His shoulders seemed to fill the hallway as he walked into the open living space at the back of her house that held the great room and the kitchen. He surveyed her living area, then turned to look at her. “This house looks exactly like you.”
A mixture of clean lines and comfort, her home was a reflection of her. Soft creams, grays, and splashes of red. It hinted at modern, but she’d chosen the furniture because of its comfort. The space was efficient and neat, with an open floor plan and no separation between the living room and kitchen.
Not wanting him to get too relaxed, she walked into the kitchen area, behind the large island, with its slate countertops, driftwood-gray cabinets, and stainless steel appliances.
Realizing he still watched her, she said haughtily, “Since you know nothing about me you can’t possibly know if that’s true.”
He came to a stop on the opposite side of the island, both of them facing off as they stared at each other. They were alone, with no excuses like alcohol to dull the past, and it sat between them, filling all the space.
“I know you better than you want me to,” he said, his voice rich and deep, holding none of the slur from the other night.
Why, after all this time, did he keep bringing up their past? It had been easy when she’d believed it was because he was drunk, but he was clearly sober now.
Her throat dried up and she crossed her arms over her chest. “What can I do for you, Evan?”
His gaze lingered on her lips. “I want to apologize for the other night. I was way out of line.”
“Yes, you were.” Her chin tilted. His presence in her house made her stomach dip in that old familiar way and she didn’t like it. He needed to leave. “Is that all?”
He placed his hands on the counter and looked at her, his expression dark and intense. “This is awkward.”
“It is.” She might as well acknowledge it. “So let me let you off the hook. Apology accepted. You’ve done your duty, now you can go.”
His lips twisted into a sardonic smile. “Apology accepted, but I’m not forgiven, am I?”
“Why would you need my forgiveness?” She leaned against her counter and gripped the edge. “You’ve never needed it before.”
His green eyes met hers and his jaw hardened. “We both know you’ll never forgive me. Nor should you.”
She looked away, staring at the picture over her fireplace. A canvas of red and white. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything,” he said, using a soft tone she hadn’t heard from him in years. “I just want you to know I’m sorry.”
“Thank you,” she said, still refusing to look at him.
“Why’d you come?”
She cleared her throat. “I told you, I did it for them. I thought you might listen to someone who wasn’t related to you.”
There was a beat of silence before he continued on. “What you said, it mattered. It made a difference. I’m in a bad place, and like usual, you kicked my ass until I saw reason. So thank you.”
It was the nicest thing he’d said to her in years. It made her remember how he’d been with her. Not just the heat, but how he used to be when they spent all those hours talking.
She didn’t want to remember. She wanted to hold on to the ball of anger that had kept her sane. Kept her heart hard and cold.
Her throat grew tight. At least it had been worth it. She’d done the right thing. Shane and Maddie would get some much needed relief, and for that she was grateful. “You’re welcome. I know football meant everything to you.”
“It did.”
She turned back to him. “If you try, I’m sure you can find something new to love.”
“I hope so.” His gaze roamed over her face, down her body, and up again. “I don’t know what to do, Penelope.”
He used to say she was the one person he could tell anything to. Once, she’d known all his secrets. All his fears and insecurities. She might hate him, but she didn’t wish him to suffer. She took a deep breath. “That’s always been your problem, believing the game was all you had.”
“That’s because it’s true.”
It wasn’t true, and this wasn’t the time to pacify him. He had enough people trying to placate him, and she wasn’t going to be one of them. “You’ll have to find a way to go on, or it will destroy you. You’re thirty-three, and you have your whole life ahead of you.”
He dragged a hand through his hair, and the late sun caught the hard lines of his jaw, setting off golden skin that didn’t belong on a man of Irish descent. “It doesn’t feel like that.”
“Don’t become one of those guys you hate, Evan. Romanticizing a past instead of planning a future. You’ll never forgive yourself. If you want a new life, you’ll have to fight for it. It’s really that simple.”
He glanced out the window overlooking her patio and small patch of city grass. “You always laid it right on the line. It’s one of the things I like best about you.”
She shrugged. Even at the height of her infatuation, she had. Enough people kissed his ass; he didn’t need one more. Although she’d obviously stroked his ego in plenty of other ways. “You should probably go.”
Their eyes locked. Held. Tension filled the air. He straightened. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.” One day, she didn’t know when, he would have no hold on her. But today wasn’t that day and she wanted him gone.
He cleared his throat. “The other night, I shouldn’t have touched you.”
Why wouldn’t he leave? She blew out a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter. It’s over and done with. Let’s forget it and move on.”
“You always were like a drug. It’s why I had to stop cold turkey.” That voice, low and deep, dropping the way it had when he used to whisper in her ear, urging her to let go.
She shook her head. She had to stop thinking about that. It was bad enough when he treated her like a stranger, but now it was excruciating. “That was a long time ago. We were kids.”
The intensity in his gaze pinned her to her spot. “Now that I’ve fallen off the wagon, all I can think about is touching you again. Tasting you.”
She sucked in a breath. And here they were, the consequences of her actions staring her in the face. It was the worst thing about him, because with him, all she could think was, just once. Just one more time. If she could touch him one more time maybe she could move on.
But it was a lie.
And no matter how badly she wanted a fix, his mouth on hers wouldn’t change anything. She needed to get them back to where they’d been: slightly antagonistic strangers. She steeled her spine. “I’m not fifteen anymore. I can’t fix what’s wrong with you.”
