom was far from a revolving door, he’d never found it difficult to find a woman when he longed for female companionship. The opposite had been mostly the case. Yet he couldn’t help being uneasy. He’d come to look forward to talking to Sara every day. What if FaceTiming changed everything? Rationally he knew that he’d adjust and life would go on, but he didn’t want that. Before he could obsess any longer, she was back.
SARA: OK, ready when you are, Gabe.
He blocked out everything and focused on the task at hand. He always worked better that way. Overthinking wasn’t wise in his line of work. It would drive you crazy. All too soon, his iPad was waiting for her to answer. And then there she was. Like a punch to the gut, he knew he’d have been better off had she been a dude. Because the woman smiling shyly while waving a hand was more dangerous to him than anything he’d ever faced. This time his heart was on the line, and he feared that the beauty before him might be the one thing against which he had no defense.
* * *
• • •
Am I drooling? Dear God he’s so freaking hot. Sara was very much afraid she looked and sounded like an idiot. But since the moment Gabe had asked her to FaceTime, she’d been more rattled than she could ever recall being. And seeing the handsome man on her iPad screen did nothing at all to help her relax. Maybe she was biased, but he reminded her of a mix between Taylor Kinney and Bradley Cooper. His hair was much shorter, but those eyes. Something about them was so unusual, and his tanned face seemed to make them almost glow. Down, girl. Oh shit, what did he say? From his expectant look, it was obvious he was waiting for a reply. “Er . . . could you repeat that? I think our connection lapsed for a second.” She mentally patted herself on the back for that brilliant excuse. He might think she was an airhead, but at least she hadn’t been forced to admit she was ogling him. “I said that you look just like your picture. I asked if I am what you were imagining. Well, if you’ve given it any thought.” Was he blushing? Surely not. Must be the lighting.
“Of course I’ve wondered. But you’re way better than I envisioned.” Yikes, that didn’t come out right. “Not that I thought you’d be ugly or anything,” she added quickly, “but you’re really handsome.” Understatement of the year, baby.
“Oh,” he murmured, looking down for a moment. He ran a hand over his cheek before saying, “Thanks. I—I’m glad you think so.” Then he grinned, and Sara had to fight the urge to fan herself. Holy hotness, Batman. “Although it could be the miracle of the camo, as you called it. Maybe I should have worn my civilian clothing so you could make an accurate assessment. I’d hate for you not to recognize me out of uniform.”
“Trust me, there’s no way you’d be unattractive, regardless of how you were dressed,” she said honestly. He is blushing. I can’t believe I said all that.
“What are your plans today?” he asked, as if wanting to shift the focus from himself. Somehow that made him more endearing to her. He clearly wasn’t a man who wanted or needed his ego stroked. She thought she detected a hint of relief in his expression at her approval of his looks, but he’d been ready to move on after that. It was just another area in which they were alike.
She checked the time on her iPad. “I need to leave to pick up Kaylee soon. Then it’s the usual girl thing for us. I’m not certain about this evening. I never know what Nicole has in store for me.”
“Don’t you usually meet up with friends a few times a week?” he asked.
“Oh—yeah, but I haven’t spoken to anyone yet, so I’m not sure when that’ll be. Everyone stays so busy.” She hadn’t wanted Gabe to see her as someone without a life. A simple girl with no aspirations who spent all her time with her niece or running errands. Was it time to tell Gabe the truth? Was this a test conversation to see if there was anything there between them? At least she did have Chloe now, so her social life wasn’t a total fabrication. But still . . . truth or fabrication . . . aka lie.
“Please go out and have a decent meal for me.” He shuddered. “I’m so tired of the food here that I have to force myself to eat enough to survive on.”
“That bad, huh?” she asked sympathetically. “Wait, can I send you a package? Maybe some of your favorite things that you can’t get there?”
He appeared shocked for a moment, and she wondered if she’d overstepped the bounds of their relationship. Then he grinned and she nearly swooned. “Normally I’d decline, but I’d sell my soul for a bag of Doritos and a pack of Oreos.”
She couldn’t help laughing at his hopeful expression. In a way, it was as if she was meeting him for the first time. His e-mails were so reserved, and even though he was more relaxed via texts, she could still sense that he was on guard. But FaceTiming seemed to really bring his personality out. Maybe it was because she coul
d see the different expressions flit across his handsome face. “Consider it done, Major. If you’ll send me your address, I’ll get a box in the mail to you this week.”
“I’ll text it to you when we hang up. If you’re sure you don’t mind, Sara, I’d really appreciate it. We have some different groups that donate stuff fairly regularly—but I try to leave that for my soldiers. Something as small as a pack of cookies can be a big morale booster, and they all deserve it. Hey—it’s ten thirty your time, do you need to get going?”
Sara jumped, having completely lost track of everything but him. “Crap. Yeah, I’m sorry but I gotta run. Thanks for letting me know. I’d zoned out.”
“You’re welcome.” He smiled. “I have some things to take care of as well. But—I really enjoyed this. Maybe we can do it again soon.”
“I’d love that.” Sara nodded enthusiastically. She stood up and began gathering her things before realizing that she was giving Gabe a close-up view of the lower half of her body. Yikes. Another moment and she’d probably have had her backside plastered against her screen. “Oops, sorry. I have to go,” she added regretfully.
“Not a problem.” He chuckled. “I’ll text you later. Have a good afternoon, Sara.” He waved once, then ended the connection.
I miss him already. She could no longer deny that the quiet, confident man serving overseas had made a major dent on her heart.
Chapter Nine
Gabe stared in wonder at the big box sitting atop his desk when he returned from dinner. He recognized the flat-rate decals from the postal service, but he’d never received one with stickers and drawings on the outside of it. And after a day in 100-plus temperatures, where tempers were short and tensions were high, it was about the most welcome sight he could imagine.
