Shooting Eros - The Emuna Chronicles: Complete Boxset: Books 1 - 3

by Benjamin Laskin

  Virgil reappeared, a fresh, red patch under his swollen eye. He glared at the lieutenant. “Yeah, it did. Laugh now, buddy, because it’s only a matter of time before someone kicks your ass.”

  Phorcus punched Virgil in the nose, sending a cascade of blood down his face.

  “Lieutenant!” Hamanaeus shouted.

  Phorcus stepped away, but kept a menacing glower trained on Virgil.

  “How did you do that?” Hamanaeus demanded.

  “I told you already.”

  Furious, Hamanaeus stamped his cane. “You lie! It’s some sort of illusion. I want to know how you do it!”

  “Keep clear of the soldiers, Kohai. We can’t fight in invisible mode.”

  “Roger that, Captain.”

  We were inside the cave, which was more like a sprawling bunker system with long passageways that led into different caverns. Dozens of armed Anteros soldiers roamed the halls and rooms.

  We made our way through the premises, steering clear of the soldiers, making sure we didn’t bump or brush into any of them in any of the narrower corridors. The stony walls were covered in a gritty white chalk, so we didn’t want to rub against those either, as it wouldn’t cloak along with us.

  “Captain, I’m not picking up anything from Virgil, but you seem to know where you’re going. How do you know where they’re holding him?

  “Follow your nose, Kohai.”

  “Huh?”

  “Watch out!”

  Three Anteros soldiers walking abreast swung around a corner. They strode briskly down the hall toward us leaving no room to hug the wall.

  “Up!” Volk said.

  He sprang into the shadows above, grabbed onto an exposed pipe that ran along the ceiling of the tunnel, and swung his feet up and around, catching the pipe with his heels. I wasn’t sure that it would hold the two of us, but we had no choice. I did the same, facing the opposite direction.

  The soldiers marched by, the tops of their heads passing a foot beneath our planking bodies. As soon as they turned the bend we dropped silently to the floor.

  “That was close,” I said. “My nose?”

  “Have you seen any yetzers in here so far?”

  “No.”

  “Right,” Volk said. “Now take a whiff.”

  I did. The scent was unmistakable.

  On Earth our senses were heightened, nearly as good as those of dogs or other animals. The Anteros soldiers, however, had spent so long on Earth that they had lost this enhancement. They had also become accustomed to the foul odors of the yetzers.

  “Mocking Yetzer,” I pronounced.

  “Exactly. Virgil said a Mocking Yetzer was standing guard outside his door. Find the yetzer, and we find Virgil.”

  We continued prowling.

  The reek of the Mocking Yetzer grew stronger. We followed the stench left down a long corridor, evaded more soldiers, and then came upon another cavern intersection. There we lost the scent and had to sniff our way around like Bloodhounds. We picked up the yetzer’s stink again, and then halfway down the next narrow passageway, we heard the echo of an angry voice fast approaching.

  32

  Booty and the Beast

  “Damn it, Lieutenant. I said knock some sense into him, not knock him senseless!”

  “He was being a smartass,” the second voice complained.

  “And you’re a dumbass,” retorted the first. “I want to know how he does that trick before I meet with Minos. Do you realize the advantage invisibility would give us? We’d be unstoppable.”

  “I’m sorry, Sir,” said the repentant voice. “But he insulted my mother.”

  “You don’t have a mother, you moron.”

  “Then how did I get here?”

  “The same way we all did, jackass. Star stuff.”

  “Star stuff?”

  “That’s right. Nature made you from star stuff. And in your case, you’re obviously a few solar systems short of a galaxy.”

  “Who made nature?” the befuddled companion asked.

  “Idiot, nature made nature.”

  “Why would nature make nature?” the confused voice rejoined. “What was before nature?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Nothing? How does something come from nothing?”

  “Shut up, Phorcus. It’s not your place to understand. Leave the metaphysics to me.”

  “Yes, Sir…”

  “Hamanaeus?” I said, chuckling.

  “Yes. We must be close. Hold here and let them pass.”

  We tucked ourselves into a crevice along the cave wall.

  “Don’t even think about it, Kohai,” Volk warned.

