Loneliness/Justice: An Aspects Prequel

by L. C. Mawson

  Lex smirked. “Doc, look at me.” She waved her hand in front of her face. “I have plenty of other options. I gave up on modelling to focus on my academic work, but maybe that was a mistake. I could easily go back and probably make more money than I could with a degree in mathematics. Especially given how skinny I’ve gotten...”

  “Okay, clearly you don’t want to talk about your academics. How about we talk about the Aspect of Justice instead.”

  Lex glared at her. “Why would you ask me about her?”

  The therapist gave her a kindly smile that made her skin crawl. “Your mother was worried that you hadn’t been answering her calls and she told us all about what happened. It must have been difficult for you, to lose your partner and best friend in the same day.”

  “My mother only cares that I do impressive things that she can brag about and that I otherwise stay out of trouble. Don’t believe for a second that she actually knows anything about my life beyond that. She doesn’t care enough to.”

  “I see. So, you think you have nothing behind you. No family, no home. And what was ahead... That was always tied up in Justice, wasn’t it? It wasn’t a future for just you, it was a future for both of you, and now that she’s gone, you don’t think you have a future at all.”

  Lex folded her arms, going back to glaring at the clock. “Save your breath, I’m not talking about this.”

  “Have you tried to meet new people since you got here? New friends, or dates?”

  Lex snorted, shaking her head. “Just stop, okay. Please. I have failed to make friends and to attract any lasting romantic interest, and I know that the temptation is to say that I just didn’t try enough. I mean, look at me. I’m pretty and smart and talented... But I have tried again and again, and I have failed again and again. I promise you, trying isn’t the problem. I just work on a different frequency to everyone else. How could I not? I’m a genius that can run circles around them all.”

  “Have you ever considered that they’re not the problem?”

  Lex felt the words like a shot to her chest, and it took her a moment to regain her breath.

  “Of course I have,” she eventually hissed. “Again, I’m working with considerable brainpower here. But has it occurred to you, Doc, that I have tackled this from every conceivable angle and can’t find a solution? And if it’s my fault, and I can’t find the solution after years of trying, then the only logical solution is that there is no solution. And I cannot live with that assessment.”

  “I didn’t mean to suggest that it was a problem you needed to solve on your own. That’s what I’m here for. But you’re not the only student I’ve heard this monologue from. Not by far. It’s incredibly common for intelligent students with autism to feel this way. Have you ever considered that you might be on the spectrum?”

  Lex stood up at that, grabbing her bag before storming out.

  She didn’t think that the therapist was wrong.

  She’d done enough research to suspect that being autistic might have been the answer all along.

  But it was an answer that went nowhere.

  If she was autistic, then they had all been right. All of the kids who had refused to play with her. The parents that had ignored her, probably to avoid thinking about all of her quirks instead of her achievements. All of the dates who lost interest as soon as she opened her mouth...

  If she was autistic, then they weren’t just mean idiots, beneath her in every way.

  If she was autistic, then they were right.

  She was broken, and all of those assholes who couldn’t keep up with her and had to make her feel bad for it...

  They were the normal ones.

  That didn’t make sense.

  She was broken from her thoughts by someone walking right into her.

  “Hey!” she protested, but they just kept walking, not even giving her a second look.

  Another person bumped into her shoulder before she had a chance to process that.

  And then someone else walked into her back.

  “What the hell?” she demanded, spinning to face all of the people who were bumping into her. “Am I invisible to you people or something?”

  They all just kept looking, none of their eyes focusing on her.

  She went to wave a hand in front of one of their faces, but she couldn’t see anything.

  “What the hell?” she repeated as she looked down at herself, only to see that she was, indeed, invisible.

  LEX HEADED BACK TO her room at a complete loss.

  She had turned invisible.

  How had she turned invisible?

  The only powers she knew of like that were the Aspects. Specifically, the Aspect of Loneliness could turn invisible.

  But there was only ever one Aspect for each emotion at a time.

  She had Rena blood, so she could potentially be an Aspect.

  Could she have tapped into those powers somehow?

  She looked over to her mirror to see that she was mostly visible again, though there were still patches of her fading in and out.

  She was distracted by a knock at her door.

  She groaned, expecting to see that the therapist had chased after her. But when she opened the door, she saw an unfamiliar woman with dark brown hair, tied up, away from her olive skin, and silver eyes hidden behind glasses.

  “Lex Lau?” the woman asked, glancing over her fading patches, though she didn’t seem concerned.

  “Who are you?” Lex demanded.

  “I’m Ms Bennett. I’m from the Aspects Program.”

  “Oh,” Lex managed, realising exactly what her disappearing must be. She realised after a moment that they were just standing in her doorway and stepped aside to allow Bennett in.

  Bennett stepped into the room but made no effort to sit anywhere. Probably because most of the surfaces were covered in clothes and even Lex wasn’t sure whether they were clean or not.

  “Loneliness died, didn’t they?” Lex asked. She didn’t pay much attention to the Aspects - never had - so she had no clue who she would be replacing. The Aspects without offensive powers tended to need replacing regularly enough that even if she wanted to pay attention, she would probably struggle to keep up.

