Squad Goals

by Kate Karyus Quinn

  “Yep,” I say. “Success.”

  Except it smells like smoke and singed hair.

  18

  Back at the cabin, it takes all of us to haul Griff inside. We dump him on the king-sized bed in the master bedroom, then go back to the van to get Cassie.

  “Is the van...glowing?” Tamika asks.

  The logo on the side is brighter, more vibrant, and the door opens automatically. “What’s happening?” I ask.

  “I don’t think I’m high...but I could be wrong,” Shauna says.

  “I’m definitely high,” Cassie says between sniffles. “But I might be coming down.” She falls out of the van onto the ground.

  “Shit! Cassie!” I rush forward. “Let’s get her in the cabin.” Tina and Shauna reach down and pick her up, carrying her inside. “Make sure she has water,” I yell after them.

  “I’m not a babysitter,” Tina mumbles.

  I’ll check on Cassie in a second, but first, I approach the van. It flashes its lights at me.

  “What the…?”

  Tamika appears at my side. “I think these are the repercussions of my spell and us driving the van through the portal.” She reaches out to touch the door handle but the horn honks and she drops her arm. “I think the van is sentient.”

  “No freaking way.” I lean in. “Hi, um, Van. Can you...um...hear me?” I feel like an idiot talking to a vehicle, but the van flashes its lights. “Holy shit.” I reach out and touch the hood, and I get another flash of lights. “I think it likes me…” I start to say before there’s a terrible honking.

  “What did I do…?”

  But it wasn’t me who upset the man. It was trying to warn me. A prick of pain on my shoulder and suddenly I can’t move. “Tamika,” I growl between clenched teeth. She reaches out her arm, puppeting me to do the same.

  “Now, I’m going to touch your bracelet to my collar,” she whispers, her breath hot in my ear. “And you’re going to take it off me. Then you’re going to stomp on it until it’s totally and completely destroyed. If you don’t, I will make you do horrible things to your friends in there.” Her eyes flick to the cabin.

  “Yes. Okay, fine,” I say.

  Just then, the van opens its door, slapping Tamika. In the moment of release, I grab Mr. Freeze and shoot her. She screeches and drops to the ground, her eyes rolling back in her head. I rush to her and wipe the blood from her arm, then grab the stiletto knife she’d stabbed me with.

  “Everything good here?” Tina asks from behind me. I turn to look at her. Shauna, in her pixie form, perches on Tina’s shoulder.

  “Let’s see, the van is alive. Tamika just tried to escape. Cassie is on drugs. Griff wants to kill me. The mission failed.” I look Tina in the eyes. “Everything is very much NOT good.”

  Tina holds up her hands, “Okay, Mavis. Okay.” She walks forward and Shauna flits off her shoulder, going back to her regular size. Tina takes the stun gun from my hand and puts it back in my holster. “We’ve all had a long day. Let’s regroup tomorrow.”

  I nod, and fumble with my bra, taking out the pills. I throw one in my mouth. I add another one for good measure. I start to feel better, more in control. I’m about to pop a third when Tina stops me.

  “I think that’s about enough,” Tina says. Shauna reaches out and plucks the pill from my hand, popping it in her mouth.

  “What?” she asks, her pink pigtails bobbing. “Why waste good drugs?”

  Drugs. “Cassie,” I say.

  “Trevor’s watching her. When she starts going through withdrawal, he’ll let me know. We’ll keep her alive and safe,” she says.

  “Greg should know. I’ll call him,” I say. I’m getting back to myself.

  “Oh that’s a great idea. Call Cassie’s boyfriend. I’m sure he’ll be so happy to hear from you after you incited a riot so you could help several of his worst prisoners escape. I’m sure he would never use any of the information you give him to help the harpies hunt us down and put every single one of us behind bars. Forever.” Tina’s voice fairly drips with sarcasm.

  I don’t have it in me to fight Tina right now, and to be honest, I wasn’t all that keen on having a chat with Greg, what with the whole rioting and escaping thing. “Fine,” I say. “I won’t call him.”

  “What should we do with her?” Shauna asks, giving Tamika a little kick. She groans and Shauna gives her another kick.

