Teenage Love Affair

by Ni-Ni Simone

“So what, do you know what we went through behind you and that boy? Oh, no, I’m telling.”

  “You better not say a word.” I looked at her and squinted my eyes. “Because if you do I’m not buying you anything else and I won’t be taking you anywhere.”

  “Why would you do that to me?”

  “Open your mouth and you shall see.”

  Hadiah rolled her eyes at me and stormed away. She was right, though. Why the heck did I do that? I know I should’ve said no. I walked back into my room and started watching the clock as if it were a television show. I needed to stay away from this dude and straight diss him, but I always felt guilty and he had a way of making me feel like I owed him.

  “Zsa.” My mother knocked on my bedroom door.

  I jumped. She wasn’t supposed to be home, at least not for another few hours.

  “Come help me put away these groceries,” she said.

  I walked out of my room and into the kitchen where the table and the floor were littered with Pathmark bags. “How was your day, Ma?”

  My mother looked at me as if I were crazy. “You never ask me about my day. What do you want and how much does it cost?”

  “Nothing, Mother,” I said playfully. “I was just wondering how your day was.”

  “It’s been okay. Oh,” she said, putting chicken into the freezer, “where is your car?”

  “Umm.” I stalled for a second too long. “Courtney. He had a job interview at the mall so I let him use it.”

  “An interview on a Sunday?”

  “It’s at the mall.”

  “I guess. And when did Courtney get a driver’s license?”

  “Umm, last year. Last month, I mean,” I said nervously.

  “Okay.” She looked at me suspiciously. “Well after today don’t let anyone else drive your car besides you.”

  “It’s my car.”

  “But I paid for it and I pay the insurance on it. Now, don’t start with me, because I’m not tolerating your smart mouth anymore.”

  “I didn’t even do anything and you going off.”

  “I’m not going off, I’m just stating facts. Now I have a headache,” she said as the doorbell rang. “Who is that? Are you expecting company?”

  “No.” I shook my head.

  “Well, get the door.” She poured herself a glass of juice and popped a Tylenol in her mouth. “I hope it’s Courtney.”

  “Me too,” I mumbled. I twisted the knob, opened the door, and it was Malachi. Malachi? What the heck was he doing here? Oh, God, this was the last thing I needed. “Hi, sweetie.” I gave him a hug while standing in the doorway. “What are you doing here?”

  “I came to surprise you. We were on our way back down here the whole time you and I were on the phone.”

  “Oh, okay,” I said, still standing in the doorway. “Well, call me tomorrow. I’m sure you need your rest.”

  “Actually, I’m okay, but I’m sayin’, you want me to leave or something?”

  “No.” I shook my head. “Not at all.”

  “Then why are you blocking the doorway?”

  “I am?” I swallowed. “I didn’t mean to do that. Come in.”

  Reluctantly I moved out of the way and I swear my stomach was doing back flips.

  “Hey, Ms. Jazmyn,” Malachi said, walking into the living room, “where is your car, Zsa?”

  “Why is everybody concerned about my car? Dang. Courtney has it.”

  “Courtney?” he said, taken aback. “You let Courtney use your car? Why would you do that?”

  “Same thing I said,” my mother said, butting into our conversation. “Zsa, I’m going to lay down, my head is spinning.”

  “Okay,” I said as Malachi and I headed into my room.

  I was sweating bullets. I needed Ameen to bring my car back and quick. I looked at the clock and Ameen’s so-called hour was quickly turning into two hours, and by the third hour I was scared he was never coming back.

  “Zsa.” My mother knocked on my door and opened it at the same time. “What time is Courtney coming back with your car? It’s going on eight o’clock. Nobody’s interviewing for a job this late.”

  “It’s the night shift, Ma.”

  “No,” she said, “it’s starting to look like the lying shift, Ma.” She mocked me. “Don’t make me call his mother. He got another hour and then I’m on the phone with Brenda.”

