#TheBoyfriendDare

by Yesenia Vargas

  He had never sent me a longer message. And not one like this.

  I read it one more time, not believing it was real.

  Then that sinking feeling in my stomach came back, and I felt like throwing up. I closed my text messages, unable to reply. Not now.

  Maybe tonight… Ian wanted to fix this. It sounded like he had feelings for me too, but maybe I could convince him that being anything more than friends…wasn’t a good idea.

  I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want risk our friendship again. I didn’t want to let him down before his game. But hopefully, he’d understand. He said so right there that it was okay to just be friends, right?

  That’s what I would do.

  This whole kissing for realsies thing was no joke, and the thought of doing it again scared me more than the possibility of losing the state championship game. Even more than letting my team down.

  Nope.

  This dare had ruined all kinds of kissing for me, but especially kissing Ian.

  No matter how I felt about him.

  Tori put her water bottle down with a slam on the cafeteria table. “ARE YOU CRAZY?”

  I failed to meet her eyes, instead focusing on the cheesy nachos in front of me. “Uh…”

  This was not the reaction I had been expecting after telling the #BFFs about Ian’s 3am message.

  Harper bit her lip, looking kind of sheepish. Probably because she agreed with Tori.

  Ella put her hand on my arm. “Why haven’t you texted him back?”

  Rey crossed her arms, no longer interested in writing whatever she had been writing. “I want to know too.”

  All of a sudden, I felt like my mom was yelling at me for not taking out the trash like I was supposed to.

  Tori still didn’t seem happy, except she momentarily channeled her fury toward Rey. “Text him back? She needs to talk to him! Have a conversation.” She turned back to me, waiting for a response.

  I scoffed, annoyed with myself for not fibbing a little and letting them see I didn’t care about Ian as more than a friend. “Gee, thanks, Mom,” I teased, just a tad of annoyance slipping through in my voice. “I don’t want to, okay? I mean, yes, I’ll talk to him. But later, after the game. Or tomorrow. No need to get your pom-poms in a twist.”

  Harper pushed her tray away, clearly caring more about this situation than the half-eaten slice of pizza on her plate. “That’s fine, if all you want to be is friends. But I think we all know that’s not true, Lena. P.S. we love you, okay?”

  Ella nodded. “We’re on your side. Promise. But you’re cheating yourself and Ian by insisting that you don’t like him.”

  Tori popped a cherry tomato into her mouth. “I sense a little denial too.”

  Rey held back a smile, and I groaned. “Ughhhh, you guys are the worst,” I cried. But I knew they were right. “Just a day or two of denial, that’s all I ask.” I put my head in my hands. “Why do I let all of you guys’ goody goodness rub off on me…”

  At least that had them giggling.

  I sighed, the sinking feeling in my stomach improving a little. Which probably meant they were right.

  My dad’s words to me last night came back.

  The worst part was that they all made sense. My friends. My dad.

  I was strong, strong enough to tell Ian the complete truth and not freak out. Not run away or stay silent again.

  Just the thought of it made me want to hide, though.

  “I’m not like you guys,” I said, waving my arms. “I can’t just tell a guy how I feel.”

  Rey sighed. “You’re not the only one…”

  She used her journal to cover her face up to her eyes, and I gave her a side hug.

  “What would I do without you?” I said. “Finally, someone on my side.”

  Then she lowered her journal. “I still think you should tell Ian how you feel, though.”

  I took back my hug. “Rey….I thought we were cool,” I joked, pretend sad face on.

  She smiled. “I just think there are times in life where you only get one shot, you know? Better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all and all that. Don’t you think? I’m still trying to work up the courage myself, but seeing the mighty Lena do it would be a good nudge for me.” She winked, still waiting for me to say I would do it.

  Tori gave me a look like she knew she was right. Ella and Harper at least had the decency to look sympathetic.

  I sighed, knowing when I had lost a battle. “Fiiine,” I said, drawing out the word for like ten seconds.

