Quiver

by Lisa Borne Graves

  “Where do we begin?” Zeus mused, drumming his fingertips on the desk. “Perhaps with what happened on Friday.”

  I sighed and then told him everything. The truth was the only way to get anywhere with Zeus. I told him my strong feelings, how much I loved Callie, how I had to protect her, that I had given Thanatos ample opportunities to back down. I explained how I had been prepared to defend her no matter what but never wanted to kill. I had felt forced to do it.

  When I finished, Zeus sighed and said, “But I explicitly told you that I did not want you to get attached to that particular mortal. I allowed you time to have your fun with her and discard her, not fall in love with her.” He shook his head as if I’d breached some deal we had drawn up.

  I wondered for a moment what deal my father had made to get me more time.

  Athena jumped in to my defense. “Let me remind you, Zeus, how much of a shock it was to hear you’d ordered the mortals’ deaths without a second warning. Plus, Hypnos was keeping Aphrodite, Ares, and Apollo asleep, from the sounds of it. It was an intentional, covert, and planned mission. Very unjust and unlike you. We should have discussed this, come to a compromise. The mere and sudden surprise to be forced to part with someone he has attached himself to defends his rash actions. If he had been prepared to let go, had a stern order from you, a direct conversation, then perhaps we would not be here.”

  “Noted Athena.” Zeus scowled at her. “I thought my thunder peals were enough of an order. He was trying to lie with her.”

  I felt my face burn; I should’ve been used to not having privacy, for Zeus sees everything we do. According to what my dad had said, that might not be true anymore.

  “And you seemed extremely eager to prevent that,” my father cut in, pushing the interrogation back onto Zeus. “Why is that?”

  Zeus simply glared at my father, and the silence grew stiflingly awkward.

  “What Ares is trying to point out, Father, is that if we knew why you dislike and prohibit him from this specific mortal, then we may better understand your wrath,” Athena said.

  “Zeus, he’s an obedient boy. If he had known why, he would have obeyed,” Ma chimed in, trying to wheedle him with a coy look. Mortals might fall victim to my mother’s charms, but Zeus wasn’t buying it.

  I bit my tongue to prevent myself from bursting out with the truth that I never would’ve given up Callie. Even if she would bring the end of my existence, I would never leave her. She had become as necessary as the air mortals need to breathe.

  “How I feel about a particular peon is none of your business. The point is, I wanted Eros to leave her alone. I wished her to remain ignorant of our secrets, and she wouldn’t stop meddling until she found you out. This knowledge is enough for me to execute her without warning. I want her dead, and I did not want him procreating with and creating another creature like her.” He paused and cleared his throat. “But enough about her. Eros killed an immortal being to protect his plaything, and I still want her silenced. Before I decide on a punishment and make my verdict, I want to see all of you privately, beginning with Eros.”

  Zeus dismissed everyone else, which made me nervous. I swallowed the large lump that was forming in my throat.

  “What do you want, child?” Zeus asked me. His tone was softer, and his eyes sympathetic. He transformed into my grandfather right before my eyes, caring, loving, the man I had idolized growing up.

  My instincts warned me it was a trick. “What do you mean?”

  “This is called negotiating, Eros. I do forget that you rarely get yourself in trouble. At this stage, you tell me your wishes, I present mine, and then we reach a compromise, a few options we can both live with,” he said in a pedantic voice, treating me like an ignorant child. Something was wrong. Underneath his feigned sincerity, I sensed he was more than merely mad at me. It was a seething anger he was holding back. Not a good sign. I would get no compromise.

  “I want Callie to live,” I said quietly.

  “Is that all?”

  “I don’t want to push my luck.” I finally dared to meet his gaze. His face was blank, merely trying to read my own expression. I wondered how I looked: ashamed, depressed, desperate, afraid—I’m sure they were all clear on my face.

  “Try me,” he said simply.

  “I want her made immortal,” I ventured, awaiting an outburst. “I want to spend eternity with her.”

