Be a Genie in Six Easy Steps

by Linda Chapman

  “No!” The word burst out of Milly before she could stop herself.

  Her dad frowned. “Why not?”

  “That sounds like a great idea,” Jess said smoothly. “We’d all love to help. Wouldn’t we?” She looked sharply around at the others.

  “Oh, yeah,” Michael muttered, pushing away his half-eaten plate of pizza. “It would be the biggest thrill of my life.”

  “Why did you say we’d help in the shop tomorrow?” Milly hissed to Jess as soon as they left the table and were out of earshot. “You know we’re supposed to be starting Step Two of The Genie Handbook.”

  “I had to say it.” Jess led the way down to the den. “We don’t want Mum and Mark to think something strange is going on or they’ll be watching us all the time. This way, if we help out in the morning it’ll get them off our backs, and then we’ll have the afternoon to do Step Two.”

  “Cool,” said Milly happily. “I can’t believe we’re actually learning to be genies! What are you going to wish for when we can have wishes, Jase?”

  Jason’s mind spun with the possibilities. “I dunno.”

  “And whose wish will we grant first?” Jess said.

  “Mine,” Michael suggested.

  Milly rolled her eyes. “Shut up!”

  Jess considered the question. “Maybe it might be a good idea if we all make a list of the top five wishes we want to have. Then we can see if we can agree on any.”

  Jason nodded. “That’s a good idea. We could grant those wishes first.”

  “Okay,” the others agreed.

  “Let’s do them now!” said Milly. “Come on, Jess!”

  The boys went off, and Jess followed Milly into their shared room.

  On Milly’s side, the wooden floor was covered with cuddly toys, animal magazines, and piles of discarded clothes. The duvet was half off the bed and the chest of drawers was covered in a jumble of photos of friends and tiny ornaments.

  Jess’s side, on the other hand, was a perfect picture of neatness. Her plain white duvet was smooth and unruffled, the pillows plumped up. On top of her chest of drawers her hairbrush, hair straightener, and bits of makeup were lined up in rows. She had a desk and CD rack with her CDs arranged in alphabetical order, and on her bedside table there was a magazine and a single photo frame with a picture of her two best friends from London.

  Jess opened the top drawer of her desk and took out a notebook. She sat down on the chair and began to think. What am I going to wish for?

  Grabbing a piece of paper and a felt-tip pen, Milly jumped onto Jess’s bed. “What are your wishes going to be, Jess?”

  “I don’t know yet. Oh, Milly, go to your own bed,” Jess said crossly. “You’re creasing my duvet!”

  Milly rolled her eyes and went back to her own side of the room. She sat on the bed and put her hand under her pillow. She could feel the book in her pillowcase. It felt warm and her fingers tingled slightly. Excitement fizzed through her. They could have real wishes! What would her top five be?

  She thought for a moment and then began scribbling down her list:

  1. Go back to London and be Dorothy

  2. Have a pony

  3. Have a dog

  4. Be a famous actress

  5. Have lots and lots of money

  Other stuff flew through her mind. There were so many wishes that would be cool—being able to fly, having an animal sanctuary, being able to read people’s thoughts, being a ballerina or a movie star or both! She sighed. It was impossible. How could she ever choose just five things?

  On the other side of the room, Jess had written her number one wish very neatly into her notebook:

  1. Go back to London

  Her pen hovered over the page as she wondered what exactly she meant by that. Did she want them to go back to their old houses and be two separate families again? Or did she mean she wanted them to live in one big house together? She chewed a fingernail and considered it.

  She liked Mark, and she knew her mum was happy with him. But did they really all have to live together? Milly was so noisy and messy. And Michael was really annoying. Whenever she went into the bathroom there was always a pair of pants or socks on the floor. He left his bath towel in a wet heap and he always left the toilet seat up!

  She began to add in some more details to her wish list:

  1. To go back to London and live in our old houses in our own rooms and go to our old schools again, but Mum and Mark could still see each other.

