Barbarian's Beloved

by Ruby Dixon

  “We can go back,” I tell her when she winces at my next kill—a hissing snow-cat who has nearly torn off its own leg to break free of my trap. “You do not have to be part of this.”

  “No, it’s okay,” she tells me, her voice faint. “I need to see. If this is my home now, I need to understand. I’m fine. I swear.”

  She does not look fine, but I do not argue. I finish with the snow-cat and then haul it over my shoulder. This one will go to the nearest cache.

  My mate jogs behind me, her breath puffing. “Question.”

  “Eh?” I turn to look at her. “What is it?”

  “You didn’t set a trap up on that ridge?” She points off into the horizon, where there is a cluster of low bushes peeking out from a veil of snow. “You’ve set traps in several other bushy areas. How come not there?”

  I grin at her and lean in, giving her adorably small nose a poke. “Because it is high and I do not like heights.”

  She giggles, and the giggle turns into a squeal of horror. “Your hands are filthy!”

  “Of course they are. Did you not see me slit the throat of this beast? It does not bleed fresh, pure snow.”

  Air-ee gags. “I can’t believe you touched me with that finger. Now my entire face is probably covered with germs.”

  I do not know what a germ is, but her outrage is charming. “If I wash my hands between every kill, I will spend more time washing than hunting. But I will wash my hands at the next stream just to please you.” The wind whips my long mane into my face. I go to push it away but my mate makes a sound of horror at my dirty hands.

  “Let me,” Air-ee says. “Kneel down and I’ll fix it for you.”

  I do as she asks, mostly because I am amused at this fierce, bossy side of her. Her hands are gentle as she pulls my thick mane back from my horns, where it tangles around them, and then continues to comb it back with her fingers. “Can I braid this for you?”

  I do so sometimes, but it always snarls and falls apart because I am impatient and do not properly weave it. “If you like.”

  Her cool fingers stroke against my scalp and I close my eyes, enjoying the feel of her touch. My khui hums an insistent song at her nearness, and I can hear hers calling out in return. I like this, though. I like my mate fussing over me. It is a small thing, but so enjoyable.

  “Do you have a hair tie of some kind?” Her voice is low and husky, and I can tell she is thinking about mating. I like that. I like that just touching me makes her want more than just toying with my mane.

  “In my pouch I have leather scraps.” I normally keep them for fixing spearheads while I am out on the trails, but this will work just as well.

  “Don’t move,” she tells me and then puts the tip of my long braid between her lips as she kneels on the ground next to me and digs in my pouch.

  Strangely enough, the sight of her with my braid in her mouth makes my cock hard as stone. It is difficult to concentrate on remaining still for her, especially when her hands brush against me inside the pouch. She finds what she seeks, though, and then ties back the tip of my braid. “All done. How’s it feel?”

  The only feeling I have at the moment is my cock, and it aches. But I obligingly swing my head, testing the braid, and find that it is light and unobtrusive. “Very pleasant. I like it.”

  Air-ee beams at me. “I can do it for you every time if you like. It’s a French braid. It’ll keep your hair out of your face better than your regular braid.”

  Is she thinking about her future with me, then? I am pleased. I picture mornings together, making love under the furs, then drinking tea and her braiding my mane back before sending me on my way to hunt with a kiss. It is such a pleasant image that I feel a fierce sense of longing sweep over me. I have never thought about family much. Mine died during the khui sickness when I was barely of age to be a hunter. I have always had my friends that I shared a hunter’s cave with, and work to keep me busy. I have never minded being alone…

  But now I find that I have something—and someone—to come back to, and the thought of a cave with my Air-ee at my side fills me with joy and yearning both. “I would enjoy that very much.”

  I love her happy, shy smile and the way she looks at me so warmly.

  Perhaps tonight we will fulfill resonance and I will claim her as mine. I think we have waited long enough, and last night’s play has only whetted my appetite for more. I can hardly wait to return and reclaim our little cave tonight.

