Teenage Love Affair

by Ni-Ni Simone

  “I’m not telling him to call me.”

  “Well, tell him to stop calling you.”

  “Okay, Malachi, I will.” I walked over to his TV and picked up the dice on top. “You play craps?”

  “Craps.” Malachi laughed. “What, you looking to get spanked? Sent home crying?”

  I placed my hands on my hips. “Boy, please, this is not hopscotch. I will house you in some dice.”

  Malachi cracked up. “Baby, don’t even do it to yourself. Please. Now if you want, I’ll let you beat me at the Wii boxing game, but you will never house me in dice.”

  “A hundred dollars says I will.”

  “Oh, my baby talking big bucks?”

  “You gon’ put up or shut up?” I rolled the dice around in my hand.

  “Ai’ight.” He hopped off the bed. “Ladies first.”

  “But of course.” I juggled the dice in my hand and then said to him, “Blow on these for me?”

  “Yeah, ai’ight.” He laughed.

  “Haters never win,” I said as I rolled the dice and popped them against the wall. “Seven!” I jumped up and down. “And you know this.”

  “Whatever, that was luck,” Malachi said as I rolled again.

  “You can’t beat me.” I started talking smack. “You think you so big and bad, but what, what you got?”

  “I got a turn,” he said, pointing to the dice.

  I sucked my teeth as they came up snake eyes. “Whatever. You put that bad luck in the universe.”

  Malachi laughed. “That ain’t all I’ma put out in the universe.” He tapped me on the butt and then rolled the dice.

  “Snake eyes, buddy,” I said. “Give it here, give it here.” I popped the dice against the wall and voilà, I was kicking Malachi’s you know what. By the time we were done, I’d won three hundred dollars from him and he was staring at me saying, “You think I can borrow a few dollars?”

  “Maybe.” I started to dance as a Michael Jackson throwback came on. “Dance with me.”

  “Did you forget that I wasn’t your boy Courtney? I’m not dancing to no Michael Jackson.”

  “Men dance,” I said, moving from side to side.

  “Not this one. Now chill and come here.” He sat on the edge of the bed.

  “What?” I smiled and stood before him.

  “You know I love you, right?” He placed his hands on my hips.

  “Yes.”

  “And you know I would never hurt you intentionally, right?”

  Suddenly my heart started skipping beats. “I know.”

  “Good.” He snatched the cash from my hands. “’Cause you being jacked. I want my money back.”

  “Oh, no, you didn’t!” I playfully jumped on top of him, lightly punching him on the arm and tickling him in his hard belly. “Give me my money!” I couldn’t stop laughing, and being that I was acting so silly and Malachi was now tickling me, I was unable to keep a steady hand and money was flying all over the place. Yet, in the midst of all of this somehow and some way we started to kiss passionately, as if we’d been desiring this kiss all of our lives.

  Just when I thought sparks were about to jump off, Malachi said, “Zsa, we gotta slow down.”

  I sighed. “Why?”

  “Because”—he paused—“not only do I not have any condoms, the timing is not right.”

  “So you don’t want none? You must be the only seventeen-year-old in America not trying to get down.”

  “Don’t try and act like I’m some corny li’l dude. I’m just trying not to get you strung out.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, right.”

  “Nah, listen.” He looked me dead in the eyes. “I can’t even lie to you and front like I’ma virgin or when I see you I don’t want none, because I do.” He paused and looked me over. “I want some bad. But you got a lot going on right now and the last thing we need is an unexpected baby, or to be chasing a late period. I am not beat for that. Plus, I’m not messing with you until I know that you and Ameen are completely through.”

  “Ameen? I’m not messing him.”

  “All I’m saying is that for right now, we gon’ lay here, watch some TV, and chill.”

  “Chill?”

  “Chill. You ai’ight with that? I mean, let me know, you want to be wifey or you want to be a jump off.”

  “You know what I want.”

  “Then relax. I love you. I’m not going anywhere, but there’s a lot more going on with you right now that’s more important than taking our relationship to a sexin’ level. When the time is right it’ll happen.”

  “So what do we do in the meantime?”

