Jurassic Carp

by Mo O'Hara

In a second we heard the key clunk down to the floor. Frankie nudged it under the door with his tail, and I quickly opened the lock and scooped Frankie into his water-filled flagon.

  ‘Well done, Frankie!’ I cried.

  He winked at me as if to say, ‘Hey, I’m a professional. I do this kind of thing all the time!’

  I grabbed the blueprints and shoved them down my tights before we raced down the stairs.

  Instead of going into the courtyard at the bottom of the stairs, we crept along the main hall, past all the old suits of armour and shields on display. The hall led to an exit by the stables, which is where we hoped we’d find Sebastian.

  We were right.

  ‘There you are’ he said, hobbling over. ‘I’ve been looking for you. My big toe is sprained so I can’t compete . . . but you’re right, there is something strange about the Night Knight. I think he’s cheating, which is definitely not in the knights’ code of conduct. We’ve got to prove he’s not playing by the rules, but I don’t know how.’

  ‘Well, we think the Night Knight is actually an evil robot,’ I said.

  ‘A what?’ Sebastian shook his head.

  ‘Well, more like a giant remote-controlled toy,’ Pradeep corrected me.

  ‘Our evil big brothers made him to win some kind of contest,’ I added. ‘If they win there will be lots more Night Knight robots . . . all under Mark and Sanj’s control.’

  ‘If the Night Knight is a robot then we have to report it. It’s the right thing to do,’ Sebastian said. He called over Motley Fool, who was walking past with some jousting poles.

  ‘Excuse me, Mr Fool,’ Sebastian said. ‘I need to report that the Night Knight is competing under false pretences.’

  ‘What say you, sir?’ Motley Fool answered. ‘That is a serious allegation thou hast made.’

  ‘Yes, but it’s true. On my honour, sir, I believe the Night Knight to be a robot.’

  Motley Fool looked at Sebastian and then broke into a full belly laugh. ‘Why, sir, thou hast made a goodly jest! Now we’ll have no more interruptions. I must make haste to start the jousting.’

  He handed Sebastian one of the jousting poles.

  ‘Robot? Next thing he’ll tell me it’s an evil robot!’ the fool mumbled to himself as he walked away.

  ‘I knew they wouldn’t believe us without proof,’ I said. ‘But we might be able to get some.’

  Pradeep looked at me and then at the jousting pole that Sebastian was holding. ‘It’s a pretty big MIGHT though,’ he said.

  ‘Whatever it is, I shall help. Oh, and I think there’s something up with Guinevere too. She seems a little dazed and confused,’ Sebastian said.

  Frankie peeked out of the flagon guiltily.

  ‘Err . . . well, we wanted to help calm her down. So Frankie kind of hypnotized her,’ I said.

  ‘So your goldfish is a horse whisperer now?’ Sebastian asked.

  ‘More a horse zombifier,’ Pradeep replied. ‘But don’t worry, there are no lasting side effects. My little sister has been zombified by Frankie dozens of times.’

  With that we heard a distant cry of ‘SWISHY FISHY! SWISHY FISHY!’ and Sami, Pradeep’s three-year-old little sister, came scampering across the stone floor from the other end of the hall, dressed as a medieval princess complete with pointy hat and veil.

  Sami ran straight up to us and grabbed Frankie in the flagon to give him a big hug.

  ‘Hi, Sami,’ Pradeep said. ‘Is Mum with you?’

  ‘Mummy runs slow,’ Sami said, and then she stopped and stared up at Sebastian in his full knight’s armour. She held out her hand and knocked on his leg. ‘Is knight real?’ she asked.

  ‘Hello, little princess,’ Sebastian said and smiled. ‘I am most certainly real, and I am at your service.’ He did one of those bows where you wave your hand in front of your face in a really elegant knight way. If I did that I would look like I was swatting medieval flies.

  Sami giggled and turned red. Then she curtsied. ‘Mr Knight,’ she said.

  ‘This is my little sister Sami,’ Pradeep said. ‘Sami, this is Sebastian.’

  She thought for a second and pulled a face. ‘Not knight name.’ She shook her head.

  ‘I know!’ Sebastian smiled at Sami. ‘So tell me your plan,’ he said to us.

  ‘If you can’t do the joust then maybe Tom or I could do it in your place? We could pretend to be the Knight-Mare,’ said Pradeep.

  ‘Can either of you ride a horse?’ asked Sebastian. ‘Or handle a jousting pole? Or fit in my suit of armour?’