  As if her thoughts are the same as mine, my mate gets to her feet and dusts off her leggings. “Shall we go, then? I’m not completely traumatized yet, so I assume we’re not done.”

  “Traum-tize. That is a big human word,” I muse as I stand once more.

  “It means watching you kill my dinner makes me sad.”

  “Not as sad as no dinner,” I tell her and sling my kills back over my shoulder again. “I have experienced that and it is a much, much sadder thing.”

  “And now I feel like a whiner,” she says cheerfully. “All right, lead on. Let’s get all the slaughtering over with.”

  “All the slaughtering makes tasty meals.”

  “If you say so. I think I still prefer a ShopRite. That’s a grocery store. All the meat comes in hermetically sealed, blood-free packages.”

  I grunt. “I do not understand how you get the prey to stand still long enough to package it.”

  She giggles and nudges me. “God, you are cute.”

  When we return to the Elders’ Cave at dusk, there are many standing outside near one of the fires. I see Vektal talking to someone, his back to me.

  “What’s going on?” Air-ee asks, and slips her gloved hand back into mine. After the last hand-washing at a stream, she bundled up and her teeth have chattered and clacked with a chill. “Is s-something wrong?”

  I hear a boisterous laugh and as Haeden moves away from the group, I see Pashov. He has his arm around his smiling mate’s shoulders. “Pashov and his female have returned.”

  That means we will leave in the morning for the home cave and reunite with the tribe.

  My Air-ee stiffens next to me and I can feel the worry roll over her. She knows what this means. “What about Liz and that other guy, though?”

  “Raahosh?” I shake my head. “He is stubborn and wily. They will not be back until he is ready to return her. We will not wait for them.”

  “Oh. I guess that means we’re leaving.”

  She is far too clever, my mate. “In the morning, yes.”

  I feel the tremble move through her body and I suspect it is not just the cold. It is her mind-avalanche, working itself up.

  I squeeze her hand to remind her that I am here. That I have her and will not leave her side. “It will be all right.”

  Air-ee looks up at me and nods absently. “It has to happen at some point.” But she does not seem enthusiastic.

  Mating will have to wait, I decide. My Air-ee will need her sleep for traveling tomorrow. Resonance is not nearly as important as her strength. I tell myself that over and over again, but it still takes time for my khui to heed this.

  I am the most patient hunter ever, I think. My cock has suffered long and my khui is ferociously angry at me. But Air-ee is all that matters. Everything else can wait.

  18

  ARIANA

  Zolaya doesn’t touch me that night. We kiss a little, but then he tucks me against his chest and tells me I should sleep. That it will be a hard day’s travel back to the home cave and I’ll need my strength.

  Secretly, I think he’s being extra careful with me so I don’t lose it.

  Secretly, I don’t blame him.

  I haven’t exactly been the most stable of women since he met me. And tonight I took some of the calming tea just before bed because I’ve been a little on edge. Stacy got lasered right after she and Pashov returned, so everyone spent most of the evening preparing to head to the home cave. Most are excited to see what our new home will look like. To meet the rest of the tribe. To

stop traveling and have a place to call home.

  Me, I’m just anxious that there’s going to be an entirely new set of people and another social dynamic. Anxious people don’t like change, and there’s been nothing but change lately in my life. Big, impossible to ignore change. I’ll get through it. I have no choice. But it doesn’t mean that my mind isn’t whirling a mile a minute, coming up with all kinds of terrible scenarios.

  What if we get to the home cave and there’s no room for us?

  What if we get there and no one likes me?

  What if we get there and Zolaya acts different?

  What if we get there and there’s no privacy and no place for us to have a home of our own?

  What if we get there and we stop resonating?

  What if he can’t get me pregnant and then he stops wanting to be with me and then I’m the weird rejected human woman? What do I do then?

  What if, what if, what if?

