Forget Me Not

by Brenda Jackson

  He was certain Vashti would know since she’d volunteered to take Ms. Ryan back to Shelby by the Sea after she was released from the hospital this morning. Sawyer had driven the rental car to the inn after someone had turned Ms. Ryan’s purse in after it had gotten fished out the water.

  If something went wrong and the woman had a relapse or something, Vashti would have called him. But then, why would she? He was not a relative of the woman. Nor could he be considered a friend. He was only the man who’d pulled her from the ocean, doing what anyone else would have done under the circumstances.

  He rubbed a frustrating hand down his face. Today shouldn’t be any different from any other day. He would go home, get a beer out the fridge and enjoy the drink before diving into his microwave dinner. Then he would jog a few miles around the neighborhood, return home, take a shower, make entries into his journal and then get ready for bed.

  Every now and then instead of eating alone at home, he would join Kaegan at the café, but tonight he didn’t want to do that either. He wanted to find out how Ashley Ryan was doing. Baffled by this obsession yet giving into it anyway, he pulled his phone out the pocket of his shirt and punched in Vashti’s number. She answered immediately.

  “Hey, Ray.”

  “Hey, Vashti. You okay?”

  “I’m doing fine. What about you?”

  “Doing okay. I was wondering if Ashley Ryan is back at Shelby by the Sea.”

  “Yes. I picked her up from the hospital this morning.”

  Ray raked a hand over his head. “How is she doing?”

  “She’s been resting up most of the day like the doctor suggested. She joined me for breakfast, but I haven’t seen her anymore today.”

  “Oh.”

  “Is something wrong, Ray?”

  “No, nothing is wrong. I was just checking on her.”

  “That’s kind of you. In fact, why don’t you stop by on your way home from work and see how she’s doing for yourself?”

  “There’s no way I can do that.”

  “Why not?”

  He truly couldn’t answer that. “Look, Vashti, I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you later.” He quickly clicked off the phone.

  Leaning back in his seat, he tilted his head against the headrest and closed his eyes. His thoughts had been filled with Ashley Ryan today. Why? He knew the decision he’d made three years ago and until now sticking to it hadn’t been an issue. So, what was there about Ms. Ryan that was different? Why had he felt like a goner the moment she had opened her eyes and looked at him?

  Ray knew he had to get a grip. There was no way he could become involved with a woman when he might have a wife and family out there somewhere. He didn’t want to think of the drama such a thing would cause if his memory ever returned. He went to bed every night praying that it would return. But lately he’d noted that particular prayer wasn’t as strong as it used to be. He was getting used to being Ray Sullivan and living a comfortable life in the cove.

  Catalina Cove had a way of growing on a person and it had definitely grown on him. Granted, he didn’t go out of his way to make friends, but the ones he’d made were solid and trustworthy. Even the single women in town had finally gotten the message and backed off.

  He liked it here and couldn’t see himself leaving to live anyplace else. But he might have to if his memory ever returned. Then he would be thrust back into another life. Had he liked that life? What if he no longer wanted to be part of that world?

  It had been three years, going on four. What if his wife had moved on and was involved with someone else? What if she had remarried? His therapist had suggested such a possibility to him. Just because he had refused to become involved with another woman didn’t mean she hadn’t become involved with another man. Especially if she assumed he was dead.

  For a whole year he’d checked the various missing persons sites on the internet, hoping to see his picture. But no such report ever appeared. Why? If his wife loved him, wouldn’t she be looking for him? Then maybe he hadn’t been a good husband and she was glad he was gone. The thought that he had no idea what sort of person he’d been in his previous life twisted his insides.

  He opened his eyes when a devastating scenario torpedoed through his mind. It was one where he had to choose between the life he once had and the one he had now. His chest tightened, not wanting to think about having to make such a choice. But he had to accept that one day he might. He could not have lived on this earth for as long as he had without people knowing him.

