Back to You

by Cathy Cole

  The moon rode high in the sky, turning the sand to silver and the sea to star-speckled ink. Eve stood for a long while beside the sea wall, letting the wind from the sea rake its cool fingers through her hair. It was too late to find Munroe the lawyer now. Delivering the laptop would have to wait until the morning. Would he be in the office on Sunday? She wasn’t sure she cared.

  Maybe she could go to the Heartbeat and see her friends. They’d be there until it closed at eleven o’clock, which was still some time away. But she wasn’t sure she was up to their concern or their questions, however kindly meant.

  She let herself cry for a while. No one was watching. The numbness in her heart eased, but she knew it would take a long time to heal completely. The wind dried her tears almost as they fell. Wiping her cheeks with the backs of her hands, she headed towards the sea as it broke in long frilled white ribbons along the shore. As she walked, she discerned a lone figure standing at the water’s edge.

  She drew closer, wondering. Hardly daring to hope.

  “Hi,” Becca said, turning as she approached. She didn’t seem surprised to see Eve at all.

  Eve felt ridiculously happy at the sight of her. “How did you get out of the station?” she gasped. “They were on the verge of arresting you! What are you doing here?” She’d been asking that a lot this evening.

  Becca laughed. “I sneaked out in the middle of the chaos. No one saw. It’s amazing what turning your jacket inside out and sticking a hat on your head can do. Police officers can be blind as bats when they don’t know what they’re looking for.”

  “You’re unbelievable,” said Eve.

  “I know,” Becca said cheerfully. “So, after all that, did you get to see your dad?”

  Eve didn’t want to talk about her father. “Seriously, you’re like some kind of superwoman,” she said. How could she begin to tell Becca what she meant to her? “Thank you again, for helping me. That’s three times you’ve come to my rescue in the past few days.”

  Becca lifted a shoulder. “Who’s counting?”

  “I am,” Eve replied seriously.

  She put her arms around Becca and pulled her into a tight embrace. Becca hugged her back, burying her face in Eve’s neck and wrapping her arms around Eve’s back. They stood by the edge of the water, swaying gently in each other’s arms. Eve didn’t want to let go. Everything about Becca felt so right. Her size, her shape, her smell. They fitted together like jigsaw pieces.

  “How did you know Lila and I would break into the house?” Eve whispered against Becca’s hair. “I still can’t believe you did that for me. Got yourself into trouble over an imaginary car to bail me out.” She felt a rush of shame, remembering how she and Becca had parted the previous night. “I hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye.”

  Becca stroked her hands gently through Eve’s hair. “I overheard the whole plan. I was standing inside the cottage, listening. When I heard you were talking to another girl, I listened harder. Jealousy gives you sharp ears.”

  Eve moved back in surprise, gazing into Becca’s steady eyes. “You were jealous of Lila?” she said disbelievingly.

  “She’s pretty,” said Becca. “She has big blue eyes.”

  Eve wanted to laugh. The thought of kissing Lila had never even crossed her mind. “I can’t believe you were jealous,” she said in amazement. The thought gave her a thrill deep in the pit of her stomach.

  Becca gave half a smile. “Don’t laugh at me.”

  “I won’t,” Eve promised, resolving at once never to tease Becca about Lila. “There’s nothing between us. We’re just friends.”

  Becca’s arms tightened around Eve’s back. “I’m glad,” she said.

  They stood together for a little while longer with their heads resting on each other’s shoulders. Eve felt like she’d come home. Perhaps for the first time in her life.

  She tentatively took Becca’s hand. “Walk with me?” she said.

  There didn’t seem to be any need for conversation. They walked along the creeping tideline towards the clock tower at the eastern end of the bay, then scrambled over the rocks together. The moon lit the way, striping their path with strong black shadows. The air lingered on Eve’s skin, warm and pleasant as a spring afternoon.

