Shade of the Moon ls-4

by Susan Beth Pfeffer

  “Miranda,” he said, but she didn’t respond.

  “Ruby, come here!” he shouted.

  Ruby clattered down the stairs, Gabe running right behind.

  “Don’t blame me, Mr. Jon,” Ruby said. “Gaby wouldn’t stay put.”

  “Stay out of the way, Gabe,” Jon said. “When I lift Miranda up, Ruby, pull the blankets off the bed.”

  Ruby did as Jon told her. Then they swung Miranda onto the bed and covered her with the blankets.

  “Get another one from my room,” Jon said. “I don’t think she’s warm enough.”

  “Is she dead?” Gabe asked, walking around so he could get a better look.

  “No, she isn’t,” Jon said, but he wasn’t sure how alive she was, either. Miranda’s breaths were shallow and she was very pale.

  Ruby ran into the room carrying the blanket. “You’re gonna be awful cold tonight if you let her have all those,” she said.

  “I’ll worry about that tonight,” he said. “Have you made supper yet, Ruby?”

  “No, Mr. Jon.”

  “Then why don’t you go into the kitchen and make it,” Jon said. “Take Gabe with you. And keep quiet.”

  “Yes, Mr. Jon,” Ruby said. “Come here, Gaby. We’re going to make you a nice supper.”

  Jon sat on the bed next to Miranda and held her hand. Did she understand about the baby? And if she did, how could she bear losing both Mom and the baby? He held on to his sister’s hand and wished he could tell her how much he loved her, how much he’d hated hating her.

  Lisa arrived before Dr. Goldman. She walked into Miranda’s room and then went back to the kitchen. “Bring me in a chair,” she said to Ruby, and in a moment the chair was there and Lisa was sitting in it.

  “She’ll be all right,” she said to Jon. “I can’t say I’m surprised. All those chemicals she was working with in the greenhouses. No wonder the baby was born so deformed.”

  “It doesn’t matter why,” Jon said.

  “Of course it does,” Lisa said. “I got Miranda when we thought we were getting a greenhouse. She’s a greenhouse worker, Jon, not a domestic. She’ll be back in the greenhouses by Wednesday.”

  Miranda moaned.

  “It’s all right, Miranda,” Lisa said, stroking Miranda’s forehead gently. “You’re going to be fine. You just need to get your strength back.”

  Miranda murmured something.

  “She wants Laura,” Lisa said, and then her face crumpled. “Oh, Jon, how is she going to manage? This is all so unfair.”

  Jon stared at her.

  “What?” Lisa said angrily. “You think I don’t love her? She’s Hal’s daughter. I’ve watched her grow up. Of course I love her. I feel so helpless.”

  The doorbell rang. Ruby ran to answer it.

  “Miranda!” Alex cried. “Where is she?”

  “We’re back here,” Lisa said. “Ruby, show them in.”

  Alex raced past Ruby to Miranda’s bedside. Dr. Goldman followed, and Sarah came as well, lingering in the doorway.

  “Alex, give me a minute to examine her,” Dr. Goldman said. “If you could all excuse us for a moment.”

  “Come, Alex,” Lisa said, taking him by the hand. “Let’s wait here in the kitchen. Ruby, why don’t you take Gabe upstairs for a bit?”

  “I have supper cooking,” Ruby said. “Mr. Jon told me to make supper.”

  Jon realized Sarah was staring at Ruby. Ruby must have realized it also because she returned the look. “You Mr. Jon’s girlfriend?” she asked.

  “That’s none of your concern, Ruby,” Lisa said. “I told you to take Gabe upstairs and stay with him. I’ll make sure supper isn’t burned.”

  “All right, Mrs. Evans,” Ruby said. “Come on, Gaby. We’ll have a good time upstairs while all the grownups stand around worrying.”

  “I’ll see you later, darling,” Lisa said to Gabe. “When we grownups have stopped worrying.”

  Jon didn’t think Alex ever would. He was almost as pale as Miranda, and he kept shaking.

  Dr. Goldman came out a couple of minutes later. “She’ll be fine,” he said. “She was in labor for over twelve hours, and that left her weak. When they told her about the baby, she became hysterical, so they sedated her. It’s wearing off now. Alex, go in and talk to her. Let her know everything is going to be all right.”