  Tori leaned in. “You know what you gotta do. Go after him, Lena. Tell him how you feel. For real.”

  Harper nodded. “He obviously feels the same way, girl.”

  Ella said, “Yep. I concur.”

  I doubted that Ian felt the same way after I’d blown off his text message. “Obviously? I don’t know about obviously…” But that weird feeling was back.

  Tori crossed her arms. “Come on, where’s the brave and daring Lena we know? The one who would take on any dare without the blink of an eye?”

  “Hello!” I cried. “I’m in this situation thanks to a dare. Besides, there are real feelings involved now, okay?? Kissing for fun was easy. This is not.”

  That had all of them laughing again and Rey wrapping her arm around me again but also laughing.

  Part of me wanted to cry. Part of me wanted to just run away and maybe change schools.

  But I knew my friends were right. I had to tell Ian my truth.

  So many chances to tell him how I really felt about him, and I hadn’t had the courage to do it. Well, it was time to muster up some.

  In truth or dare, I had always gone with dare. Dare was easy. Fun. Crazy.

  Truth was hard. Letting someone in? Hard. Telling someone you like like them? Scary.

  Meeting Ian’s eyes and telling him it had been real for me too? Just thinking about it made me want to panic.

  I looked at the #BFFs. “What if it doesn’t work out? What if he says—”

  Ella took my hand. “Whatever happens, you’ll be okay.”

  Harper said, “We’re with you either way.”

  Rey opened up her journal again. “You won’t know until you try, Lena.”

  Tori came around and gave me a quick hug from behind. “You got this,” she said softly.

  I swallowed the lump in my throat, pushing back tears and determined to make a joke. “Gosh, Tori. You sure know how to dish out the tough love, huh?”

  Twenty-Five

  Lena: Are you guys sure I shouldn’t wait to tell him until AFTER the game? What if we have another fight and we lose because of it?

  I hid in one of the bathroom stalls in the locker room and waited for a response from the #BFFs. Katie and the rest of the girls were already busy warming up out on the soccer field.

  I’d assured them I’d be right out, and they’d asked me if I was okay, if I needed some Advil or something. I’d finally convinced them to leave. After promising that there wouldn’t be a repeat of that one game.

  We still had some time before the game, and I could have just saved my talk with Ian for tonight.

  But the #BFFs were pushing me to talk to him now.

  And another, more important reason I needed to stop being so chicken and confront him?

  He hadn’t been doing so well.

  I knew for a fact he’d been tardy this morning, missed most of first period. Looked like a zombie. He hadn’t even shown up for lunch, and the varsity boys’ team was worried about him.

  And understandably so. One of the big reasons they had made it to the state championship game tonight was thanks to Ian. He’d easily blocked a dozen or more goals this season, and there was no way they would win tonight if he was not on top of his game.

  Chris had already pleaded with me before fourth period, to talk to Ian, maybe give him a little encouragement. Then he’d winked, and I had rolled my eyes and walked off.

  But I knew they were all right. I couldn’t let Ian
go on and cost the team a big victory like this because he didn’t know the truth. Because I was too scared to tell him the truth.

  So despite the nudges and pushes from Tori, Ella, Harper, and Rey, what really convinced me to step out of the locker room and head to where I knew Ian would be hanging out before the game was that. Ian.

  I knew how much winning this game would mean to him, and I didn’t want him to miss out on it due to what was happening between us.

  The truth was I liked him more than ever, and if it meant putting myself out there and possibly getting rejected because I’d done this too late, then so be it.

  I saw his lone figure at the very top of the bleachers on the other side of the field where the varsity girls were practicing. Katie waved to me, but I kept walking toward Ian, my hands shoved inside the front pocket of my hoodie.

  One by one, I climbed the steps of the metal bleachers to the top. Ian sat on the second to top row, leaning back and resting his feet on the row below him.