  She thought about what her father had said as they moved along the path towards the secret cove. You’ll have your life back sometime soon, Evie… What kind of life did she want, when it came down to it? Her old life of luxury, or this simpler life she had been learning to live in the past few days? This world where it didn’t matter what labels she wore, what perfume she sprayed herself with, what stamps she collected in her passport, whether she dated a girl or a boy? A big house and a designer wardrobe paid for by pale-faced victims in courtrooms, or a sleepy candlelit cottage, cold water from the pump and raspberries from the garden and Becca’s face smiling at her by the light of the fire?

  “Becca?” she said as they moved off the path and on to the pure silver sand of the secret cove.

  Becca paused. “Are you OK? Do you want to go back?”

  Go back. That was it exactly. She didn’t want to go back. Eve felt a calmness come upon her. This was what she wanted. This, here, now.

  “I don’t want to live a lie any more,” she said. She tightened her hold on Becca’s hand. “Will you kiss me?”

  Becca’s face blazed with delight. “Are you sure?”

  Eve nodded.

  Becca pressed her mouth gently to Eve’s. The sweetness of the kiss spread through Eve’s veins like warm honey. She pulled Becca tightly against her and kissed her back, pushing her hands through Becca’s hair and marvelling at the feelings coursing through her body. She’d never experienced a kiss like it. This was what everyone spoke about in hushed whispers. This was what had been missing. It was right. It was perfect.

  Eve didn’t want it to end.

  TWENTY-TWO

  Holding hands, Eve and Becca lay in the sand and listened to the swish of the waves. It was very peaceful out here, no one to bother them. Eve breathed in the sharp ocean air, determined to forget the bleachy stench of the prison cells. These were precious moments. She didn’t want to waste a single one.

  “Happy?” Becca asked. Eve could hear the smile in her voice.

  “Happy,” Eve replied. It was an understatement, but it was the best she could do in the circumstances. She’d kissed Becca and truly understood herself for the first time. Her feelings were still too new and wonderful for words.

  “Are you worried about what your friends will say?” Becca asked into the darkness.

  Where had that come from? Eve sat up in surprise and stared at Becca. “What do you mean? What they’ll say about what?”

  “You know what I mean.” Becca studied her fingernails, then shot a sideways look at Eve that was full of doubt. “You and me. How will you feel when you tell them?”

  “Don’t talk about it like that,” said Eve. She was shocked Becca was talking like this, after the romantic evening they’d had together.

  “You are going to tell them, aren’t you?” Becca checked.

  This was getting weirder by the minute. “Of course I’m going to tell them,” Eve said, mystified. “What do you take me for?”

  Becca gazed at her steadily. “I take you for who you are. A girl who’s never dated a girl before. It won’t be easy, you know.”

  “You’re making problems that don’t exist,” Eve protested. She wondered how she would feel telling her friends, now that Becca had mentioned it. She hadn’t given it much thought. In all honesty, her friends’ reactions were the least of her worries right now. Why was Becca being so strange about this?

  “I’m just being realistic,” Becca replied. “I’ve been through this before, you know. Thinking I had something with a girl, and then being dumped when things got awkward.”

  Eve understood. She st
roked Becca’s cheek gently. “You’re not being realistic,” she said. “You’re being cynical. I’m sorry things haven’t worked out for you in the past, but this is different. Telling my friends isn’t going to be a problem. It’ll be fine. Trust me.”

  “Like I trusted you to introduce me to Lila back at the cottage?”

  Eve winced. “I already said sorry about that. That was then, OK? This is now.”

  “I’ll understand if you want to keep us a secret,” said Becca. “You know, for a while.”

  Eve couldn’t believe her ears. “You want us to be a secret?”

  Becca tucked her hands into her armpits in the old defensive pose Eve knew so well, as she stared out across the wide star-spangled sea. “It’s not what I want. I’m just—”

  Eve took Becca by the shoulders and kissed her hard. “I’m not ashamed of you,” she said, willing Becca to believe her. “I agree, it might be strange when I tell them. But they’ll get used to it. They’re good friends, Becca. They’ve stood by me through so much. I can do this if you can.”

  Becca looked happier. “Now?”

  Eve frowned. “What do you mean, now?”

  “You and me, telling your friends. They’re at the Heartbeat Café right now aren’t they?”

