“I guess you’re asleep.” I whispered to her, hoping that she’d turn and pull me to her, but Kitty stayed still.
Hmm. There was something on the ground. I picked it up, realizing it was her phone. She must have fallen asleep with it and it dropped.
Goodnight, Kitty,” I said, quietly setting her phone on the nightstand before leaving to her sleep.
Instead of going to my own room, I headed to the study. Sleep felt miles away from me now.
John’s words still echoed in my mind as I poured a glass of scotch. The image of another man fucking Kitty still haunted me. I almost threw my glass against the wall.
Who was I? Anger had never possessed me like this before, but now it clung to me like a second skin.
The last of my scotch burned my throat in a soothing way and I poured myself another. I was not going to let anyone else have Kitty—especially not John.
I didn’t care if I was being a possessive motherfucker.
I didn’t care if the jealousy that raged inside of me meant that a dangerous line had been crossed.
Kitty was mine and mine alone.
No one else was going to get their hands on her.
She was mine.
Chapter Fifteen
Kitty
The door opened with a creak, pulling me out of the drowsiness that had almost taken me. Connor staggered into my room, crashing into the nightstand and almost making the small lamp fall.
“You’re so beautiful, Kitty.” His words were slightly slurred and the scent of hard alcohol hung on his breath.
“You’re drunk,” I whispered, my voice croaky from sleep.
Connor sat down on the bed next to me and shook his head. “I had a few drinks, but I’m sober, Kitty. Buzzed, but sober enough. See,” he said and threw the blankets off the bed before scooping me up in his arms. The cold air hit me as I clung to him, afraid of being dropped, but he held tight as he carried me out of my room.
“Where are we going?” I asked as Connor passed the red door to the play room and kicked open another further down the fall.
Connor didn’t answer, but he didn’t have to. Dark wood furniture, sleek in design, filled the room. The soft glow of a lamp on the nightstand illuminated the enormous bed in the middle, draped in silk sheets of the darkest blue. Even with it being my first time in here, I knew this was his bedroom.
“What are we doing?” I asked. The desire swimming in Connor’s eyes told me he wanted sex, but we’d never done anything outside of my room or the playroom. Why was he bringing me here now?
Any questions fled my mind when Connor tossed me onto the bed with a hungry growl. My body craved the alpha, no longer caring about sleep. My breaths were heavy with desire and my pussy already ached for him.
In one quick movement, Connor had his shirt off and thrown across the room. It landed with a soft thud on the lush carpet. The sight of his body, all hard muscles and that trail of hair that pointed at something even better, always filled me with heat, made me wet for him.
Connor stalked over to me on the bed and I gasped in delight when his strong hands ripped the lacey negligee that barely covered my skin. The bed dipped with Connor’s weight as he climbed above me, hands eagerly massaging my tits. His mouth tasted my skin, licking the curves of my breasts and moving up my neck with light, teasing kisses.
“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” Connor’s rough voice was barely more than a whisper.
I arched my back, hinting that his mouth would be better used sucking on my tits than talking, but instead he peppered my entire body with soft kisses. Down my neck, over my aching breasts, around my stomach, before giving me one hot kiss at my center and moving back up again. Everywhere he kissed sent tingles along my skin, electricity jolting my senses.
“You’re so perfect, Kitty,” he mumbled the words against my body. “Flawless. Your curves fit my hands perfectly. Did you know that?”
I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to respond or not, but it didn’t matter; his kisses were driving me insane. He ended his teasing and delightful caresses with a tantalizingly sweet kiss to my lips. Our tongues danced, mouths choreography to the slow beat of our hearts.
This kiss was different. It wasn’t a kiss from my alpha, hard and demanding that left our lips swollen, sharp nips that showed who was in control.
No, this was soft and savoring. Searching. As if Connor was trying to find my soul in our kiss.