  “Chill.” He kissed me.

  “Okay, we can chill.” I laughed. “But you still ain’t getting that money back.”

  12

  You the best,

  Best I ever had…

  We can do it real big,

  Bigger than you ever done it…

  —DRAKE, “BEST I EVER HAD”

  Today was me and my baby’s anniversary and I wasn’t sure what he had planned. I knew I needed a break, though, so I was hoping it involved a faraway day trip, especially since my midterms had kicked my butt. Don’t worry, I passed all of them. But it was not without my share of migraines or the itch to write the answers on my hand or put them up my sleeve and cheat. But I didn’t. I studied, and judging by my grade point average so far, it had paid off.

  It was the day before Thanksgiving and my mother wanted me to stay home with her and prepare for our family coming to visit…. Not.

  I dressed in a pair of skinny-leg Bebe jeans, stiletto riding boots, and a tangerine hooded sweater to wear to the mysterious place Malachi was taking me to. A few minutes later, my phone rang. It was Courtney. “You rang?” I answered.

  “Hey, Diva, what are you doing?”

  “Getting ready for my anniversary celebration with my boo.”

  “Oh, wow,” Courtney said, “and how corny are you?”

  “Ill, don’t be hatin’ on me and my man.”

  “I’m not. I’m just saying that y’all are corny. You have only been together two days? My Jesus.”

  “Shut up.” I laughed. “It’s been longer than that.”

  “Whew, somebody ring the alarm,” he said, and I could imagine him arching his eyebrows and flinging his wrist.

  “Anyway,” I said, “I’ve been wanting to get your opinion about something.”

  “What? And please don’t ask me if I like turkey.”

  What is he talking about?

  “’Cause the answer is no,” he rambled on. “Stuffing does not melt in my mouth, I hate that lumpy gravy you be making, Mama! And please don’t nobody in their right mind use Jell-O as a replacement for cranberry sauce. Stop being so cheap!”

  “Ahh, Courtney,” I said, completely put off, “what are you talking about?”

  “I’m sorry, Diva, I just had to vent. Every Thanksgiving my mother insists on making this mess of a meal instead of letting us go out to my grandmother’s. I swear I just can’t take it anymore so I had to get that off my chest. My fault for blacking out, now, what do you wanna ask me?”

  “Never mind, I’m scared now.”

  “Diva, just ask me and stop playing.”

  “Okay, and you better not tell anybody, not even Asha.”

  “Oh, this must be good. You stole your mama’s credit card? Girl, I did that one time and my mama chewed me out. Don’t sign your real name ’cause that’s how I got caught.”

  “Oh, my God, T.T.M.I. Totally too much information. Is that why you called me crying and screaming from the police station last year?”

  “Yeah, she called herself teaching me a lesson.”

  “You needed to learn one. You don’t steal your mother’s credit card, are you kidding me?”

  “You can calm down, it was only QVC. You act like it was Ashley Stewart or something.”

  “Oh, my God.” I shook my head. “Oh-my-God—why can’t I hold a conversation without it being al
l about you? Why?”

  “Hello?” Courtney started banging on the phone. “Hello?”

  I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. “Yes, Courtney, I’m here. Why do you keep saying, ‘hello’?”

  “’Cause I wanna know who are you talking to? Two snaps up and a fruit loop, certainly you aren’t talking to me.”

  “Okay, you know what, never mind. I don’t need to ask you anything.”

  “Diva, don’t be like that. You know I have to live vicariously through your love life being that it’s so hot and all. Tell me, what’s the problem?”

  I sighed. “It’s about Malachi.”

  “What about him?”

  “We haven’t, you know…”

  “Know what?”

  “Slept together.”

  “Like gettin’ it in?”

  “Yeah.” I sat down on the edge of my bed. “Exactly.”

  “So?”

  “What do you mean, so?”

  “What, you got a disease you trying to give away? Here, Malachi,” he said mockingly, “here’s herpes on me.”

  “Shut up! I don’t have herpes, or anything else for that matter.”

  “Exactly, so relax.”