  Eve pictured the Heartbeat. Their usual table, up by the stage. Ollie and Polly laughing together; Max trying to win Rhi back with his usual charm; Lila and Josh curled around each other like puppies in a basket. Girl, boy, girl, boy, girl, boy.

  She checked her watch. It was almost half past ten.

  “Race you to the clock tower,” she said, and took off down the beach towards the path.

  “Hey!” Becca shouted, laughing in surprise. “Come back you nutcase. Wait, will you?”

  Eve felt like a balloon that had been slowly filling with helium and was suddenly straining at its moorings, hungry for the limitless sky. Her father struggled with honesty. She wasn’t going to be like her father.

  “Come back!” Becca shouted.

  Laughing and whooping in challenge, Eve found a speed in her legs she never knew existed. Becca caught up with her at the clock tower. Several people turned and stared as they collapsed together on the bench, laughing their heads off.

  “Kiss me now,” Becca said in challenge. “I bet you won’t.”

  There were half a dozen people watching, but Eve realized she didn’t care. She took Becca’s face between her hands and kissed her, long and sweet. “Lost your bet,” she said, releasing Becca and grinning. “The Heartbeat closes in half an hour. We have to hurry if we’re going to catch the others.”

  They ran hand in hand down Marine Parade, ducking up the steps and threading through the lanes to the old wooden doors of the Heartbeat Café.

  “Ready?” Eve panted, leaning against the door frame to catch her breath and her courage.

  “Born ready,” Becca said warily. “You?”

  “Never readier.” Eve opened the door and stood there for a moment, drinking in the sight of her friends all gathered where she had known they would be, up by the stage, juice bottles and frappé glasses littering their favourite table.

  “Eve!” Ollie shouted, seeing her first. “You made it!”

  “What time do you call this?” Rhi enquired, laughing. “Dad’s closing up in five minutes.”

  Eve sensed Becca hesitating behind her. She reached out and took her hand, squeezing it tight.

  “Hi,” she said, smiling at her friends. “Becca, these are my friends. Guys? This is my girlfriend Becca.”

  Girlfriend. It felt nice, saying it out loud. She wanted to laugh at the look on Becca’s face. Becca truly hadn’t believed she would say it.

  Max’s jaw fell open. “Your what?”

  “You really must get your hearing aid checked out, Max,” said Lila, scrambling off Josh’s lap. “Hi Becca. Sorry we didn’t meet properly the other day.”

  Polly’s smile threatened to split her face in half. “That’s fantastic! I’m really pleased to meet you, Becca. We were wondering when Eve would find someone. This is my boyfriend Ollie, and that’s Lila, and…”

  Eve watched with pride as her friends drew Becca effortlessly among them, sitting her down at the table and apologizing for the mess and the fact that it was way to late to buy her anything to drink. She smiled deep into Becca’s eyes across the table. See, she wanted to say. I told you it would be OK. Maybe Becca believed her now.

  “Hey,” said Lila, squeezing Eve’s arm. “You’re a dark horse, aren’t you?”

  Eve gave her most matter-of-fact shrug. “I’ve had it with secrets and lies,” she said.

  “The laptop?” Lila said, cottoning on. “You handed it in?”

  “It’s in a locker at the railway station,” Eve replied. A new key was around her neck on the silver chain. “It was too late to find Daddy’s lawyer. I’m going to call him tomorrow and hand it over then. I told my father what I was going to do and I think he’s accepted it.”

  Lila’s face was filled with awe. “You’re so strong, Eve,” she said. “I don’t think I could have done that.”

  Eve glanced at Becca, talking and laughing now with Polly. “Becca makes me strong, I think,” she answered. “So do you. So do all of you. Except maybe Max, because he’s an idiot.”

  Lila giggled. “No arguments there. Eve, it’s really good to have you back.”

  “It’s good to be back,” Eve replied honestly.

  Life was never going to be the same, Eve knew. But she was fine with that. For the first time in ages, she was looking forward to something.

  It felt good.

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  First published in the UK by Scholastic Ltd, 2014

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