  2. To have a million pounds

  3. To have a nicer nose

  4. To have a boyfriend…

  She suddenly stopped writing as she remembered that they were going to be showing their lists to each other. She ripped the page out. There was no way she could show Michael those last two wishes! She decided to play it safe:

  3. To go on holiday to a tropical island

  4. To go to Hollywood and see any celebrities I want

  5. To be allowed to stay out as late as I want to whenever I want to

  There, she thought, reading down her list. My five wishes.

  Upstairs, the boys were writing their own lists. Jason was typing his wishes on the family computer on the landing.

  1.I wish for world peace.

  2.To go into space

  3.To have an unlimited supply of chocolate

  4.To be on TV

  He thought for a moment. He knew the others really wanted to go back to London. Do I want to? he wondered. It would be good to see his old friends. But he liked his new school, too. He’d only been there for two weeks before the Easter holidays had started, but his classmates were okay and there was a computer club and a science club he wanted to join when they went back after the holidays….

  But then, Jess was so unhappy in Moreways Meet, and Michael was too, and Milly wanted to be Dorothy…. And it would be good to be back with his friends. He made up his mind and decisively typed:

  5. Go back to London

  Just then, Mark came along the corridor. Jason hastily closed the document.

  “Doing homework, mate?” Mark asked.

  Jason nodded.

  Mark smiled. “Wish Michael was more like you.” He patted Jason rather awkwardly on the back. “Keep up the good work. I’ll…er, catch you later.”

  Jason watched him go. He knew Mark thought it was odd that he was so quiet and was into math, science, and computers. But he really liked his stepdad. He opened up his list again and deleted his fourth wish, changing it to:

  4. To make Mum and Mark stop arguing and be happy

  He looked through his list and then nodded. Yes, he thought, those are the things I would like to wish for most.

  In his room on the top floor, Michael had scrawled his list very quickly:

  1. Go back to London

  2. Have never-ending cash supplies

  3. Have X-ray vision and see through anything

  4. Have mind control

  5. Have the power to travel anywhere in the world in two seconds

  Now he lay back on his bed, his hands behind his head. What would be the first thing he bought with his endless cash? The new Megaplay Ultra, he decided, thinking of the latest game console to hit the market. And then an iPhone, a new mega-cool stereo, of course, a wide-screen plasma TV for his room, and then…

  Lost in happy thoughts, he sighed and grinned. Maybe believing in magic was okay after all!

  Chapter Nine

  The next morning everyone trooped down to the bookshop after breakfast. Jason helped Mark put up some shelves while Jess set to work arranging a pile of books in alphabetical order, and Milly “improved” the children’s area by sticking beads and sequins on the sides of the girl’s fiction shelves.

  Michael had to clean some grotty old bookcase with Ann. He pulled out a pile of books from the bottom shelf and put them on top, accidentally knocking over a funny-looking brass vase with a narrow neck.

  “Careful,” said Ann. “It may have come from a junk shop but it’s
not junk!”

  “Sorry,” Michael muttered. “My arm aches.”

  “I thought you’d have big muscles from all that computer game playing,” said Ann lightly.

  Michael snorted. “They’re video games.”

  She smiled at him. “I really do appreciate your helping us, Michael. You see, it’s not that bad when we all do something together as a family, is it?”

  “Guess not.” Michael felt a twinge of guilt as he remembered the number one wish on the piece of paper stuffed into his pocket. He and the others had agreed to compare their lists on the way back from the shop.

  At lunchtime, Mark decided to let his slave labor force go free.

  “There’s cold pizza in the fridge for lunch!” called Ann as they left the shop.

  “Oh, great,” Jess muttered. “More pizza.”

  “So, what’s on everyone’s lists?” Milly burst out as soon as they were a few shops away. She pulled her own list out of her pocket. “Can I tell you mine first? Please?”

  “Okay,” said Jess.

  Milly gabbled out what she had written. “What did you all put?” she asked when she’d finished.

  They each read out their lists.

  “Looks like we’ll be wishing to go back to London, then,” Jess said with a satisfied smile. “After all, it’s the only wish that’s on all our lists!”