  Sarah walked over to Jon and hugged him. He didn’t dare think about how soon she would be gone. There had been loss enough that day.

  Dr. Goldman let Alex sit with Miranda for ten minutes before telling him they had to go. “I don’t think there’ll be any problems,” he said. “But call me if there are.”

  “Thank you for coming,” Lisa said. She embraced Alex. “It’ll be all right,” she said. “Miranda will be back to normal in a day or two.”

  They walked to the front door together and watched as Alex helped Sarah and Dr. Goldman into the car.

  “Will he be okay?” Jon asked Lisa as they walked to the kitchen.

  “If she is, he is,” Lisa said. “She’s the world to him. Ruby, it’s time for supper. Bring Gabe downstairs.”

  “Yes, Mrs. Evans!” Ruby shouted.

  “I’m not hungry,” Jon said. “I think I’ll sit with Miranda.”

  “All right,” Lisa said. “Ruby can always heat you up something later.”

  Jon went back in and sat on the bed. Miranda turned her head and faced him. “Jon?” she said.

  “Yes, Miranda,” he said. “I’m here.”

  “My baby,” she said.

  “Miranda, I’m so sorry,” Jon said. “The baby died.”

  “No,” Miranda said. “I heard it cry.”

  “It lived for a few minutes,” Jon said. “Long enough for them to baptize it. I’m sorry, Miranda. I don’t know if it was a boy or a girl.”

  Miranda closed her eyes, and Jon thought she was going back to sleep. “Girl,” she said. “They said girl.”

  “Girl,” Jon said. Liana. Named for Alex’s sisters. Now just Baby Girl Morales, if they even bothered to make a record.

  “She isn’t dead,” Miranda said, and she grabbed Jon’s hand and held on to it tightly. “Jon, she’s alive. I know it.”

  “Miranda, you don’t want her to be alive,” Jon said. “She was deformed. Her death was a blessing.”

  “No!” Miranda said. “She’s alive. My baby’s alive!” She began sobbing.

  Lisa walked into the room. “Eat some supper, Jon,” she said. “I’ll sit with Miranda.”

  “They took my baby!” Miranda cried. “Lisa, they took my baby.”

  Lisa stroked Miranda’s cheek. “No, sweetie, they didn’t,” she said. “God took your baby. She’s in heaven now with your parents.”

  Miranda screamed. Lisa held on to her while Jon stood frozen.

  Ruby walked in and touched him. “Come, Mr. Jon,” she said. “There’s nothing you can do. Let that poor girl cry herself to sleep. In the morning it’ll all be better.”

  Sunday, July 19

  Lisa, Gabe, and Ruby went to church while Jon stayed home with Miranda. He helped her walk around the house and sat with her in the living room.

  “What did they tell you?” she demanded. “About my baby.”

  “Lisa called me and then Dr. Goldman spoke to someone at the hospital,” Jon replied. “Your baby was born alive but died a few minutes later. She was deformed. Everyone’s told you that, Miranda.”

  “I don’t believe it,” she said. “I don’t.” She paused. “Jon, are you sure Mom’s dead?”

  “Yes,” he said shortly. “I saw her body. Alex saw her, too. She’s dead, Miranda, and so’s your baby. You have to learn to accept it.”

  “Alex didn’t tell me,” she said. “I guess he didn’t have the chance. Where is she, Jon? What did they do with her body?”

  “A lot of people died that week,” Jon said. “The clavers were brought back for funerals. The ones from White Birch are going to be cremated.”

  “Going to?” Mira
nda said. “What is this, July what?”

  Jon thought about it. “The nineteenth, I guess,” he said.

  “And the people were killed on the Fourth?” she asked. “Two weeks ago and they haven’t cremated them yet? Was Mom killed on the Fourth? When did you see her?”

  “I saw her on the Fourth,” Jon replied. “Miranda, somehow she knew she was going to die. She told me how much she loved you, loved all of us. She died a couple of days later.”

  “Where did you see her body?” Miranda asked. “Where did they leave her?”

  “They left her in front of the school,” Jon said. “But they say they’re clearing out the bodies today. They’ll take her to a body pit and cremate her with everyone else. Now, can we change the subject?”

  “Where do you think they took my baby?” Miranda asked. “They wouldn’t bury her with the clavers. Do you think they took her back to White Birch and put her with all those other bodies? Or maybe they just threw her out with the garbage?”

