Be a Genie in Six Easy Steps

by Linda Chapman

  There was a flash of silver light and Jason felt the pockets of his jeans get suddenly heavy. He shoved his hands in and pulled out a chocolate bar from each pocket. “Cool!” He looked at the bars—one was filled with caramel and one with raisins and nuts. “Hey, they’re even different types.”

  “Course!” Milly said smugly. “It’d be boring just to eat the same kind of chocolate all the time.” She did a twirl. “Just call me superawesome magnificent Milly the genie!”

  Jason ripped the paper from one of the chocolate bars and stuffed as much chocolate as he could into his mouth. “They taste good, too!” He reached for his pockets. “And every time I take one out, another one appears!”

  “Good wish, mate,” Michael said approvingly as he helped himself to a bar. “Go on, get back in the lamp, Milly. It’s my turn now!”

  Once Milly was back in the lamp, Jason said the spell of release: “Genie be free,” said Jason.

  Milly shot out with a whoop of exhilaration. Then she wished herself back into the lamp: “Genie me!” she shouted.

  No sooner was she inside than Michael was rubbing the old brass sides. “I wish for the power to look through stuff—like Superman’s X-ray vision!”

  Milly whooshed out, just as before. “Your wish is my command,” she boomed, clapping her hands. She grinned at them all. “Hey, this is fun!”

  Michael blinked.

  “Did it work?” asked Jason, excited.

  “Whoa!” Michael stared around the room. “You lot look really weird. I can see through your top layer of clothes! Nice Batman underpants, Jase!”

  “Michael!” Jess exclaimed. As he looked over at her she grabbed a throw from the sofa and wrapped it around herself. “Don’t you dare look at me! Stop it!”

  “It’s my turn now!” said Milly. “I know exactly what I’m going to wish for. Free me, Michael, and then you have a go at being the genie.” Her voice grew fainter as she jumped back into the lamp.

  “Genie be free!” said Michael. “And genie me!” He whooshed into the lamp just as Milly whooshed back out.

  “I wish for a pony!” said Milly breathlessly, rubbing away at the lamp.

  Now Michael shot out of the lamp in his black ninja genie outfit and enormous beard, and clapped his hands. “It shall be done!” The next second, a small, fat brown pony with a shaggy mane and tail and blue head collar was standing in the basement. It had a very surprised expression on its face.

  “It’s real!” Jess gasped.

  Milly dropped the lamp and hugged the pony. Then she looked accusingly at Michael. “It’s cute, but it’s not very big.”

  “You just said you wanted a pony,” Michael protested. “You didn’t say what size.”

  The pony snorted.

  “You’re the genie! You should think about the details!” Milly told Michael. “You should have known I’d want one I could ride.” She stroked the pony quickly, hoping its feelings wouldn’t be hurt. “Well, you’re still nice. What am I going to call you, boy?”

  “What about ‘Dogfood’?” Michael suggested.

  “Don’t be horrible!” Milly cried. “I’ll call him…Toffee!”

  “Gloopy, more like,” said Michael, pulling a face. “I can see through its skin! I can see all the blood going around and stuff.” His face turned pale. “Oh, that is so gross. UGH!” He quickly disappeared back into the lamp.

  Jess grabbed the lamp from the floor. “It’s my turn now.”

  “Well, I wish that Jess could have my next wish,” said Milly, patting Toffee.

  Michael whooshed back out, still looking a bit green. “What is your wish?” he cried, and the book trembled.

  Jess felt a tremble go through her as well. Keep tight hold on that which is precious to you, the book had told them. Well, I know what’s precious to me, she thought. And I’m never going to let go.

  Her heart pounded. It was the moment she’d been waiting for. “I wish…I wish we were all back in London!”

  “What?” Milly gasped.

  “No, Jess!” Michael spluttered, but his hands were already clapping themselves together and his voice was booming out: “Your wish is my command!”

  Milly saw Jason grab the book. There was a bright red flash. Milly screamed as the world went instantly dark and began to spin. There was the sound of something metal being dropped and a pony’s worried whinny. Milly felt herself tumbling over and over and over….