  “I’ve heard this all before.” Zeus rolled his eyes, telling me I was foolish. Just because he was too damn cold-blooded to truly love someone else didn’t mean we were all victim to the godly indifference for others he exuded.

  “It’s different this time. Look, Grandpa, I never ask many favors. I’ve been obedient for all my existence. I know I’ve done wrong, and I feel terrible about it. The guilt is overwhelming. I’ve hurt many, especially Hypnos.” I tried to persuade him. I did feel terrible. It was true that very few of us would miss Thanatos. He was Death after all and relished too much in his role, but his brother, Hypnos, god of sleep, would miss him dearly.

  Zeus’s face remained stoically unconvinced, so I continued, “But I’ve had my losses too, without any retribution to other immortals. Let me add, a few of our kind could be implicated in their deaths, but I did not point fingers or seek revenge. No matter how Psyche turned out, she didn’t deserve to die. And my daughter, Hedone…” Her name was so hard for me to say. “…you were fond of her. She was my world—you remember, after her death, I could barely go on. It’s taken me over five hundred years to fully grieve, to enjoy living again. Callie is the reason I’m happy again, that I thrive and exist. If I could get what I want, I would begin a life with Callie, have a family again.” I had said more than I wished. I had given too much away, but by showing him how important Callie was to me, I hoped it would persuade him to allow her to live.

  “Why this mortal?”

  “I don’t know. I feel so intensely and did so instantly. I had no choice in the matter, as if someone used my arrows against me. I’m irrevocably drawn to her.”

  “Eros,” Zeus said with a sigh.

  Whatever he said, I wouldn’t want to hear. I braced myself, pushing my temper down so I wouldn’t react.

  “What I would prefer is for this girl to cease existing. Just as you are irrevocably drawn to her, as you say, I’m irrevocably annoyed by her presence. She is a threat to us. If she must live, because you’ve made it clear that it’s your greatest wish, then I’d rather her procreate with another mortal, not a god. Second, her father must be silenced ASAP.”

  I tried not to flinch when I thought about how much Callie’s father’s death would hurt her, when Zeus discussed her death with ease, and when I envisioned her marrying and raising a family with another man. My stomach dropped at the thought. Zeus was going to make me give her up. I felt weak and sick. I couldn’t protest because the worst punishment, the option he wanted, was her death.

  “I will consider your wishes with my own. You’re dismissed. Send Athena in.” And with that comment, he waved his hand to dismiss me.

  I stood up, my head spinning. Had I told him too much? By giving him so much, would he take more from me? Had I begged too far? Would he use my wishes against me? The only thing I was positive about was that Callie obviously must live.

  The verdict did not come in that day. Zeus had heard from them all. Despite her jealousy, even Aroha admitted Callie must live. Athena agreed that it was unjust to kill a human without probable cause, particularly since I had singled her out as my mortal. All four of us demanded that. Surely, Zeus would listen. It all depended on the verdict, the options Zeus would present to me.

  It had been over two days since I had slept or eaten anything. I lay in bed for hours with my eyes closed, unable to sleep. Back in New York, it was still daytime, the end of the morning if my calculation was correct. If it all went wrong, it could be the last time I ever heard Callie’s voice. But I had no idea what to tell her. It would hurt to tell her it all might be hopeless, that
my promise to come back might be broken. She wouldn’t understand that I couldn’t disobey Zeus. She would ask too many questions, perceive too much. She would cry. I couldn’t deal with that in the state of mind I was in.

  I lay there until the sun rose high in the sky, which made me think of my best friend, who was with her right now. Masochist that I am, I called her. Lucien answered. Callie was in the hospital, sick. I hung up, feeling utterly helpless. What was the point of being a god, a divine being with supernatural powers, if I couldn’t be with the woman I loved, to nurse her when she was ill?

  I went down to Zeus’s office. I didn’t knock, but burst in to see Athena and Zeus having an intense discussion. Zeus gave me an odd look, which made me worry about what was to come.

  “I need to go back to New York.” It came out a bit more demanding than I had intended.