  He had his warm-ups on, which meant he was in his sweats and hoodie. The air was chilly, but the sun was shining, and I took that as a good sign for what I was about to do.

  Either the weird turn our friendship had taken the last several weeks would finally be fixed, one way or another.

  Or this might be the end of everything.

  The closer I got to the top of the bleachers, the more my heart pounded, the more my legs felt like bags of sand, and I felt like throwing up.

  But I kept climbing anyway, my eyes fixed on Ian.

  He must have been listening to his playlist on high volume because he didn’t hear me come up. He’d been staring off in the other direction, at the sky. When I was just a few feet away, he finally snapped his head in my direction.

  Usually, his eyes lit up when he saw me and he smiled, just effortlessly.

  Today, he didn’t. He sat up, pulled out his earbuds, and waited for me to say something. His eyes questioned why I was there, his mouth parted slightly, and I ached for his grin.

  “Hey,” I said, sitting down next to him. He scooted away a little, giving me room, I was sure, but it felt more like there was a wall between us, and I couldn’t get past it.

  I was ready to tear it down, no matter how scary it would be.

  He glanced at me than stared down at his phone. “Hey,” he said quietly.

  “Sorry if I…” my voice trailed off. I coughed, trying to get my jumbled thoughts together.

  His eyes met mine. “It’s okay.”

  I exhaled, wondering how to start.

  We stared at the girls and guys down below. Passing, shooting, sitting on the grass. Laughing and playing.

  Usually, this was our spot before a home game. Listen to music together. Eventually climb down and join the others. Stretch, practice a little as the stands began to fill up.

  Today, it felt like I was sitting with a stranger.

  I opened my mouth to finally say something because sooner or later Coach was going to make us climb down and warm up. “Ian, I—”

  “Lena—” he began at the same time.

  We turned to face each other. My eyes automatically went to his mouth, and I remembered what it felt like to get lost in a kiss with him.

  Why did it feel like so long ago?

  He opened his mouth to talk again, but I raised my hand and pressed a finger against his lips. “Me first.”

  I took my hand back, and he stayed silent. Meanwhile, inside my chest, my heart raced.

  I willed myself to take a deep breath and not rush what I wanted to say. “Ian, I, uh…” I swallowed the rising nausea in my throat and made myself look him in the eyes. “I need you to know that what we had…was real for me too. I just…was too much of a chicken to say it before. I let you walk away thinking I didn’t see you as more than a friend, and I should have said something.” I paused for half a second. “I know—maybe you just want to stay friends and put all of this behind us, but I want you—”

  Ian stopped me, his hand squeezing mine. “Lena, you don’t even know how long I’ve been in love with you,” Ian said. Then something weird happened. He began laughing, and I stared at him like a doofus trying to comprehend what he had just said.

  “What?” I asked, incredulous.

  But I was so happy his smile was back, and the more I understood what he had just said, the bigger my smile grew too.

  Was this really happening? Or was I dreaming?

  This had to be a dream.

  He glanced down then back at me. “I just was always so afraid to tell you. I mean…I thought it would freak you out and you’d stop talking to me or something. So I kind of gave up on you, tried to stop seeing you that way. I mean, why would you ever see me as more than just a friend?” His face fell a little. “Then I started going out with Bethany.”

  Ian went on, shaking his head. “What happened with Bethany at Homecoming? It was stupid. I only danced with her because she insisted and she said her date ditched her. I felt bad for her. Then she kissed me out of nowhere. But I was looking for you, Lena. You’re the one I wanted to dance with. I wanted us to dance all night.”

  “Really?” I said, sure I had the most idiotic grin on my face. “Why didn’t you ever say anything about how you felt…”

  He came in closer, his hand still on mine. “I could tell you didn’t feel the same way.”

  I looked away, knowing he was right. I hadn’t thought of him like that until a few weeks into the dare.