  “I’ll call him.” I sucked my teeth. Ever since my mother had been going to therapy she’d been beating her chest with me a lot more. Saying whatever she felt like saying, and if I say something that she feels is sarcastic she shuts it down. Hot mess. I picked up my cell phone and dialed Ameen’s number. A recorded operator picked up the line. “The number you have reached is no longer in service.”

  How could Ameen’s phone be cut off? I looked at my mother. “He didn’t answer, let me try again.” Instead I tried to slyly search through my caller ID for the number Ameen called me from and oh…my…God…the number had been erased. Somebody shoot me.

  “Are you going to call him back?” my mother asked.

  “Oh, yeah.” I pretended to dial a number and then I pretended to be speaking into the phone. “Courtney, where are you?” I paused. “Well, you better come on, because it’s getting late, and we have school tomorrow.” I paused again. “Courtney, what did I say?”

  “Let me speak to that boy,” my mother said, and before I could protest she’d snatched the phone from my ear. “Hello?” She spoke into the phone. “Nobody’s up here.” She looked at me strangely.

  “Wow.” I hunched my shoulders. “He must’ve hung up.” I looked at Malachi and gave him a stupid smile, one he didn’t return.

  My mother smirked. “I’m going back to lay down, but if I come out here again and the car isn’t here,” my mother said, “I’m calling Brenda and that’s that.”

  “Zsa.” Malachi called my name as my mother slammed her room door.

  “What?” I jumped.

  “What are you so jumpy and nervous about?” Malachi asked. “You act like you’re lying.”

  “Malachi, don’t be accusing me of things, okay? You’re the one who said you weren’t coming back for two days.”

  “What does that have to do with anything?”

  “So you’re the one who lied to me?”

  “Are you trying to start an argument with me?” Malachi frowned. “What, you want me to leave? That’s not a problem.” He grabbed his car keys.

  “Malachi, I don’t want you to leave,” I said in a panic.

  “Then what is the problem? Why are you acting like this?”

  “That’s it, Zsa.” My mother stormed out of her room. “I’m calling Brenda, because I just remembered Courtney is sixteen. He doesn’t have a driver’s license.”

  “Ma, wait.”

  “What is she waiting for, Zsa?” Malachi pressed as someone pounded on the front door.

  Thank you, Jesus.

  I turned to them and smiled. “There’s Courtney right there. Now can you two go in the other room? I don’t want to embarrass him, because I’m about to read him.”

  “Well, we’ll be reading him together.” My mother walked over to the door, and I tried to block her path. “What the hell?” she said. “If you don’t move out of my way.” She opened the door, and instead of Ameen standing there, there were two police officers at my door with the blaring red lights from their cruisers behind them.

  I swear I was about to faint. “Yes, officers?” my mother said, “may I help you?”

  “We’re looking for,” one of the officers said, “a Zsa-Zsa Fields.”

  “For what?” my mother said defensively.

  “Is she here, ma’am?” the officer asked.

  “She’s right here.” My mother pointed at me. “This is my daughter. Now, what is the problem?”

  “Well, ma’am, we need her to come down to the station and answer some questions—”

  “Questions about what?!” my mother snapped.

&n
bsp; “We’re trying to tell you, ma’am. We have a suspect in custody by the name of Ameen Jones. He crashed the car on the side of the highway and attempted to run. Don’t worry, we caught him. But we also found drugs in the car, which he’s saying weren’t his, but were instead in the car when he borrowed it.”

  “I don’t believe this,” my mother said, pissed.

  “I didn’t have any drugs. He’s lying!” I shouted.

  “Well,” the officer said, “that’s why we need you to come to the station and give us a statement.”

  “Let me grab my purse,” my mother said. “We will be right behind you, officers.”

  “Thank you, ma’am.” The officers walked back to their car.

  I turned around and looked at Malachi, who was grabbing his jacket and keys. I looked in his eyes and could tell he was hurt, which is why I couldn’t let him leave. I had to explain or at least try to explain what happened. “Malachi.” I grabbed his hand and he snatched it back. “It wasn’t like that.”

  “You been playing me this whole time?”