  “Absolutely not.” Zeus motioned for me to sit down. Athena did as well. Zeus sat on the edge of his desk, intimidatingly looming over us.

  “Callie is ill. In the hospital.”

  “And you are being punished, so no. You are to stay put. She’ll pull through with Thanatos gone and Apollo there to heal her.” Zeus looked like he enjoyed the news and my pain.

  I looked to Athena, my rational aunt. Her normally stoic countenance was looking at me with a pained expression. What had they been talking about before I burst in?

  “What’s wrong?”

  “You look awful.” Athena leaned over and took my face in her hands, a loving gesture unlike her standoffish nature. “Zeus, he’s wasting away.”

  Zeus hit the intercom on his office phone. “Hebe, bring me a bottle of ambrosia and three glasses.” Hebe was my full aunt, meaning Dad’s sister and Zeus and Hera’s other child. Besides Zeus, she was the only one who could access ambrosia. But she would never disobey Zeus, so any ideas of pleading with her to help me make Callie immortal disappeared as soon as they began.

  “I don’t want any. What is the verdict?” I sat down only because I was too weak to stand. The last thing I wanted was ambrosia for myself.

  “Still negotiating, Eros,” Zeus said.

  Hebe entered with a tray, her youthful face vibrant and cheery as always. In my mood, I wanted to wipe that smile off her face. As soon as she left, Zeus directed his attention to me.

  “Drink,” he said, pouring me a champagne glass of ambrosia.

  My mind focused on the size of the bottle of ambrosia. Even after he poured three glasses, there was one more left in the bottle. If only I could get it to Callie…

  “It’s not a request, but an order.” Zeus pushed the glass even closer to me.

  I drank down the delicious elixir. It reached every nerve in my body and strengthened every fiber of my being. I instantly felt more alert, stronger, and healthier than before. The hunger vanished, and I felt well rested. Too bad ambrosia didn’t improve moods. My mind instantly went back to a smuggling plan.

  “First punishment is nonnegotiable. You will choose three hybreeds to make into gods. You have brought it to my attention that we have lost a few immortals here and there, with what happened to your family and your recent crime. One will replace Thanatos as the new god of death, a second will be Hypnos’s companion or mate—as your charitable act of asking his forgiveness—and the last will be your companion to prevent any more of your mischief. However, none of them can be your beloved Callie, her father, or any of her descendants in the future. Is that clear?”

  “Yes, Grandpa.” Nonnegotiable? And he had claimed we were in negotiations. He’d thought of every loophole as well. Only, in his punishment, he gave something away: he assumed Callie had a chance at immortality, meaning he was aware she was a demigod.

  Athena recorded everything, typing like a fiend on her laptop. It distracted me. The gears in my mind switched to what the next punishment could be. I awaited his words, my fear growing worse as he took a moment to thoughtfully sip on his ambrosia. He was stalling on purpose.

  “The second is a choice, Eros, and I do not expect an answer right away. You can have Callie for one full year, no rules or interference from me, but after that full year, she is to be destroyed. She is not to be made immortal, and if a child happens to be born in that year, it is to die with its mother.”

  My stomach lurched, and I forced the bile back down. Only one year? Destroyed like she was a condemned building, not a living being? I wanted to protest, to pick up the chair I sat on and smash it over his head for suggesting such a horrid compromise. Instead, I kept my poker face frozen in place and simply asked, “What is my other option?”

  “To never see her again. She will remain alive for the duration of her mortal life as long as you never see her again, no other god mates with her, and she never tells another mortal about us,” Zeus concluded.

  I swallowed hard. The choice was painfully obvious: Callie must live. “I’ve made my decision.” I had to see it through before I changed my mind.

  “Take some time to think about it.” Zeus was nervous. He was afraid of the choice I would make. He was depending on my history of being spoiled, which meant he wanted Callie dead.

  “I don’t need time.” I pressed forward, trying not to think about what I was agreeing to.

  “I insist,” Zeus hissed. “You drink your ambrosia, go eat something, and sleep.” It was a direct order.

