Dave the Unicorn: Field Trip

by Pip Bird

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  Table of Contents

  About the Author and Illustrator

  Copyright Page

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  For Madeleine and Theo –RLO

  For Eliza –LB

  For Chloe –David O’Connell

  CHAPTER ONE

  Tick Tock, Tick Tock

  Tick tock, tick tock, BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

  “Good morning, Rani!” said Mira, as her big sister opened her eyes.

  “GGAAAARRRRRGH!” Rani screamed. “Why are you in my face?!”

  Mira threw down the alarm clock and started jumping up and down on her sister’s bed. “We’ve got to get to Unicorn School! It’s MY FIELD TRIP TODAY!” Mira yelled. She was waving her signed permission slip in the air. “I’m almost ready! I just need to make my packed lunch.”

  “Get OFF!” Rani shoved Mira off the bed and stuck her head under the pillow.

  Mira jumped onto the floor, hopping from foot to foot. “What do you think I should have in my sandwiches, tuna or cheese?”

  “GO AWAY!” Rani flung a pillow at her little sister.

  “Okay, bye! See you downstairs!” Mira dodged the pillow and scooped up their cat, Pickles, for a cuddle on the way.

  Soon, she’d be cuddling Dave, her UBFF (Unicorn Best Friend Forever). He was the best unicorn in the world. Sure, he could be pretty grumpy. And he ALWAYS wanted to eat snacks or take a nap, and this often got them both in trouble. And he certainly wasn’t as glittery as some of the other unicorns. (He was much more farty.) BUT Dave was Mira’s UBFF and they always ended up having the most amazing adventures and TONS of fun.

  Unicorn School was Mira’s favorite place in the whole world. They went on quests around the Fearsome Forest, hung out with Darcy and Raheem and their unicorns, AND earned medals. She couldn’t wait to go back!

  * * *

  After Mira had made her sandwiches (she’d decided on cheese) and had some breakfast, it was time to get dressed.

  “I wish I could wear my kitticorn pajamas to school, Pickles,” Mira said, stroking the picture of the adorable kitticorn on her PJs. A kitticorn was a supercute baby cat that had a horn just like a unicorn. She’d found a book about them in the Unicorn School library and ever since then she’d been OBSESSED—drawing tons of pictures of them, keeping a list of her Top Ten Kitticorn Facts, and making her very own kitticorn toy out of cotton wool and a toilet paper roll (even though Rani said it looked more like a weird pig).

  Mira was longing to meet a kitticorn in real life, but they were VERY rare. She was planning to ask the Unicorn School teachers if they’d ever seen one. But first she had to get to Unicorn School!

  As soon as Mira and Rani were dressed, it was time to leave. Rani was still grumbling about having to get up so early, but Mira was so excited about her very first Unicorn School trip that she chatted nonstop in the car on the way to the Magic Portal, and all the way around the supermarket.

  Most people brought their unicorns treats like hay or carrots. But Dave liked doughnuts best of all. Unfortunately, the store didn’t have any doughnuts, so Mira bought some vanilla cream cookies instead. She’d read that vanilla creams were a kitticorn’s favorite food, and so she was sure Dave would like them, too! They were on sale, so she got five packages.

  Mira checked and double-checked her bag for her packed lunch and permission slip. She didn’t want anything to get in the way of her first field trip. She didn’t even know where they were going yet! It was all so exciting.

  When they arrived at the Magic Portal, it wasn’t as busy as usual. It was only Mira’s class, Class Red, that had a field trip and had to arrive super early. There was something extra special about being at the portal before most other people had gotten there, and before the sun was even fully up. It felt like going on vacation!

  “Have a wonderful school trip, Mira!” said Mom, giving her a big hug, while Rani yawned loudly in her ear.

  “Thanks, Mom. Oh look, there’s Raheem!” Mira ran toward Raheem while waving back at her mom. “See you sooooooon!”

  Raheem was one of Mira’s best friends at Unicorn School. Along with Darcy, the three of them always had incredible adventures. Raheem was clutching his briefcase and looking a little bleary-eyed. Mira sprinted over and knocked him off-balance with a huge hug.