  So why was he yet to be identified by anyone? Granted, he’d rarely left Catalina Cove since moving here, except for those times when he made trips to Baton Rouge for his therapist appointments. One thing was for certain: he’d had a lot to write in his journal last night.

  He drew in a deep breath as he put his key into the ignition and turned it. It was time to go home to an empty house and later tonight to an empty bed. But then, that was the way he’d chosen to live and there wasn’t anything he could do about it.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ASHLEY CHECKED HER appearance in the mirror one final time before hurrying down the stairs. She knew the rest of the residents of Shelby by the Sea were still asleep but she’d awakened early, intent on going through with her plan.

  She had talked with Vashti, Sawyer and Kaegan, and the last thing she wanted was for Ray to feel as if he was suddenly being stalked. But she needed to make sure their paths crossed on more than one occasion. She would sign up again to take the tour around the cove on his boat and she would attend the cove’s annual Blueberry Festival this weekend.

  According to Sawyer and Kaegan, Ray joined them for breakfast every morning at a place called Witherspoon Café. Today they intended to be there. They would intentionally cut their time with him short so if he saw her and wanted to talk to her, he could do so without having the feel of them looking over his shoulder. But they had warned her that although he might speak to her, there was a chance he would not sit down with her and chat. She was prepared for that but she wouldn’t give up. If not today, then perhaps another day.

  She had talked to Emmie, Suzanne and Kim last night. The three had gone on the internet to look up Ray’s Tours, and when they saw Devon’s face on his website, the three had cried again. She had ended up crying right along with them. She’d agreed with the three that he looked more handsome than ever with that beard, a rough maturity shining in his features.

  Ashley told them of her plans and they asked the question she couldn’t yet answer. What would happen when her two weeks in Catalina Cove ended and he still didn’t know her? She didn’t want to think that far ahead, although deep down she didn’t expect anything to change with him in two weeks. But their inquiries made her realize she had decisions to make.

  “You’re on your way to see Ray?”

  At the sound of Vashti’s voice, Ashley had to take a deep breath to slow down the racing of her heart before looking in Vashti’s direction. She nodded and smiled. “Yes, I’m on my way to see Ray.” There. She’d said it. She had called him by his new name. His current name. The only name he knew.

  “I hope things turn out all right today.”

  “And if they don’t, I’ll try again,” Ashley said, her chin firm with determination. “I love him, Vashti. So much. I know I have to accept he’s not the same man and I will.”

  Vashti’s lips curved into a supporting smile. “Sure you will. I can feel the love.”

  Ashley wondered if Devon...Ray...would be able to feel the love as well. If not, she had enough love piled up for the both of them. She wouldn’t lie and say she wasn’t nervous because she was. What if she called him Devon? What if he suspected something was up with her and put up his guard? What if...?

  “Hey, don’t start doubting yourself,” Vashti said, reaching out to take her hand. “Ray’s friends are behind you and will help in any way we can
.”

  “Thanks.” Ashley looked at her watch, which had been a gift from Devon. “Time for me to go. I’ll see you later.” Her stomach tightened as she moved toward the door.

  Making decisions about how she would deal with Devon had been the easy part. Executing those plans would be difficult.

  * * *

  “SOMETHING ON YOUR MIND, Ray?”

  Ray glanced over at Sawyer. He’d discovered since the time they’d become friends that not only was Sawyer a good judge of character, the man was also good at reading people. Ray figured it was a skill from his days with the FBI.

  “Don’t have much to say right now. I’m just thinking.”

  “What about? That new boat you plan on buying?” Kaegan asked.

  Ray wished buying that boat was the only thing on his mind. Hell, he hadn’t thought about buying the boat since...

  “Hey, isn’t that the woman whose life you saved the other day?”

  It was a wonder Ray didn’t get whiplash with the speed he jerked his head around to see Ashley Ryan walk into the café. Seeing her unexpectedly this morning made him wish he was drinking something a lot stronger than coffee. She looked beautiful. Too beautiful. Gone was the ponytail. Now her hair flowed in silky waves down her back. And instead of the shorts set, she was wearing a pair of capri pants and a peasant blouse.

