Recipe for Love

by Aurora Rey

  That got her the laugh again. Drew reached into the cooler, topped off their wine. “I’m sure that was very confusing.”

  “I wish I still had my diary from that time. What about you? How did you realize you were attracted to women?”

  Drew let out a sigh, the kind that came with a good memory. “I had it bad for my third-grade teacher.”

  “Seriously? You knew that young?”

  She shrugged. “Not what it meant. More in retrospect. I was kind of in awe of her, but not in the way other girls in my class wanted to grow up and be her.”

  “That makes sense.” Hannah tried to think of a similar feeling. It definitely hadn’t come that early, but she could remember having strong attachments to her girlfriends growing up, especially the tomboy types.

  Drew looked out over the water. “I was terrified to come out. My family is pretty Catholic and I was scared of disappointing them, especially after my father died.”

  The comment jarred Hannah, a stark reminder of how little she knew about Drew. “I didn’t realize you’d lost your father. I’m sorry.”

  Drew smiled, offered a casual shrug. “I hardly remember him. He was in the Marines and was killed in a helicopter crash when I was six.”

  “Oh, wow. Still, I’m sure it was hard.” She didn’t get along with her father, but she also couldn’t imagine him not being around.

  “It was harder for my mom, I think. She had a lot of help from her mother, but she raised me on her own.”

  “You’re close to her, aren’t you?”

  “Very. She sacrificed so much so that I could have opportunities, everything I could possibly need. I owe her and my Grann everything.”

  Hannah thought about her relationship with her family. Fraught might be an overstatement, but she had nothing like the closeness Drew seemed to share with hers. Might it be different if her father weren’t such an overwhelming force in the equation? As soon as the thought crossed her mind, she banished it. She might not see eye to eye with him on everything, but she’d never wish him ill. And just like Drew alluded to, the financial strain on top of the loss would be devastating. No, she didn’t want to think about that at all.

  “Are you okay? You looked a million miles away just then.”

  “Sorry. My mind wandered.” Hannah took a sip of her wine and grabbed a slice of baguette. “I’m good. Tell me about culinary school, assuming you went to culinary school, of course.”

  Drew grinned and launched into the story of her first day. She joked about the incessant competition, especially with her male counterparts. It was no wonder she had that chip on her shoulder. Hannah might not get the appeal, but she could appreciate it was part of the culture. And she could definitely relate to the desire to do something well, proving the naysayers wrong in the process. Especially something seen as men’s work.

  They polished off the wine and put a dent in the massive amount of food. Drew packed up containers and they sat on the blanket, side by side, gazing out at the lake. They were on the wrong side to see the sunset, too, but it cast a soft, warm glow over everything.

  Hannah felt her body relax. Like, really relax. The work of the day, the work waiting for her tomorrow, melted away. The sexual tension that seemed ever-present didn’t vanish, but it settled into a gentle simmer, the kind of delicious anticipation that came with looking forward to something really good. Hannah didn’t try to chase it away or figure it out. She simply sat and enjoyed it.

  When Drew took her hand, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. She felt Drew’s gaze shift from the lake to her. Hannah turned to meet it. Drew’s stare managed to be both intense and playful. It flicked down to her mouth, then back to her eyes.

  Hannah knew the kiss was coming. She could have stopped it. But she really, really didn’t want to.

  Drew’s mouth grazed hers. Hannah’s lips parted unconsciously, asking for more. Drew obliged with a teasing play of tongue. So much better than she’d imagined, fantasized about. So much more dangerous. She broke the kiss. “This probably isn’t a good idea.”

  Drew pulled back, tried to process Hannah’s words. It wasn’t easy, over the roaring in her ears and other parts of her body. “What? Why?” She hated the needy edge that had crept into her voice.

  “We work together.”

  “Not really.” Surely, that wasn’t the real reason.

  “We do. And it’s through Nick. I care about him way too much to mess with his head chef.”

