Squad Goals

by Kate Karyus Quinn

“I’m running some more,” I yell, keeping a safe distance as I reactivate his collar. It glows brightly in the falling dark. “Go back to the cabin and for gods’ sake, put some clothes on!”

  He smiles before he turns around, and I honestly can’t say if his front is more distracting than his backside.

  “You gone long?” he calls over his shoulder.

  I take one last look at his nicely shaped ass in the moonlight.

  “A while,” I say. And then I shift, running in the opposite direction, as fast as I can.

  15

  Stupidly, it isn’t until we’re in front of the portal at the end of a long dirt road that I realize we have a problem.

  We need to go through the portal. Hermes’ club is in Southern Florida. We are currently in Upstate New York. We also need the van. With our wanted status we can’t be walking around in a pack or hailing a cab.

  Needing some guidance, I turn to the passenger seat where Shauna smiles back at me. She insisted on having shotgun because she gets carsick. I expected Tina to make a stink, but she just shrugged and said, “The front seat is for servants.” Then she climbed in the back.

  Now from behind me, Tina hollers, “What’s the hold up?”

  “We can’t take the van through the portal. Mechanicals and magic don’t mix,” I remind her.

  This is so basic it was in our new student papers for MOA. No cell phones. No GPS. No computers or gaming systems, it said on the packing list.

  Tina stares back at me and I can tell this problem did not occur to her either. “Well shit.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Hello,” Tamika waves a hand from the back of the van. “Maybe consult the witch when you have a magical problem, instead of the vampire who doesn’t know anything that doesn’t involve strength and blood and death.”

  Tina’s eyes narrow and she gives Tamika an evil smile. “And pain,” she says. “Don’t forget pain.”

  “Yes, there will be some pain,” Tamika agrees. “But we’ll share it.” Whipping out her stiletto blade, she looks to me. “Pop the hood, but keep the engine running. We’re going to trick the portal into thinking the van is alive.”

  “This sounds like a terrible plan,” Tina says aloud to no one, but she follows Tamika out of the van along with the rest of us.

  “I feel like I’m working for the Red Cross with all the blood donation,” Mac gripes as Tamika cuts him in the same spot where he was tapped the other day for Shauna’s bloody dinner.

  “I’m feeling a bit of a slacker,” Trevor’s voice comes from where he floats above watching as one after another we let our blood drip onto the van’s warm engine. “Tami, dear, you don’t know any spells to restore a bloke’s body, do you?”

  I slam down the van’s hood, leaving a bloody handprint behind. “Nobody is getting their body restored. Everyone back in the van so we can find out if this works or not.”

  Behind the wheel once more, I lightly press the gas, nudging us to the lip of the portal. Rolling down the window, I toss in the key, watching as the fountain in front of us (with a naked Hermes, as always, at its center) lights up.

  “Here goes nothing,” I say. “Hold on tight.”

  I floor it. With a jolt we bounce over the lip of the fountain and then into the portal.

  The cold hits me like a bucket of cold water poured into my soul.

  The van is gone. And everyone in it too. There’s just the cold and a blackness that goes on forever.

  Normally, this is where I’d force myself to take a step forward and through—out to the other side. But I’m not walking. So instead, I squeeze tight to the steering wheel that isn’t there and keep my foot pressed to the non-existent gas pedal.

  We hang in that dark nothing for longer than usual, like it’s deciding whether to chew us up or let us pass.

  And then, in the next instant, we’re through.

  The van bounces as it touches solid ground again and the tires squeal against the dirt beneath them once more. Quickly, I brake and then put the van into park. We all stumble back out of the van, shivering together in the humid heat of a Florida evening.

  “Wow, I definitely thought we were stuck there forever,” Shauna says.

  “Yes, I’m surprised that worked,” Tamika agrees. “I honestly thought you’d call my bluff.”

  Furious and still freezing, I spin to face them. “Shut up all of you and get back in the van. I don’t want to hear another word until we get to the club!”

  They’re silent...for all of ten seconds. Then Mac leans into Griff and says in a low voice. “I think she’s on the rag. What do you say? You bears can sense that type of thing, right?”

  Griff grunts in response.

