Troubled Waters (Oceans of Love Book 1)

by Nia Arthurs

  “I’m sorry, sir. I hear you, but what does this have to do with—?”

  He held up a hand. “Bear with me.”

  She nodded.

  “I eventually completed my education and earned scholarships to qualify for the position I hold now, but my observation skills have sharpened in that time. And do you know what I observed today, Ms. Banner?”

  “A shameful and unsavory event?” she asked, using his own words on him.

  “Your friend—Mr. Clayton, was it?”

  “That’s his name.”

  “There is a tan line on his finger where his wedding ring should be.”

  Kelly paled. “Sir…”

  “I’m not asking to know your business. I have no bearing in the choices that you make outside of this workplace and I generally would not mention it, but now that your personal life has collided with my territory, I feel that addressing the issue is acceptable. Do you agree?”

  “It’s not like I can say no.”

  “True.” He cleared his throat. “The moral and ethical consequences of your decision are not my concern. My concern is for you, Ms. Banner.” He leaned forward. “Do you know what you’re doing?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  He squirmed. “I’m not very good at this, but if you ever need someone to speak to, or if you need a group of strong farmers to rush to your defense in a crisis, I have people I can call.”

  She grinned. “Thank you, Errol.”

  “That will be all.”

  She nodded and left his office. Maybe her supervisor wasn’t the Grinch that she had painted him to be. Now, his arrogant airs and controlling personality were almost tolerable.

  She would never call him Errol the Grouch behind his back again.

  When Kelly walked down the hall, she felt a hand on her arm. The hand hauled her into the darkness and the face attached to the hand peered at her with worried, hazel eyes.

  “What did Errol say?” Rene whispered. “Are you fired?”

  “He won’t fire me because of what happened today,” Kelly said, her chest cooling with relief. “Do you think everyone will have mercy on me and pretend it never happened?”

  “They’ll definitely talk behind your back,” Rene said. “Thank God Clayton wasn’t wearing his ring or you’d be annihilated. From the outside looking in, his gesture was almost romantic.”

  “I guess I can’t ask for more than that.”

  “Probably not.” Rene glanced around. “I have to get back to my desk. Are you going to be okay?”

  “I’m not leaving my office until it’s time to head home, so I think I’ll survive.”

  “Alright.” Rene squeezed her hand and darted straight to the lobby.

  Kelly used the more clandestine method, sticking to the shadows and darting into corners when she saw her coworkers approaching. At last, she made it to her office and buried herself in work until her phone chimed that it was five o’clock.

  Without looking back, she sent a rushed wave toward Rene and shot straight out of the Yasser Center. As she stepped into the clean, Caribbean air, Kelly seriously considered hiding out at Rene’s place until Clayton got tired of waiting around for her.

  Unfortunately, Renesha’s bungalow would be the first place Clayton would look and she didn’t want her friends to be bombarded with his desperate attention because of her cowardice.

  “Just get yourself together and end it once and for all,” Kelly muttered to herself. Head high, she strode to the bus stop and boarded a vehicle heading toward her apartment.

  Clayton’s car, parked outside her building, drew her eye when she climbed off the bus. Kelly neared the lobby and glanced around, wondering if he had chosen to wait for her outside again.

  The foyer was empty. Had he let himself into her place? She really should change the locks.

  Kelly climbed up the stairs and took a deep breath before opening her door. Immediately, the scent of reino—a flavorful black soup and her favorite food—filled her nostrils. Candles were lit on the table in the kitchen and Clayton stood holding a chair.

  His brown eyes shone as he smiled at her. “You’re home.”

  “Hey,” she said hesitantly, slipping her purse on the floor. “What’s going on?”

  “I realized that I’ve been taking you for granted, Kel. I’ve only asked from you without thinking of how you feel and I regret that now.”

  The words were sweet and Kelly felt her resolve melting. This was the biggest attempt at apologizing that she had ever seen. Wasn’t this effort all she’d wanted in the first place?

