His Filthy Game

by Cassandra Dee

  I press my lips together nervously and wipe my chin with a napkin. “What are you talking about, Damien? What’s going on?”

  “You should try to patch things up with your father, Emma. He’s family. He’s your blood – he raised you.”

  The first thing I feel is shock. It’s like being plunged into a pool of ice water. Cold and horrible and painful. Goose bumps break out over my skin and I wrap my arms around my body and hug myself tightly.

  He wants me to go?

  He can’t be serious.

  “Was the breakfast really that bad?” I make an attempt at a joke, but Damien doesn’t laugh. When he doesn’t answer, I stare at him. “Why do you want me to go?”

  Damien sighs. “What we had was just a fling, and I think deep down, you know that to be true. I don’t want you here.”

  His words are absurd and I burst out laughing. It’s not appropriate, I know, but I can’t help it. “You can’t be serious,” I reply. “There’s no way. We’re … well, we’ve gotten so close. I came to you because I needed help.”

  Damien doesn’t reply. He takes a bite of bacon and then wipes his hands on a napkin. Despite the tough exterior that he’s trying to project, I can tell that he’s conflicted. These words don’t sound natural coming from him.

  There’s definitely something going on.

  If only I knew what it was.

  “You’re not being honest with me,” I say quietly. “There’s something else going on, and you’re not telling me about it.”

  Damien shakes his head. “Emma, nothing is going on. But you have to leave. I can’t have you here.”

  I stand up and put my hands on my hips. “You can’t have me here? Or you don’t want me here? Which is it, make up your mind!” Now, some of the shock is turning into anger. I can’t believe that he’s still trying to push me away when I’ve made it so clear that I need him.

  Damien gets to his feet and starts pacing around the cabin. Again, I’m reminded of the first time I was here when he couldn’t stop angrily stomping around as I ate.

  I was afraid of Damien then. But now something tells me that he’s afraid of me.

  “Tell me,” I demand as I turn to face him.

  “There’s nothing to tell, Emma,” Damien growls. “Just get out of here. Go!”

  “I don’t believe you!” I cry loudly. “I think you’re keeping something from me because you’re scared and afraid of what it means to open up to someone!”

  Damien is silent. He stops dead in his tracks and shakes his head. When he turns to face me, there’s an odd expression on his face. It’s both ironic and slightly cruel and my heart leaps into my throat at the glint in his sapphire eyes.

  “Your father, Jason Hadley,” Damien spits. “He was my business partner. We founded Xander Corp together years ago. And he betrayed me and had me sent to prison for embezzlement when I didn’t do a goddamned thing wrong!”

  The blood drains from my face and I have to grip the edge of the table to keep from passing out. For a long moment, I can’t even breathe. Then my lungs start to burn and I gasp for air, breathing like it might just be my last.

  “This is why you have to leave,” Damien says sternly. “You have conflicted loyalties.”

  I shake my head. “You don’t get it, do you? I don’t owe my father a darn thing. He’s treated me really badly for my entire life.”

  “No,” Damien says. “You can’t be here. You have to go.”

  Hot tears rush to my eyes and before I can stop them. They’re streaming down my cheeks. My nose fills with gooey snot and soon I’m a hot mess, sobbing so hard that I can barely stand up. I keep waiting for Damien to apologize and take me into his arms but he just stands there, staring at me.

  “Please,” I sob. “Please Damien, don’t make me go!”

  The mountain man crosses the room and opens the front door. Cold air rushes into the cabin as he stands there with his hand on the deadbolt.

  “Emma, go,” Damien says dully. “You can’t be here anymore. You have to go home to your family. Make things right with your family. Family is all you have.”

  But I don’t have anything without you! I want to cry out. Unfortunately, there’s something about the look in Damien’s deep blue eyes that tells me he isn’t kidding.

  God, he really does want me gone.

  The tears come harder as I shove my feet into my boots. The whole time, my heart is pounding and my whole body is shaking. I can’t believe this – after turning to the man I love for help, I have nowhere to go.

