The Duke's Divorce (The Reluctant Grooms Series Volume IV)

by Anne Gallagher

  “Yes, you did. You have treated me as if I am an unwanted guest in my own home. Edwards has shown more care and concern for me than you have, my lord. I fully expected you to remain with me when I spoke to Mr. Kennedy on the day after the attack, but you left me alone to answer his questions and relive that hideous night. I needed you, Robert. I needed your strength and your comfort and you deserted me.”

  Robert heard the catch in her voice. “Oh, Fiona. How can I ever make it up to you? Please, you must tell me. I will do anything.”

  “I do not know,” she said looking off in the distance. “I do not know if there is anything you can do.” She shook off his hand and began to walk again.

  A quiet desperation overtook him as she walked away. He needed to say something. “Why do not we start over?” he called out.

  She stopped and turned. “Start over? Why? It is obvious to everyone but you we do not suit. Why do not you just admit defeat and we will end this marriage according to the original agreement.”

  He walked toward her and took up her hands. “Fiona, sometimes I have found in working through a problem I miss something fundamental I did not see in the beginning. Subsequently, what I have learned from all this is that I would miss you very much if you left.” He took a step closer to her. “Please, Fiona, let us start anew. I will show you how earnest I am and then some.” He leaned down and kissed her gently. He broke away and looked into her eyes. “If we cannot seem to come to an amiable accord, I will release you after our ball. What say you? Will you give this foolish repentant Englishman one more chance?”

  She looked at him, her beautiful green eyes full of pain. “It seems I have no choice.”

  *****

  For the rest of the day, Fiona walked around in a daze. Robert sounded as if he were sincere, but his actions had always spoken louder than words. Her thoughts kept returning back to the week before he had gone to the Park. He’d been loving and sweet, made her laugh, made her feel as if she really were his wife, in all ways, save one. The most important one. And that begged the question, what was he waiting for? She was not so innocent to think he would actually love her before he made love to her. She was his wife. He needed an heir. Wasn’t that the only thing of importance to these men? Progeny. So why hadn’t he taken the step before he’d left for Cantin Park? She’d given him the opportunity and his excuse was absurd. So what was holding him back? Fiona was at a loss to understand it, therefore came up with the only conclusion she could. He did not wish to consummate the marriage and therefore, no matter what he said, the annulment would still stand.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Robert stood in the green salon with his cousin, Ellis, talking quietly in the corner. He had been the first of their guests to arrive.

  “So have you made up with your wife, Cousin? She does seem in better spirits than last evening.”

  Robert glanced at Fiona standing near the windows with his mother. “I have never known a woman more given to vicissitudes.”

  Ellis chortled. “All women are given to vicissitudes depending on what day of the month it is. And no doubt your vacillation has played a large part.”

  “Yes, I’m sure it has,” Robert admitted. “However, I have taken the necessary steps to alleviate my uncertainty from all future dealings with her. We had a long talk this morning and I told her how much I cared for her.”

  “And did she believe you?”

  “Unfortunately not. I’m afraid I have much to relearn when it comes to doing the pretty with women.”

  “It should not be so hard for you. You always had a way with them before.” Ellis took a sip from his glass.

  “Yes, but I was dealing with a select group I had no intention of keeping. Now, I find I am dealing with a wife, which truly is a different creature entirely.”

  “Yes,” Ellis said, smiling at Fiona. “They most certainly are.”

  The doorknocker banged and Robert took Fiona’s arm as they stood in the doorway to the salon to greet their guests.

  Robert admired Fiona’s comportment. She took the role of duchess tonight seriously and he could not fault her in any way. She welcomed his peers as if they were long lost relatives, with a familiarity he could never espouse. She complimented the wives and flattered the husbands and they greeted her with the same cordiality.

  During dinner, they did not discuss Robert’s legislation. That was to wait until the men had their port and cigars in the library, where William and Richard Gaines would take the floor. At the table, talk was an interesting mix of conversation. Although, not quite like the family dinners Robert took pleasure in with laughter and gaiety, there was a relaxed atmosphere that everyone seemed to enjoy.

  Cook outdid herself, and Edwards, always the professional, moved the dinner toward its eventual end. Fiona decided to have the coffee and dessert when the men joined them in the parlour after their meeting. An interesting concept, certainly one no one ever heard before, and Fiona insisted this was how it was to be done.

  The meeting in the library went well, although nothing was resolved, the last votes still being undecided, but Robert thought they would sway.

  When they joined the women in the parlour, the men were treated to a few songs from Penny, and a lovely musical interlude by Lady Montlake. Coffee and dessert proved delightful in the parlour, and Robert watched Fiona move among his guests asking if they were comfortable. He could not contain the pride he felt, and found her in a quiet moment.

  “You have outdone yourself tonight, my dear. Thank you for putting together such a wonderful evening.” Was that a blush creeping along her cheeks?

  “You are very welcome. However, we must not forget that Edwards has done all the work. I was merely the hostess.”