  We both shook our heads. Maybe the plan wouldn’t work after all.

  Pradeep’s mum came running up to where we were standing. ‘Sami,’ she said breathlessly. ‘I’ve been calling to you since you ran across the drawbridge.’

  ‘Whoopsie,’ Sami said, and then turned to Sebastian. ‘Look – real knight.’

  Mrs Kumar held out her hand to shake Sebastian’s, but he held it and kissed it lightly. ‘I’m Sebastian, madam. A pleasure to meet you. You have a delightful daughter.’

  ‘Oh, how lovely.’ Mrs Kumar blushed as she spoke. Then she turned to Pradeep, gasped, and immediately grabbed a wet wipe out of her handbag to clean the mud off his tunic. ‘I can’t let you walk around the castle like this!’ she tutted.

  ‘Mum!’ Pradeep mumbled. ‘It’s OK. All the other peasants are muddy.’

  ‘Are they my peasants?’ she answered. ‘No.’

  Sami tugged on Mrs Kumar’s skirt. ‘Me stay with Pradeep?’ She gave her mum the big soppy-eyes look. ‘Please?’

  ‘All right,’ Mrs Kumar said and patted Sami on the head. ‘I’ll go and get us a drink. Pradeep, will you look after Sami? I’ll be back in ten minutes. I hope to see you later as well, Mr Sebastian,’ she called as she left for the drinks tent.

  ‘We have to come up with another plan,’ Pradeep whispered. ‘But what?’

  Suddenly Guinevere trotted up behind us and nudged Frankie’s flagon with her nose. She still had the zombie stare and was very calm.

  ‘I thought you were in the arena?’ said Sebastian, stroking her nose. ‘Did you just walk here all on your own? How did you know where to find us?’

  Frankie winked at me from his flagon.

  ‘Wait, I think I know how we can do this,’ I said.

  ‘We don’t need to know how to ride a horse,’ I told Sebastian as Sami stroked the white mare’s mane. ‘Frankie can control Guinevere so that she is safe and so are we.’

  ‘Do you mean to say that Frankie is mind-controlling Guinevere right now?’ Sebastian asked.

  ‘Yeah, it’s something he does a lot,’ Pradeep admitted.

  ‘But you can’t compete out there without proper armour,’ Sebastian said.

  ‘We passed lots of suits of armour in the hall,’ I replied.

  ‘Yes, we can use one of those!’ Pradeep added, running back into the hall. We left Guinevere in a stable pen and followed Pradeep inside. He stood next to one of the suits of armour, but he only came up as high as the waist.

  ‘I’m sorry to say, I don’t think they’ll fit you,’ Sebastian said with a smile.

  Then I ran over and jumped on Pradeep’s back and shoulders.

  ‘Ugh!’ muttered Pradeep.

  ‘But it would fit both of us together,’ I cried. I balanced Frankie’s flagon on the hat on top of my head. ‘And Frankie makes it a perfect fit.’

  ‘Yes,’ agreed Pradeep. ‘That way Frankie can see to steer Guinevere and we can hold the jousting pole.’

  ‘I don’t know if this is safe,’ Sebastian said. ‘And your legs won’t touch the floor – how will you walk?’

  ‘We won’t have to!’ I said. ‘We can get on to Guinevere in the stables, so no one will see us off the horse.’

  ‘But the Night Knight is much, much stronger than you. Even with Frankie’s help,’ Sebastian persisted, ‘how do you plan to stop him?’

  Pradeep got that glow he gets when a really, really good plan starts to come together i
n his head. ‘Well,’ he said. ‘We know that the Night Knight stops working if he gets too wet. So if we can get a jet of water to hit him in a vulnerable spot then we can stop him mid-joust.’ He looked over at the pole Sebastian was holding.

  My mind started catching up with Pradeep’s. ‘All we need to do is rig up the jousting pole like it’s a really long water pistol,’ I said.

  ‘We make a chain of straws from the drinks stand and run them along the pole, right from the tip down to Frankie inside the flagon,’ Pradeep said.

  Frankie poked his head out of the top of the flagon and shot a jet of water at Sebastian.

  ‘And you know he’s a good shot!’ I handed Sebastian the parachute handkerchief to dry his face.

  Sebastian paused and looked at me and Pradeep, then at Frankie, and then at the suit of armour. ‘Right, Tom, you go and get some straws from the drinks stand, I’ll grab the suit of armour and bring it out to the stables, and let’s get you two suited up and ready for a joust!’ he said.