  I can’t go home. I can’t face my father. And I can’t go running to Lacey, either. Since I never told her about Damien, there’s no way I could tell her the whole story from the beginning.

  Sniffling loudly, I turn to Damien and give him a pleading look. “Please don’t make me go,” I whisper. “Please don’t do this.”

  Damien gives a single jerk of his head. “I’m sorry, Emma,” he says gravely. “But you have to leave.”

  As I stumble out the door, my vision is blinded with tears.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Damien

  Watching Emma’s Rubenesque figure disappear into the woods is, hands down, the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Every cell of my body is screaming for her to turn around and come back. Every nerve is telling me to chase after her, to grab her in my arms and tell her that I love her and need her desperately.

  But I can’t go after her. I can’t ever see her again. I don’t think I’d be able to do it without breaking down and telling her the truth about how much I love her.

  I did the right thing. Yes, it was hard. But I couldn’t let Emma stay here in blissful ignorance while I take action against her conniving bastard of a father.

  Why does she mean so much to me? What happened? What kind of man have I become? Emma is the best woman in the world. She’s a ray of sweet sunshine and she’s so incredibly special. I can’t believe she’s spent her entire life thinking less of herself because of her dirtbag parents.

  I meant for all of this to just be a fling. When I first saw Emma’s curves emerging from the bushes, I could feel my blood run hot. My lust for her is so powerful that I don’t trust myself around her. And I thought it would ebb after taking her once.

  But, no. Now, if anything, I just want her more than ever before. I want to feel her soft, plump body writhing underneath mine. I miss her loud cries of passion and her shrieking moans whenever I suck on her clit.

  Goddamn. Now I’m lonely, horny, and fucking miserable.

  This girl has wormed her way into my heart and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget her. There’s just something so unpretentious and kind about her. I love the way she thinks of me: even her stupid fixation on Doritos is enough to bring a smile to my face.

  She’s too good. She’s simply too good, too pure, and too heavenly for an animal like me. She doesn’t deserve to get caught up in this shit between me and Jason Hadley. She’s an innocent girl, and we’re two old men who will beat each other to death if given the chance.

  It’s definitely for the best that I sent her away.

  God, if only she hadn’t turned on the waterworks. Some men can’t stand the sight of a woman’s tears. I knew plenty of men like that in my old life. Hell, I used to consider myself one of them.

  But when I saw Emma cry, it was like something broke inside of me. Her sobs were so genuinely gut-wrenching that I was afraid she’d make herself sick. I’ve never seen anyone cry like that before. It ripped me raw inside.

  Now that she’s gone, I can go back to focusing on what matters. Getting my appeal filed and watching as Jason Hadley crashes and burns.

  There’s part of me that doesn’t even want to go forward with it now. I feel sick at the prospect of putting Emma’s father away, but the prospect of putting Jason Hadley away fills me with a twisted glee.

  God. If only they weren’t the same man. If only my former partner was some childless bastard, then I wouldn’t feel guilty about r
uining any more lives.

  But he ruined my life, and karma is a goddamned bitch.

  With a heavy heart, I pick up my satellite phone and dial Jed. The connection is shaky at best but it’s not long before a cheerful secretary answers and patches my call through.

  “I was wondering when you’d decide to grow a pair and do the right thing.”

  I groan. What the fuck is it with lawyers, anyway? Why are they all so awful?

  “Yeah, well, it’s time to put that motherfucker behind bars,” I growl into the phone. “And I’m more than ready to see him rot in prison.”

  “Good man,” Jed says jovially. “Now about your appeal. I have everything filed and ready to go before a judge on Monday. Are you ready to come out of the woods and face the music?”

  I sigh heavily and put my face in my hands. As soon as I close my eyes, Emma’s angelic round face pops into my mind. God, she’s beautiful.

  “Hello?” Jed snaps. “Damien, are you there?”

  “Bad connection,” I lie.