  Drew frowned. “Who said anything about messing with anyone? We’re adults. And unless I’m mistaken, the attraction is mutual.”

  “Until it isn’t. Then there’s a mess.”

  She didn’t know which bothered her more—the implication her attraction was ephemeral or the idea that Hannah’s was. “I don’t think that needs to be the case. I’m not planning to turn into an asshole. So unless you are…”

  Hannah closed her eyes and shook her head slowly. “It’s more complicated than that.”

  “Look, I’m not trying to be contrary, but I happen to think two mature people can explore being attracted to each other without it turning into a high-stakes negotiation.” She meant it, too. Sure, she’d had her fair share of misfires and the awkwardness of one-way feelings, but it didn’t have to be that way. Hell, she’d go out of her way to make sure it didn’t. She decided to try a different tactic. “I like you.”

  Hannah angled her head, looking suspicious. “I like you, too.”

  Realization struck. Drew tapped her index finger to her lips, then pointed at Hannah. “But you didn’t want to. Don’t want to, still.”

  Hannah folded her arms. “That’s not true.”

  Drew raised a brow.

  “Mostly not true.”

  “And you do now and you don’t like it. I get it. I’ve been there. I’m not going to pressure you. It’s gross and not how I operate. But I hope you’ll reconsider. Eventually.”

  Hannah dropped her hands into her lap and smiled. “Thanks.”

  “And I’m not just saying that because I want to get in your pants.” She did want to get in Hannah’s pants, but it wasn’t her only, or even primary, motivation.

  Hannah laughed, breaking the tension of the moment. “Good to know.”

  “I’ll let you take me home now. Not because I don’t want to keep spending time with you, but because I know you get up at an ungodly hour. And I probably took you away from your work today.” And because she wanted to keep things from getting awkward.

  “We probably should head back.” Hannah’s voice had a slight wistful quality to it, which Drew took as a good sign.

  They packed everything back into the truck and climbed in. Hannah was quiet, but it seemed to be reflective more than uncomfortable. Drew hoped it meant Hannah was considering what she said.

  When Hannah pulled into her driveway, she opened the passenger door, but paused. “Thanks for sharing such a special spot with me.”

  Hannah smiled. “I could come up with a few more I could show you if you’re bringing the picnic.”

  “You name the day and the place and I’ll be there.” She cringed. “Name the Monday, or odd Tuesday, actually.”

  “You got it.”

  Drew gathered her things and headed inside, a strange mix of pent-up energy and contentment settling inside her. It seemed like she and Hannah were closer, but that closeness brought into focus the things that kept them apart. She wanted to respect Hannah’s wishes, her boundaries. But with the taste of Hannah’s mouth lingering on hers, the warmth of Hannah’s body burned into her brain, all Drew could think about was wanting to kiss her again.

  Chapter Eleven

  I’ve got something that’s going to make you smile.

  Drew read the text and smiled. Really hard not to make a suggestive comment right now.

  Hannah answered with the eye roll emoji. Followed by, I’m talking about tomatoes.

  She might have been interested in something more salacious, but Hannah w
as right. The prospect of tomatoes did make her happy. Can’t wait.

  If you want to swing by this evening instead of tomorrow, I’ll show you my favorite way to have them.

  Drew sighed. She couldn’t stop herself from thinking about what might be her favorite ways to have Hannah. Saying so might be pushing her luck. What time?

  We’ll knock off by 7. Or you can come early and pick your own.

  She hadn’t picked anything since the day she spent learning the workings of the farm. She wasn’t in a rush to have another full day of farm labor, but picking tomatoes seemed easy enough. And it felt like she’d been waiting on them for fucking ever. Be there by 5.

  It was only three now. She’d planned to finish laundry and head to the brewery for a beer, but the prospect of spending some time with Hannah had far more appeal. Did the invitation mean sharing a meal together? Hannah had been hesitant to do that in the two weeks since their picnic, or perhaps more accurately, how that picnic ended.