  “All I’m saying is that I never ran across a dude like Malachi. I mean, we kiss and it gets serious, but he always says the time is not right. Sometimes I wonder if he’s a virgin and he’s hiding it. I mean, he could just tell me.”

  Courtney yawned. “You done?”

  “Ill, that was rude.”

  “I just want you to hurry up so I can tell you off. ’Cause I need to borrow some money and I want to be sure to ask you before we get off the phone.”

  “What do you mean, ‘tell me off’? Why?”

  “Allow me to grace you with jump-off therapy. Earth to Zsa-Zsa.” I could hear him snapping his fingers. “Allow a man to treat you like a lady. Sex too soon can cloud your judgment, and the next thing you know you’ll be thinking a man like Ameen is king, but then again he is king, king of the retards.”

  “What does Ameen have to do with this?”

  “Because you expect Malachi to want the same things out of you that Ameen did. No, he’s a different type of dude. He’s respectful, he loves you, and he cares. But if you keep acting as if your body is for sale he’s gon’ start questioning your wifey status. You better get you a Rita’s Water Ice and cool off. I know you don’t think sex is love.”

  “No,” I said, although I was questioning that myself.

  “Okay, then fall back. Keep your panties on and be a lady. And anyway, even if he was a virgin, which my alarm tells me he is not, but even if he was it’s nothing wrong with that, ’cause we need love too. Now, do you have twenty dollars until next week? I need my nails and feet done. Can you say crusty?”

  “Yeah, Courtney. I’ll text Asha to swing by and bring it to you because I won’t be home and I know she and Samaad will be out.”

  “Okay, cool. Call me if you need anything, I have to go and take a nap. I can smell my mother cooking and I’m getting a headache.”

  Conversations with Courtney drained me, I swear. “Bye, Courtney.”

  “Bye, Diva.”

  I texted Asha for Courtney and a few seconds later, Cousin Shake pounded on my bedroom door. “Zingaling, Malory is out here to see you.”

  I’m so tired of this man messing up my name, and who the heck is Malory? Oh, my God. “It’s Malachi!” I snatched my bedroom door open.

  “What? You tryna raise up?” Cousin Shake started jogging in place. “Huh?” He lunged his chest toward me and then pretended to be holding himself back. “I ain’t think you wanted none. Now get on out here and get where you goin’, ’cause if them streetlights come on and you not back in this house by then I’ma start bustin’ my guns.”

  “And you don’t want that,” Ms. Minnie said, “’Cause then I’ll have to spray air freshener for days.” She shook her head. “Sometimes I sit and wonder, ‘did somebody die up in Shake?’”

  “Ain’t nobody die, Minnie.” Cousin Shake rubbed his belly. “That’s just all that pinned up love I have for you.”

  “Awwl, Shake.” She started to blush and I was utterly embarrassed. “You sooo sweet.”

  “And nasty all at the same time.” I frowned.

  “Get yo’ li’l behind outta here.” Cousin Shake growled at me. “Malory, I wish you luck.”

  “I know.” Malachi laughed. “Pray for me.”

  Oh, God, why did he say that?

  “Pray?” Cousin Shake said. “You need prayer? Well, you’ve come to the right place. Welcome to the Church of Shake, where layin’ a prayer down is my thang.”

  “I didn’t mean right at this second, Cousin Shake. I was using that as an expression,” Malachi said.

  “You know you meant that for right at this moment. Don’t front,” Cousin Shake insisted. “Now, come on, I’ll make it quick. Everybody hold hands.”

  I looked at Malachi and rolled my eyes. I swear if he wasn’t so big and fine I would’ve probably punched him right in the face.

  We held hands and Cousin Shake began to pray. “Bruh Man, Jesus and Papa John—oh, wait.” Cousin Shake shook his head. “That’s the pizza parlor. Minnie, remind me to order a pizza pie when I finish praying.”

  “Okay, baby,” she said. “With olives?”

  “Yeah, and eggs. I like eggs on my pizza.”

  “Shake, you know eggs give you gas.”

  “I know, but I been taking that Zantac.”