  Bennett nodded. “The information I had been given said you were astute. I see that it was correct. And given that you are already tapping into your powers so thoroughly, you are showing more skill at being an Aspect than I had anticipated.”

  Lex looked away, not interested in her praise.

  “As you have clearly already gathered, you have been chosen as the next Aspect of Loneliness. As an Aspect, it is required that you move to the appropriate Aspect Tower and give up all facets of your old life.”

  “The appropriate Tower?” Lex asked, her mind lagging behind as all she found herself capable of thinking was that Justice and Vengeance were stationed at Tower Five.

  “Tower Three.”

  Lex just nodded, her mind remembering as Bennett spoke.

  “Are you ready to go?”

  Lex nodded again.

  It wasn’t as if she was leaving much behind...

  Chapter Seven

  Bennett took her to the tower, and Lex found herself thankful that she had taken Spanish in high school. Though she wasn’t sure exactly how well that would hold up.

  However, Bennett didn’t take her to meet the other Aspects first. Instead, she took her to the highest floor of the Tower.

  The room they entered was full of exposed wires and computer parts, and Lex saw parts that seemed organic, which made sense, given that the Rena had used organic technology.

  She suspected that the room was the heart of the Tower’s computer systems, and not designed for people to be present.

  Bennett, however, strode across the room as if she belonged there, walking over to a section of the wall where a bracelet was stored. It had wires with sharp ends snaking from the metal, and it was definitely Rena tech.

  “While your powers have already star
ted to manifest, you won’t be able to access your full powers until you accept the Aspect Band.”

  Lex nodded and wordlessly offered her wrist for the bracelet.

  Bennett slid it onto her wrist, and the wires came to life before stabbing into Lex’s skin, burying beneath it.

  A cry of pain became trapped in her throat, her jaw sealing shut and refusing to open.

  A light along the front of the bracelet began to glow with a pale blue light.

  Bennett smiled at her. “There. It seems as if you’re taking to your new powers quickly.”

  Lex looked down to see that she had disappeared entirely now that she had the Band.

  “Come,” Bennett said. “I’ll introduce you to the others. If your Spanish isn’t up to scratch, Perception should be able to understand you and help you learn. Though, perhaps being unable to talk with everyone here might help your powers.”

  Lex remained silent, but Bennett strode through the Tower utterly confident that Lex was following her.

  Eventually, Bennett took her to a large room decorated with various sofas and chairs, along with a large screen tuned into a news channel, though the sound was turned off.

  As they entered the room, everyone turned to look at them.

  “Bennett,” a short woman with pale skin and a jet-black ponytail greeted. “Where’s the new Loneliness?”

  Before Bennett could answer, a tall man with dark brown skin and short, curly black hair answered, “She’s there, Frustration. She’s just invisible.”

  The woman - Frustration - frowned. “Really? Already?”

  Bennett nodded. “She was already using her powers when I found her.”

  Frustration raised an eyebrow as she looked around the room, presumably looking for Lex. “That’s impressive. Most don’t tap into their powers until weeks after they get their Bands.”

  Lex just shrugged, even though the others couldn’t see. She had been good at everything else, so she supposed it made sense that she was just as good at being lonely.

  Perception stepped forward, seemingly seeing exactly where Lex was. “It seems as if meeting us all at once is a little overwhelming for you. Perhaps it would be better for you to get some rest and we can make proper introductions tomorrow.

  Lex just nodded, hoping that he could see, before heading back out of the room, wanting to be away from all of the eyes.

  “I’ll show you to your room before I leave,” Bennett said, following Lex out of the room. “Come on, it’s upstairs.”

  Chapter Eight

  She was eventually introduced to all of the other Aspects, but she found no reason to leave her room. As it turned out, by ‘room’, Bennett had meant an apartment that took up an entire floor of the Tower. It had everything she needed, so she saw no reason to leave.

  She expected that she would eventually be asked to go on a mission outside the Tower, but two months passed without that happening.

  Not until a knock came at her door.

  She opened it, doing her best to remain visible, even if every cell in her body was desperate to disappear.

  To her surprise, she saw Perception beyond.

  “Can I help you?” Loneliness – part of being an Aspect meant shedding her old name for her Aspect title – asked him, trying not to be rude, but wondering why he was there.

  He gave her an understanding smile. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude, but another Tower has asked for our help. I thought you might want the chance to get out of the Tower.”

  “They asked for me?”

  Perception nodded. “They don’t know that you haven’t been on a mission yet. Though I wouldn’t have agreed if I didn’t think you could handle it. They suspect there is a lone monster living outside their city that has been climbing the walls and attacking. They only need the two of us to help them find the monster.”

  “That’s all, huh?”

  He nodded. “The others should be able to kill the creature.”

  Loneliness sighed. “Well, I suppose if that’s the case, it would be nice to get out of the Tower. Do we know which Aspects we’ll be on the mission with?”

  Perception nodded as Loneliness followed him down to the hangar. “The Aspect of Empathy put the plan together, but we’ll be working with the Aspect of Vengeance on the mission itself.”