  It was too late. I thunk it. I thought about taking out Hamanaeus right then and there, ending his heinous life. But Captain Volk was right, as always. To have done so would have meant bringing the entire fortress down upon us.

  Hamanaeus and two of his soldiers walked past. The coast clear, we proceeded down the passageway, which hooked to the left. The stench of the Mocking Yetzer was almost palpable.

  We halted and Captain Volk peered around the next corner. We had to be careful. Yetzers were far more sensitive to sound, scent, and movement than the Anteros soldiers. If the thing was alert it could detect us. It could let out a howl that would bring a sprinting army of soldiers, or just decide to rip our heads off with a single swipe of one of its powerful arms. Probably both.

  “We’re here,” Volk said. “The yetzer is squatting in front of a steel door. A big sucker. The creature takes up almost the entire corridor. It’s got a spear in one hand.”

  “An armed yetzer? Man, they’ve really got this training thing down pat.”

  “You wait here. I’ll try to turn the beast so its back is to you, then you stab it with your sword. Make sure you get it in the base of the head, otherwise you’ll just piss it off.”

  “Yes, Sir,” I said, and unsheathed my ruby-edged kodachi short sword.

  Captain Volk withdrew his sword too and slunk around the corner. I moved up and observed from behind.

  The captain wasn’t kidding, that was the biggest dang Mocking Yetzer I had ever seen. The thing was much bigger than the one taken out by Captain Perseus during the field-testing of Hermes’ spleen gun, something I wish I had right about now. It had fangs like bayonets, and its long, shaggy, apelike arms packed muscles the size of cannonballs. Volk barely came up to the beast’s shoulders, and that’s only because the creature was in a squat.

  The captain stealthily approached the yetzer. The yetzer’s eyes were closed, and it appeared to be snoozing. Its heavy breathing reverberated off the cave’s walls. Volk drew closer. Now within striking position, he raised his sword.

  The yetzer’s massive paw shot out and grabbed Volk by the throat. It slammed the captain’s head into the cave’s ceiling, bringing down a rain of chalky debris.

  “Captain!”

  Still conscious, the captain slashed down hard with his sword and severed the yetzer’s arm at the elbow. The spear dropped from the creature’s other hand as the yetzer howled in pain. Foul, gray goo spewed from the lopped-off arm.

  Volk crashed to the floor, his sword skidding out of sight. The yetzer’s roar reverberated down the passageways.

  We were screwed now.

  Volk scrambled between the yetzer’s legs out of reach, hoping the monster would turn towards him, putting its back to me. I ran up, but the yetzer didn’t fall for the ploy. The beast turned, and with a lightning fast swipe of its good arm, knocked the sword from my hand.

  The yetzer snatched up the sword’s handle and snapped the blade in two with a stomp of its foot. The thud of its powerful leg shook more dust from the ceiling. The fiend grabbed for me, but I evaded its clutches with a back handspring, disappearing around the corner.

  I heard another blood-curdling howl. I peeked back around the corner. Volk had plunged a demon dagger into the yetzer’s foot. The giant, however, had been able to snatch one of the captain’s legs as he tried to scurry away. T
he captain was now sprawled flat on the ground, his hands clinging desperately to an outcropping of stone in the cave wall as the mangy ogre tugged on his leg with its good arm, the severed one still spurting rank goo all over the place.

  It would only be seconds before dozens of Anteros soldiers would be upon us. If we were to get Virgil out alive, this fight had to be finished quickly.

  I withdrew my lightning whip from my belt and yelled, “Opa!”

  The whip uncoiled in a streaming ruby red flash. Hearing my cry, the yetzer released Captain Volk’s leg and turned to face me, another horrific roar bellowing from its fanged mouth, its noxious breath almost knocking me over.

  “Opa!” I gave the whip a mighty snap. The electric band shot forth and wrapped around the yetzer’s thick neck. I yanked, and the beast’s head spun from its massive shoulders, ricocheting between the corridor walls and out of sight. The yetzer’s spasm-convulsed body crumpled to the floor, gallons of gravy-like sludge pouring from its severed neck.

  “Quick, Kohai!”