  Gritting my teeth, I climb back behind the wheel. On the road once more, I comfort myself with one thought. “At least I was right about these being the worst supes on the planet. I sure can pick them.”

  It’s one in the morning when we pull up to ChiXXX and DiXXX. I turn around and eye everyone in the back of the van. A witch, a bear shifter, an incubus, a ghost, and a vampire-pixie.

  “We don’t have a lot in common,” I tell them. “I actually despise a few of you.”

  “Great pep talk,” Trevor says. “I’m ready to storm the castle.”

  “But…” I say. “We all have something we want.”

  “If working with you losers is how I get my brother back, I’m all in,” Tina says from the passenger seat.

  “Right,” I agree. “Let’s get this done, and try really hard not to suck.”

  “I thought you were off there at the beginning,” Shauna says, “But you totally brought it home with that not sucking part.”

  “Tamika…” I reach out my hand to her and she uses a pin to prick me. The drop of blood falls on to her hand and she rubs it onto her skin, drawing a symbol there.

  “So gross,” Trevor says.

  “Speak for yourself,” Shauna and Tina say at the same time. Shauna grins and Tina gives her a wink.

  Tamika mumbles something and I feel my features changing. I look in the rearview mirror; I’ve aged about fifty years in the last fifteen seconds.

  “Will this fool Hermes?” I ask.

  “I don’t know,” Tina says. “You still look like you, just older.”

  “Trust me, Hermes won’t give an old bag like you a second glance,” Mac assures me.

  Tamika follows suit with Tina. She ages before my eyes. “That is wild,” I say. “Do you want to see…”

  “No,” Tina answers curtly. “I’m good.”

  “Okay, we know our jobs,” I say. I look each of them in the eye. My prisoners, collarless, powerful, and the worst of the worst. What have I done?

  Before I can change my mind, Mac says, “Just give me ten and I’ll have Hermes eating out of the palm of my hand.” He hops out of the van.

  “You, mosquito girl,” Tina says to Shauna. “Your job is to find whatever drugs Hermes has Cassie on. We don’t want her going into withdrawal at the cabin. If we have the drugs we can wean her, but can you wait to get your fix until after we’ve done what we came to do?”

  It’s a risky proposition. Mac told us that Hermes is a notorious cheapskate; whatever drug he has Cassie on, it’s more than likely that he’s cutting it with sugar. This makes Shauna the best one of our group to sniff it out. It also makes her the most likely to lose her shit and dose herself up before completing the mission.

  “I can resist a little sugar if you tease me with a bigger dose later…sugar,” she says flirtatiously. Shauna turns into her pixie size and flits out the door.

  Trevor gives me a salute and follows her. While Mac is distracting Hermes, Shauna will find the drugs and snag them. At the same time, Trevor will search the club, and hopefully locate the employees’ contracts. Once that’s done, we just need to convince Hermes to void those contracts so that we can hurt him as much as we want. Easy peasy lemon squeazy.

  “Maybe we shouldn’t have had the addict be the one to snag the d
rugs,” Tamika says.

  “Shauna gets high off beauty and sugar. I’m both in one package. She’ll wait,” Tina defends.

  Whether or not that’s true remains to be seen, but right now I’m the one struggling with waiting. And Griff is getting extra twitchy. I can tell he wants to shift into his bear form, but I told him not to unless absolutely necessary.

  Trevor pokes his head through the side of the van and I jump. Tina hisses and swipes at him, her hand going through his face. “I found the contracts...but we have a problem with Shauna.”

  I sigh. “Of course we do.” Because why would anything ever go to plan?

  “She got distracted by the lights on stage,” Trevor explains. “I should’ve remembered, I’m sorry. Fae can be drawn to lights, kind of like bugs to a zapper.”

  “Oh great, thanks!” I say. “Is she completely high right now?”

  “No, it’s not like a sugar or a beauty high,” Trevor says. “Just more like they get mesmerized and…act kind of weird.”

  Tina jumps out of the van, and I give her a look. “What?” she asks. “I’m a spry eighty-year-old.” But she shakes out her arms and hunches over slightly. “Better?”