  “It was my fault. I forgot to turn everyone’s collars back on.” I reach down, rub my wrist, and turn everyone’s collar back on.

  “Oh man,” Shauna says. She looks down at Tamika. “Why did you have to ruin it for everyone?!” She puncuates every word with a kick to Tamika’s torso.

  “That’s enough, she’s just a normal person again,” I tell them.

  “Yeah, a normal person who likes to stab people,” Tina says.

  “Fair point.”

  “Creepy Human’s First prepper guy has a cage in the basement,” Shauna offers.

  “Of course he does.” I shake my head.

  She nods. “It’s def big enough for a person. It’s prob for capturing shifters.” Shauna shrugs. “I think he might actually be a serial killer.”

  “Okay, let’s get the witch into the cage.” I pause. How is this my life?

  Mac appears from the cabin doorway. “What’s going on?”

  “Don’t ask,” Tina tells him. “Just grab her feet and help us lug her downstairs.”

  Alone outside, I let myself gulp in big breathes of air. But I’m not alone. I place a hand on the van. “Thank you for helping me,” I tell it.

  It flashes its lights. “Sorry about the portal stuff. I didn’t realize...I mean, I guess I shouldn’t apologize for your existence.” I rest my head on the cool metal door. “Thank you again, Van.”

  I give the vehicle one last pat, then head to the side of the cabin. I’ve got murderers, drug addicts, and sexed up supes to deal with in there. And I still haven’t found Edie.

  19

  “You shit-sucking virgin! I’ll tear your eyes out and make you choke on them.”

  Tamika’s threats from the cage in the basement can be heard throughout the cabin, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

  Griff has gone on about twenty runs since yesterday afternoon, sometimes with clothes on, sometimes off. It’s hard not to stare, but the truth is that I could look all I want and he wouldn’t even notice. He’s pretending like I don’t exist. The only reason he comes back and doesn’t disappear into the woods is the collar around his neck.

  While I should be glad that he’s not following through on this threat to kill me, being ignored is almost worse. He probably figures I’ve got enough of an earful with the bodily harm promises that Tamika keeps making.

  Tina found some noise-cancelling earmuffs that Donnie must have used for the firing range, and they help a little. But somehow Tamika’s voice is actually louder than a gunshot.

  “Ugh,” I moan, tearing my earmuffs off. “I can’t wear these anymore, and I don’t think they actually help.”

  “What?” Tina yells, her own voice unnaturally loud. I motion for her to take her muffs off too. She considers me from the opposite bed. We decided to room together and keep an eye on Cassie while she detoxes...which has not been pretty, or fast.

  The seer lies on a pallet in the corner. We couldn’t even put her on a bed because she kept thrashing and falling off. We were worried she’d get hurt, and I was totally against restraining her, which Mac suggested with more than a little gleam in his eye. I’d instantly banned him from our bedroom—something I probably should have done sooner, anyway. Especially after Tina started taking her shirt off as soon as he walked in the room.

  “Your collar is on!” I yelled at him. “Did you find a way to override it?”

  “Not yet. This is just my natural charm,” Mac said, and Tina blushed furiously.

  In the corner, Cassie moans, her hands striking at something only she can see.

  “I swear
to the gods,” Tamika screams from the basement. “I’m going to make a collar for you, you bitch. See how you like it. Maybe a chastity belt! Oh, but you don’t need one of those, do you?”

  I quickly flip my headphones back over my ears. I definitely don’t feel like being taunted anymore about my virginity.

  “Hey guys,” Trevor appears next to Cassie’s huddled form. “How’s she doing?”

  Cassie had served as the protector and makeshift nurse for Zahara’s first clutch of children, which temporarily lived at Trevor’s family mansion in England. As usual, her kind and caring nature won her points. Even though they’d definitely been enemies at the time, Trevor certainly seems to be on her side now. He pats a ghostly hand on her shoulder.

  “There, there,” he says. “I’m sure this will all pass soon.”

  He looks at us for confirmation, but all Tina and I can do is shrug. I’ve never detoxed anyone before, from a magical drug or otherwise. I have no idea how long this will take, or what Cassie’s symptoms will be. So far she’s been shaking, moaning, and delirious.