  My brain is such an asshole. I start to calm down and it fires a new, frightening scenario at me.

  I do my best to sleep, to rest and put these thoughts out of my mind, but my unquiet mind won’t let me relax. I’m too wound up about tomorrow and all the things that could go wrong. Zolaya will be at my side, of course, but these are his people. This is his world and all he’s ever had. If I don’t fit in…I’m the problem.

  And my anxiety isn’t going to let me forget that.

  19

  ZOLAYA

  It takes most of a day to travel what should have taken a leisurely afternoon. Some of the humans are wounded. Others are slow. And some, like my Air-ee, are quietly panicking. Some of the hunters get frustrated with our slow progress, and most of the females do not notice such a thing. My mate notices, though. She is finely attuned to the moods of others, and when Haeden makes an irritated grunt in his throat, she flinches. When Vektal encourages the others to pick up the pace, her sweaty hand seeks mine.

  I want to reassure her that it will be all right, but I know words do not help. There is no time to sit and breathe together, as we have the last few nights. We must keep walking, but it frustrates me to see her sink deeper into her unhappy thoughts until I can tell she is on the verge of splintering. It is obvious in her eyes, in the sharp breaths she draws.

  “Are you all right?” I ask. “Do you need to stop?”

  “I’m fine.” Her gaze darts to the others and she flushes when one of the other females glances curiously in her direction. “I can keep going.”

  I know she hates to be a bother, but this does not make me happy. She needs time to rest or her mind-avalanche will grow worse and worse. I grow more and more concerned, and when Vektal glances around at the trailing herd of new tribesmates, I signal him. “We wish to stop,” I call out. “Let us rest for a bit.”

  Shorshie looks over and her gaze lands on my mate. Others stare, too.

  Air-ee yanks her hand out of mine, horrified. “What? No! I’m fine. We’re fine!”

  The chief pauses, watching me, and then indicates to the tribe that we should rest. “We will take one more break before we make it to the home cave.”

  “A break? Now?” Haeden sounds irritated. “It is just over the next ridge.”

  “The females are tired.” Vektal’s expression is unyielding as he slides his pack off his shoulder and offers a hand to his mate so she can sit down on it. “It is just over the next ridge, so a few more minutes do not matter.”

  Haeden harrumphs and paces away, even as the other females set down their things and rest in the snow.

  I turn to my mate, slinging my pack off my arm. Her hand is still in mine, but the look she gives me is tight and upset. Her gaze flicks from me to the others in the tribe. “I can’t believe you just did that,” she whispers to me.

  “You need to rest.”

  She jerks her hand out of my grip and crosses her arms over her chest. “I could have lasted a bit longer—”

  “No.”

  “Now everyone’s staring at me.” Her voice wobbles a little and her cheeks are red.

  Is she embarrassed? I am surprised. I thought she would be glad. “Why would they stare?” I glance around and she is not wrong, the others are doing their best to look-but-not-look, averting their eyes when I gaze in their direction. It is clear that Air-ee is the object of much speculation though.

  I begin to get uncomfortable. Perhaps I did do wrong. “I told them we both needed to rest,” I protest. “I did not say you.”

  The look on her face is full of disbelief. “No one’s going to think you’re the reason we’re stopping, Zolaya. You just made me look weak in front of everyone.” Her face crumples and then she starts to weep. “Fuck, and now I’m weeping again. I’m not sad, I’m pissed and I can’t stop crying.” She swipes at her face, her movements quick with frustration.

  I reach for her.

  She snatches her hand away. “Just leave me alone, please. I need to compose myself.”

  I bite back my own growl of frustration because this is ridiculous. “Air-ee, let me help you.”

  “No,” she whispers, clenching her fists in front of her. “I told you I didn’t want to draw attention to us and what do you do? I can’t believe you did this to me.” She presses her fists to her forehead. “Just please…leave me alone for a few minutes, all right? I know I’m overreacting, but if you keep trying to talk to me, it’s just going to get worse.”