  And then suddenly she landed on her feet. At the same moment the lights seemed to come back on.

  Milly blinked. The first thing she saw was Jess’s, Michael’s, and Jason’s shocked faces. Then she saw Toffee, snorting with alarm. There was the sound of cars and hooting horns close by. Suddenly Milly realized they weren’t inside the house anymore. There was a gray sky above them and the faded rug in the basement had gone. They were standing on concrete. With a sinking feeling, she looked around. They were in the middle of a parking lot beside a main road. The traffic was bumper-to-bumper, and horns were blaring.

  Milly’s eyes widened. “We really are in London!”

  “But whereabouts?” said Jess. She turned toward Michael. “I wanted us to be back where we used to live.”

  Michael groaned. “You could have said. Details, remember?”

  “You’re the genie!” Jess retorted. “You’re the one who’s supposed to think about the details!”

  “Yeah, right! Blame it on me!” Michael hid his face in his beard. “You should have said where you wanted to go!”

  “Get us out of here, Jess!” Jason urged as chocolate bars began to overflow from his pockets. “Make another wish.” He saw some passersby looking at them curiously. “Quickly!”

  “Okay,” Jess sighed. She looked around. “Where’s the lamp?”

  They all stared at each other.

  “You were holding it, Jess, when you made the wish,” said Jason. “What did you do with it?”

  Jess’s face paled. “I…think I might have dropped it back in the den.”

  There was a silence, broken only by the thud of falling chocolate bars.

  “No,” Michael said, shaking his head. “You’re not going to tell me we haven’t got the lamp?”

  Jess felt her cheeks burn red. She gave a small nod.

  “Perfect!” Michael looked at her furiously. “What was it the book said—‘keep tight hold on that which is precious’? What’s more precious than the lamp? You heard the worm: Without a lamp a genie is nothing!”

  “Michael can’t grant any wishes, otherwise,” cried Milly. “None of us can!” The wall of traffic rumbled beside them. “We’re stuck here!”

  “Everyone stay calm,” ordered Jess. “The magic will wear off at sunset; that’s only a couple of hours away….”

  “A couple of hours?” said Michael. He looked particularly strange standing in his black genie outfit with curly-toed slippers in the middle of a parking lot. “I can’t stick this for a couple of hours! My X-ray vision is getting stronger. I can see through everything!” He shut his eyes and groaned. “I can even see through my eyelids! It’s making me feel really sick. What about the book? Do you have the book?”

  “Yes,” said Jason. He turned to the right pages. “But it’s still all gibberish. Skribble?” He shook the book a bit, and winced as two large chocolate bars fell onto his foot. “Skribble, please!”

  “I’m busy,” came a grumbly voice. “Bother me when you’ve finished making your wishes.”

  “But we have finished!” cried Jason.

  “Or rather, we are finished.” Michael glared at Jess, snatched the book, and shoved it into a large side pocket of his black jacket. “I bet that stupid worm wouldn’t know how to help us anyway. And I certainly don’t want to see through his revolting body!”

  A battered blue van rumbled into the parking lot. Toffee neighed in alarm. Milly hung on tight to his lead rope. “Whoa! Steady, boy.” He tugged her forward. “Hey, guys! Any chance of some help here? He’s small but he’s really s
trong.”

  Jason went over to her, chocolate spilling from his pockets with every step. The pony squealed and kicked out at him. “Hey, stop it!” Jason cried, slipping on a fruit-and-nut bar as he tried to get out of the way.

  Toffee bit Milly’s arm and she yelled.

  “What are we going to do?” Michael exclaimed. He looked at Jess and stared. “Oh…my…!”

  “You’d better not be looking at my underwear!” she told him furiously.

  “Not your underwear.” Michael’s face turned a shade of green. “The X-ray vision’s getting worse. I can see your skeleton! All the bones and bits of gristle and your brain! Ugh…” He turned, staggered behind a car, and was sick—very, very noisily.

  “Oh, nice!” said Jess, revolted.

  “Help!” Milly wailed as Toffee yanked the lead rope out of her hands and careered off toward the parking lot exit. “Quick! We’ve got to stop him! If he gets out into the road, he might get hurt!”