  She raises her head at Trevor’s voice.

  “Cassie. Hey,” he says. “Remember me?”

  “Ugh,” Cassie says, and lets loose a stream of puke. It passes right through Trevor, but he still looks disgusted.

  “You are so lucky to be ethereal right now,” Tina says.

  “It still hurts my sensibilities,” Trevor insists, then disappears.

  Tina and I stare each other down for a second.

  “Rock, paper, scissors?” I ask.

  “Or,” Tina counters, “we could try fangs versus kitty claws. Wonder which of those would come out on top?”

  “Fine,” I eventually cave. “I’ll clean it up.

  I go downstairs to get some wet washrags and a bucket for Cassie to use if puking is going to continue to be a thing now.

  “Come down to the basement, shifter bitch!” Tamika’s voice is definitely louder on the first floor. “You can’t ignore me forever.”

  “No, but I bet Griff can,” I say under my breath. Too late, I spot him standing by the picture windows, looking out into the forest. True to my words, he doesn’t react. I don’t know if he heard me or not, and I’m going to try not to care. I’ve got detoxing-seer puke to clean up.

  Shauna pokes her head out of her first-floor bedroom as I’m headed back upstairs. “What’s the bucket for?”

  “Puke,” I say. She wrinkles her nose, pulls her head back inside and slams her door.

  I get Cassie cleaned up and show her the bucket. She nods like she knows it’s there, but I don’t think there’s any chance she’s going to be able to hit it. Her eyes roll back into her head even while I’m talking to her, and I think she might be about to go into a trance, but instead she falls asleep, light snores filling the air.

  “Well, it’s better than the puke-splodeing,” Tina sniffs.

  “Maybe, but some sort of psychic prediction might come in useful about now,” I say, as I collapse onto my bed.

  “Wait, I’ve got one,” Tina says, rolling her eyes back. She pulls her lips into a fish mouth and makes wavy motions with her fingers. “You’ll never succeed at anything and die a virgin.”

  I throw a pillow at her and she moves vampire-fast out of the way.

  “I’ve got enough shit to deal with,” I say, and am surprised when my mouth starts to pull down at the corners. Shit. I am not going to cry in front of Tina.

  “Um, you are not going to cry, are you?” she echoes my thoughts. “Because I am not equipped for that.”

  I feel tears starting to form in my eyes and Tina panics. “Okay, okay. You know what we need to do, Mavis? We need to come up with a plan. A big, awesome plan! Let’s do that, okay? Let’s come up with a plan.”

  She’s zipping around the room, randomly putting pillows back in place and tucking in corners on the beds, putting her attention anywhere other than my face. I take a deep breath, willing the tears not to fall.

  Tina throws open the window. “We need some green living things in this room. That will pick up your spirits.” Even as she talks vines begin winding their way into the room. They snake their way across an entire wall and leaves unfurl.

  I squint at them. “Is that poison oak?”

  “Yep,” Tina confirms proudly. “Definitely don’t rub up against it unless you want a nasty rash.”

  “Okay,” I sigh. Afraid of what other poisonous plants Tina might decorate our room with, I decide to go along with her. “All right, let’s make a plan.” But that’s as far as I get. Tina might be spoofing a seer, but her prediction rate is 100% accurate. I have failed at everything.

  “Yes!” Tina claps her hands together like I just said something amazing. “I think our next step is to find Dionysus.”

  “Find Dionysus?” I repeat. “But how? He’s a god. He could literally be anywhere in the human world or the magical one. And what do we do when we find him?”

  “Hey, I’m winging it here,” Tina snaps at me. “But look, you’re not crying!”

  I’m not. She’s right. Even if her methods are crap, Tina has got me distracted from being depressed, and now I’m thinking, not crying.

  “We’d need a seeking spell,” I say, wheels spinning. “And currently our only witch isn’t in an agreeable mood.”

  “No, but you do have a gun,” Tina says. “Give her another jolt of Mr. Freeze. Or, even better—use one of Donnie’s human guns. She can still cast a spell with a few holes in her.”