  “What are you two doing?!” I asked in a pissed disbelief. “Is this a prayer or you placing an order? Please, can we get on with it?”

  “Our Father.” Cousin Shake bowed his head. “Please bless Zingaling so that she don’t catch a beat down. Amen. Now get outta here!”

  Cousin Shake couldn’t have said it fast enough. I was out the door in a flash.

  By the time Malachi got to his truck he was cracking up. “Yo”—he opened the passenger door for me—“Cousin Shake is funny.”

  “Glad you think so,” I said as he slid in the car and turned the key in the ignition. “Let’s see how funny you think he is when the rest of his clan gets here.”

  “There’s more?” Malachi said as we headed for the highway.

  “Hmph, you just don’t know.”

  “Dang, baby, well at least the kids will have my relatives to give them a mentally sane balance.”

  I playfully punched him on the arm. “Alright now.”

  “I’m just playing.” He laughed. “I’m just playing.”

  “Now, where are we going?”

  “Just ride and see.”

  Malachi and I rode for at least an hour and we talked about everything under the sun. I swear I’d never laughed so much. By the time we arrived at the restaurant, which was on the beach and overlooking the water, the sun had settled for the night and the moon was dancing in the sky. It was so romantic, and just when I thought it couldn’t get any better the hostess showed us to a secluded booth with burgundy velvet drapes that hung around the space. It was as if we were in our own world with a perfect few of the ocean. I promise you, and I’m not sure who else I would outright say this to, but Malachi had me open. I never dreamed I would have someone so perfect, which is why I placed my phone on vibrate. I didn’t want him to know that Ameen had been calling me nonstop since we left my house.

  Shortly after we took our seats the waitress came, took our order, and quickly delivered our food.

  “Malachi”—I ate a piece of my salmon—“this place is beautiful. And this view is breathtaking. How did you find this place?”

  “Don’t be all jockin’ my pimpin’, girl,” he said jokingly while eating his steak. “And the next thing I know, Samaad and Asha will be frequenting my spot.”

  “I don’t believe you said that.” I laughed.

  “Nah, I’m just playing.” He sipped his soda. “But don’t worry about how I found it, just know that your man has class.”

  I smiled. I loved the s
ound of him saying “my man.” “You know”—I paused—“when we were kids and you moved away I thought I would never see you again.”

  “How’d that make you feel?”

  “Scared. Nervous, and like every time I loved someone they were going to leave me.”

  “Is that how you felt about your dad?”

  Instantly I felt my heart sink in the center. “Kind of. When I think about my dad, I get confused.”

  “Why?”

  “How can you love someone and hate someone at the same time?”

  “I don’t have an answer for you, Zsa.”

  “Exactly.” I arched my eyebrows. “No one does. So I really don’t want to talk about my dad.”

  “Ai’ight, well…let me share this with you; when I left I couldn’t stop talking about you. And for real as time went on I thought my feelings for you would somehow disappear, because like, when you’re twelve who thinks the love you feel for a girl is real? But when I turned thirteen, and fourteen, and fifteen, and sixteen, and seventeen, and I was still feeling you, I knew I had to get back to you. I had to at least see what we could be together. So, I talked my father into moving back to Jersey.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, I told him Jersey was a better state for his business and that Newark wasn’t the place everybody wanted to make it out to be.”

  “And he went for it?”

  “We’re here.”

  “All of that for me? You sure not Staci?”

  “Don’t start. ’Cause I haven’t asked you once why does your phone keep vibrating.”

  My mouth fell open. “How did you know that?”

  “Because I can hear it. You have to put it on silent for the phone not to make a sound, Zsa.”

  Dang he is right.

  “I know I’m right,” he said as if he’d read my mind. “Now, what’s good with that? You gon’ see Ameen about leaving you alone or am I gon’ have to do that? ’Cause for real, this cat is irking me.”

  “Ameen is harmless. His feelings are just hurt.”

  “He seems a li’l more than hurt. I’m wondering if you need a restraining order.”

  “Extra random, Malory. Too far to the left.”

  Malachi laughed. “I got your Malory. Anyway, have you started thinking about colleges?”