  I frown, watching as she paces away a few steps from the group. Leave her alone? I cannot. I look at the other females, and sure enough, they are staring and whispering to one another. They have seen my mate cry and get upset, and now they will think badly of her. She is right in that I have made a mistake.

  I do not know what to do to fix it.

  She has told me repeatedly that she does not want the others to know of her problems. That she wants them to not think of her as odd or troubled. She does not like attention brought to her or her weeping. I grit my teeth in frustration, because I know I have caused a problem.

  If only I could sweep her away into my arms once more and kiss her until she forgot about everything but me. Until the tears dried in her eyes and she smiled once more. I do not know how to be a mate to her. I am failing and her tears claw at my spirit, making me feel as if I have wounded her. It would be so much easier if I just took her into my arms like I did the other night and carried her off somewhere where we could have a few moments alone until she was ready to rejoin the others in the tribe.

  I pause.

  Why should I not do just that?

  The others will laugh, of course. The females will titter that I have dragged my mate away to take her to my furs. The other hunters will smirk that I am not able to control myself. But the attention will be on me and not her, just as it was the other night.

  I rub my chin, contemplating. This might embarrass her more. She might fight me and the others might step in, thinking I aim to upset her. My chief will think I’m a fool who cannot control his cock. I glance over at my mate, who faces away from the group, her back to me. Her shoulders are stiff and as I watch, she raises a hand to her cheeks, swiping away at more tears. No one comes to talk to her. No one knows how to comfort her.

  But I do.

  My course decided, I march across the snow to my chief’s side and clap his shoulder. “I can wait no longer,” I tell him. “I am taking my mate to our cave so we can have privacy.”

  Vektal gives me a puzzled look. “You were the one that called for a rest.”

  “I did. I changed my mind.” I move to my mate and grab her by the waist. Air-ee gives a startled, choked cry and her arms flail, smacking me across the face as I sling her over my shoulder. I give my chief one last grin and then jog away with my mate squirming over my arm.

  Laughter fills the little encampment.

  “Did he really just take her away—”

  “I think so—”

  “Someone can’t keep it in his pants—”

  Good. Let them focus on me and my shortcomings. When Air-ee squawks like a wounded scythe-beak, I smack her bottom to quiet her. “I am taking you away to seduce you, my mate. Try to stay still.”

  “Seduce me?” One small fist hammers against my back. “I swear, I am going to kick your butt when you set me down. Are you crazy?”

  “No. I am getting you away from the others.” And I continue across the landscape. Haeden is not wrong; it is a short walk to the home cave. We will be there before the suns move a knuckle’s width in the sky. Once there, we can claim a cave as our own. A storage cave will be empty already, I think. One of those will suit me just fine, so long as we have privacy.

  She sputters again. “They are going to think you are crazy!”

  “You are not wrong,” I agree cheerfully. At least now they are thinking I am the problem and not Air-ee, though. I am quite happy with this. I caress her bottom, because it is delightfully close to my face with her over my shoulder like this. “Be still and practice your breathing. We will be home soon, and I will take you directly to a private cave.”

  I can feel her stiffen. “What about meeting the others—”

  “It can wait until you and I are good.” On this, I am firm. She is not being introduced to everyone else until she is calmer and less anxious. I want the avalanche in her head to go away first. And I know that when I lick her cunt until she comes, she becomes languid and happy. Content.

  I will just have to lick her cunt until that happens, and then she can meet the others. I like this plan. It is a good one, and we will both be pleasantly happy with the outcome.

  Proud of myself, I pick up the pace even as I head down the now-familiar trails toward the home cave. The snow is less deep here, the trails hard packed from many boots moving up and down them regularly. The scent of smoke is faint on the air, but it is there and it fills me with a sense of pleasure. Almost home. I cannot wait for my mate to come to enjoy the close-knit family that is our tribe. In time, I think, she will.

  -->