  “Woohoo! Are you ready for this?!” she yelled in his ear.

  “Um, yes, hello!” Raheem mumbled through a yawn.

  “Then LET’S GO!” Mira dragged Raheem over to the portal, which was in some bushes behind the trash cans. On the way she listed her top five favorite kitticorn colors, to wake him up a little. When they reached the bushes, Mira reached out for the sparkles and—

  Twinkly lights exploded around them as they zoomed upward, as if they were being sucked up a spiral slide by a rainbow vacuum cleaner. As quickly as they whooshed upward, they were suddenly hurtling back down again. Soft pink and gold rays of the rising sun shone in their eyes as they tumbled onto the landing haystack and rolled out into the Grand Paddock.

  Mira took a deep breath and looked around. Right away she spotted something new. Next to the landing haystack was a big rainbow-colored BUS!

  “Do you think that’s for the field trip? I can’t wait to find out where we’re going!” Mira squealed, squeezing Raheem in excitement.

  Just then, they heard a—

  “TA-DAAA!” It was Darcy, spinning over to them with a wheelie. She gave Mira and Raheem high fives. “Hi, team. Missed you! Shall we find our—”

  Before Darcy had a chance to finish, two unicorns came cantering over. Star and Brave were Darcy’s and Raheem’s unicorns, and today they were wearing the presents that Darcy and Raheem had made them on an earlier visit to Unicorn School. Brave was wearing Raheem’s special homemade superhero cape, while Star was in a wig that Darcy had made her so they would have matching hair.

  Star and Brave gave their humans a nuzzle. But where was Dave?

  Mira looked around for her Unicorn Best Friend Forever. Down the hill, the school turrets and clock tower gleamed in the rising sun. Beyond the school, Mira could see the Fearsome Forest, and beyond that the sparkly Crystal Mountains. It was all so magical, but there was still no sign of Dave.

  Miss Glitterhorn, the Class Red teacher, appeared by the side of the bus, yawning and drinking from a very big mug of tea. She put the tea down and clapped her hands.

  “Good morning, Class Red!” she called.

  “Gooooood mooooorrrning, Miss Glitterhorrrrn,” called the children, sounding more tired than usual.

  “Hi, Mom!” shouted Flo, who’d fallen asleep and woken up with a start.

  “Please line up with your unicorns for the field trip,” said Miss Glitterhorn. “We are leaving shortly. Have your permission slips ready!”

  Mira quickly checked—yes, she still had her permission slip. But where was her unicorn? She didn’t want him to miss the field trip!

  “Dave? Da-ave!” Mira called quietly, ducking behind
the bus to see if she could spot him.

  Colin the Caretaker was filling up the bus with rainbow-berry juice. The pump was attached to a long line of tubes all coming from different rainbow-berry trees at the edge of the forest.

  Colin suddenly looked confused. He took the pump out of the bus and shook it. It looked like the juice had dried up.

  There was a sudden slurp sound behind her. Mira looked around and saw a plump unicorn butt poking out of the rainbow-berry trees. There was her unicorn!

  “Dave!” she whispered.

  The little unicorn turned and gave her a wave with his front hoof. He had one of the pipes in his mouth and was guzzling up the rainbow-berry juice!

  “There you are!” Mira said with a giggle and ran over to give him a big hug.

  By distracting Dave with a slightly sticky candy she found in her pocket, Mira managed to get the pipe off him and reconnect it to the pump. Colin started whistling happily as the juice began flowing into the bus again. Dave gave a series of cheerful burps.

  “Dave, we have to line up with the others. We’re going on a trip today!” Mira tried to wipe off the rainbow-berry stains from around Dave’s mouth with the end of her sleeve, but she just ended up covered in the berry juice, too. “That’s a little better. Come on!”