  “No,” I say firmly. “I’m not shooting Tamika.”

  “I’ll tear your spine out through your belly button!” comes a scream from the basement.

  “Really?” Tina asks. “Because I totally would’ve by now.”

  In the corner, Cassie moans and there’s a sploosh noise. But at least it sounds like she hit the bucket this time.

  “Assuming I can get her to agree to a seeking spell, what then?” I ask Tina. “We just go find Dionysus and politely ask him for Pandora’s Box?”

  Tina shrugs. “I don’t know. I mean, how concrete were your plans for busting everybody out of UWR? Wasn’t it mostly just run?”

  “It was slightly more complicated than that,” I say, digging my palms into my eyeballs. Little black dots swarm across my vision, and I reach into my bra for another of Themis’ little boost pills.

  Tina’s hand closes around my wrist. “Unh-uh,” she say. “No more of those for you.”

  “Excuse me!” I snap my hand out of her grip. “I need these.”

  “Yeah, and you’ll need detox too, just like Cassie, if you don’t get a handle on yourself.”

  “I’m fine,” I say, and pop three pills just to be a bitch. Instantly, I feel better. There’s a renewed strength, and a fire in my belly. I haven’t eaten much or slept well lately, but these pills really do the trick. Which...maybe that is something I should be worried about. But, to be honest, they’re exactly what I need right now.

  I can detox later. After I save my sister.

  “Alright.” I stand up, with renewed purpose. “Come with me down to the basement, and we’ll see if we have anything to offer that wretched witch that will make her do a seeking spell.”

  Tina hops to her feet. “That’s my girl! Can I please take a gun? Even just a human one?”

  “No,” I say. “But bring a knife.”

  Tamika sneers at me from inside her cage, but at least she’s stopped screaming. She runs her fingers back and forth across the bars, eyeing me.

  “Tamika,” I say. “What you did was a serious breach of trust.”

  “But not entirely unexpected,” Tina adds.

  “Breach of trust?” Tamika repeats, ignoring Tina. “What did you think was going to happen when you let the most violent offenders out of prison? We would all be loyal trained puppies?”

  “No,” I say calmly. “But I did let you out. That was good faith on my part. You broke that yesterday when you attacked me.”

  “Don’t be
such a baby,” Tamika says, using a whiny voice to get her point across. “I hardly hurt you.”

  “I’ve got six stitches in my shoulder!” I yell, losing my control.

  “And they’re very uneven,” Tina adds. “I did a terrible job.”

  “Six stitches?” Tamika rolls her eyes. “You realize I could have just killed you, right? I could have slit your throat, and left you to bleed out by that weird-ass self-aware van.”

  “But you didn’t,” I say, my curiosity piquing. “Why?”

  Tamika actually looks confused. “Because we’re on the same team.”

  “Do you always stab your teammates in the shoulder?” Tina asks.

  “I mean, usually, yes,” Tamika says. “No major organs, or whatever.” Her eyes go back over to me. “I didn’t actually hurt you.”

  She did. She definitely hurt me. The wound still burns, even under all the antibiotic cream Tina slathered on when we found Donnie’s supply of first-aid kits.

  But Tamika seems sincere, and from what I’ve read in her file, she might actually think what passed between us yesterday was some sort of test or rite of passage, not an attack on my life. She did what any prisoner would do—attempt an escape. And I stopped her.

  In a weird way, I think in her mind the incident might even be a sort of bonding moment. Like I should respect her for trying and she respects me for not letting her get away. It makes sense in a warped sort of way, especially since I know that Tamika grew up raised by a very rough coven of witches and warlocks. And it’s true—she could have killed me yesterday if she wanted to.

  “Alright,” I say, crossing my arms. “And what about all the nasty things you’ve been threatening to do to me since I put you in lockup?”

  She shrugs. “How else was I supposed to get you down here to talk?”

  “I don’t know,” Tina says. “Apologize? Take responsibility for your actions?”

  “I’m not sorry I stabbed Mavis,” Tamika waves her hand. “It was an honest attempt at escape. And I am taking responsibility for my actions. I never said I didn’t stab her, did I? And I liked it.”