  Sami jumped and clapped. ‘Yaaay!’

  ‘When you’re ready I’ll go and tell the judges that I have deputized my squire to take over for me for the event. It’s within the rules for a squire to step in and you two are the closest thing to a squire that I have,’ Sebastian added.

  Pradeep and I rigged up the armour so the straw chain ran from the helmet, down the arm and all along the jousting pole. All Frankie had to do was shoot a spray of water through the straws, aiming at the Night Knight’s visor.

  Sebastian put the legs of the suit of armour on to Guinevere’s back and then lifted up Pradeep so he could sit inside. Next I was lifted up and the body of the suit of armour was attached. Finally, he balanced Frankie’s flagon on my head by rolling up both my and Pradeep’s hats and using them to wedge the flagon into the helmet. I hadn’t realized quite how dark it would be in a big metal suit of armour.

  ‘I’ll go and tell the judges now,’ he said, once he was sure we were comfortable.

  ‘You OK out there, Sami?’ Pradeep mumbled.

  ‘Yup!’ Sami shouted.

  I could hear the sounds of jousting going on out in the courtyard. Well, I assume it was jousting. It sounded like galloping horses and then the crashing, crumpling sound of metal hitting metal.

  ‘Are you sure we’ll be safe in this suit, Pradeep?’ I asked.

  ‘We only have to last long enough to spray the Night Knight with water,’ he replied. ‘We won’t even get hit . . . hopefully.’

  Footsteps approached and we felt the thud of a metal glove against the back plate of the armour. ‘This is my trusted squire Pra . . . Tom,’ Sebastian’s voice said. ‘And this is Princess Sami.’

  Sami giggled.

  ‘Pra-tom?’ a man’s voice said, and I thought I heard a pencil scribbling on paper. ‘That’s an interesting name.’

  ‘Mmmmm,’ I agreed loudly from under the visor of the helmet.

  ‘It’s a shame you can’t compete yourself, but the crowd will be glad that they are getting to see a final joust anyway,’ the man said. ‘The paperwork is in order. Good luck, Pra-tom. I think you’ll need it,’ he added under his breath.

  Then we heard Sami squeal, ‘Mummy look! Swishy fishy horsey!’

  ‘Hello, Mrs Kumar,’ Sebastian said. ‘Perfect timing.’ Then he spoke to Sami. ‘Maybe you should go off with your mother now so that we can get . . . the knight here . . . ready for the joust.’

  ‘OK,’ Sami said. ‘Bye bye swishy fishy horsey.’

  ‘Have Pradeep and Tom gone off to see the joust with their class then?’ Mrs Kumar asked.

  ‘Ahem,’ coughed Sebastian. ‘Er, they won’t have the best view from where they’re sitting, but they’ll definitely be able to get a feel for the joust.’

  ‘Right,’ Mrs Kumar said. ‘Come on then, princess.’

  The next thing we knew, Guinevere had started walking. ‘This is it!’ I whispered.

  ‘Mmph!’ Pradeep whispered back. I think he was a bit squashed.

  Then we heard Mrs Richards’s voice. ‘Excuse me, sir?’ She must have been speaking to Sebastian. ‘Have you seen two boys in peasant outfits over this way? They might have already gone to sit with their parents?’

  Sebastian mumbled, ‘Ummm . . . I think they’ve already taken their seats for the final joust. It’s about to start.’

  ‘Yes, that’s probably where they are. Thank you,’ she said.

  ‘He managed to put both of them off without actually lying!’ Pradeep mumbled. ‘See, chivalry is real!’

  ‘Respect,’ I said. ‘Sebastian,’ I shouted out loud through the armour. ‘Can you see Mark and Sanj anywhere? Sanj is dressed as a wizard and Mark is dressed as a Lord.’

  Sebastian tapped on the armour. ‘Yes, that must be them. They are on the far side of the courtyard speaking to the Night Knight. He’s already on his horse.’ He handed me the lance and fiddled with the straws to make sure they were all connected. ‘OK, the Knights of the Rose and the Crown are on their final pass. You guys are up next. Are you sure you want to do this?’

  ‘We can’t let the Night Knight win,’ Pradeep said. ‘It’s just not chivalrous.’

  ‘And we can’t let Mark and Sanj enter the Evil Scientist competition. I don’t even want to think about what our evil big brothers would do with an army of Night Knights,’ I added.