  Usually Mira had to drag Dave everywhere because he was either asleep or he would sit down and refuse to move. But right now Dave seemed very overexcited. Mira wondered if it was because of all the supersweet rainbow-berry juice and the candy. Instead of just trotting back to the bus, Dave zoomed backward and forward across the grass, knocking into trees and still burping loudly. Then he started doing all his best prancing moves. Eventually Mira managed to push the little prancing unicorn around to the bus just as Miss Glitterhorn was crossing the last of her classmates off the register.

  “And, good! That’s everyone. Oh!” said Miss Glitterhorn. “Dave—you look … rather unusual this morning?”

  Mira looked closely at her unicorn. His mane had turned rainbow-colored. It must have been the rainbow-berry juice!

  “Um, Dave just wanted to … look nice for the field trip?” Mira said. She hoped her teacher wouldn’t ask any more questions.

  “How lovely,” said Miss Glitterhorn vaguely.

  Phew, thought Mira. Surely soon they would find out where they were going and then the field trip could begin!

  CHAPTER TWO

  All Aboard the Rainbow Bus!

  The Unicorn School principal, Madame Shetland, joined Miss Glitterhorn at the bus.

  “Welcome back to Unicorn School, Class Red,” yawned Madame Shetland. “Are you ready for your first field trip?”

  They all cheered and Darcy started the wave.

  “Yes, it is very exciting,” agreed Madame Shetland sleepily. “Especially as this field trip will also involve a special quest.”

  A ripple of excitement ran through Class Red. Mira wondered if there would be an opportunity to win a medal!

  Madame Shetland shushed the class. “So, today you will be going to BARCC. Miss Glitterhorn will tell you all you need to know on the way there.”

  Raheem nudged Mira. “We have to … bark? Like a dog? I’m a little scared of dogs.”

  “WOOF!” barked Flo.

  Mira was almost too excited to speak. “No, no!” she said, hopping from one foot to the other. “BARCC stands for Baby Animal Rainbow Care Center. It’s where they look after lots of animals and their babies. And they sometimes have … they sometimes have…”

  Mira could feel her cheeks flushing and her stomach was fluttering with excitement.

  “What?” asked Darcy. “You look weird.”

  “KITTICORNS!” exploded Mira. “They’re, like, the cutest things EVER!”

  “Kitticorns are great,” agreed Flo. “They’re my fourth favorite animals after sloths, llamas, and goblins.”

  “Meh,” said Darcy. “I’m a dog person. Kittens stare at you with those creepy eyes that are too big for their faces, you know? Like, what are they thinking?”

  Mira frowned at her friend. “Darcy, they are the cutest things EVER. Did you know, kitticorns can be all colors of the rainbow, but the official cutest ones are gold? They’re very rare and superspecial.”

  Dave snorted loudly and shook his rainbow mane.

  “Oh, you’re superspecial too, Dave,” said Mira quickly, giving him a comforting pat. “But kitticorns are THE most special supercute special things in the ENTIRE WORLD.”

  Dave looked annoyed and farted.

  “If you say so, Mira,” said Darcy with a shrug. “There’d better be a gift shop at this place.”

  Miss Glitterhorn clapped her hands. “Now, have you all got your packed lunches?”

  “I DO!” Mira shouted, waving her lunch box in the air. It was newly covered in kitticorn stickers. Inside were the cheese sandwiches she’d made earlier, plus an apple, an orange, and a box of raisins. Plus, her mom had let her have a bag of potato chips AND a chocolate cookie. And she had all the vanilla creams for Dave.

  “We’ve all got lunch boxes, Mira,” scoffed Jake, rolling his eyes. “My dad put FOUR chocolate cookies in mine.”

  Mira stuck her tongue out at Jake. He always had to brag about something.

  The teacher clapped her hands. “Okay, time to get on the bus! On you g— Yes, Darcy?”

  Darcy put her hand up. “Miss, I need to go to the bathroom,” she said.

  “Does anyone else need to use the bathroom?” asked Miss Glitterhorn.

  Everyone except Flo put their hands up.

  “Right, everyone quickly go to the stableyard to use the bathrooms there,” Miss Glitterhorn instructed. “Please make sure your unicorns have had a chance to go as well.”