  “No, it is much more than that. You have made everyone feel at ease. This night was much more than I ever expected and I’m very proud of all the effort you put into it.” He kissed her hand. “Thank you.”

  “It was my pleasure.” She smiled. “It seems Lord and Lady Lumbley are ready to depart. It is time to say our good-byes.”

  Robert stood with Fiona in the foyer as their guests departed. William and Penny were the last to leave.

  “Thank you, Robby for all you have done this night.” William shook his cousin’s hand. “I’m sure it will be a great boon to the men who return from the fighting to know they will be cared for.”

  “Let us only hope the legislation passes.” Robert said. “‘Twould be a terrible thing if all this work was for naught.”

  “It will pass” William said with solemnity. “Richard made a sound argument, and I said my piece. But we shall soon see.”

  “Yes, we shall.” Robert bade his cousin and his wife good-night and locked the front door. Fiona had disappeared.

  He found her in the dining room, helping to clear away the last of the dishes.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Nothing,” she said. “I find I am still a bundle of nerves and cannot seem to settle.”

  “Well, would you like to join me in the library? I’m sure a glass of brandy will help calm you.”

  She followed him and sat in one of the chairs by the dying fire.

  Robert poured her a short balloon of amber, and leaned against the mantle.

  “How do you think it went?” she asked.

  “I believe it is too soon to tell. However, I am sure we have definitely given them something to think about.”

  “I took the liberty of engaging the wives to the cause. Lady Montlake was very concerned as her nephew is with the Fourth Regiment.”

  “That is very thoughtful of you.”

  “’Tis the least I can do.” She swirled the liquid in her glass and took a small sip. “When is the vote?”

  “I shall have the first of them on the morrow. The prospect it shall pass forthwith is too much to hope. I would imagine the last of the opponents will drag their feet up until the very last session for the year.”

  “And if it does not pass t
hen?”

  “Then we shall have to wait until next year. Unfortunately, with Prinny now seated as Regent and his proposed changes to Parliament, who knows what shall become of my legislation.”

  “I am sorry,” Fiona said. “I know how much this means to you.”

  “Yes, well. Is that not the English motto – live to fight another day?”

  Fiona finished her brandy and stood. “If you will excuse me. I think I should like to retire now. It has been a very long day.”

  Robert took her glass and put it on the sideboard. “I shall walk you up.”

  “No. Thank you. I desire to be alone right now. I have a lot to think about your discussion from this morning and your company would only prove distracting.”

  “I see. Well, then I wish you good-night, Fiona.”

  “Good-night, Robert.” And she left.

  Robert stayed by the fire until the embers turned to ash.

  *****

  Alone in her room, Fiona undressed and crawled between the covers. The dinner party had gone exceedingly well; high praise coming from her mother-in-law confirmed it. However, she still felt out of sorts. What should have been her big triumph was merely cold comfort that she had gotten through the night with no major faux pas attributed to her hand.

  This morning Robert had said he cared for her. Tonight he had shown her. Tonight he acted toward her the same as his contemporaries treated their wives with respect and affection. Smiling, flattering, touching her with a gentle possession that in no way could be denied. It proved only one thing, that in front of his peers they were a happy couple. She had no desire to know what he thought of her in private.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  For six days after the dinner party, Fiona’s life was quiet and uncomplicated. She walked with Merry in the morning, spent her afternoons in Lady Joanna’s company if she was about, and in the evenings stayed home. She declined all invitations leaving speculation with her absence. Robert escorted his mother, which left Fiona alone in the great house to do as she pleased, and most nights curled up in the library and read Shakespeare. Edwards hovered, ready for her beck and call, but she rarely ever called. Fiona did not give a particular reason why she secluded herself at Cantin House, only that she did not feel well. In truth, she had finally received her courses after nearly two months and found they laid her lower than ever before.

  She also found, with the weather turned warmer, she missed Peebleshire. The lambs were due, if not already there, and she yearned for the joyous wonder of each new birth. Her father had never thought of them as anything but chattel, but Fiona loved each and every creature. Her days would be spent in the fields with the dogs, tending to the flock, watching for the wolves. Each morning, moving the lambs closer to the great barn to be marked, and then put out in another pasture. Fiona longed for the open green earth, the smell of the wool, the sound of the little voices bleating for their mothers.

  Fighting her homesickness, sitting alone every night, her mind wandered far and wide, and one of the topics it landed upon was children. Penny had shared she might be enceinte, and Mrs. Gaines, nearly seven months along, glowed with such happiness Fiona wanted to weep every time she saw her.

  Fiona had never entertained the thought of having children. Living under her father’s roof, there was no need to contemplate the desire, but here in London, she was made increasingly aware that it was every woman’s fondest wish. Marry the man of your heart, produce an heir, and live the rest of your life in protected bliss. Fiona had no illusions it wasn’t that easy, however, there was something to be said for giving the man you love what he wants most in the world.

