Sex, Lies, and Cruising

by Cathryn Chapman

  “Oh, shit,” he said, looking upset, “I was totally going to offer to help you with that! I completely forgot.”

  “It’s okay,” I said, already feeling better knowing that he’d wanted to help.

  “I knocked this morning but you didn’t answer, so I figured you were asleep.” He paused and looked me over, taking in the sweat and my damp clothes and my bedraggled hair, and then said, “I’ve got to get the lab ready for some printing, but…” He grinned at me. “Wanna ditch those clothes and invite me in for a shower?”

  “Absolutely!” I said enthusiastically. The idea of getting clean and possibly getting in a shag was definitely in the top five best ideas I’d heard all year. As I shucked my sweat-soaked clothes, Cooper turned on the shower and heated it to the perfect temperature. By the time I joined him, his hair was already wet and slicked back, and he was waiting for me with Caitlin’s loofah and body wash. She usually didn’t let anyone else use her things, but I had a feeling that once I told her exactly what we’d been up to, she wouldn’t mind.

  Shagging in the shower is never easy at the best of times. Cruise ship showers have a little moulded shelf, just below knee height—perfect for getting yourself into just the right position during a vertical shag-fest. Unfortunately, cruise ship showers are tiny, and anyone who’s ever encountered soft, plastic shower curtains knows that they’re a bloody nightmare. They stick to you in all the wrong places even during a normal shower, and just at the moment, it was being a damned nuisance.

  I clung to Cooper like a limpet, trying to keep my balance; not exactly ideal, really, given that he kept slipping and banging his head against the wall. Showers are seriously not designed for having sex. Everything was too damn slippery.

  Not that it stopped us from trying. Cooper was getting into the spirit, and the passion more than made up for the awkward position I had ended up standing in. “Oh, Ellie-belly,” he murmured, “you’re so sexy. So confident.” He tangled one hand in my hair and slid the other along my side, down to my thigh. You just go for it in the shower. It just makes it so much better. Most girls are so self-conscious about being naked in bright light.”

  The compliment was nice, but… “Most girls?” I asked, trying not to sound jealous. Or paranoid.

  He looked embarrassed. “It’s been years since I’ve been with someone,” he said, “but I remember Amanda worrying about that. And, well, you know…” He smiled sheepishly. “And I kind of remember what it was like before I met Amanda. It was a long time ago…”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry,” I said. I didn’t want to take him down that road again, so I changed the subject, like a pro. “Um…there’s an 80s night in the crew bar tonight. Do you want to go?” I loved 80s music.

  “Sure.” he said. “I’ll come after I finish work. Might be a late one though.” He met my eyes and grinned. “Now, however, I need to do something about that mouth of yours. Too much talking, not enough moaning.”

  True to his word, very shortly I was unable to continue the conversation, and rightfully so. The rest of the shower passed in a blur of wet skin, hot water, and soft moans. After several minutes to recover, I slipped out of Cooper’s grasp. A few days earlier I’d slipped the cabin steward five dollars in exchange for extra towels; at the time I hadn’t been thinking about having one for Cooper—I just liked the luxury of wrapping one around my hair, and one around my body. Today, I tossed one fluffy white towel to Cooper and left my wet locks drip on the floor.

  Cooper came up behind me as I was drying my legs and kissed the back of my neck hungrily. His body was still damp, his skin soft—but the erection pressing against me was anything but soft. Lordy, I thought. Not that I was complaining, but he had a hell of a fast recharge. And then as his hands drifted down my body, I stopped thinking altogether.

  By the time I got to the Pic Stop that night, my legs were feeling kind of weak and shaky, but in the best way possible. Cooper had ended up being late for work; his phone went off every few minutes on the other side of the thin cabin wall. With a kiss and a promise to watch me at karaoke, he left me to recover before work.

  All night, I found myself smiling like a crazy person. Things were definitely going better than I’d expected. I was on an all-round high, and even the night’s few obnoxious passengers couldn’t dampen my spirits.

  The crew bar was pumping with neon-clad revellers when I arrived. Nick wasn’t there yet, as he was still doing the second show, but Caitlin and Gabriel were there, snogging in the corner for a change.