  “Much.” I turn to Tamika. “Go with Trevor and see if you can find those contracts. Tina and I will wrangle Shauna.” I get out, careful to shuffle a little. “Griff, give us five minutes then go in and get Cassie.”

  “White Tail…” he starts but I cut him off.

  “We’re going to take care of the contracts first. Then we’ll get her out.” I made a promise and I intend to keep it.

  We break at the door, the doorman holding it open for us politely. He even says ma’am in a way that makes me think we’re not the only eighty-year-old women that come to a supernatural strip club. I hold on to Tina’s arm as we shuffle inside. Once our eyes adjust to the dim interior, it’s not hard for us to find Shauna.

  She’s on stage, wings out, all five-foot-nothing of her, shaking her shit to the music. She pushes one of the strippers out of the way and jumps on the pole. Spinning, she flutters her wings and does an upside-down split.

  “That’s what Trevor meant by acting weird,” I say.

  “Damn, that girl has moves,” Tina grins. “Get it girl!”

  “Don’t encourage her.” I glance around but Hermes isn’t anywhere to be found. Cassie’s at the bar, though. She’ll be easy for Griff to spot. We head to the stage.

  “Shauna!” I whisper, which even I can’t hear over the booming music.

  “Shauna!” Tina yells and Shauna’s head jerks around. When she sees us she beams. “This place is great,” she says, dancing over to us. She drops to her stomach so her face is at our level. “Want a lap dance, baby?” she asks Tina.

  “Maybe later,” Tina says. “When we’re not in the middle of something.” She eyes me pointedly.

  “No fun!” Shauna says. She jumps down next to us.

  “Please, just stay on mission,” I beg.

  She rolls her eyes. “Fiiiine.” She saunters off. She turns back around and points finger guns at me. “I’ll get you those drugs, boss.”

  “That girl…” Tina says in a not completely exasperated way. I feel like maybe I should warn her, and give her some of the more pertinent details from Shauna’s file. Later, that is. We don’t have time for Tina’s love life right now. I tug her arm.

  Tina and I make our way to the side wall where Mac said Hermes keeps his office. The door is open slightly. I give Tina a glance, then push it open. It’s dark inside, but a light snaps on.

  Hermes sits in a chair, with Mac at his shoulder.

  “Girls...or er...ladies…” Hermes says. “Welcome.”

  “You son of a bitch. You betrayed us!” Tina shouts at Mac.

  He shrugs. “Gotta keep Big Baddy happy,” he says, leaning in and kissing Hermes. He gives me a look I can’t quite read.

  “As soon as Mac waltzed in I knew he was up to something,” Hermes tells us. “I’d heard he got picked up by that fascist force of harpies. Why would he be let out so soon?”

  “Can this go any more wrong?” I ask just as the door opens and Tamika is thrown inside by a big burly bouncer. “We found this one asking the employees where the contracts are kept,” he explains.

  “Is that what you’re up to?” Hermes asks. “On some do-gooder mission to free my poor imprisoned employees? That’s adorable, Mavis. It reminds me of when I used to visit you when you were the one locked up. ‘Go away,’ you’d say when I first walked in. Then I’d turn around and you’d call out, ‘Wait. No. Stay.’ It was almost like you didn’t know what you wanted.”

  He stares at me as my mouth goes dry. I can’t look away. I can’t speak. My heart is pounding in my ears—and he knows it. “My employees are the same way. Do they like the contract? No. But do they leave? Go work somewhere else? That’s also a no. I take care of them and they take care of me.” Hermes reaches a hand up toward Mac, stroking his arm. “Isn’t that right, Mac?”

  “You bet,” Mac purrs.

  “I think I really underestimated what a scumbag you were back at Mount Olympus Academy,” Tina says to Hermes, while shooting me a hard look that clearly communicates ‘get it together!’

  Somehow I manage a deep breath in and then out again. The spots that had been dancing in front of my eyes dissolve.

  Hermes holds up a hand. “I cannot focus when you two look like that. You’re both attractive young ladies. Please drop whatever glamour you have going on. I’d rather talk to you when you look like your sexy selves.”

  “Did you just sexually harass your own daughter?” Tina asks.