  “No.” Tears filled my eyes and raced down my cheeks. “How could you say something like that? Ameen called me and claimed he had a job interview. He said he wanted to change his life.”

  “Zsa, you look so stupid to me right now. I swear to God, I wish I had never got with you. You were a better memory than anything else. I’m done. It’s over.” And he stormed out the door. My heart was in pieces and I was screaming at the top of my lungs, “Malachi! Don’t leave!” But within a matter of seconds he was gone.

  “Oh, no, you don’t.” My mother stormed into the living room. “Dry your eyes. You’re grown, remember?” She called Hadiah, who had been sleeping in her room. “I want you to go next door and sit with Ms. Lucinda until Cousin Shake and Ms. Minnie get back.”

  “Okay, Ma.”

  After Hadiah left, my mother looked at me and said, “Let’s go.”

  I felt completely out of my mind by the time we got to the police station. I didn’t know whether I was coming or going, whether this was a dream or a strange part of my reality. All I knew is that my heart felt like a brick and my head was spinning. I gave the officers a statement and they informed me that my car was totaled in the accident. I swear, it was like at the police station, I knew physically I was there, but mentally I was a million different places. I needed to speak to Malachi and I needed to fix this. I needed the last five minutes we’d spent together back because if I didn’t get this right, I had no idea what my life would be like.

  I cried on the entire ride home. My mother was saying something to me. Something that sounded like a lecture but I don’t know what it was, and I didn’t care either, all I cared about was getting Malachi back.

  By the time we arrived home, I flew into my room and dialed Malachi’s number. He didn’t answer, so I called him back and he still didn’t pick up. I must’ve called him a hundred times and still nothing. I didn’t care. I wasn’t giving up so I called him again.

  “What?” he said, answering.

  “Malachi, it’s not what you think.”

  “It’s not what I think, you’re right, Zsa, it’s not. I thought you loved me, you don’t. I thought you were faithful to me, you’re not.”

  “I do love you and I never cheated on you. You have to believe me.”

  “You’re a liar and we’re done. It’s over. It’s always some rah-rah with you. Nothing is ever peaceful, so I tell you what, lose yourself, ’cause I’m done and that’s for real.” He hung up on me.

  I tried calling him back at least a hundred times but he didn’t answer. “Zsa.” My mother called my name and entered my room at the same time.

  “Not now, Ma,” I said, wiping tears from my eyes. “I need to talk to Malachi.”

  “You don’t tell me not now. Because it’s right now!”

  “I need to talk to Malachi!” I screamed.

  “No, you need to talk to me. You have completely lost your mind. Here Ameen beat you, abused you, used you, and you’re still messing with him?”

  “I’m not messing with him!”

  “Well, it sure looks like it. When are you going to say enough is enough? Huh? I knew I should’ve made you press charges on him.”

  “For what? You never followed through on any of the charges you pressed,” I snapped. “Don’t be trying to act like mother of the year now because you in counseling and now all of a sudden you wanna buck.”

  My mother walked up so close to me that I swear her breath was making my eyelashes blink. “If I didn’t know that violence solved nothing, I would slap you! I don’t know who you think you’re talking to but I know who you’re not talking to and that’s me. I made some mistakes, yes, but I am your mother, not the other way around. You will not disrespect me and you will not stand in my face as if we are equals. You have a problem and it will be addressed. You are going to counseling. I don’t care if you think it’s for crazy folks, but you are going. Now try me if you think I’m playing. I’m not your girlfriend, I’m not interested in a compromise, and no, there’s nothing you can say to make me change my mind. You so worried about Malachi, you need to be worried about yourself and your state of mind, because the way you’re going, in a few years you are going to be a raggedy mess and I’m not having it.”

  “I’m not going to counseling!”

  “Oh, no, then you got to leave.” My mother took a step back. “Get your things and go. You so damn grown. You know all the answers.” She grabbed my suitcases out of my closet and slammed them on my bed. “Then get out of here! Because I run this spot and what I say goes. Now if you don’t like it, then deuces,” she said mockingly, “because I ain’t the one.”