  I ran towards the door, slipped on the pool of yetzer gore, and fell on my ass. I scrambled back to my feet and together Volk and I dragged the massive, still writhing yetzer carcass away from the door. Volk slid open the heavy metal bolt and we rushed inside.

  We found Virgil tied to a chair. His chin on his chest, he was unconscious and covered with blood. Volk checked Virgil’s pulse.

  “He’s alive. Give me your knife.”

  I handed the captain my demon dagger and he began to work the thick ropes.

  We heard a stampede of boots and shouts cascading down the hallway.

  I kicked the door shut with my foot, but there was no way to lock it from the inside.

  “Hurry! They’re almost here!”

  “Done!” Volk heaved Virgil over his shoulder. “Let’s go! You drive!”

  I shoved the table out of the way and embraced the captain with one arm as I extended the other. Volk put out his free, opposite arm, and we went into tandem twirl. The extra load and fancy footwork made it difficult to achieve the necessary balance and velocity.

  “Concentrate, Kohai!” Volk shouted.

  We reached dimensional ground a nanosecond before a spray of splicer rounds ripped through the room. We hovered unseen in dimensional transition just long enough to see an enraged Hamanaeus come slip-sliding in, cursing up a storm. And then we were gone.

  33

  Jailhouse Crock

  Back in our dorm room, I propped up the pillows on Virgil’s bunk bed and brought him a cup of tea. He took a sip and flinched in pain.

  “Bring me a mirror,” he rasped.

  I retrieved a small hand mirror from a shelf and reluctantly handed it to him. He peered through his two swollen eyes into the mirror and felt at his battered and tender face.

  “I look like an eggplant,” he said. He began to chuckle, but because of his bruised ribs he ceased with a groan.

  “They really worked you over. But don’t worry, you’ll heal up with time.”

  “How long have I been out?”

  “Not long. We got you back here a few hours ago.”

  “Huh? But…look at you, Kohai. You don’t have a scratch! You took some nasty blows during our fight. I saw a Guilt Yetzer claw you across the face!”

  “Yeah, I was a mess too.”

  “So I must have been out for a long time. How come I can’t remember?”

  “No, Virge. Not long. Something happened to me. I don’t know what or how exactly, but I was miraculously healed.”

  “By Captain Volk?”

  “By HaShem, I think.”

  “Then He will heal me too,” Virgil said confidently. “Tell me what to do, Kohai.”

  “Of course I would if I knew, but I don’t know. All I know is that I was with Sett and Grace at the time. Sett wanted to arrest me for disobeying orders. I couldn’t let him do that. I knew that I had to find Captain Volk and try and rescue you. I didn’t have time for his games. I refused to go with him. He threatened me again, and then it happened. Sett and Grace saw it with their own eyes.”

  “Just like that?”

  “Yeah, I think so. I was pretty worked up.”

  “Were you praying?”

  “No, not at the time.”

  “Nothing?”

  “I don’t think…wait. I quoted the prophet Micah, verse 7:7.”

  Knowing the entire Tanach by heart, Virgil repeated the verse. Nothing happened. He repeated it again with more feeling. Still, nothing.

  “I’m not worthy,” Virgil sighed. “I’m nowhere near your level, Kohai.”

  “That’s baloney, Virgil. In some ways, you are far beyond me.”

  Virgil shook his head despondently. “I’m not worthy,” he repeated.

  “Feeling sorry for yourself sure isn’t going to help,” I chided. “If you were so unworthy, would you be here today? Could Volk and I have succeeded without His help?”

  “No,” Virgil admitted, shame turning his bruises to violet.

  “Get some rest,” I commanded. “You’re tired. Pray. Talk to HaShem. I’ll leave you alone. And remember, trusting in the One Above doesn’t mean waiting for or depending on miracles. It means having confidence in what you are doing right now because you know God has put you on the right path, and that He will bless you with whatever you require to see it through to the end.”

  As I was about to leave Virgil called out to me. “Kohai,” he said. “Thanks for all you did…and all you’ve done. You are a true friend. Without you, I hate to think what would have become of me.”

  “You’d have done the same for me, Virge.”