He pulled back with a deep sigh and rested his forehead on mine. His piercing gaze burned into me. “You taste like sin wrapped in heaven, Kitty. Like a devil dressed as an angel with a mission to ruin me.”
What did he mean? I had no idea, but the thought of asking scared me. Connor was in a strange mood tonight.
Any questions disappeared into the shadows of the room when Connor slid lower, pressing a kiss to my core, stroking it softly with his tongue.
“Oh!” A moan slipped between my lips as he plunged two fingers into me, my pussy already wet and ready for him. “Oh, Connor!”
Shit. I didn’t call him master. But did the rules even matter right now? This didn’t feel like our usual fuck session. It felt like he was adoring me instead of dominating me. More like two people making love, despite that I had no prior experience with that.
When Connor’s tongue lapped me up with strong solid strokes, it didn’t matter what this was. His fingers pumped into me while his mouth went to work and I felt the pleasure rising in me.
God, I was so close. My legs almost shook as the heat built and coiled inside of me. My exposed breasts heaved as I cried out Connor’s name, my orgasm taking over.
I gripped the sheets, soft and silky compared to the strong grip of Connor’s hand on my hip. The feel of him holding me tight, pulling me to his greedy mouth as he ate my pussy had me falling over the edge even more. My orgasm peaked, taking over my body.
“Oh yes,” I whispered. “Fuck yes, Connor.”
He stared up at me, enjoying every drop and the way I watched him. His gaze seared my heart and I couldn’t keep my hands off of him even if the alpha didn’t like me touching him without permission. Screw that. He was mine tonight.
My fingers tangled in his hair and I pulled him up as the orgasm ebbed and faded away, after shocks coursing through my pussy. I grabbed Connor around the neck and drew him to me, crashing out mouths together, tasting myself on his lips and hungry for more.
“You taste so sweet, Kitty,” he said, licking his lips once.
Connor climbed off the bed and pulled something out of his nightstand. A pair of handcuffs glinted in the soft lamplight and the sight of them aroused me even more.
I sat on the bed, legs tucked under me, as he reached around and cuffed my hands behind my back. His gaze took in every inch of my exposed skin as he stepped back.
With a flick of his wrists, his pants slid off and he stood in front of me. His thick, hard cock sprung free, making my mouth water.
“Taste me, Kitty,” he commanded, the dom in him surfacing.
Eagerly, I leaned forward, taking his huge length in my mouth, licking and sucking on his cock. I kissed his balls, tasting my way up his shaft before sucking hard and flicking my tongue along the tip.
Connor let out a groan and I glanced up at him. “Mmm,” I moaned around his dick, letting the hum vibrate against him. Connor sucked in a sharp gasp and closed his eyes. “Do you like that?” I asked, knowing he did and not letting him have a chance to answer before doing it again. “Mmmmm.”
“You’re perfect, you know that?” he asked between groans as I licked my way up his shaft and tasted his salty desire at the tip. “You and that dirty mouth of yours,” he added.
I took him deep, until he hit the back of my throat, over and over again. I wanted to massage his balls too, but my bound hands didn’t let me. My pussy pulsed with desire, finding my own enjoyment in sucking his cock and hearing him moan because of me.
I licked my way down his dick, kissing him at the
base. His trimmed hair was in my face in a way I didn’t know could turn me one while I kissed and moaned against him there. My hands strained to reach his thick cock, wanting to pump him hard.
I kissed my way up to his hips, nipping lightly against his skin, until his dick settled between my exposed tits. I shifted up and down, stroking his cock with my breasts. He grunted and captured my pussy with his hand, stroking his finger against my clit. Biting my lip and moaning, I glanced up and squirmed against him, letting his dick fuck my tits.
Connor stared down at me, passion and something more burning in his eyes. I’d never seen him like that. Connor always had a commanding presence in the bedroom, and although he was still the alpha that knew just how to touch me, there was something different about him too.
This was a passion fueled by more than just lust.