  When she came up for air, I took advantage of the moment to tap her on the shoulder. She spun around and laughed. Loudly. “How the fuck are ya, roomie?” she said. “Did you hear?”

  “Hear what?” Between stores and Cooper, I hadn’t heard a thing all day.

  “Maria’s fiancé left. Family emergency.”

  “No shit?” I was surprised. He’d been on board such a short time. “You don’t suppose he broke it off, do you?”

  “She’s not pretending to be nearly miserable enough for that.” Caitlin glanced over my shoulder. “Cooper coming?”

  “He’ll be here later…”

  Three drinks and several sweaty dances later, I was eyeing the crowd anxiously. Cooper hadn’t arrived yet. I couldn’t remember what time he said he’d finish work, but knew it had to be soon as nearly everyone else had already arrived. Even knowing that, though, I couldn’t keep my eyes from continually drifting towards the door. Where was he?

  “Dude, are you looking for Cooper?” Caitlin asked finally, noticing I was distracted. There was an odd look in her eyes—sadness, maybe. Or pity. Though I wasn’t sure why she’d be feeling either.

  “Mmmm, maybe,” I said, unable to lie. “He said he’d come up when he finished.”

  “We had a pirate shoot in the dining room tonight, Ellie. He’s probably still printing the photos,” she said sympathetically.

  An hour and a half later, I finally got tired of waiting. Caitlin had reassured me more than once that Cooper was bound to be by soon, but I was frustrated and suspected he wouldn’t be making an appearance that evening.

  Without saying goodbye to anyone, I disappeared out the door. Caitlin and Gabriel were having a fantastic evening, and I didn’t want to ruin it for them, but I couldn’t concentrate on having fun once I suspected Cooper wasn’t going to be around anytime soon.

  I went back to the photographers’ cabins and saw no one; I stopped off to change into my uniform and then headed up to the officers’ bar. No luck there, so I worked my way through the ship, from the Spring Fling in the passenger area to the 24-hour buffet to the crew mess, finally resorting to checking the laundry. Striking out everywhere I went, I crept into the nightclub, Diamonds in the Rough.

  I saw Cooper’s friend Mikhail, but didn’t see Cooper. I thought about asking him, but, feeling terribly cynical, figured that even if he knew he might not want to tell me. Instead, I walked around the club, my eyes moving from person to person without really taking anything in. Until my eyes came to rest on the back of someone’s head and I stopped short. I couldn’t see the man’s face, but there was something about him that had caught my eye. His hair curled over the back of his collar, and he was wearing a white shirt and grey trousers—the photography standard issue. He was deep in conversation with a girl with platinum blonde hair and a deep tan; careful not to make any sudden movements that might attract either of their attention, I slowly moved closer, and just as I got within earshot, he laughed and turned enough that I could see his profile.

  It was Cooper.

  I took a deep breath. What the hell was he doing here? And who the fuck was the girl? She reminded me of Jessica Simpson circa ‘Daisy Duke’.

  I walked up and tapped him on the shoulder. “Hi,” I said. I figured I’d start with simple, and go from there.

  Cooper’s eyes widened and the smile dropped right off his face for a moment before reappearing as a stiffer version. “Oh, hey, Ellie,” he said casually, apparently
oblivious to my mood. “This is Cassie. She’s cruising with us this week from Portland, Oregon.” Cool as a cucumber.

  “Hi. Nice to meet you,” I said, without looking at her. “Cooper, can I talk to you for a minute?”

  I dragged him over to stand under a towering plant in the corner.

  “Ellie, before you start,” he said before I opened my mouth, “she’s just a friend. We got talking earlier tonight, and she mentioned that her grandfather died just before she came here.” He turned those sad puppy-dog eyes on me; my instincts told me to cuddle and comfort, anything to take the look off his face, but I resisted. When I didn’t say anything, he added, “I know a bit about grief and loss, you know. I just thought she could use the support of someone who understands what she’s going through.”

  “Uh huh. Right,” was all I could manage. I glanced back at Cassie; she was the happiest-looking person-in-mourning I’d ever seen.