  If she closed her eyes, she could still summon the incredible softness of Hannah’s mouth, the way she tasted like summer laced with wine and strawberries. The skin of her thigh, the lines of her neck. The abrupt end to what she’d hoped was just the beginning.

  The sound of her phone jarred her back to the moment. She swiped a finger across the screen. “Hey, Grann.”

  “How’s my country girl today?”

  Drew chuckled. “Fixin’ to go pick some tomatoes.”

  Grann let out a contented hum. “I can’t remember the last time I had a tomato right from the vine.”

  “Aw, come on. We get fresh stuff in the city.”

  “Child, until you’ve eaten a tomato still warm from the sun, don’t talk to me about fresh.”

  “You and Manman should come up for a visit.” The words were out of her mouth before she’d thought it through, but Drew warmed to the idea immediately. Why hadn’t she thought of that before?

  Grann laughed. “Not two months ago, you insisted you wouldn’t live there long enough to make it worth the trouble. Are you changing your tune?”

  She shook her head, remembering the conversation. “Not changing my tune. I’ve just decided upstate in the summer is rather charming. You should come enjoy it while I’ve got a place we can all stay.”

  “Your Manman will be done with summer school in a couple of weeks. Let me see if I can talk her into it.”

  “I’ll do some research. I think there’s a bus that goes direct to the town just south of here. You wouldn’t even have to drive.” Her mother drove, but only to work and when absolutely necessary. Not having to navigate out of the city and drive for four hours would up the appeal considerably.

  Grann hummed again, then asked about Drew’s work, her house. Drew got caught up on the neighborhood, including two babies, one divorce, and one quick and dirty elopement. She’d not lived at home for a good ten years, but the news and gossip made her homesick—for the place, but also for life before the complexities of adulthood.

  Drew ended the call and took a moment to laugh at herself. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so nostalgic. Living in the country was making her soft. She shook off the idea and got ready to head to the farm, including sunscreen. She probably didn’t need it for only a couple of hours, but she didn’t want to risk Hannah making fun of her again.

  On the way there, she put down the windows and cranked the music loud. The temperature had crept close to ninety earlier in the afternoon, but it was already inching downward, making the air pleasantly warm rather than oppressively hot. She’d never put a lot of stock in the idea of urban heat islands, but living here made her accept they existed.

  She turned into the parking lot, having to take a spot along the driveway to the back fields. Word must be out that tomatoes were picking. She decided to stop in at the barn first. If Hannah wasn’t there, whoever was would know where to find her. The farm stand was hopping—kids running around, people clutching baskets and canvas bags full of produce, and several people carrying large plastic totes. She’d forgotten that Monday was farm share day.

  “Hey, Drew.”

  She turned toward the voice and found Hannah’s sister smiling at her from behind the register. “Hey, Clare. Do you know where Hannah is?”

  “Far field, by the picnic area.”

  “Thanks.”

  She escaped the bustle of the retail space and headed toward the back vegetable patch. Fewer people were picking produce than buying it, but the rows were dotted with people hunched over plants or surveying their options. She spotted Hannah right away, wearing a floppy straw hat and chatting with a couple who looked overdressed for picking vegetables.

  As if sensing Drew’s gaze, Hannah looked her way. Her body instantly responded and she did her best to ignore it. She made her way toward Hannah, exchanging hellos and nods with the people she passed. By the time she got there, the couple had moved down the row and were eagerly filling a small basket with jalapeños.

  “I thought I might be getting first dibs, but it looks like the word is out.”

  Hannah laughed. “You can thank Clare for that. Her fresh crop alerts seem to be working.”

  “That’s too bad.” She shook her head in mock disapproval. “I’ll have to see if I can get some kind of advance notice.”

  “I can’t be caught playing favorites, you know.”

  Hannah saying such a thing implied Drew might fall into the category of favorites. That made her happy. “I wouldn’t tell. It could be our little secret.”

  Hannah shook her head, but it was accompanied by a playful smile and her eyes sparkled. “Well, you are usually the first person to show up at the market in the mornings.”