  Mira lined up with the rest of her class for the bathrooms, then took Dave over to the unicorn bathroom to do his business. Unicorn poops were usually small and glittery, but not Dave’s. He made giant sloppy poops which took Mira a long time to clean up. Mira was worried they might miss the bus, so she snuck Dave a cookie from her lunch box to hurry him up. She was pleased to see that he DID like vanilla creams.

  “Dave, you and kitticorns have something in common—you BOTH love the same cookies!” she told him happily.

  Dave frowned and spat the vanilla cream out on the floor. They both looked at it, and Dave ate it again. And then he made a giant poop. Mira sighed. She whipped out the foldable poop shovel she now always carried in her pocket and got to work.

  Miss Glitterhorn was looking at her watch and tapping her foot when the class returned to the bus. “Good, right, children. We really must be going now. Yes, Flo?”

  Flo put her hand down. “I need to go to the bathroom.”

  Miss Glitterhorn sighed loudly. “Why didn’t you go when everyone else did?”

  “I was busy braiding Sparkles’s hair,” Flo explained. “She wanted to look nice for the trip.” Flo’s unicorn, Sparkles, flicked her fishtail braid over one shoulder.

  “Okay! Fine,” said Miss Glitterhorn. “Quickly, please, go and use the bathroom. Everyone else, please put on a high-visibility vest. We need to be able to spot you around the farm.”

  Colin the Caretaker brought out a box of neon-yellow vests. Jake got to it first and spent a while rummaging through the box.

  “Jake, hurry up, please,” said Miss Glitterhorn. She was starting to sound exasperated.

  “I just want to make sure I get the best one,” said Jake.

  “They’re all identical, Jake,” said Darcy, wheeling over and grabbing the top one off the pile. “It’s how you wear them that matters.”

  Everyone put one on, including the unicorns.

  Finally Class Red and their unicorns all filed onto the bus.

  Jake was pushing past everyone, trying to get to the backseat. “Everyone knows that the cool people sit at the back,” he said.

  Mira had wanted to get the backseats for her, Raheem, and Darcy, but Jake was too quick. He scrambled on board, dragging his unicorn Peg
asus with him, and jumped onto the backseat, next to Tamsin and her unicorn, Moondance.

  “YES!” yelled Jake. “Me and Pegasus are the BEST at buses!”

  “Get comfortable, everyone,” called Miss Glitterhorn from the front. “It’s a long journey.”

  “Once we were going on vacation and the car journey was eight hours,” said Jake smugly.

  “Once I got so carsick I threw up all over my mom’s head,” said Tamsin, next to him.

  Jake stood up in alarm.

  “No switching seats! Sit down please, Jake,” said Miss Glitterhorn.

  Mira, Raheem, and Darcy all found seats, one behind the other. Mira leaned over to buckle Dave’s seat belt and accidentally tickled his tummy. Dave started to do his Dave laugh, which was a loud HAW HAW sound that Raheem found a bit frightening, but Mira thought was one of the best sounds in the world. She tickled his belly again, and Dave laughed loudly.

  Once the whole class was in their seats, the doors closed. And finally they set off up Unicorn School Drive, into the Fearsome Forest!

  “Woohoo, field trip!” shouted Darcy, flinging her hands in the air.

  Seb and his unicorn, Firework, started beatboxing while the class chanted, “Field! Trip! Field! Trip!” Except Flo, who was yelling, “Sloths, sloths, sloths!”

  Miss Glitterhorn clapped her hands several times to get their attention. “Please stop cheering, so I can make the safety announcements!” she shouted.

  “Yay!” cheered Raheem.

  “First, please stay seated on the bus at all times with your seat belts on,” Miss Glitterhorn said.

  Darcy’s hand shot up. “But, miss, you’re standing,” she said.

  Miss Glitterhorn sighed. “I will sit as soon as I have completed the announcements, thank you, Darcy.”

  “Maybe you could hook your seat belt around your leg?” said Darcy helpfully.

  “Thank you, Darcy. Anyway!” said Miss Glitterhorn. “We are on our way to BARCC. This is a very important field trip to learn all about the animals in our world and how to take care of them—”