  “Well, when all of this is a distant memory, you can come out of the woods and live like a normal person again,” Jed says. “And that includes getting a better phone.”

  “I doubt that,” I say drily. Somehow, the idea of putting Jason behind bars makes me want to retreat even further. Maybe I should put my cabin on the market and move far, far away.

  Away from Emma and her sweet, beautiful soul. I never want to hurt her again.

  “You’re not even listening to me,” Jed says. His sharp voice pops the bubble of Emma inside my head and I come crashing back down to reality.

  “I’m right here,” I say in exasperation. “And yes, I’m ready.”

  “Good,” Jed replies. “This is going to be the case of a lifetime and it’ll be all over the media. I want you to get a lot of rest, and shave off that beard. You’ve got to look every inch the executive once again if we have any hope of winning.”

  “The evidence should speak for itself,” I grunt. “I don’t see why I should have to change.”

  Jed snorts. “Just do it, mountain man,” he says. “I’ll see you soon.”

  He hangs up before I can reply. Even though Jed is the best lawyer in the state, if not the country, he still wants me to change before we go to court with our case. Everyone always wanted something from me, and Jed is no exception. He wants my money … and he wants me to conform to his idea of how a successful client should look.

  The only person who hasn’t ever wanted something from me is Emma. All she wanted was food and a warm bed and love … and my huge cock rammed up her pussy.

  Jesus Christ, I’m never going to get over this woman. What do I do now?

  Chapter Fifteen

  Emma

  With only my broken heart to keep me company, I start the long trudge home. Every step is torture. I want to turn around and run back to Damien’s cabin and throw myself in his arms.

  I want to remind him of the powerful connection between us. I want him to know how bad I need him in my life.

  But then I remember that he doesn’t want me, and the realization hurts so terribly that I can’t breathe. For what feels like hours, I stand in the woods, crying and unable to move.

  How could Damien be so cruel? How could he say that what happened between us had been nothing but a fling? How did it come to this?

  Deep down, I know it’s because I don’t deserve to be loved. I’m a nobody. I’m a fat girl with mediocre grades and a meek personality. There’s nothing about me that stands out. Damien would be able to replace me in a heartbeat if he wanted.

  He made me feel so special, though. That’s what kills me now. Remembering how Damien treated me with kindness and love hurts most of all. I thought that I was breaking down the barriers between us and really getting to know him, but I was wrong. The whole time, Damien didn’t care about me.

  Heck, he was probably just using me for sex. And when the fog of lust cleared from those gorgeous eyes of his, he saw me for who I really am.

  A complete and utter disappointment. The kind of girl who lets everyone down.

  God, I wish I could just run away and live alone forever. For the first time, I really understand why Damien wanted to be alone and away from society.

  I can’t go back to my normal life. And I’m certainly not going to Trim Acres, either. But I can’t stay out in the middle of the woods. It’s freezing cold out here and I won’t last long. Setting my mouth in a line of grim determination, I decide to go home and grab a few more things, then set off for … wherever.

  The Greyhound station seems like a good idea. I can catch a bus out of here to the first big city that sounds good. Then, maybe, I can establish some kind of new life for myself.

  But I know that no matter what I do, I’m never going to be able to forget about Damien and the utter heartbreak I feel.

  By the time I’m back at my parents’ house, the sky is streaked with the first sign of dawn. My heart is heavy in my chest, and I wish that I could lie down and sleep for a thousand years. I can’t do that, though. Or rather, I won’t. Not anymore.

  I’ve spent my life being passive, and it’s time for a change. It’s time for me to stand up for myself and take what I want. I’m not going to let other people dictate the terms of my life anymore.

  Sneaking up to the front door, I gently push it open and step into the foyer. For a moment, I’m worried that I’ll catch Gina – this is around the time that she arrives at work in the mornings. I know that I couldn’t handle the look of disappointment on her face. If there was anyone in the world besides my mother and Lacey who wanted me to be happy, surely it would be Gina.