  Kelly walked deeper into the room. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Don’t say anything,” he said. “Just read.” He pulled out a paper from his pocket and handed it over.

  “This… it’s a petition for divorce.”

  He strode closer to her and cupped her cheeks. “I want you. It’s over with Leshawna.” He pulled her jaw up to kiss her and, drowning in the surreal moment, she would have let him.

  Just before their lips touched, a frantic knocking sounded at the door. “Kelly!” Benjamin’s voice rang out. “Kel! Open up!”

  Her eyes popped open and she stepped back as if coming out of a dream. Her gaze flung to Clayton and the reality of what was about to happen set in. Panic swept through her chest. She could never let the two men meet.

  “Hide!” Kelly hissed, racing to the candles to blow out the flames.

  “Why? Are you ashamed of me?” He swaggered to the door. “Who is it?”

  “Shhh! Shut up, Clayton!”

  Instead of heeding her request, he threw the door open—puffing out his chest.

  Benjamin and Clayton stood face to face.

  Kelly nearly fainted.

  Why She Spreads

  For a moment, nobody moved. Kelly held her breath, waiting to see what Clayton and Benjamin would do. If Clayton claimed her as his woman in front of the C.E.O. she would die.

  Just drop to the floor and foam at the mouth.

  To her surprise, instead of beating his chest and acting territorial, Clayton smiled wide and welcomed Benjamin into the house with a laugh and a back slap.

  “Ben, it’s great to meet you again, man. This guy right here is a real soldier. I knew it from the moment we met. Did you decide on the apartment?”

  “I did,” Benjamin said stiffly, his eyes darting to Kelly. “I see I’m interrupting.”

  “We’re just working through some issues,” Clayton said. “Remember the girl I told you about? This is her.”

  “You’ve met?” Kelly screeched.

  “I stopped by your place when Ben was checking out the suite upstairs. My cousin introduced us and I helped to convince him of the apartment’s value. Now that I know you signed the lease, I have to get my commission from Kerry.”

  “I guess so.”

  Awkward silence pulsed in the room, sucking out all the air and stringing the atmosphere tight. Kelly and Benjamin refused to meet each other’s eyes, while Clayton seemed confused. His eyebrows turned downward and he looked between the cowering pair.

  “Have you two met?”

  “He’s my boss,” Kelly admitted.

  “Wow. What a small world. So you knew about me and Kel…”

  “I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” Benjamin said to her, ignoring Clayton’s dangling inquiry. “I heard what happened at the office, but it looks like everything’s in order. I’m sorry to disturb you.” He walked backward and blindly reached for the door.

  “Wait.” Kelly bounded forward and grabbed Benjamin’s hand. He flinched at the touch, but she held firm, refusing to release him. He was her tether to sanity, to self-control. If he walked out like that, she would lose her anchor. “Don’t go.”

  “What’s… going on here?” Clayton glared at the fingers snagged around Benjamin’s wrist. His forehead grew three distinct wrinkles and he rubbed his closely shaved chin. “Kelly, is there something you need to say to me?”

  With her
hand still on Benjamin’s, she pleaded with him. The cold expression he wore frightened her, but she fought through the uncertainty and insisted. “I can explain, Benjamin. Please don’t leave.”

  His face was turned away from hers, but he nodded. Only then did she let his hand go. It thumped against his leg and curled into a fist.

  Taking a deep breath, Kelly faced her ex. “Clayton, I meant what I said the last time. We’re over. I can’t do this anymore.”

  “But… I brought the divorce papers.” He shuffled the sheet in her face. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

  Kelly licked her lips. “Maybe it was, but things have changed now.”

  “What do you mean things have changed?” he bellowed. “For four years, you’ve been nagging and nagging me about proving that I love you. I finally did that and for what? You have something else to complain about?”