  He forced his gaze away from her when Ms. Witherspoon escorted her to a table, and wouldn’t you know it, it was in line of sight of his. “How did you know it was Ashley Ryan? I didn’t know the two of you had met,” he said to Kaegan.

  Kaegan smiled. “We met yesterday morning when I stopped by Shelby by the Sea for something. She was enjoying coffee and muffins with Vashti. I talked to her for a brief minute. She seems to be a nice lady. Glad she recovered okay.”

  Ray was glad, too. In a way he was hoping that she would swing her gaze in his direction, but instead she was studying the menu. “I wonder what brought her away from the inn. They serve a pretty good breakfast there,” Ray said absently.

  “There’s nothing wrong with variety,” Sawyer said, taking a sip of his coffee. “Besides, Vashti encourages those staying at the inn to eat at other places. That way they can see all that the cove has to offer.” He looked at his watch. “I’ve got to go.”

  “So soon?” Ray asked.

  “Yes. I told Vashti I would swing by the inn and pick up a box she wants to give to Trudy,” Sawyer said. Trudy Caldwell was the sheriff’s office manager.

  “And I need to go, too,” Kaegan said, finishing off the rest of his coffee. “Getting ready for that audit next week.”

  Ray nodded. “How’s that going?”

  “Great, thanks to you. Glad you found that surplus.”

  Ray nodded again. “Glad I was able to help.” He’d suggested that Kaegan let him go over the company’s books a couple of weeks ago. It hadn’t been a big deal to Ray since that had been one of his duties while working for Kaegan. Within an hour he’d found a mistake that would have resulted in a huge tax bill at the end of the year.

  Now Ray sat alone. A part of him felt the urge to leave as well, but then another part wanted to just sit right there with his eyes on Ashley Ryan. She hadn’t looked his way, so chances were she hadn’t seen him yet. That was fine and dandy since he was seeing her and liked what he saw. Too much.

  “More coffee, Ray?”

  He smiled up at Bryce. “Yes, thanks.”

  “I see your comrades left you,” she said.

  He chuckled, knowing the only comrade she was interested in was Kaegan. One day he would just come out and ask his friend what had happened between him and Bryce. Then again, maybe not. He had a feeling the less he knew the better. He liked Kaegan and he liked Bryce and refused to take sides.

  Bryce refilled his cup and Ray sat there, taking slow, long sips while keeping his gaze on Ms. Ryan. Now she was giving one of the waitresses her order. He knew he should stop staring. She could catch him doing it any moment.

  No sooner had he thought that than she looked over at him and smiled—and he nearly stopped breathing.

  * * *

  ASHLEY SLOWLY INHALED a deep breath. When her gaze lit on Ray she’d somehow managed to look surprised. At least she’d pulled that off and now for the rest.

  She broke eye contact with him and tried looking bored and alone. Would he take the bait and invite her to join him at his table or join her at hers? Or he very well might do neither and just finish off his coffee and leave.

  Then again, she could go over to his table and invite herself to join him. She didn’t like the idea of being that forward with a guy. But this wasn’t just any guy; this was her husband. She glanced over in his direction again. He had stood. Was he about to leave? He was sitting close to the door and wouldn’t have to pass by her table. If he came over to her, he would have to do so purposely.

  The waitress returned with her coffee, and when Ashley glanced back over in Ray’s direction, she saw he was walking toward her.

  “Good morning, Ms. Ryan. Good seeing you out and about.”

  “Good morning, Ray.” Ignoring the magnitude of nerves flowing through her, she greeted him with a smile. “And I feel awkward calling you Ray when you call me Ms. Ryan, so please call me Ashley.”

  He smiled. “Okay, Ashley.”

  She felt like she’d melt into a puddle on the floor at his feet with the way he’d said her name. Ray had been born in the South and always had a Southern twang to his words. Even when he said her name. She’d always loved hearing him say it.