  Loneliness almost stumbled at that.

  Vengeance... She was going to see Vengeance again.

  That meant that Justice would be there as well.

  She was tempted to tell Perception that she couldn’t go - that she would stay at the Tower - but she didn’t.

  There was no excuse she could give him, after all, aside from the truth, given that she had already agreed to go. And the truth was too much. She didn’t want to admit how much Justice’s loss still stung.

  PERCEPTION PILOTED the ship that took them to Tower Five as Loneliness sat in the co-pilot chair.

  “Does every Aspect know how to fly these?” Loneliness asked him as the ship approached the city.

  Perception shook his head. “No, just those who want to learn.”

  “Why did you want to?”

  He smiled, though it was bittersweet. “I... I had hoped that I would visit this Tower more often.”

  Loneliness frowned. “Why?”

  “The Aspect of Empathy is my daughter,” he admitted, refusing to look at her. “I had hoped to be able to see her more often after she was chosen.”

  Loneliness frowned as she looked him over. He barely looked thirty... “How old is she?”

  “She turned nine last month.”

  Loneliness’ eyebrows shot up into her hairline. “Nine?!”

  “Whoever is the best for the job is chosen, Loneliness. Children aren’t often chosen but... Emily was always too empathetic for her own good. As a parent, you try not to let them see it when you’re hurting - you want them to think that their parents are fortresses that they can always rely on - but she always knew. And then she’d tell Claire, her older sister, and the two of them would embark on some great scheme to make me and my wife feel better. It was adorable...” He sighed, shaking his head. “So, despite the fact that I would never have chosen this life for her, it was no surprise when she was chosen.”

  “At least you get to see her now,” Loneliness offered.

  Perception grimaced. “Which would be fine, if she wanted to see me. I was chosen before she was and she still hasn’t forgiven me for leaving her and her mother and sister. To be honest, I still haven’t forgiven myself...”

  Loneliness gave him a sympathetic smile. “I’m sure she’ll get over it. I mean, she was chosen herself, wasn’t she? Didn’t she leave them behind?”

  Perception shook his head. “She was chosen just after a monster killed her mother, and I still haven’t figured out what happened to her sister. We’re supposed to give up all ties to our old lives, so I can’t learn the truth easily, and Em won’t tell me. Likely because she died as well. So, Em didn’t leave anyone behind to go. Not like I did.” He sighed. “It’s so easy with everyone else. I can see everything. With her... Her powers are like mine, but she doesn’t just see. She absorbs. I can’t read her, I just get a reflection of everyone around her. I’m not even sure if my little girl is in there anymore...”

  “I’m sorry,” Loneliness said.

  He sighed again. “It’s simply part of being an Aspect. A pain you apparently know all too well. Why didn’t you tell me you were in love with Justice?”

  Loneliness looked away. “Your powers tell you that?”

  “Yes. And they tell me that Vengeance is the closest thing to a brother you’ve ever known. You knew them before they became Aspects?”

  She nodded.

  “And their leaving... Is that why you became the Aspect of Loneliness?”

  “Bennett never said so in as many words, but I don’t doubt it.”

  “Well... You could see them now.”

  Loneliness shook her head. “I... I don’t know...” She loo
ked down only to see that she was invisible. “Don’t... Don’t tell them it’s me.”

  Perception looked as if he was going to argue for a moment, but nodded before docking the ship at Tower Five.

  Loneliness followed him out, still invisible, only to see three almost identical people waiting for them.

  One was Vengeance. She would recognise that cocky grin and washboard abs - why was he wearing an open vest? - anywhere.

  She assumed that the woman beside him was Justice. She didn’t look drastically different from how Loneliness had last seen her - she didn’t know what she expected, it hadn’t been that long - but it was enough so that she no longer looked like a carbon copy of her brother.

  The third person, however, looked almost like a morph between the two and Loneliness wondered when they had acquired a third twin. Or at least, she did until they approached and the third figure’s skin darkened slightly, like Perception’s, and their hair turned Loneliness’s shade of golden blonde.

  “Em,” Perception greeted as they approached. “It’s been a while.”

  The strange morph - Empathy, Loneliness assumed - just glared at him. “Vengeance is aware of the mission parameters. He can inform you.” She turned to Justice. “Can I go now?”

  Justice folded her arms with a sigh. “Yes, if you must. Though, I would prefer it if you went over the plan with Perception yourself.”

  Em responded by simply leaving the room.

  “I’m sorry,” Justice said as she turned to Perception, her look of apology tugging at Loneliness’ heart. She found herself rooted to the spot, which was the only thing stopping her from running to her and wrapping her arms around her. Justice simply continued, oblivious to Loneliness’ presence, “I’m not sure why she’s like this when you come here.”

  Perception gave her an understanding smile. “It’s okay. I know that you worry what her reasons may be, and I promise, it’s a personal matter, but she is in no danger. I won’t divulge it to you if she hasn’t, but I can assure you that I am not offended by it, and I would rather that she not be around me if she isn’t comfortable.”