  Guilt seared her heart. It was true. She had bothered him to reveal his love. Why was she pushing him away when he had finally decided to pursue her fully? Why was she rejecting him when all the dreams she’d harbored over the course of their relationship were about to come true?

  She felt torn inside, battling the feelings that—for all her talk and bluster—still remained for a now-nearly-divorced man. Four years was a heck of a long time to throw away.

  Her gaze fluttered to Benjamin. He stood still, slightly turned toward the door. Only the profile of his handsome face was revealed to her in the shadows left by the lone, flickering candle.

  He had shown her a whole new world and now that she’d gotten a taste of it, she didn’t want to let it go. Not even for the memories she had with Clayton. A war raged in her soul, but instead of falling into old habits, Kelly wanted to strive for more.

  “Don’t call me again. Don’t show up at my office. I mean it, Clayton. We’re through.”

  He choked, his eyes bugging out of his face. She was sure that her resolve was the last thing he’d expected after going all out with the divorce papers and the candlelit dinner.

  “You don’t mean that.”

  She trained her gaze on the floor. “Please leave.”

  Instead, Clayton strode toward her and grabbed her shoulders, slightly shaking. “Come back to your senses, Kel. Do you think this guy wants you? Do you think he’s interested in anything but sex? At least I was honest with you. At least I was upfront about it.”

  “I think she’s made herself clear.” Benjamin stepped in. “You need to go.”

  “No, you shut up!” Clayton yelled so that spittle flew from his mouth. “You come in and steal another man’s girl? Right from under his nose? I thought you were down, man! I trusted you.”

  “This has nothing to do with him,” Kelly said.

  “Yeah? So why is he standing here looking at me like he wants to snap my neck? What? Did you give him a little brown sugar too? Did you call his name the way you called mine when I—”

  Benjamin’s hand moved, quick as lightning. He slammed Clayton with his fist. The other man went flying, his arms flailing out at his sides as he tried to keep himself from tumbling to the floor.

  “I’m starting to lose my temper,” Benjamin warned, his blue eyes flashing fire. “The lady’s made herself clear. What more do you want.”

  “Lady?” Clayton regained his balance and wiped the bit of blood dribbling from his lip. He sneered, his dark eyes moving from the stain on his fingers and falling on Kelly. “She’s damaged goods, bro. There’s nothing she won’t do and nobody she wouldn’t do it for—all they have to give her is a little attention and she spreads her legs like that.” He snapped his fingers.

  Benjamin growled and stomped toward the jerk, but Kelly slid in front of him and delivered a stinging slap to Clayton’s cheek. The sound reverberated against the wall and the force stung her hand, but she barely registered the pain.

  “You just confirmed that I’m making the right decision. Thank you.” She pointed to the door. “Now get out. Whatever you do with your wife and your family is no longer my concern. Goodbye, Clayton.”

  He passed her by, calling her a foul word as he went. Benjamin started forward, but she held out a hand to keep him back. Clayton’s pride had been dealt a severe blow. She would let him have the last word if it meant she never had to see him again.

  When the door slammed shut behind him, she swiveled and faced her boss. Shame bore down on her. Though Clayton’s analysis of her character had been exaggerated, there were grains of truth behind his statements.

  Her capacity to find and sleep with jerks was legendary. No matter what she tried, Kelly always seemed to land in the bed of a man who only wanted to use her for a good time and abandon her when the fun was over.

  Benjamin was the first man who had seen past her body to the woman within. She hated to see the disappointment in his eyes, hated to think that his impression of her had changed.

  “It didn’t start out like this,” she said quietly, her gaze low. “We met at a New Year’s Eve party. I didn’t know he was married until months later. By then, I thought I was in love.”

  “You don’t have to explain to me,” he said, but something in his voice convinced her that he wasn’t being altogether truthful.

  She glanced up, noting the way his jaw flexed and his arms clenched at his sides. “I broke up with him a hundred times, but I always took him back. This time was different. Really.”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Then why won’t you look at me?” she demanded.