  “Vashti told me you called yesterday evening to see how I was doing. I appreciate you doing so. That was kind of you. Thank you.”

  “No need to thank me. Anyway, I was just on my way out and wanted to come over and say hello.”

  “And I’m glad you did. I plan to reschedule my boat tour for next week.”

  “I’m glad to hear it. Well, I’ll let you get back to your breakfast. Have a good day, Ashley.”

  “And you do the same, Ray.”

  He nodded, smiled and then walked away.

  She watched him leave while thinking her husband still had that fine ass. She giggled to herself, thinking she had one up on all the women she noticed watching him leave. She knew all about those tight buns and masculine thighs in those jeans, up close and personal.

  She should feel disappointed he hadn’t wanted to join her but she didn’t. At least he’d made the effort to come say hello to her and that was a start. Thanks to Kaegan, she knew what time he got off work at the marina. Not today and maybe not tomorrow, but she intended for their paths to cross again, real soon.

  * * *

  IT TOOK EVERY amount of Ray’s control to walk out the café door and not look back over his shoulder at Ashley. He wasn’t sure what perfume she was wearing but it most certainly smelled good on her.

  When he made it to his truck, he opened the door and slid over the seat. Before starting the ignition, he took a long breath. Fortunately, he’d maintained his cool while talking to her, but he’d felt anything but relaxed. Never had his nerves gotten the best of him.

  He wondered if he’d always been this way with a woman. Cautious. Guarded. He wanted to believe he hadn’t and what he was going through was self-induced.

  He visited his therapist on an as-needed basis. He wondered if perhaps it was time for another session. Maybe Dr. Martin would be able to explain why he was so attracted to Ashley. There had to be a reason and he knew it went beyond having saved her life.

  He was so taken with her that he’d actually dreamed about her last night. He hadn’t dreamed about a woman, especially not making love to one, ever. And for some reason he wasn’t feeling guilty when he knew he should. Shouldn’t he? Hell, he was certain he would dream of making love to his wife, if he could recall how she looked. But every time he tried to remember, his memory
went blank. It was like a void in his mind he couldn’t fill.

  At least he’d gotten to talk to Ashley. Had heard from her own lips how she felt. And they were a pair of nice lips. Full and sexy. He could say the same thing about her breasts that had been pressed against the material of her blouse. And they were firm, too. Shapely. He could just imagine the feel of them in his hands, the taste of the nipples on his tongue...

  What the hell! He shouldn’t be thinking about stuff like that. He was a married man, for heaven’s sake! At least, he thought he was.

  Beginning to feel frustrated, he rubbed his hand down his face. At no time during the last three years had he felt such a magnitude of lust for a woman, and that wasn’t good.

  Pulling his cell phone out the pocket of his shirt, he speed-dialed his therapist. Someone picked up on the second ring. “Dr. Martin’s office. May I help you?”

  “Yes. This is Ray Sullivan. I was wondering if I could see the doctor.”

  “And how soon would you like to set your appointment, Mr. Sullivan?”

  “As soon as I can” was Ray’s quick response.

  “You’re in luck. Dr. Martin’s last appointment for today, scheduled for four o’clock, canceled. Would you like to take it?”

  The driving distance from the cove to Baton Rouge would take two and a half hours. Since he was getting ahead of evening traffic between New Orleans and Baton Rouge, he should be fine. And the tour schedule was light today. Tyler could handle things while he was gone.

  “Yes, I’ll take it.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  “DON’T YOU THINK you need to come up with a plan in case nothing happens before you leave Catalina Cove?”

  Ashley raked a hand through her hair, refusing to feel frustrated although she knew that very thing might occur. She doubted very seriously that seeing her was triggering anything in Devon’s mind and he would miraculously get his memory back. Again what she saw in his eyes hadn’t been recognition but male interest. Not that she was complaining, mind you. She would take what she could get.