Summer Indiscretions

by Tamara Mataya

  Not exactly subtle or sane with my parents there.

  And that was hard too. Seeing the easy way they interact with Blake… They love him. It threw me off completely and made me feel like I should push him away when he approached me in the kitchen.

  We know the same stories. He knows all the punch lines to Dad’s weird jokes. I could be the reason Blake loses that. For all my determination not to cost him anything, there’s no guarantee we’ll work out. If Shawn hadn’t busted us, I don’t think I’d have told anyone yet. Blake makes me lose myself, and I like it. As far outside the realm of who I am as that is, it felt right when I saw him again. It felt good for everything else to burn away beneath laser-like certainty about something.

  But it’s scary too, and I tried to keep my cool by not reacting to him. Maybe I should have pushed him away. Part of me wanted to, but when he touched me…

  I can’t say no to him because not a single part of me wants to say no to him. My heart and body scream YES when his hands touch me.

  When his mouth touches mine.

  When he said he loves me and missed me.

  That’s not fair to him either—because when you love someone, you want the best for them. Right now, I’m not a complete person. I’m so conflicted I don’t know if I’m coming or going or who I’ll be when I figure this all out.

  What if I’m never going to be the person Blake needs?

  These are the thoughts that whir through my mind as we head to the station. My hand grows colder in his on the train to my place. I invited him over, but more and more I wonder if I should break things off until I get my head on right.

  But his hand strokes mine and his thigh bumps against me, and I can barely see straight for wanting Blake on me. In me. Chancing one glance makes it worse. His eyes simmer with dark promises I want him to pour over my body.

  His hand tightens around mine. “I know. But you can’t look at me like that when we’re in public.”

  “Like what?” I whisper.

  His lips brush against my earlobe. “Like if I’m not inside you in three seconds, you’re going to scream. It’s not fair to look at me that way when I can’t do anything about it.”

  “Do you want to know a secret?” I move so my lips are on his jaw, burning his flesh with need. “I’m not even a little bit sorry. You made me wet at Sunday dinner, Blake. I wanted you to take me to my old bedroom. Do you have any idea how goddamn inappropriate that is?”

  He turns his groan into a cough just a second too late, and I smile when people nearby glare at him.

  The whole train ride and walk to my place is foreplay. By the time we stumble out of the elevator, I’m lit up with hot need. It takes a few tries to unlock my door because my hands shake too much to get the key in the hole.

  I fling the door open, and a disgruntled meow rings out. “Hurry, get in!” I urge Blake.

  He laughs. “I mean, I’m all about being inside you, but—”

  I slap his chest and lock the door behind us before turning on the light. “That’s so not what I’m talking about. Meet my new roommate.” Blinking, I search for my fluffy companion, bending and crooning to him when I see him lying on the couch. “Come here, nice kitty.”

  Blake strides over and holds his hand out for Buddy to sniff. Apparently Buddy finds him acceptable, as he allows Blake to pet him. “Who’s this guy? Your mom said you got a cat, but I wasn’t sure I heard right.”

  “He’s Buddy, and the reason I extended my trip a few days. I had to make arrangements to drive back so he could come home with me.” I forgot that Blake hadn’t met Buddy. Then again, anytime anyone other than me showed up, Buddy made himself pretty scarce. He’s skittish around strangers, like the stray I should have realized he is.

  But he seems to like Blake, which is oddly pleasing.

  “He was hanging around Shelby’s place. I actually thought he was her cat, so I fed him. Turns out he’s a stray. No family.”

  “You’re such a softy.”

  “Shut up.”

  “Make me.”

  I bite my lip and take a couple steps toward the bedroom, glancing back at him over my shoulder. He rises and follows right away, and we reach my bedroom as one. His front heats my chest, but he doesn’t press against me like I want him to.

  I turn on the light to better see the look in his eyes. I’m going to suck him off and keep my gaze on his the whole time. If it’s anything like how it was on the train…

  He steps away and walks around the room, looking at the walls. “Wow, this is gorgeous.” He sniffs and frowns. “Did you just do this? Paint? It was years ago when we helped you move, but I don’t remember the walls being this bright.”

  I tap my fingernails together, a little annoyed that the paint job pulls his focus from the looming blow job. “No, Shelby did it as a welcome-home surprise.”

  “That was nice of her. Especially since you guys hadn’t even met and become friends yet.”

  I’d told him about Shelby—and how well we got along—on one of our calls. “Yeah, and she made the photo collage as well.”

  “Maybe we can add to it.” He grins. “It doesn’t really match the rest of your apartment. The new color.”

  He noticed that too. “No, it doesn’t,” I agree. The rest of the apartment is dingy little me. This one room Shelby changed is an oasis of vibrant freshness. It’s got personality. It shouldn’t make me feel sad, but it does. I’d never have painted in here, and I don’t know if it’s because of apathy or lack of imagination. Things need to change, and I can’t wait for Shelby to come back and transform my place and life one area at a time. I need to do it myself, yet I have no idea what else I’d do to change things up and make them different. I just know I’m not content with the way they are now. It’s easier to reinvent yourself when you’re a thousand miles from home and can start from scratch. Tweaking things that have always been a certain way, re-forming the grooves of your life is infinitely harder.