  I felt like that insecure moron again, second-guessing every move and every word, and I hated that I was doing it. I hated this woman I seemed to be becoming; I didn’t want to be jealous or overreact or suspicious, but… It was just that he’d said he was going to come to the crew bar after work to spend time together. I was his girlfriend. And I just thought it was a little weird that he was here instead. If he’d really wanted to talk to Cassie, surely he could have snuck her into the crew bar and talked there.

  Cooper interrupted my thoughts, saying, “Look, can I just finish my conversation with her?” His tone was half pleading and half frustrated. “She is pretty upset, and I don’t want to leave mid-discussion.”

  I looked at Cassie again. She was studying her manicure. Yeah, she really looked upset. “Sure,” I said flatly. “Carry on.” Words escaped me, and despite my attempt to tell myself that it was fine, that I was overreacting, that I was just jealous, I could feel the anger bubbling up inside. It just…didn’t feel right.

  Cooper left without saying anything and returned to Cassie, who greeted him with a smile. He bent his head close to her and I heard him apologising. She flicked her hair, clearly unperturbed. And clearly not upset.

  I stood still for a few minutes, gathering my fractured thoughts and trying to calm down. As I headed for the door, Mikhail started after me and caught my arm.

  “Hey, Ellie, are you okay?” he asked. “You look upset.”

  “Apparently I’m the only one,” I muttered.

  Mikhail’s eyes flicked past me and then came back to rest on my face. “If you’re upset about Cooper,” he said gently, “you really have nothing to worry about. He adores you. He wouldn’t do anything to jeopardise that.”

  I hadn’t realised Mikhail knew about us, and I felt better about telling Caitlin and Jock.

  I looked at the floor. “He said her grandfather just died,” I said to my shoe. “That he’s just trying to comfort her.”

  Mikhail smiled. “He mentioned that,” he said. “He’s a good guy, you know? Always trying to help others.”

  I mentally chastised myself. Of course he was trying to help Cassie. He was a lovely, genuine guy, just as Mikhail had reminded me. Whatever Cassie’s motivations were, it didn’t matter; Cooper wouldn’t let anything happen, no matter what she wanted.

  Feeling slightly more cheerful than when I’d arrived at the club, I thanked Mikhail for his concern and left. I stood in the hall for a while, debating the merits of going back to the crew bar and trying to get some time to discuss things with Caitlin versus going back to the cabin and trying to get some sleep. The latter won. We’d had so many late nights that I was starting to feel a bit like a zombie.

  When I got back to my cabin, Jock was waiting outside, which was a first, not to mention a nice surprise.

  “Hey!” I said, pleased to see him. By the way his face lit up when I arrived, he was clearly happy to see me too. “How are you? Come on in.”

  He followed me into the cabin and took a seat on the desk. I flicked the kettle on and curled up on my bed.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, his eyes dark and serious.

  “Oh, not much. Just me and Cooper,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “You know we’re together now, and things have been going really well, but…”

  “But what? You can tell me, lass,” Jock said. The kettle flicked off, and before I could move he’d already pulled out the mugs and teabags and was pouring the water. As he handed me a cup of tea, he said, “We’re mates, right?”

  I wrapped my hands around the mug and stared down at the steam curling up from the liquid. “I found him up in the disco, chatting to some blonde girl I’ve never seen before,” I said, finally feeling the anger rising again. “He had this completely reasonable explanation—her grandfather just died, and what with his fiancée he knows what it’s like to lose someone you love, so he was trying to give her some support. It’s just…”

  “Just what, lass?” he asked kindly. “There’s surely something bothering you.” “

  I hesitated. Jock was always so warm and friendly; he was supportive, and non-judgemental, and aside from when I managed to make him shut down and his voice go flat, he was always the perfect person to talk to about anything. My parents would have loved him; he ticked just about every box on the ‘perfect boyfriend’ list. If he’d ever shown the slightest bit of romantic interest in me… Well. That was neither here nor there, and anyway, I was with Cooper. Hence this conversation.