  “Gods are disgusting,” Tamika says. She waves her hands and Tina looks normal. Pissed, but normal. I assume she made me look my age again as well. “I got some info on the contracts,” she whispers. “We were right, the only person who can void them is Hermes.”

  “Shit,” Tina hisses.

  “Trevor…?”

  Tamika shakes her head. He must have run. That little weasel.

  “Now, daughter dearest. Why didn’t you just come to me with what you need? I’ve always wanted to be a proper daddy to you…”

  I feel the bile rise in my throat, but I can’t let him get the better of me again. “We want Cassie. We also want to know what the hell went on here with Val and Edie. I want...I need to know what happened to my sister.”

  Hermes smirks. “Now that wasn’t so hard, was it? Asking your daddy for a favor.” He leans forward. “I’m afraid I can’t tell you anything. And Cassie quite enjoys it here. Perhaps you would like to join her.”

  “I don’t want to spend my life drugged and ignorant,” I tell him.

  He laughs. “Mac tells me that you already spend your life drugged.” Mac has the good sense to look guilty. “And you’re extremely ignorant. You don’t know anything.”

  “Where is Val?” Tina demands.

  Hermes focuses on her. “You are a bad influence on my daughter. I think I’ll have you killed first. Mac…”

  He looks up at Mac, who places a hand lovingly on his shoulder. “Yeah, Big Daddy?”

  “Seduce and then shiv first the vamp and then the witch. I’ll take care of my daughter.”

  Before Mac can move there’s a deafening roar from the club. The door opens and Shauna pushes her way in. “Guys, I couldn’t find the drugs. Also Griff has gone bear shit bananas out there.” She hikes her thumb to motion behind her.

  “Who else did you bring with you?” Hermes asks.

  “Me!” Trevor appears at Hermes' side, and shouts, “Boo!” It’s dumb, but Hermes starts. Mac grabs a letter opener from his desk, and stabs it into his upper arm. From the club at least twenty people cry out and Mac grabs at his own arm as well.

  But he got what he wanted. Hermes blood is on the blade. Mac throws it to Tamika, who wastes no time rubbing it onto her arm, drawing something there.

  “Oh, you’re in trouble now,” Shauna squeals.

  Tamika throws herself on th
e ground, balling herself into the fetal position. Hermes follows suit, yelling in protest the whole time.

  “Mac, you beautiful bastard,” Tina says. “I knew you’d come through.”

  “Hey, I did the hard part,” Trevor says, his arms crossed. “I never get the credit I deserve.”

  “Great...job...everyone,” I say. “But we’re not even close to done here.”

  Tina puts a hand on my shoulder. “You and Mac should step out for a second. Deal with Griff. Get Cassie safe.”

  “No.” I straighten up. “Mac, you go and get all the employees out of here. However far away they need to be for them to be free from whatever we do to Hermes.” I march over to Hermes, who is curled in a ball on the floor.

  “Ready to talk, daddy dearest?”

  16

  I tell Trevor to check on Griff and Cassie. He nods and moves through the wall out to the stage area, where we can still hear some muffled cries of injured employees, their arms no doubt bleeding from Hermes’ wound. The god, meanwhile, is still down in the fetal position, his eyes burning in Tamika’s direction.

  “I swear, you little witch—” he says.

  “Enough,” I say, forcibly reminding myself not to kick him. I can’t hurt the employees, no matter how badly I want to hurt their boss. “We came here for answers.”

  “You haven’t even asked me a question,” Hermes says, looking up at me with fake tears in his eyes. “Is this any way to treat your father?”

  One of the bouncers who came in with Tamika makes a hesitant move towards her, but she catches the motion, and crawls in my direction. Hermes follows suit, ending up face down in front of my feet.

  From her corner, Tamika extends her tongue, lapping at the air like a cat drinking up milk. But Hermes doesn’t have a bowl of milk in front of him. He just has my shoes.

  “Ugh,” he groans, and I’m more than mildly disgusted myself as his tongue slides over the soles, licking up dirt, and whatever else got stuck on them from the less-than-hygienic strip club floor. “Make it stop!”

  “Alright,” I say, holding up a hand. Tamika stops licking the air, watching me for her next move. I bend down next to Hermes, whispering into his ear.