  “Miranda, I’m sorry,” Jon said. “But it’s just a body. What difference does it make what they did with it? They won’t let you see her, and even if you could, you can’t bring her back to life. You can’t make her whole.”

  “You tell me Mom’s dead, and you say you saw her and Alex saw her,” Miranda said. “So I have to believe you. But you didn’t see my baby and Alex didn’t see my baby, and I heard her cry the way newborns do. The next thing I know, they’re plunging a needle into my arm and I wake up here. What if she isn’t dead, Jon?”

  “Maybe you’re right,” Jon said. “Maybe she is alive. But she’s so deformed it’s just a matter of time before she dies, and they didn’t want you hanging around at the hospital, so they lied about it. I’m not saying clavers don’t lie. They do. But if they did lie, it was to protect you.”

  Miranda looked away.

  “Lisa says the baby was deformed because of the work you did in the greenhouse,” Jon said. “The chemicals you handled. Miranda, if you and Alex leave, you’ll be able to have a healthy baby. This one died. Mom died. People die all the time. You have to accept it and move on.”

  “Jon, I killed Julie,” Miranda whispered. “This is my punishment.”

  “I know about Julie,” Jon replied. “Carlos told me. That’s why I was so angry with you. But I never thought you’d be punished. Not like this. Do you know what Mom would say if you told her that? She’d kill you!”

  Miranda managed a slight smile.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked. “Physically, I mean.”

  “A little weak,” she said.

  “I think we should do some more walking,” he said. “You need to get your strength back before you go to White Birch.”

  “I feel so hollow,” she said. “I feel like everything I love has been torn out from me.”

  “It hasn’t,” Jon said. “You have Alex and me and Matt. You even have Lisa and Gabe if you want them. Come on. Let’s walk some more, and then I’ll make you something to eat. I’ve become a pretty good cook, you know. Sarah made me.”

  Monday, July 20

  Lisa came into the bedroom where Miranda and Jon were sitting. “Miranda, they’re expecting you at the greenhouses on Wednesday,” she said. “You’re going to have to go home tomorrow.”

  “Good,” Miranda said. “I miss my job. And if I’m busy, I won’t think so much. But I don’t know how I’m going to get home. How am I supposed to get to the bus terminal if I’m not allowed to walk in Sexton?”

  “I’ll call Sarah,” Jon said. “She takes a car into White Birch in the afternoon. She could give you a lift to the clinic. You can walk home from there.”

  “I’d like that,” Miranda said. “The school’s just a few blocks from the clinic. It’s like Mom’s buried there. I know it’s not the same, but I need to say good-bye to her, and that’s as close as I can get.”

  “I think that’s a good idea,” Lisa said. “I still ache because I couldn’t say good-bye to my parents. Jon, call Sarah and see if she can give Miranda a lift. Maybe she’ll be lucky and Alex will be the driver.”

  “Alex,” Miranda said, and for the first time in days she looked almost happy. “At least I’ll be with Alex again.”

  Tuesday, July 21

  “Ready for the match Sunday, Evans?” Ryan asked at lunch.

  “As ready as you are,” Jon said. “Not much.”

  “Me, either,” Luke said. “It’s not as much fun without Tyler and Zachary.”

  “Plus, it’s a two-hour drive,” Ryan said. “Two hours of Coach screaming at us on the way there and two hours of him screaming on the way back.”

  “Why don’t you quit?” Sarah asked. “Find a different afterschool to do.”

  “Like what?” Ryan asked. “Giving the grubs milk and cookies like you do, Goldman?”

  “Milk and cookies,” Luke said. “I haven’t thought of them in years. Remember Halloween? Trick-or-treat? I’d eat all the candy right away. Boy, did I get sick.”

  Sarah didn’t seem to care about Halloween. “We do real work at the clinic,” she said. “Not that you know what real work is.”

  Ryan shuddered. “I hope I never find out,” he said. “What’s the point of being a claver if you have to work like a grub?”

  Jon and Luke laughed. Sarah scowled.

  “Someday, Goldman, I’d like to see you smile,” Ryan said. “Does she smile for you, Evans?”

  “Not very often,” Jon said. Sarah reached across the table and swatted him. “It’s true, Sarah. We fight more than we smile.”