  I looked up at Jock, who was still watching me, and then let loose all of my worries and fears and jealousies. I talked and talked and talked, and it was only when I happened to glance up mid-sentence that I realised that despite his best efforts, Jock’s eyes had glazed over.

  “Oops,” I said, abruptly ending the story about Cooper and Cassie. “I’m boring you.”

  “It’s not that,” he said. He was silent for a moment, clearly having some kind of internal battle, and finally he blurted out, “Ellie, I’m sorry, but this guy is a complete twat.” I stared at him, completely taken aback. “He’s a fraud, too,” Jock continued, an angry look I’d never seen before on his face. “All that bullshit about the police and his dead fiancée? Christ, Ellie, he’s just spinning you a line. Men do it all the time. Why the fuck are you putting up with him?” He took a deep breath and then added, more calmly, “You deserve better.”

  I stared at him in shock, completely at a loss for words. This wasn’t the Jock I knew.

  “You should never let a man treat you the way Cooper’s been treating you,” he said suddenly, and a whole series of emotions crossed his face and then disappeared again, leaving behind a completely unreadable expression and stony eyes. “Just finish with him, lass. Do yourself a favour.”

  And with that, he stood up and walked out of the cabin.

  Still shocked, I just stood there, silently, trying to work out what had just happened. I had a feeling that there’d been a whole bunch of other things going on besides the Cooper thing, but at the moment I couldn’t deal with trying to work them out. Instead, I bolted to my feet and out the door, intending to chase Jock down and—I don’t know, demand an explanation or try to work things out. Something. Anything.

  I didn’t get very far. I’d just got out my door when I saw something that stopped me in my tracks: Maria. The fact that she was with someone who wasn’t her boyfriend wasn’t a surprise; Luiz might have left unexpectedly, but we were all accustomed to seeing her draped around a new man every night. No, the problem was that the man she was currently snuggled up against was someone I knew—and someone who was already well and truly spoken for.

  It was Gabriel.

  Chapter Seventeen

  There’s no easy way to tell your best friend that their boyfriend is a lying, cheating arsehole. If that wasn’t bad enough, the other woman was the Brazilian Bitch; revealing that bit of bad news was going to be almost impossible. Like almost everyone else on board, Caitlin hated Maria. And I knew that she thought Gabriel might be The One. I was worried the news might destroy her.
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  Rather selfishly, I was also worried that Caitlin might take out her anger and hurt on me. No one likes to hear their significant other is cheating, and sometimes it’s easier to turn against the bearer of bad news than actually confront the cheater. And I hated to think that me telling Caitlin about Maria and Gabriel might permanently damage our friendship. Although Caitlin and Gabriel’s laissez-faire attitude towards love and commitment might convince almost everyone else that something like this wouldn’t bother her, I knew she’d be crushed. She was all loved up and excited because he had just told her he wanted to get serious. I was guessing that his idea of serious and Caitlin’s idea of serious weren’t quite the same.

  But I was willing to take the risk, because Caitlin deserved better. I waited until she got back to the cabin and we were alone. I closed the door quietly and leant against it, watching as she stomped around the cabin.

  “For fuck’s sake, roomie,” she said, stripping off her clothes and tossing them to the floor, “he just disappeared. We made all these plans and everything for tonight.”

  “Caity,” I said, before she could say anything else. I stared at the floor. “I know where Gabriel is.”

  “Great!” she said, her voice muffled by the pyjama top she’d just dropped over her head. “Where is he?” she asked. Her head popped through the t-shirt and she caught sight of my expression. “What is it, Ellie?”

  “He’s with Maria.” The words rushed out of my mouth like a gust of wind and I flinched, anticipating her reaction.

  “He’s fucking what?” she yelped. “You have to be fucking kidding me.” She stood there for a minute, looking absolutely furious, and then abruptly deflated and flopped down in the desk chair. “Of course he is,” she said drearily. “Everyone ends up with Maria sooner or later. She’s like fucking catnip for men.”

  “Do you want to go over there and confront them?” I asked. Personally, I didn’t, since avoiding Maria was at the top of my list of priorities, but as Caitlin’s best friend it was my job to back her up.