  “He’s not the only one!” Jason yelled.

  They all charged after the pony, Michael groaning and clutching his stomach.

  As Jess ran, she felt her eyes filling with tears. She’d set her heart on coming back to London, but not like this. Never like this!

  Chapter Thirteen

  Toffee cantered out of the parking lot and down the street. Astonished passersby leaped out of his way.

  “Come back, Toffee!” Milly wailed, charging after him. “Please!”

  A mother tutted. “What are a bunch of kids doing out on their own with a horse?”

  “Where are your parents?” shouted an old man.

  Ignoring him, Milly forced herself to run faster. If she could only reach Toffee and grab hold of his lead rope…

  “I can see through the pavement,” groaned Michael behind her. “I can see the sewers. I can see rats in the sewers! I can see what the rats have been eating in the sewers. Urrrgh…”

  Toffee met a crowd of people walking along the pavement. Slowing down, he flattened his ears and lunged for a businessman’s arm. The man staggered back with a cry and fell into a workmen’s tent with a noisy clatter.

  “Call the police!” someone roared.

  “Got you!” cried Milly triumphantly, grabbing hold of Toffee’s lead rope, but the pony was too alarmed by the shouts of pedestrians and the honking of horns to hold still. He set off down a side street, with Milly hanging on.

  Jess rushed after her and grabbed the lead rope too, but Toffee was too strong to be stopped.

  “Help us!” Jess yelled as Toffee towed her and Milly out of the side street, toward the main road.

  Michael had stopped to be sick down a drain, but Jason managed to lend his strength to the pony’s lead rope. With three of them pulling, Toffee came to a stop.

  “We’ve got to get away from here,” said Jess. “To the park.”

  “There’s a crosswalk over there!” Jason pointed, and a Nestlé Crunch bar fell out of his sleeve. “Come on!”

  Between the three of them they pulled and coaxed Toffee farther up the street while Michael followed weakly behind. Drivers in cars stared. A motorbike courier veered off the road and crashed into a concrete pole.

  “We’re going to cause a real pileup!” Jason fretted. On the other side of the road there was a line of tall trees. “If we could only find cover…”

  “Seems to me Toffee had the right idea,” Michael muttered. “Let’s go with his first plan—just run!” So saying, he grabbed a handful of Toffee’s tail, shut his eyes tight, and thwacked his hand against the horse’s backside.

  Toffee tore free of Jess, Milly, and Jason and plunged across the road toward the trees, dragging Michael along behind. “Who needs a guide dog!” Michael yelled, clutching tightly to the pony’s tail. Cars skidded to a halt on either side of the crossing, blaring their horns.

  “Michael, you lunatic!” Jess yelled.

  Then the pony pushed through the tall trees, and with a yelp Michael crashed through after him.

  Jason led the way over the crossing in pursuit. They battled through the trees and emerged in a large park. Luckily, there weren’t many people about, and those who looked over ignored them. Toffee was standing in the shade of a willow tree, calmer now that he was away from the traffic, and Michael was slumped against the tree trunk.

  Jess marched over. “That was so dumb, Michael. You and Toffee could have been hurt!”

  “I could see through those trees,” he told her. “I knew there was a park on the other side. Maybe I could have been hurt—but I didn’t want to risk anyone else getting injured on the road because they were staring at us!”

  “Oh,” said Jess. She had to admit the explanation sounded pretty sensible. But she was still feeling cross, so she didn’t say so. Instead she kicked at the pile of Milky Ways growing up around Jason’s feet. Toffee nosed one aside as he began to graze, flicking his tail.

  “I want to go home,” said Jason quietly. “Back to Moreways Meet.”

  “That stupid house isn’t a home; it’s just the place we all live.” Michael sighed. “Even so, I wish we were back there too—”

  “Shush.” Milly waved her hands, suddenly concentrating. “I can hear…”

  “Sirens,” Jess concluded. She could hear the electronic wail now too.

  They all looked at each other in alarm.

  “Let’s hide!” said Jason.

  But Michael shook his head. “No point. The cops will just follow the trail of chocolate, sick, and horse poo.”