  “He’s a challenge,” Sarah said to Ryan and Luke. “But I’ll whip him into shape.”

  Jon wished that were true. But with Sarah leaving in a week, he knew she wouldn’t have the chance.

  “Are you going to spend August bandaging the grubs?” Ryan asked. “Or are you taking the month off like the rest of us?”

  “I don’t know yet,” Sarah said. “I’d like to keep working, but my father has other ideas. I know you think the people in White Birch don’t deserve anything, but they’re human, Ryan. The same as you and me.”

  Luke shook his head. “They’re not, Sarah. I used to think like you, but I’ve seen too much, heard too many stories. Like the one Dad told Mom and me Saturday night.”

  “I don’t care what your father told you,” Sarah said.

  “I do,” Ryan declared. “What happened, Luke?”

  Luke looked like he didn’t need much encouragement. “Dad said there was a grubber girl at the hospital here,” he began. “She was pregnant and they decided to let her stay until she had the baby. She was treated as good as a claver. Even after the riots. Food, nurses, everything.”

  Sarah glanced at Jon, who shook his head almost imperceptibly.

  “She has the baby,” Luke continued. “They tell her it’s a healthy baby girl, and she gets hysterical. She says if she doesn’t bring home a son, her husband will beat her. She actually begged them to kill the baby. She got so hysterical they had to sedate her. She never did see the baby. She left the hospital refusing to. I guess she went back to White Birch and told her husband it died.”

  “What happened to the baby?” Jon asked, trying to sound as though he didn’t really care.

  Luke smiled. “There’s a happy ending,” he said. “The baby’s being adopted by a claver family. She’ll never know where she came from.”

  “Is she still in the hospital?” Sarah asked. “The baby?”

  “I don’t think so,” Luke said. “I think the family took the baby home that day. I can ask my dad if you want.”

  Sarah shook her head. “Don’t bother,” she said.

  Ryan laughed. “Admit it, Goldman,” he said. “No decent human being would act that way. Grubs are animals, just like I’ve been telling you.”

  “It takes one to know one,” Sarah said, looking at her watch. “I’ve got to go. I don’t want to keep the driver waiting.”

  “I’ll walk you outside,” Jon said. He’d be
en doing that since school had reopened, so he knew Ryan and Luke wouldn’t think anything of it.

  “See you tomorrow,” Sarah said. “Maybe by then you’ll have some manners.”

  “Don’t count on it, Goldman,” Ryan said.

  “See you in the gym,” Jon said. “Come on, Sarah.”

  They walked out of the lunchroom without speaking. Even when they were outside, Jon spoke so softly only Sarah could hear him.

  “Miranda was right,” he whispered. “Her baby’s alive.”

  “They stole it,” Sarah said. “Jon, we’ve got to get the baby back.”

  Jon nodded. “We have to be quiet about it,” he told her. “Don’t say anything to Miranda. It’s better if she thinks the baby’s dead until we can figure out what to do.”

  “It’ll be so hard,” Sarah replied, “driving in to White Birch with her and not saying anything.”

  “Distract her,” Jon said. “Distract yourself. Talk to her about me. Ask her what I was like as a kid. Ask her about Alex. She’ll expect you to distract her anyway, to keep from thinking about everything that’s happened. Just relax, as much as you can.”

  “I’ll talk to Daddy,” Sarah said. “We have to make sure no one else had a baby recently.”

  “Be careful,” Jon said. “It’s safer for him not to know.”

  Sarah stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. “Love you,” she said. “I’ll talk to you tonight.”

  “Love you, too,” Jon said. He watched as she walked to the car. Alex wasn’t driving. That was a relief. The drive to White Birch was going to be hard enough for Sarah. At least she was spared having Alex in the car.

  For once Jon was grateful for four hours of workouts and practices. He focused on the work, not minding when Coach shouted at all of them for being fat, lazy bums. The more noise Coach made, the less Jon had to think.

  When he got home, he played with Gabe. They stopped only when Sarah called to say Miranda had been the only grub at the hospital for the past week.

  “You didn’t tell your father why you asked?” Jon said.

  “No, I was careful,” Sarah said. “I told him we’d been talking at lunch about whether laborers could stay at the Sexton hospital. I said I thought they all could. Daddy set me straight. What are we going to do, Jon?”