  “And we’ll be going back with loads of cash!” said Michael, rubbing his hands together. “How cool is that?”

  “But first we have to pass another five steps of the handbook,” Jason pointed out.

  “No problem!” said Michael. “We’ll ace them all!”

  “Come on!” Milly said eagerly. “Let’s get back and see Skribble!”

  “What time do you call this?” Skribble exclaimed, popping out of The Genie Handbook’s pages as they came into the den, his face a florid shade of pink. “I told you to consult me at sunrise. It is now well after noon! What do you mean by this tardiness? Explain yourselves!”

  “Calm down, Worm!” Michael said. “We had to help my dad and Ann down at the shop!”

  “Shop? Shop?” Skribble shook with fury. “I offer to share with you my vast experience and infinite wisdom, to waste my precious time helping you to make your heart’s desire come true, and do you embrace my kind self-sacrifice? No! You go merrily off to some silly shop, if you please!”

  “I’m sorry, Skribble,” said Milly. “We wanted to come and see you, really we did. But we have to do what our parents tell us to, or we’ll get in real trouble.”

  “Real trouble, she says!” Skribble shook his head. “Oh, my dear girl, you don’t know the meaning of those words.” A shiver seemed to run through the bookworm’s whole body.

  Jason looked at him curiously. “What do you mean, Skribble?”

  “Nothing,” said the bookworm quickly.

  Suddenly, Jess gasped. She had just noticed something about the book. “This picture wasn’t here yesterday, I’m sure!” She pointed to a picture of a lamp. “It looks like ours….” Then she turned back a few pages and gasped. “Look! There are pictures of us!”

  She held the book out and the others stared. Pictures had appeared before the beginning of Step Two. The first showed Jess and Milly holding the lamp in the junk shop. There was a caption written underneath it in indigo ink.

  “‘Careful planning reaps rewards,’” Milly read out.

  “What is this?” Jess breathed. “I mean…that’s us! And the detail, it’s spot-on.”

  “Of course it is!” Skribble tutted. “The book is summing up your progress, what you did well…” He fixed Michael with a pointed look. “And what you did very badly.”

  “Hey! Look at this one!” said Milly, pointing out a picture of Jason doubled over. “That’s when you came out of the duck flashlight.”

  “‘Only a fool takes magic lightly,’” Michael read out. He turned the page to find a picture of Milly bursting out of the lamp, her moustache flapping wildly. “Hey, good likeness, Mil!”

  Milly read the caption scrawled beneath: “‘Working together will benefit all.’”

  “It’s like the book’s saying why it passed us,” said Jason, staring at the pictures.

  “Indeed it is,” said Skribble. “The book will judge you all at the end of each step, deciding if you deserve to go on with your training.”

  “It’s so weird to think it’s watching us,” said Jess with a shudder.

  “Well, enough of this time wasting,” Skribble announced. “To business!” He nodded toward the genie lamp that sat on top of the dresser. “You have all read the introduction to Step Two. The book now requires you to learn about the worlds of appearance and illusion. Begin by taking turns to get in and out of the lamp as impressively as possible, disguising your appearance in whatever way you see fit.”

  “Why don’t you give it a go, Jess?” said Milly, passing her the lamp. “It’s amazing in there. You’re so small, but you feel really big.”

  Jess took a deep breath. “Genie me!” she commanded.

  One second she was there, the next she had gone. Vanished. And the lamp was lying on the floor.

  Milly picked up the lamp and rubbed it. Jess burst out in a cloud of pink smoke, arms folded across her chest. She was wearing a pale green turban, a glittering red top with a mauve veil, and ultramarine baggy trousers, which clashed horribly.

  “Nice outfit,” Michael smirked. “You’re, like, the thrift shop genie.”

  “Shut up!” Jess boomed in a deep, thunderous voice that made the windows rattle.

  “Very good voice!” said Skribble, nodding his approval. “Yes, that is a voice that will command respect.”