  I didn’t want him to change his mind for the worse, so I drank the ambrosia, then went to the hotel restaurant with my parents and ate some food. I went up to my room and lay in bed, pretending to sleep in case I was being watched.

  “Wake up, Archer,” Ma said. She was shaking me.

  I felt as if I had sand in my eyes, and I wiped them vigorously until I could see. “What time is it?” The sun was still up, but I felt fully rested.

  “Tuesday.” She was wide-eyed. “Nine in the morning.”

  I sat up quickly. “I slept a day?”

  “Hypnos,” Chase said with distaste. He leaned against the wall, arms crossed.

  At least Hypnos let me wake up. I couldn’t be angry at the guy after what I had done.

  “Archer. Zeus demands your answer now,” Ma said.

  Of course, he did, on his terms and time.

  We headed down to his office, where I was told to enter alone. Athena was there again, looking grave.

  “Well?” Zeus asked. He motioned for me to pull up a chair.

  I refused to sit, not wanting to stay longer than it took to utter the words I might regret one day: “I will never see her again in exchange for her to live out her mortal life.” My voice shook, as well as my entire frame.

  Zeus’s brow wrinkled, and his shock was apparent. He neither expected that answer nor was happy with it. My suspicions were well grounded. He put too much faith in godly selfishness and not enough in the power of love.

  “She lives then,” he said quietly.

  “And I get to see her one last time one day,” I amended, thinking only of the promise I had made to Callie. I promised her I would come back someday, somehow.

  “On her deathbed only, and, Eros, no plotting for loopholes. I mean the moment she dies, when the new Death is sent for her,” he said demurely.

  “And I get to see her in my mind, I mean. I need to see she is okay and happy.”

  “Can’t see how that would hurt anything. It will torture you, but we are speaking of punishments, aren’t we?” His sadistic grin showed me he enjoyed my pain. I was no longer a favorite of his, that was clear. “All I ask is that you do not physically see her.”

  “Deal,” I said before my resolve left me.

  He offered his hand, and I shook it. The terms were now set.

  “If you break the terms of punishment, she will die,” Zeus warned me as I left. I gave him one last look over my shoulder. He was rubbing his beard, thinking deeply, his eyes troubled.

  I sought my father out instantly and told him all. I added that I needed to leave Fiji before I did anything stupid, like change my mind. It was strange
that I sought him out and not my mother, but I had a feeling she would not be able to refrain from her I-told-you-so tendencies.

  “Where are we going?”

  Now, this comment I wasn’t ready for. You wouldn’t think my father, who had been absent for most of my existence, would follow me to the ends of the earth in my punishment, but here he was, offering. It wasn’t what I wanted. No one deserved to be punished with me.

  “You…don’t have to go with me,” I said awkwardly, realizing too late that it sounded as if I were rejecting him.

  “If you prefer your mother’s company, I understand. I just thought…never mind. I’m always too ambitious. Part of being the god of war, I suppose.” The way he rattled on was unusual for him. Through his tough exterior, I had wounded him.

  “I didn’t mean it that way. I’m just not going to be good company.”

  “Archer, you can’t be alone. You don’t know how terrible that is,” he said, avoiding my gaze.

  I felt sorry for him and all the years he’d spent without us. True, he’d never reached out to me, but had I ever tried to reach out to him? Feeling bad for him made me a little less sorry for myself, and that was necessary at the moment.

  “I’m gonna stay with you, Son, as long as it takes for you to get over this.”

  “It may take forever.”

  “Well, it’s a good thing I have forever.” He gave me a sympathetic look. “So, where shall we start?”

  “Somewhere warm and far from New York. In fact, not the US at all; I don’t want to be tempted.”

  “I’ll get us out of here in an hour.”

  I went back to my room and packed, quickly putting off the hardest deed of all: breaking the news to Callie via Lucien. There was no way I could talk to her, and Lucien had told me she had been sick the last time I had called him. I dialed Lucien.

  “Lucien.” My voice cracked, despite my best effort to stay strong. “Is she okay?”

  “She’s better, yes, and at home now. What’s wrong? What happened?”