  “That should earn me some special consideration, don’t you think?”

  “Maybe.”

  Drew got the feeling they were talking about more than first pick of the day’s produce. But she wanted to tread lightly. She’d already scared Hannah off once. “It looks like there are plenty still to pick today.”

  Hannah grinned. “Plenty. Well, plenty cherries. You’ll be able to snag a few heirlooms, but probably not enough for the restaurant for a few more days.”

  “I’ll take it.”

  Hannah handed her a basket and pointed down a row. “There are several varieties. Sweet 100, Sun Golds, Chocolate Cherry.”

  Drew nodded and surveyed the plants. There had to be at least fifty in this row alone. She could see bite-size fruits poking out between the leaves, just waiting to be picked. She envisioned them in a simple caprese salad, or maybe a panzanella. Or roasted, their juices caramelizing to sweet and tangy perfection. “Do I get to sample as I go?”

  Hannah moved the basket she’d been holding to her hip and studied Drew with sudden intensity. “Have you ever had a tomato right off the vine?”

  Drew smirked. “I take it you mean a vine still attached to the plant.”

  “I do.” Hannah leaned down. When she stood, two perfectly tiny tomatoes were in her hand, one red and one orange. “Here. Try these.”

  “You know, I was just on the phone with my grandmother and she was carrying on about the same thing.” Drew popped one of the tomatoes in her mouth. The flavor exploded on her tongue, the quintessential taste of summer. And just like Grann had described, still warm from the sun. “Wow.”

  “I know it’s hard to wait until July, but it’s worth it, right?” Hannah took one from her basket and put it in her mouth. She closed her eyes and Drew watched the pleasure play across her face.

  Although Hannah’s enjoyment had nothing to do with her, Drew’s body reacted. It reminded her of the moment after the kiss, before Hannah’s defenses went up. It was the same kind of unguarded pleasure, sensuous and pure. “So worth it.”

  Hannah opened her eyes. Her smile remained, but the moment was gone. “I’ve got a flat already in the barn for the restaurant, so whatever you pick now is for your own enjoyment.”

  Her stomach dropped like the comment was for
eplay. Relax, dude, she’s talking about tomatoes. “So, was that it?”

  “Was what it?”

  “Right off the vine. Is that your favorite way to eat them?”

  “No.” The playful exasperation was a good look on her. “I’ve got a couple of heirlooms stashed in the barn for us.”

  Drew liked her use of the word “us,” the intimacy it sort of implied. She’d take what she could get. “I’m intrigued.”

  “It does require going to my house when we’re done here. Is that okay with you?”

  She resisted the urge to chuckle. Not exactly how she’d hoped to score an invite to Hannah’s place. Then again, nothing about Hannah was what she expected. And whether she wanted to admit it or not, it turned out she kind of liked it that way. “Absolutely.”

  They picked for an hour, then stopped by the barn to make sure everything was settled for the night. Clare had already counted money and stacked the credit card receipts. Hannah took an envelope for depositing at the bank, then secured the rest in the office safe. She locked up and then gestured to her truck. “Do you want to follow me? It’s not far.”

  Drew nodded. “Sounds good.”

  * * *

  Hannah pulled into her driveway, Drew right behind. It occurred to her as she was sending the text that it carried with it an invitation to her house. But she hadn’t changed her mind, or the wording. And now here they were. Her insides felt like a bundle of nerves, anticipating—what, exactly?

  She hadn’t implied anything more than a shared meal. But even as she made that argument to herself, it fell flat. There was an unspoken intimacy in what they were doing, whether it led to anything physical or not. An intimacy of her own making.

  She climbed out of her truck, willing herself to offer a casual smile. Drew did not need to know the nature of her thoughts. Nor did she need to know just how attracted to her Hannah remained.

  “This is a great place,” Drew said.

  “Thanks.” It was the polite thing to say, but she got the feeling Drew really meant it. She reached back into her truck to grab the tomatoes.