  Sebastian adjusted the lance so it was wedged under the arm of the suit of armour, secured the reins around my other gauntlet, and fed the end of the straw to Frankie in the helmet.

  ‘When we get close enough, fire away, Frankie!’ Pradeep mumbled. ‘Tom, just hold on.’

  ‘Check!’ I said as Sebastian led Guinevere to the starting point for the joust. Then I heard a final clatter of horses’ hoofs and a sound that sounded a lot like a knight breaking.

  The trumpets sounded again and Motley Fool’s voice boomed across the courtyard. ‘Lords, Ladies and visiting guests of Castlerock Castle. Please be upstanding for the final joust of the day!’

  The crowd clapped and cheered.

  ‘Let us welcome . . . the Night Knight!’ he shouted. We heard the stomping of hoofs and more cheering.

  ‘And . . .’ He paused. ‘The noble squire of the Night-Mare . . . Pra-tom!’

  The crowd cheered for us too.

  ‘Now the dangerous and deadly tournament of the joust doth begin!’

  ‘I think I might have changed my mind,’ Pradeep said – just as Guinevere began her gallop.

  We bounced along on the horse’s back. I could hear the hoofs of the Night Knight’s horse approaching and just as I thought we’d be trampled, I felt a dribble of water from the flagon as Frankie spat water through the straws on the lance.

  But something was wrong. The Night Knight was still charging. His lance batted against ours at full gallop. I felt the full force and fell backwards. If the saddle hadn’t had a back edge, I think we would have been pushed right off Guinevere’s back!

  ‘Frankie? Pradeep? Are you OK?’ I mumbled as Guinevere galloped down the rest of the track.

  ‘Why can’t we ever just have a normal day out?’ mumbled Pradeep, while Frankie splashed water on to my head to show he was all right.

  When we got to the other side, one of the other squires grabbed the reins and held Guinevere while Sebastian hobbled over to us. ‘Are you all all right in there?’ he whispered as he righted us on the saddle and turned the horse around. ‘That didn’t exactly go to plan.’

  ‘The Night Knight must have deflected our blow,’ Pradeep replied.

  ‘Exactly,’ Sebastian said. ‘Your lance was pointed directly at his head, but the Night Knight changed position and blocked the blow. The water landed on his breastplate, not his visor.’

  ‘We have to try again,’ I said.

  ‘Your lance is broken,’ Sebastian said, taking the water-pistol lance from us and wedging a new one under the arm of the armour. ‘I borrowed a spare – but it’s not rigged for your water-jet plan.’ He paused. ‘I know
you don’t want to hear this, but you need to stop and forfeit the contest. Before you get hurt.’

  Frankie was thrashing around like crazy in his flagon. ‘Calm down, Frankie, or you’ll fall out,’ I said. But that just made him thrash more.

  ‘Wait. Maybe that’s what he wants to do?’ Pradeep said. ‘To throw himself against the Night Knight’s visor and shoot him with water at point-blank range.’

  Sebastian lifted our visor and peered in at Frankie. ‘He’s nodding his head,’ he said.

  ‘That is what he wants to do.’

  The trumpets sounded for the next round. Sebastian started to say, ‘No, it’s too risky. You need to forfeit . . . swishy little fishy . . . swishy little fishy . . .’

  ‘Frankie!’ I whispered. ‘Did you just zombify Sebastian so he wouldn’t stop you?’

  I could feel Frankie nod.

  ‘Maybe this isn’t such a good idea . . .’ Pradeep began, but Guinevere was already racing down the track.

  The hoofs got louder and louder and I remembered the feeling of the lances hitting one another.

  ‘Hang in there, Pradeep!’ I cried.

  A second later, I heard a whoosh as Frankie flung himself out of the helmet. There was a thwack – then the sound of popping and fizzing – and Guinevere started to slow down.

  ‘It sounds like he made it!’ Pradeep cried.

  ‘But is Frankie all right?’ I yelled.

  The sound of the Night Knight’s horse’s hoofs got further and further away. Then we heard a big pop like a massive bottle of cola exploding from putting too many mints in it.

  ‘I think that was the Night Knight’s circuit board exploding,’ Pradeep said.

  ‘It worked,’ I cried. ‘But we’ve got to get back and rescue Frankie. How do we get Guinevere to stop?’

  ‘I’m not sure Frankie’s controlling the horse any more,’ Pradeep shouted to me. We were being bounced around as Guinevere turned right, then left, and reared up in confusion.