  Fiona wondered if she and Robert would ever find their way into the marriage bed. He doted on her excessively now, lavished her with jewels and trinkets, even went so far as to have a carriage made for her, a miniature version of the great Cantin barouche. Touched he thought so highly of her, yet there was still something disheartening about his manner. Yes, he praised her, yes, he flattered her, yes, he was so attentive to her she sometimes wished he would go back to Cantin Park as she couldn’t stand his oft overbearing consideration. Because she couldn’t help feel there was something missing from it.

  She couldn’t get past the idea he was only playing her in a fool’s game, that once he had her heart and soul, he would turn away from her again. He acted no differently than he had during the weeks after the incident at the dock, but Fiona couldn’t trust that his affection was real. In the past, whenever she got close to him, whenever she let her heart open, he crushed it. Perhaps this time her heart wouldn’t allow her to believe him, that it was protecting her from the devastating heartbreak that was sure to come. Inasmuch, if she admitted what she really felt, and he refused her, she would never get over it.

  She loved him. There was no denying it. Oh yes, sometimes she wanted to slap him for his supercilious attitude and nonsensical ideas, but even with all his faults, she loved him desperately. She wanted to be his wife in every way, bear his children, keep his house. And she knew her love was futile.

  The promised pain from another, greater rejection kept her silent. Overwhelming sadness bore down on her like a noose around her neck, trapping her in a half-life she couldn’t live, yet wouldn’t give up to the ghost. If she told him she loved him and he didn’t reply in kind, she would look the fool. And if she told him and he annulled the marriage anyway, she would be the fool.

  On Tuesday morning, attending Penny’s at-home, she found herself tucked away in a corner with Lady Olivia. The old woman had a fondness for her, and Fiona took great comfort in that. She’d never had a grandmother and Fiona found herself drawn to the woman’s wisdom and no nonsense approach to life. Used to having the duchess speak her mind, Fiona was barely bothered when the dowager asked if she and Robert had come to an understanding.

  “He has told me he cares for me,” Fiona replied glumly. “He does the pretty very well in front of his peers and even at home, but I cannot make myself believe him.”

  “Why not?” Lady Olivia demanded. “It is nigh on time. Listen to me. I have known that boy since he was in leading strings. He has never shown any great affection for another woman in his life, save one. And that chit was absolutely gormless to let him go. You, on the other hand, would be a bigger simpleton if you did. I can see how much you love him. You are dying inside every time you look at him, and he wears the same look. You two are wasting valuable time with this game of yours. Go to him. Go to him now and tell him you love him.”

  “I cannot,” Fiona said.

  “What are you afraid of? That he will not tell you in return.”

  Fiona couldn’t speak, only nodded.

  “He will tell you, of that I am certain, but he will not be the first, therefore, you must be the braver of the two. You will both be happier once it is out in the open.” Lady Olivia took up her hand and patted it.

  “What if he does not say it? What if…”

  “What if he does?” Lady Olivia rebutted. She took a sip of her tea. “You have changed, dearest, since Robert first brought you home. You are not the meek and mild creature he knew in Scotland. You do not bow and acquiesce to his every whim as you did with your father. You have found yourself and your place in Society as the Duchess of Cantin. You stand up for your own convictions even when they go against his. You have shown everyone, including him, you are strong and powerful in your own right. No one can take that away from you. You do not need him. Not the way a woman ought. And that scares him. Men, I’m afraid, do not know what to do with a woman who feels a man is not essential to their happiness. Therefore, it is a question of want. You must tell Robert how much you want him, then tell him how much you love him. And, unfortunately, you must be the first to declare your heart if you wish to stay in this marriage.”

  Fiona sat and drank in Lady Olivia’s words. Oh, to just believe them!

  “Do what I tell you to do and go home and tell Robert you love him. It will ease your mind and Joanna’s as
well. I should not tell you how much she longs for you to stay in the family.”

  Fiona knew Lady Joanna cared for her very much. It would break her heart if Robert annulled the marriage. Yes, she would have to be the braver of the two of them.

  But not yet. She would wait a little while longer. The thought of Robert’s rejection was still too fresh in her mind. She couldn’t take the chance. She would give it another week or two. Until their ball. She would know by then if what Robert felt for her was true.

  *****

  Robert noticed a change in Fiona as soon as she returned from her afternoon at Penny’s. The ennui that hung about her since the day after the dinner party was gone, and in its place an innocent coquettishness. She smiled, and laughed, and did not turn away from his advances. She seemed to like him again and he was exceedingly grateful to whoever had brought it about.

  That night she returned to the ballroom on his arm, and they danced, and talked among their friends. Fiona was gay and vibrant, and Robert was glad they had somehow found their footing again. They also resumed their nightly kiss in front of her bedroom door and he could barely wait for the night of the ball. He had decided that would be the night he shared her bed and told her how much he loved her.

  Eight days passed and Robert was gob-smacked that Lady Olivia’s advice had been right. Waiting for Fiona to fall in love with him had been the right course. He could see it in her eyes when she looked at him. He could also see the hunger. The night of their ball would be their destiny.

  Finding Fiona in the conservatory two days before the festivity, he asked, “How are the preparations coming along for the ball?” She did not seem as nervous or as fretful as she had been for the dinner party.