  But thankfully, the house is dark and silent. I take a deep breath as I start up the stairs. Inside, my chest feels cold and hollow. I feel as if Damien reached into my chest and ripped out my heart. Just thinking about his name stings.

  Before I can stop myself, I’m crying again. Damnit, Emma, pull yourself together, I tell myself as I push open the door to my room. Lock it up!

  “Emma?”

  My mother’s soft voice startles me, but I don’t jump. I simply no longer have the energy to be frightened. I turn around to see Ramona standing behind me with a concerned look on your face.

  “After you said that you weren’t feeling well, I went to check on you,” Mom says softly. “And you weren’t in your bed. Then I went downstairs and saw that your father’s lunch for tomorrow was missing.”

  All I can do in response is sniffle pathetically. Emotions are swirling through my chest and I want to confess everything, but I still feel like I can’t give Damien’s secret away.

  After all, it’s not my story to tell.

  But when my mother steps forward and pulls me into her arms for a comforting hug, I lose all remaining control. The tears begin to fall faster and faster until I’m sobbing into Mom’s shirt, soaking the expensive merino wool with my tears and gooey snot. Mom doesn’t complain, though. She holds me tightly and strokes my hair.

  “It’s okay, sweetie,” Mom says. “Shhhh, stop crying.” She takes me by the hand and leads me into my room where she gently pushes me toward the bed.

  “Can you stay here for a few minutes?” Mom asks. “I’ll be right back.”

  I look up at her in alarm. “God, Mom, please don’t tell Dad!”

  Ramona shakes her head. “No, honey, that’s not what I’m going to do. Don’t worry. Just try to relax and I’ll be back soon.”

  She leaves and closes the door behind her with a soft, muted click. I flop down on my bed and wipe my nose on my arm. I can’t believe that just a few hours ago, I was right here, plotting to leave home and live with Damien forever.

  And now look what’s happened. I’m back at square one, except it’s even worse because I still can’t believe he kicked me out. When did this all go so wrong? When did he decide that I was no longer worth loving?

  Or maybe he never loved me at all?

  When my mother returns, she’s carryin
g a tray with two steaming mugs of tea and a plate of cinnamon buns. The sugary confections smell incredible and despite my sorrow, my stomach rumbles at the thought of comfort food.

  “I thought you could use a snack,” Mom says quietly. She sets the tray down on my desk and passes me a mug of tea before settling down in the chair. “Tell me what happened, honey.”

  I bite my lip and swallow hard. The tea feels good in my hands – the ceramic is soothing and warm, and I can feel that I’m finally starting to relax. But I still don’t think that talking to my mother about Damien is a good idea.

  Especially considering what I know now.

  “Thanks for the tea,” I say in a soft voice.

  Mom nods. “Gina made the cinnamon roll dough last night. She was going to bake them this morning but when I saw that your bed was empty, I couldn’t sleep.” She pauses and I can tell there’s something else on her mind.

  “You made these?”

  Mom nodded.

  I reach for the tray and take one. It’s warm and topped with gooey icing that smells incredible. After taking a huge bite and chewing, I smile at my mother. In all my years at home, I can’t remember the last time she baked.

  “It’s really good,” I say.

  “Gina did all the work, I just put them in the oven,” Mom replies modestly. She shifts uncomfortably in the chair. “Honey, I know about Trim Acres. Your father told me. You don’t have to go. I think you’re beautiful the way you are.”

  “Is that why you brought me the cinnamon rolls?”

  Mom flushes guiltily. “I just … well, I know I haven’t always been the most accepting of your size. But I just want you to be happy, and I don’t want to send you off to that horrible place if you don’t want to go. It isn’t fair to you.”

  I bite my lip and nod, feeling relieved. At least there’s one less thing to worry about now.

  “But I know something else is going on,” Mom says. This time, she sounds a little more confident of herself. “And I want you to tell me what it is. I’m worried about you, Em.”