When I brought my mouth back down to Connor’s cock, taking him deep, he growled and twisted a hand into my hair, guiding me to suck him faster.
Just when I thought he was close, Connor drew away.
“Oh,” I gasped at the sudden loss of him. But it was short lived. He laid me gently on the bed before entering me. His thick cock stretched me in the best possible way, like we fit together perfectly.
“Oh, Connor! Yes!” I moaned as he pushed and pulled himself out of me, a slow and teasing pace that was driving me mad with need. “Faster, baby, fuck me harder.”
But he still continued with the torturously slow speed.
“Connor,” I begged, my eyes meeting his.
He looked at me with his striking blue eyes. “What, Kitty? Tell me what you want, Kitty.”
“Fuck me harder, please,” I whispered, my eyes never leaving his, hoping that he would answer my quiet plea. “Fuck me faster, Connor. Like you always do.”
His rhythm changed, his control broken. He pumped into me hard and fast, rough in the best way. I screamed his name and moaned in pleasure at his relentless assault. We were a tangle of limbs, neither of us knowing where the other started or ended.
My pussy throbbed, clenching around his cock, as my orgasm took over. I arch under Connor, riding the waves of pleasure that he created.
“Oh yes, Connor,” I cried out. “Yes!”
“Come for me, baby,” he whispered in my ear, still pumping into me mercilessly.
The pleasure from my orgasm took over my body, tingling from head to toe, my pussy pulsing with the shockwaves. Connor plunged into me as his hot cum filled me. He groaned as I clenched my pussy, milking him for every drop as his pace started to slow.
Our breathes were heavy, mingling together as the after-bliss of our orgasms took over. Connor didn’t pull himself out of me immediately like he usually did. Instead, he gently rested on me, letting his weight press into my body in a way that was more comforting than painful.
I wanted to wrap my arms around him, to hug tight and cuddle with him.
But we weren’t a real couple. Connor and I had a contract. Even if I wanted to snuggle and fall asleep in his arms, it was clear in our contract that Connor didn’t want that. I wouldn’t fall asleep with my head on his chest, listening to the lullaby of his heartbeat. But I wasn’t his girlfriend, only his submissive.
Tears stung my eyes, but I held them back. God, what was wrong with me? We’d just had amazing sex and here I was trying not to ball my eyes out. Why did I have to have feelings for him? I couldn’t even keep our contract professional and it left me having one-sided feelings that Connor would never return.
He’d treated me kindly and my stupid heart wished it meant more than just a dom keeping his submissive happy.
I fell for a guy that was supposed to be off-limits, and was drowning in my feelings for him. How could I ever resurface from that?
Connor gently pulled out and rolled off of me. After sex foreplay that eventually lead us to another round was common for us, but this time, he simply reached for the keys on his nightstand and removed the cuffs that bound my hands together.
I rubbed my wrists, seeing the red marks around them. Connor saw too and took my hands, kissing my wrists tenderly. My heart leapt in my chest, before crashing down again, another piece fracturing.
Because no matter how sweet he was to me, he was still my dominant.
He wasn’t mine to have. To keep.
I pulled my hands from him and sat up on the bed, the soreness of my pussy radiating from my core. He had been relentless tonight and, even though I wanted it, my body would be sore for the rest of the night.
It was late and exhaustion pulled at me. I glanced around for something to throw on, but did it even matter? All of Connor’s staff had already gone for the night and my room sat only a handful of doors down the hall. I stood up, ready to leave since Connor hadn’t initiated another round of anything, but he stopped me.
One hand reached up and held my wrist as Connor laid on the bed, his blue eyes bright and striking as they seared into me. “Stay,” was all he said.
That one word ignited a bubble of hope inside of me, and my heart raced, beating faster than before. “What?”
Connor’s gaze pierced straight into my soul. He pulled me onto the bed and wrapped his arms around me. The resolve that I had been trying to build crumbled, the shield over my heart shattering. I was his.
Even if he wasn’t mine.