  He turned his head, blue eyes flashing in the darkness. Shadows played over the chiseled contours of his jaw and cheeks. “You deserve so much more than that, Kelly. You deserve to be treated like a queen. You deserve to have a man who wants to claim you, who wants the world to know that you’re off-limits. And you can’t see it.”

  Tears rushed to her eyes. “What do you want me to say?”

  “I guess there’s nothing you can say.” He dipped his chin and swallowed. “Good night.”

  “Benjamin, don’t leave like this. Benjamin!”

  He ignored her pleas and walked out, his footsteps fading into silence. The closing door created a gust of wind that curled into the air and slashed the last candle standing. The room fell into complete darkness and Kelly Banner fell to the floor.

  The Arms of the Black Couch

  The darkness was unpleasant and the crushing pressure in her chest had to be unhealthy. Kelly would explode any minute. She was sure of it. At times like these, her only remedy was a solid turn at the club or a half-hour run at full speed.

  Instead of choosing from the first two options, however, Kelly decided to pursue a third.

  She picked herself off the floor and slapped on all the lights in the house. Stopping in front of her mirror, she wiped the leaking mascara from her cheeks and then moved the wet cloth all over her face until only her naked skin shone through.

  Satisfied, she strode purposefully to her front door, threw it open, and charged up the stairs. Curling her fingers into fists, she slammed her hands against Benjamin’s door and did not stop until it flung open.

  Her boss stood on the other side, dark hair limp and leaking fat water drops along his forehead and bare chest. Her eyes dipped down to the abs carved in his torso. The light bounced against his golden skin, marred only by a hint of coarse hair starting at his midriff and disappearing into his low-slung jogging shorts.

  Her pulse skyrocketed and her throat dried, making it hard to swallow much less think a coherent sentence. She’d come up here with the thought of defending herself and proving that she wasn’t the lost cause that Benjamin seemed to think she was.

  But an argument would require words.

  And words were hard to come by when she was staring at a half-naked Benjamin Levy.

  He, in turn, seemed stunned to see her standing there. Benjamin blinked, neither inviting her in nor making any moves to send her on her way.

  Kelly got a hold of herself first and squirmed into the space under his arm
, ducking her head so that she could successfully enter. He kept the door open and his gaze on her.

  “What are you doing?”

  She inhaled a breath of courage and spoke. “There was something I forgot to say downstairs.”

  “Kel—”

  “The reason I was determined to resist Clayton, the reason I was certain this time was different was because of… you.” She swallowed and threw the rest of her sentiments out in one big push. “Ever since we ran into each other, I felt this connection between us. I can’t get you out of my head and at first I thought it was just sexual chemistry, but the more I got to know you and the more time I spent around you, the more I realized that it was something else.”

  He stepped toward her and she licked her lips, keeping her eyes on a point over his shoulder to keep from being distracted by his nakedness.

  “I’ve never met someone who treated me the way you do. I didn’t have the standard of a good man to compare anyone to, but now I have that. It’s because of you. It’s all because of you. And whether or not this—we—go anywhere, I wanted you to know that.”

  Benjamin ran a hand through his hair. The strands flew up and then fell back into place, delightfully mussed. “You drive me crazy, woman. You know that? What did you ever see in that scum?”

  “Is that a rhetorical question?”

  “Don’t play smart.” She winced as he continued. “Can you imagine how I felt when I heard Clayton showed up at work of all places? I thought…”

  “What?” She stepped closer to him. “What did you think?”

  His jaw hardened and his eyes flickered to her lips before he straightened his shoulders and leveled his gaze at the door. “You should leave.”

  The air around them thickened. Kelly allowed her gaze to explore every contour of his large shoulders and defined chest. She couldn’t move, even if she wanted to. Something far stronger than common sense held her in place.

  “Kelly—”

  “I’m trying to go,” she said honestly. “After everything Clayton said about me… I know what it will look like if I stay, what it will mean…”