  “Toffee hasn’t pooed,” said Milly defensively.

  Michael eyed the pony’s backside grimly. “You can’t see what’s coming.”

  “There’s still an hour and a half till it gets dark.” Jason fretted. “You’re right, Michael, the police will find us, and they’ll take our names and address and even if we vanish at sunset they’ll drive over to our house and Mum’ll find out and—”

  “Skribble!” Milly exclaimed. She bent and pulled The Genie Handbook from Michael’s pocket. “Skribble will help us; I know he will. Where is he?”

  “He’s probably stuffing his face,” Michael muttered. “Or else he’s asleep.”

  “Asleep?” came a familiar, muffled cry. “Asleep, with all the commotion you have been causing, you churlish chitterlings?”

  “Please, Skribble,” Milly implored the bookworm. “Please, kind, wonderful Skribble, can you help us?”

  Skribble tutted. “I deduce that you have no lamp, my dear Milly. And so, I’m afraid, there is little you can do.”

  The sirens were getting very loud now. “But if we wait here till sunset we’ll be caught,” said Jason.

  “And they’ll throw us into prison and lock us up for ages,” said Michael.

  “Locked up again?” The worm trembled. “No!”

  “What do you mean?” Jess frowned. “Locked up…again?”

  Skribble stared at her, apparently dumbfounded for a moment. “Er, nothing. Simply a figure of speech…about being stuck in here.” He looked sharply at each of the children. “Now, before I agree to help, do you promise to try harder with your training?”

  Jess and Jason nodded. Michael gave a grunt.

  “Very well,” said Skribble as the sirens rose in pitch and volume. “You must find a metal container. With a little magical assistance, the container can be used as a temporary lamp—good for one wish only.”

  “Like a sort of emergency exit!” Jason realized.

  Jess stared around. “But where are we going to find a metal container?”

  “Would an empty soda can be all right?” asked Milly.

  Michael squinted at a nearby bin. “There’re a couple in there. Look out for the wasp in the one nearest the top.”

  Jason forced a path out through his minor mountain of chocolate bars. Just as he reached the bin, the shriek of the sirens suddenly stopped.

  “Quick!” Michael hissed, staring at the trees, frowning, and blinking as he used his X-ray vision. “The police have p
arked on the road over there. They’ll find us dead easy. We’ve got two minutes, tops, to get out of this!”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jason rummaged around in the bin. “I’ve found one of those cans,” he cried, pulling it out. “It’s a bit squashed—”

  “It’ll do,” said Jess, snatching it from him. “Now, what must we do, Skribble?”

  The bookworm puffed himself up grandly. “I must recite an incantation. Set down the container. Older boy, you stand beside it.”

  “The police!” Jess croaked. Two officers were pushing their way through the line of trees.

  Skribble quickly cleared his throat and began to recite:

  “Meg-deb, mug-dub, mig-dib, dun—

  Grant us one wish, O base metal, just one.

  Dub-mig, deb-mug, dib-meg, doo—

  A lamp be thy guise and thy magic be true!”

  With a flash and a cloud of cabbage-scented smoke, Michael was sucked up inside the can.

  “Hey, you kids!” called one of the officers.

  “They’re coming!” hissed Milly.

  “Argh!” came Michael’s faint cry from inside the can. “There’s a wasp in here!”

  “Sorry!” Jason wailed.

  “Don’t sting him,” Jess muttered, rubbing the can. “Don’t sting him yet, anyway….”

  Michael the genie swirled out of the can.

  “Quickly, girl!” commanded Skribble. “And get it right! Remember, you only have one chance—one single wish….”

  The nearest policeman was just a few strides away now. “We’ve had complaints that you kids and your horse have been running wild….”

  Jess closed her eyes and reeled off the wish: “I wish that Jason, Milly, Michael, and I were back in the den in our house in Moreways Meet just after sunset!”

  “Wishing won’t get you out of this,” said the officer gravely.

  “You’d better be wrong,” muttered Michael. And he clapped his hands.

  The world started to spin, just as it had done before. Jess felt the ground melt away beneath her feet and for a long moment she felt like she was floating. Then there was a bump and she knew she was standing on something solid again.