  “I don’t mean back there in that interrogation room. You saved my life in more ways than that.”

  Never good at receiving praise, I’m sure I blushed.

  I answered, “As the great sage Rabbi Akiva said, ‘More than the calf wants to suck, the cow wants to suckle.’ That is, the teacher wants to teach even more than the pupil wants to learn.”

  Virgil started to smile, but it hurt too much, so he finished it with a nod.

  “Get some rest. I’ve got to go. Sett wants to see me.”

  “He’s not going to lock you up, is he?” Virgil said, appalled at the thought.

  “Maybe. He was pretty angry.”

  “But you rescued me! Surely he wouldn’t punish you for that!”

  “Rules are rules,” I said. “And I broke a ton of ‘em. But don’t worry, Captain Volk will do what he can. The important thing is we get you back in tip-top fighting condition. We need you Virge.”

  He nodded, a new determination in his swollen eyes. He thought of Phorcus and the beating he had received from him.

  “Yeah,” he said, retribution in his voice, “tip-top.”

  “Attaboy.”

  I gave Virgil the thumbs up and left to go meet Commander Sett’s version of retribution.

  Sett entered the lockup and stopped in front of the desk of Corporal Hypnos, a paunchy, unambitious, middle-aged cupid, content with an easy desk job. The soldier was leaning back in his chair, his feet on the desk, asleep and snoring.

  “Soldier!” Sett barked.

  Startled out of his wits, Hypnos nearly flipped backwards out of his chair. He bolted to his feet and saluted.

  “Sir! Commander Sett, Sir!”

  “Give me the keys to Lieutenant Jason’s cell.”

  “I’m sorry, Sir, but he’s not here.”

  “What do you mean not here? Where did they take him?”

  “Um, nowhere, Sir. He was released on his own recognizance.”

  “What? Said who?”

  “I-I don’t really know, Sir. He was gone when my shift began. You’ll have to ask Sergeant Pontos. He was on shift at the time.”

  “Get Pontos on the line,” Sett ordered.

  “Yes, Sir.” The cupid tapped a button on the speakerphone and buzzed the celestial at the front desk. “Rhea, get me Sergeant Pontos, now.” He turned to Sett as he waited. “I found
it a little odd myself, Sir, but Sergeant Pontos outranks me so…”

  Sett said nothing. He already knew what the celestial’s answer would be.

  The celestial’s voice crackled over the speaker, “No one is answering, Sir.”

  “Keep trying until you get him,” Hypnos said. He smacked the button ending the connection and shrugged. “She says no one is answering.”

  “I heard her. Contact me immediately if you get a hold of him. Got that, Corporal?”

  “Yes, Sir!”

  Sett left the room and stopped at the celestial’s desk in the front. “Celestial,” he said gruffly, “did you see anyone come or go today?”

  “No, Sir,” the pretty celestial answered.

  “Who was on shift before you? When Sergeant Pontos was here.”

  “No one, Sir. We don’t have anyone up front at night. I’m the only secretary here.”

  “Sergeant Pontos was here by himself?”

  “Yes, Sir. Unless you count the prisoners.”

  “Were any others released along with Lieutenant Jason?”

  “Um, let me check.” Rhea tapped at her keyboard, pulling up the daily logs. “Yes, Sir. Lieutenant Jason and two others, Privates Heracles and Attis.”

  “Is this normal?” Sett asked.

  “No, not really, Sir. I don’t recall any prisoners ever being released at night.”

  “Thank you.” He hollered back into the other room. “Corporal!”

  Hypnos hurried to the door. “Yes, Commander!”

  “Was Pontos here when you came on shift?”

  “No, Sir.”

  “He left the jail unattended and you didn’t report him?”

  “No, Sir.”

  “Why not?”

  “He had left a note saying he had to pick up some new prisoners at the Disgronifying Station, and that he had also received orders to free Lieutenant Jason and the other two. On their own recognizance, as I mentioned. I was going to take it up with him the next time I saw him. He had never given me a reason to be suspicious before, and like I said, he outranks me.”

  “Not anymore, he doesn’t,” Sett said. “All right, either of you hear anything, you call me immediately. Got that?”