  Blake squints. “How did you feel about a stranger painting your room?”

  I smile. “It was a bit of a shock at first, but she cleared it with the landlord and I really like the color.”

  He nods. “It’s nice. It reminds me of—”

  “Shelby’s. Yeah, I know.” Annoyance pulls my face into a bitchy expression I can feel. Perfect, breezy Shelby. She didn’t do anything bad. She’s one of the most genuinely nice people I’ve met lately, and I can’t let my jealous issues turn her into a villain. “It’s almost exactly like the umbrella and blanket on her bed.”

  He frowns. “No, it reminds me of Marathon. I guess it’s close to Shelby’s stuff too, but my first thought was of Marathon. The walls are the same color as the tables in the cafeteria. Remember?”

  “Oh yeah. I guess they are.” I like that the shade reminds him of a memory with me instead of another woman’s house.

  “God, that day, Mel.” He strides over, pausing close enough that he bathes me in the warmth of his body. “I realized how much I’m into you. The way you were in the water. You were so fun and playful. So sexy.”

  Yeah right. “I wasn’t sexy. I had no makeup on, and my hair was a mess. I reeked like the ocean.”

  “You. Were. Sexy.” He tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. “You are sexy. Without even trying, you’re the sexiest fucking woman I’ve ever seen.”

  I want to be. I want so badly to be who he deserves. I want to be the woman I’ve been for the past couple weeks because she would make her own happy ending. I don’t want to be the woman who blows his life apart because she’s a coward and retreats back into who she used to be. “Take me,” I whisper. “Now.”

  He tugs my top over my head, leaving me standing in a pearl-gray bra and jeans. I shiver but don’t move. I need him to do this, need to feel how much he wants me.

  I have to see every ounce of desire in his eyes.
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  My jeans are next. They slide down my legs in a fluid movement, and while I haven’t shaved in a few days, it doesn’t matter when he trails his fingertips over my skin.

  My heart pounds in my chest. “How do you make me feel so beautiful?”

  His eyes almost turn angry. “Because you are.”

  Kneeling in front of me, he tugs my panties down as well. Then there’s just a bra.

  He reaches up to get the clasp open and eases it down my arms, dropping it once it’s free of my body.

  Naked. Standing in full light. Everything out in the open, everything visible in unforgiving 150-watt illumination, and yet he looks at me like he can’t believe this is happening. Like there’s nowhere else he’d rather be than in my personal space. Like I’m the most beautiful woman he’s seen.

  How is this even possible?

  His hands whisper down my belly and reach around to stroke my flank. They finally land on my butt as he brings his face between my legs. I tense, locking my knees and trying not to let them buckle.

  He wouldn’t be too mad if I just collapsed directly on his face, would he?

  The vibrations from his groans draw me closer to release, but it’s so soon, so fast, so goddamn good. I want this forever.

  Feeling this good forever…

  It’s not possible. Nothing this good lasts.

  Shut up, brain.

  There’s a reason they write ballads about men that seem this good. Because they’re myths.

  I grit my teeth. Blake’s as real as the tongue on my clit.

  And how long are you going to last in the real world once he realizes you’re not that relaxed, adventurous woman he met in Florida?

  Chapter 30

  Blake

  Her body is full of the wrong kind of tension. The ride over here got her out of the weird funk she was in, but it’s come back hard.

  I take my mouth away from her and stand, putting my hands on her shoulders. “What’s wrong?”

  She bites her lip and stares at the floor, shaking her head like she doesn’t know what to say.

  “Mel?” When she doesn’t clarify, I shrug and scoop her up in my arms.

  She squeals. “What are you doing?”

  I set her on the bed and flip her over onto her belly. “You’re tense. I don’t know why, but I’m pretty sure it’s because you’re overthinking something in that massive brain of yours. So I’m going to sit here beside you and give you a massage. That’s it. And when you feel better, we’ll reassess. But right now, no pressure.” I start on her shoulders, digging my thumbs in and holding them, doing a trigger-point release. “I’m great with my tongue, but even better with my hands.”

  She sighs and folds her arms under her head.

  “Lie there and work through your thoughts while I work through your tension.” Her spine relaxes bit by bit below my fingers. It’s not ideal, and I can’t go as deeply as I’d like without oil, but after a while her sighs become happy.

  It’s funny how we started in Florida with a massage.

  Maybe we didn’t. She’d already invited me back to Shelby’s, so I can’t imagine Mel only realized she was interested in me when I was massaging her body. Her arms are next, then her legs. By the time I reach her feet, she’s practically purring.

  “That feels so good.”

  I work back up her calves. “Think I should look into it as a career?”

  “That or male prostitution. I know four women at the office who would rent your hands by the hour for nefarious purposes.”

  I laugh and then notice her hips shifting, moving more languidly than before. Her ass cheeks clench ever so slightly in time with my touch. I dip my fingertips to her inner thighs and draw them up the silky skin. “I’ll do anything you want me to, Mel. For as long as you want me to.”