  He went on. “I just didn’t dare tell you and mess up what we had. You’re not like other girls,” he said. “I didn’t want to be another guy you kissed for fun.”

  I looked at him again, still attempting to process what he was saying

  He shrugged. “Before…just wasn’t the right time. Then we did the dare, and I realized I still felt the same way about you. It wasn’t just a dare anymore, you know?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I just…couldn’t believe it. And I didn’t want to mess this up either. The thought of us not being friends anymore…”

  “I was okay with us not being friends,” Ian said. That made me look up. “I wanted to be more.”

  Then he leaned in until his mouth was on mine. My eyes closed on their own, and I let everything else disappear. All I wanted to think about was Ian and the way his lips moved against mine. My hands went around his neck, pulling him in closer, while his arms settled around my waist.

  What could have been either five seconds or five minutes later, he pulled away slightly. “You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” he confessed.

  Then I laughed and pulled him in close for a hug. “I missed you,” I whispered.

  He hugged me back, and I sighed and closed my eyes, letting my head rest on his shoulder. “I missed you too.”

  Then he kissed my forehead, and I wished we could stay like that forever.

  However, the sounds of cheers and whoops from down below had us pulling apart.

  We turned to the soccer field to find both the boys’ and girls’ varsity soccer teams screaming and jumping up and down not too far away.

  Chris bellowed, “It was about time you two kissed and made up!”

  I turned to Ian, and we laughed.

  From across the field, Coach came out of the boys’ locker room, where his office was, and blew his whistle. “You two lovebirds get down here and start warming up!”

  When we stepped onto the grass, Chris came up to me and gave us a hug. Katie and the girls hugged me too.

  Chris said, “Finally! We have a real chance of winning this thing now.”

  Twenty-Six

  The girls played first.

  Maybe because I had been practicing my butt off or maybe because I was still kind of high from the adrenaline of kissing Ian earlier, but I played like never before, making an impossible pass to Katie who then made a goal. All during the first ten minutes of the game.

  It was a tough team, though, and they didn’t let us make another easy goa
l. Almost like we had awoken a hibernating, very aggressive bear. But we wanted this too. And we weren’t going to let them score if we could help it.

  Toward the end of the second half, their best forward kicked the ball hard toward the right lower corner. It was a good shot, one our goalie just couldn’t stop. Just like that, we were suddenly tied. Which meant victory could easily go either way.

  We had to score another goal, or we wouldn’t walk away with a state championship trophy.

  The more the game went on and the sun went down, the more the bleachers filled up with students, parents, and teachers who’d shown up to support the school.

  The screams of my friends reached me. Tori, Ella, Harper, and Rey stood up and cheered the whole time, sign and all. Tori had even brought her pom-poms for good measure.

  With just fifteen minutes left in the game, I blew them a kiss.

  From the bleachers, Mr. Barry also watched. Thinking about him too much made me nervous. Sometimes he jotted notes; other times, he just crossed his arms and watched. I reminded myself to forget about him and focus on the ball, on the opposing players around me.

  Soccer was all about finding the right opportunity. I just had to find mine.

  There.

  A girl from the other team messed up a pass, kicking it too far my way.

  I reached it before her teammate. Dribbled it the opposite direction toward the goal, keeping an eye out for defenders.

  Barely dodged one. Almost tripped. Heard Katie’s scream of “Open!” as she ran toward the goal several feet away.

  A couple of defenders ran toward me, and I kicked the ball across to Katie. My lungs screamed for me to slow down and breathe, but I pushed myself to run faster and help Katie out. She maneuvered the ball this way and that, keeping it out of reach of the other team, but she couldn’t keep that up for much longer. She searched for someone to pass to.

  “Katie!” I screamed. In the background, I was pretty sure everyone in the bleachers was screaming their heads off, but the sounds seemed far away. Even though I was sprinting like my life depended on it, everything happened in slow motion. My heart pounded in my ears, the rest of the world silent.