  I couldn’t believe this. My mother had warped into someone else, someone I was scared of. I felt like if I said anything I was about to catch a beat down. For a moment I was less worried about my breakup with Malachi and more worried about life with my mother. “You would put me out in the street?”

  “You are my child,” my mother said, wiping the tears that had formed in her eyes, “but I will not watch you be reduced to nothing. Now, I love you and this is your home, but if we don’t go and work out the issues that we have here, then yes, you will have to go. Now you think about that.” And she left.

  I felt like a bomb had gone off and the only thing I could do about it was cry myself into oblivion.

  21

  Love, I thought you had my back this time…

  —KEYSHIA COLE, “LOVE, I THOUGHT YOU HAD MY BACK”

  My life was hell. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, and I didn’t know whether I was coming or going. All I could do was think and cry. Cry and think. How did I end up here? How did my life wither into such a nightmare, where I finally realized what true love was, had the right man, the one I wanted for a lifetime, and in one split second of a bad decision he was gone and I had nothing.

  I’d called Malachi a thousand times and he hadn’t answered any of my calls or returned the kazillion messages I’d left him. I feel like…like…like…I’m going crazy. Better yet, like I am crazy.

  I mean, I’d been hurt before and I’d cried a million times but this time I felt like somebody opened my heart, split it down the middle, and pissed inside.

  I’d been up all night and although my eyes felt like weights there was no way I was staying home today. I got out of bed, showered, quietly dressed, picked up my car keys, and headed out the door. Once I was in my driveway it clicked. I no longer had a car, which meant one thing: I had to catch the bus. Jesus.

  I pulled out my cell phone and called Courtney.

  “I gotta take a who?” Courtney said, as if he were in shock.

  “A bus. It’s a long story but I don’t have my car anymore.”

  “Well, you need to go and get it, Diva, ’cause I can’t catch no bus. I don’t even own a pair of sneakers.”

  “Well, Prince, I don’t know what to tell you.” And I hung up. I really couldn’t be aggravated with Courtn
ey today. I walked to the bus stop on the corner and hopped on the bus. It was mad crowded with kids going to school and people going to work.

  The bus pulled up to the stop by Courtney’s house and he staggered on, looking a hot mess. His purple boa was wrapped around his neck like a cyclone, he had rollers in the back of his hair, and the three-inch boots he wore looked to be leaning to the side, as his book bag fell down his arm. “Driver,” Courtney said, “I’m so upset. How much is this thing?”

  “Two dollars and seventy-five cents,” the bus driver said.

  “Oh, no!” Courtney wiped his brow as if he were due to faint. “Y’all robbing people.”

  “Young man,” the driver said, “are you going to pay? Otherwise step off the bus, please.”

  “God bless you too,” Courtney said, pulling out a hand full of change from his pocket. “No need to be nasty.” After paying his fare Courtney walked to the back of the bus, and I called his name. He flopped down next to me and said, “I’m not speaking to you. You know that, right.”

  “No,” I said, “I couldn’t tell.”

  “Well, I’m not. And why are we on this bus? What happened to your car? We need it. That’s it, I’m riding with Asha and Samaad tomorrow.”

  Suddenly and without warning I broke down and a river of tears fell from my eyes. “Zsa,” Courtney said, looking around at the people who were staring at me and giving them a fake smile. “I know your dog died,” was his attempt to play if off, “but it’s okay.”

  “My dog didn’t die,” I said, “Malachi left me.”

  “Oh, Lawd!” Courtney shouted, and pretended to pass out on the seat. “No, Jesus. Not Malachi. No, not Malachi.”

  I looked at Courtney as he carried on like a church lady at her pastor’s funeral. “Help me,” he sniffed. “Don’t take Malachi, Father. Not Malachi.”

  I wanted to punch Courtney dead in the face. “Shut up,” I growled as we pulled up to the stop in front of the school. “You sound stupid.”

  “Don’t be getting mad with me,” he sniffed. “You the one messed our life up.”

  I ignored him, because I absolutely couldn’t do it. At least not today. Tomorrow maybe I could entertain Courtney, but not today.