  “It’ll deafen people!” cried Jason. “Turn it down, Jess!”

  “All right,” Jess said, a little more quietly. She felt her top lip. “Phew! I’m glad I haven’t got a moustache.” She looked down at her weird clothes and sighed. “But this outfit is horrible. I hoped I’d come out in something cool.”

  “Hope! You can’t just hope, girl!” Skribble exclaimed. “You must use your imagination and picture what your disguise will be!”

  “Well, it’s someone else’s turn now,” Jess said. “How do I get back inside the lamp?”

  “As I told Milly,” said Skribble, “simply place yourself there in your mind, and your body will follow.”

  Jess closed her eyes and imagined herself within those musty, metal walls. In the blink of an eye she had vanished back into the lamp.

  “Genie be free!” Milly commanded. As Jess appeared beside her, back to normal if a little shell-shocked, Milly turned to her brother. “Michael, do you want a turn?”

  “Um…” Michael looked at Jason. “I think you should go first, mate.”

  When Jason appeared, he came out in a gust of brown smoke with the sound of a colossal fart.

  Milly giggled. “Jason!”

  “You cannot emerge making a noise like that, boy!” said Skribble firmly. “You will be a laughingstock!”

  “I—I didn’t mean to,” said Jason, looking mortified. He was dressed in a green silk suit with funny slippers that curled up at the end, and a moustache to match. His turban was white and perfectly folded. “It just sort of came out.”

  “Wasn’t a total disaster, though, Jase,” said Michael. “Fair play—that’s awesome face fuzz.”

  “Really?” Jason peered into the bedside mirror at his moustache. “Hey! It is quite good, isn’t it? I wasn’t even thinking of a moustache, either.”

  “Must be natural skill,” said Milly, pleased for him.

  “Natural stupidity, more like,” said Skribble disdainfully. “That, my beetle-brained boy, is a default moustache. The lamp chose it for you.” He tutted. “Really, if you wish to pass this step, you will have to display more imagination. A very good deal more!”

  “I do want to pass,” said Jason earnestly. “I really do.”

  Skribble sniffed. “Back in the lamp with you.”

  Jaso
n held his nose and closed his eyes—and was sucked up inside the lamp like dust into a vacuum cleaner. Milly set him free and he popped back into reality, looking normal once more.

  “Now then,” said Skribble. “You—older boy.”

  “Michael,” said Michael indignantly.

  “Yes, whatever your name is. It is high time you stopped laughing at the others and took a turn yourself.”

  “Right. Cool. Whatever.” Michael frowned and bit his lip. “Not a problem.”

  Milly squeezed her brother’s hand supportively. “Hey. It’s okay to be scared,” she said quietly. Then she pinched him and laughed. “Don’t feel dumb and useless just because your little sister did it easy as anything!”

  “And your stepsister,” Jess teased him. “And your little stepbrother…”

  “I’m not little!” said Jason, turning up his nose. “And Michael’s not scared of anything. Are you, Michael?”

  Michael scowled at the girls, and looked at the lamp in Jason’s hands. “Genie me!” he snapped.

  The book shook and Michael felt himself whizzing away like water down a drain. He whooped—it was like the most excellent fairground ride you could ever imagine. Suddenly, everything was dark around him, and Michael could taste the tang of old metal at the back of his throat. “Did it!” he whispered. “Now to show them what a real genie looks like…”

  He concentrated hard, and the next moment heard the squeak of fingertips on metal. Michael felt his whole body fizz like a shaken-up can of soda….

  WHOOOSH! He shot out of the lamp spout so fast he banged his head on the ceiling. “Ow!” he boomed, and landed in a heap on the floor.

  “Wow, Michael,” said Jason. “You look cool!”

  “More like crazy!” said Milly.

  Michael got up and marveled at his reflection. Just as he’d pictured in his mind, he was wearing a silk ninja-style outfit, the black material bisected by a golden sash. His turban was black too, with a huge glowing ruby in its center. “Hey, check the beard!” he cried. It was enormous and bushy and came down to his diamond-covered slippers.