I was digging a deeper hole for myself.
“Stay with me,” he whispered again, his voice so soft and quiet that I could have imagined it.
He tucked me closer, flush against his naked body, skin on skin in a way that wasn’t sexual but tender and intimate.
“Stay with me tonight, Kitty,” Connor said, stroking my hair as I snuggled closer, smelling the masculine scent of him. “Sleep with me tonight.”
My weak heart gave in. Even if it was only for a single night, I wanted this. Wanted to feel like we had more than a contract. That he might care for me like I did for him.
Even if it wasn’t true.
I could still pretend. Just for tonight.
And tomorrow my heart would break even more, but in that moment, I didn’t care.
Connor snaked an arm around me, hugging me to his chest. The melody his heart made echoed in my ear even as the tears burned my eyes. I shut them, willing the stinging to go away, to let me just enjoy tonight for what it was worth.
My alpha placed a kiss on my forehead, acting like anything but a punishing dom. The tender kiss made my stomach flip, like butterflies, fluttering like crazy. I wondered if Connor knew what kind of effect he had on me. If he knew that my resolve was crashing around my feet.
If he knew I was drowning in feelings for him.
Was it hope or foolishness that had me wondering if he could feel the same way?
Because what we did tonight didn’t feel like simply fucking, like every other session we’d had. Tonight felt like more. Like he was making love to me in the only way he knew how.
A stupid, foolish glimmer of hope knocked its way into my heart. Could Connor have feelings for me too?
It was too late for me. I didn’t want to admit it before, but I couldn’t deny it any longer. I loved him.
I loved Connor Cartwright.
And maybe…just maybe he loved me too.
Chapter Sixteen
Connor
I’d made a mistake.
I’d nearly confessed my feelings to Kitty. Almost told her I was in love with her.
It was stupid of me to let her sleep in my bed that night. I’d only made things more complicated. But John had triggered the possessive dominant in me. Three nights ago, I’d been pretty buzzed but not completely drunk and had carried Kitty to my room, fucked her like she was really mine, and fell asleep with her after.
That next morning, I’d almost blurted out the three words that would’ve changed everything. Kitty had been sleeping in the crook of my arm, more beautiful than ever and it was then that I realized how far I’d fallen.
I couldn’t trust myself around her. Conf
essing my feelings would only complicate everything and probably send Kitty running scared. She hadn’t come into this looking for a relationship. Just a way out of her situation. Like John said, these girls wanted—or needed—our money, not us.
For the last three days, I’d kept Kitty at arm’s length. Not visiting her at all, pretending to be busy. And Kitty couldn’t just come to me, even if I hoped she’d break our rules and do it anyway. But because of our contract, she’d stayed in her room, with Mara bringing her food.
We only had a handful of days left in our contract. I couldn’t risk seeing her for them. I couldn’t trust myself not to blurt everything out or fall for her even more.
And confessing to her would be selfish. If she somehow did have feelings for me also, I’d want to keep her all to myself. But that would be risking her future, her goals of going to RISD. It would hurt too much not to have her by my side.
Kitty’s life had been hard. She deserved to have something good happen for once. And she was so talented that I couldn’t bear to see that go to waste.
She was meant to be more than just a submissive making contract after contract.
They say love requires sacrifice, but, fuck, did it have to be so hard? I wanted to see Kitty prosper and that meant making sure she went to RISD. Not staying with me.
I had to keep reminding myself that this was a one-month deal. And by the end of it, I had to let her go.
Kitty deserved a good life and I could give her that here, but it would be holding her back from who she was meant to be.
And I couldn’t do that to her. I had to just stay away from Kitty or I’d break. But could I even keep myself from her?
The temptation was too much. Fuck, I had less than a week with Kitty and three days had already been too much. I couldn’t even stay away.
I stared at Kitty’s door, unsure of what to do. I never usually knocked when I wanted to see her, but after days of leaving her alone, it felt awkward to barge in.
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