  She spins over onto her back. “Stand up. Take off your shirt.”

  I stand and pull it over my head. My pants are practically crushing my cock, but I’ll keep them on all night if it keeps that gleam in her eyes.

  She traces a line between her breasts, from her chest to her belly button.

  Well, maybe I won’t keep my pants on all night.

  I lick my lips. “Now what?”

  “Stroke yourself. Pants on.”

  I make a slight adjustment and rub my cock up and down through my pants, growing harder as I do so. The tip peeks over the top of the waistband.

  “Take them off.” Her voice trembles.

  So do my fingers when I drop the jeans to the floor.

  “You were commando at my parents’ house?” She sits up. “Such a naughty boy.”

  “Oh no, I’m wearing boxers. They’re invisible. Go ahead, feel them.”

  Her lips curl into a smirk. “Well, you should bring that invisible boxer–covered ass over here.”

  I move closer. She swings her feet off the bed and grabs the base of my shaft with a firm grip. “There’s no fabric at all. Liars get ten lashes.”

  A growl forms in my throat as her hot tongue circles the bottom with firm motions that turn my hands to fists.

  “I think your punishment is backfiring. I like it.” I like it too much. I’m going to come in her mouth if she keeps doing that, looking like that.

  She stops as abruptly as she started, shimmying back out of reach and staring at me expectantly. “Well?” She adjusts the pillow beneath her head.

  It takes a minute to pry my tongue from the roof of my mouth. “What do you want now, baby?”

  “Oh, we’re still playing Simon Says? Simon says get on the bed.”

  I ease onto the mattress by her calves, devouring her with my eyes.

  “Simon says suck my nipples.”

  A soft sigh escapes her lips when mine lock around her tight little bud and suckle. I move to the other nipple, swirling my tongue around it until it hardens in my mouth. Fuck me, that’s sexy.

  Her fingers wind through my hair. “Simon says kiss me.”

  I release her breast with one last suck and kiss my way up her chest and neck. I take my time over her chin and plant gentle kisses on each corner of her mouth. Her body gently writhes beneath me until she wraps her legs around my hips, encouraging me to put my weight on her.

  When I bring my lips to hers, it’s slowly, gently, a delicate kiss to draw her out even more. I want her to lose control. I want her to remember the way she felt in my arms in Florida, to remember how fucking wild she can be.

  “Simon says put this on.” She hands me a condom, and I obey.

  She sucks my tongue into her mouth and drags her teeth down it. Even more blood surges to my cock.

  She wants my tongue in her mouth? Very well.

  I kiss her with everything I’ve got, until I’m the one in control again. Her thighs squeeze me closer, and it’s not long before her wetness spreads over me.

  I pull back with a groan. “Fuck, Mel.”

  She nips my lip. “That sounds perfect. Right now. Fuck Mel.”

  I circle the tip of her nose with mine. “You forgot to say ‘Simon says.’”

  Her lips part, but I push the tip of my cock inside her, and she forgets what she was going to say.

  I pause. “Does this mean I win or lose?”

  “We both win.” She grabs my ass, and I let her pull me all the way inside, both of us sagging for a second and releasing identical moans. Being inside her feels like home.

  “You have no idea how fucking good you feel,” I say.

  Her one bark of laughter makes her pussy convulse around my cock. “I’m right here too. I know exactly how good this feels.”

  For a while, we speak only in silken thrusts and soft moans. Gasps are road maps to pleasing her. Shivers tell me when she really likes what I’m doing.

  I reposition her leg, pulling her knee out to plunge deeper
and hit that spot that gives her a languid grin and makes her teeth pinch her lower lip.

  Her tits shake with every thrust, and the beauty of her curves is mesmerizing. I go harder to watch the ripples move through her body. Lust for her crawls along the inside of my skin, clawing to get out.

  It shouldn’t be possible, but the more I have her, the more I want her. Being inside her doesn’t ease the aching need. It stokes the want, increases the frenzy, until I’m almost desperate for her to come, come again, and keep coming. I want her to unravel underneath me like I unravel when I’m inside her.

  I need to please her, to make her feel good. It’s the best kind of revenge, and it brings a smile to my lips just as her eyes widen and she gasps, rhythmically clenching me as she comes.

  I slow down, but I’m not stopping.

  Her hands squeeze mine when I raise them above her head and pin them to the mattress. “I felt how hard you just came, baby.”

  “You make me come so good.”

  “But I’m not stopping until you come again. See, feeling you come on my cock is addictive. It’s been too long. I need it again.” I thrust. “And again.” I grind to rub against her clit and she cries out. “And again.”

  “Fuck yes,” she says breathlessly.

  * * *

  Half an hour and some sexual gymnastics later, I collapse to the bed beside her, mission accomplished. When I cool off and my breathing slows down, I pull her close, nestling behind her. “I missed you. Let’s not go that long apart again.”

  She sighs happily and kisses my hand. “That was good. Are you thirsty?”

  “My throat’s a little dry.”

  She sits up. “Time for pants, I guess. Not to chase you out of here right after that, but I have to work in the morning.”