He stalked around the counter and stopped in front of her, standing far too close, and that familiar ache built inside her. “That’s not it.”
“It is. I can’t be your salve, Evan. Not anymore.”
He searched her face, his expression creased in frustration. “I don’t care what you say, I know you feel it.”
She did. She felt it everywhere, like all her cells were urging her toward him. Toward home. She would not give in. “You should go.”
He reached for her, and instead of moving away like she should, she remained rooted in her spot. His big hand curled around her neck, and he worked his fingers through the strands, tugging at the band holding her hair back.
Her breath increased and she licked her lips, thought about all the things she should say, and said none of them.
She didn’t push him away. She would. Soon. In just one minute.
He pulled the band free and tossed it on the counter. Her hair tumbled around her shoulders.
“Jesus, this hair.” He stepped closer. “It was always my downfall.”
“Evan,” she said, her voice coming out like a rasp. “Please.”
“Please what?” He pressed against her and her whole body sprang to life. Rushing with adrenaline. He tangled his hand in her hair, the strands
sliding through his fingers, so achingly familiar she had to fight to keep her eyes open.
“Please . . .” She trailed off, as her body burned up.
He rubbed a thumb over her lips. “Tell me you don’t think about it. Tell me you haven’t pictured every single thing I’ve ever done to you a million times.”
Temptation was a live, hot thing burning inside her. Begging her to give in. It would be so easy to let him overtake her. They probably wouldn’t even make it to the bedroom. But it was time to be strong and put an end to this madness.
She put her hand on his chest, and the muscles jumped under her touch. “I have. But you know what I remember even more? The way you took my virginity and tossed it in my face the next morning. And I sure as hell remember all the women you’ve paraded in front of me over the last sixteen years while you treated me like I barely existed.”
God, no. Why had she said that? It was far too telling.
She’d sacrificed the truth, but hit her intended mark.
His head snapped as though she’d slapped him, and the hot, desperate look in his eyes slid away. He released his hold and stepped back.
She missed him already. Body tense, she held her breath, waiting for the smug, playboy arrogance she knew so well to appear.
Instead, he ran his hand through his hair and blew out a breath. “You’re right. I deserve that. I won’t bother you again.”
Shaken, she crossed her arms over her chest. “So, back to normal.”
“That’s what you want, isn’t it?” His gaze searched.
No, that wasn’t what she wanted. But it was what she’d get. Because it was the only emotionally healthy option, and she would not be sucked into that place where rational behavior didn’t matter.
“That’s what I want.” Hating the nagging desire that wished he’d push. To overcome her anger until she could think of nothing but the feel of his hard body on hers. Needing to sever the ties trying to weave their way through the wall between them, she gave him her most scornful look. “You’ll have to find another woman to fuck your troubles away.”
His expression turned stormy, his mouth twisting. He shook his head, retreating farther. “Fine, Penny. Sorry I bothered you.”
Then he turned and walked away.
A second later the door slammed, shutting the final chapter on the Evan and Penelope drama once and for all.
Chapter Five
“Do we have a deal?” Penelope asked, her gaze leveled on the man across from her, her hands folded neatly on the table.
Other than a slight shifting in his chair, Adam Hayes gave no indication she had him on the ropes. They were sitting in the Donovan Corporation’s boardroom, with her people on one side, his on the other, in the final stages of the deal they’d been negotiating for months. Despite her new position, Shane had a bit of trouble giving up control. She’d had to talk him into letting her handle the project; to prove she could handle the opportunity and challenge and earn the title he’d given her. And now it was in her grasp and she was about to reap the fruits of her labor.
“Is this your final position?” Adam rolled a pen between his thumb and forefinger, as though contemplating the terms of the contract that would result in the biggest deal of the year, outside their contracts with the city, increase company revenue by ten percent, and potentially expand their reach outside Chicago.
A deal she’d found, cultivated, spent many late nights and weekends on.
Her heart fluttered, but she gave no outward sign of her excitement. She nodded. “Yes.”
A thick silence fell over the table as Adam watched her with narrowed eyes. Flanked by each other’s teams, there was a collective hush as Penelope sat there, unflinching.
Finally, Adam broke out into a grin. “I think we can work with this.”
All the tension coiled inside her released, and she stood, holding out her hand. “Fantastic. We’ll get legal working on the contracts right away.”
Adam followed suit, rising and accepting her hand, which he shook vigorously. “You drive a hard bargain, Ms. Watkins.”
Penelope smiled at him. “Oh, I think you’re going to benefit quite nicely.”
“I wouldn’t be here if that wasn’t the case.” He extended his head in a brief nod before squeezing her fingers one last time. “I hope Donovan realizes how lucky he is.”
Penelope stacked iPad and phone into a neat pile. “I’ll be sure to remind him.”
“Where is he? I’ll remind him myself,” Adam said.
Penelope had purposely scheduled this final meeting when Shane was out of the building, to ensure the ink on the deal was entirely of her own doing. She had something to prove, and when she made her points with Shane she made sure to leave no stone unturned.
Which is why she won all of their arguments.
Penelope frowned slightly. “I’m sorry, I’m afraid Shane’s tied up at the mayor’s office and won’t be back until late this afternoon.”
Adam nodded and buttoned his suit jacket. “I’ll give him a call. It’s been a pleasure doing business with you, although I suspect I would have gotten a better deal with Donovan.”
Penelope laughed. “Yes, well, that’s probably true.”
Ten minutes later she texted Shane and told him they’d come to terms with Hayes.
He texted back. You pulled it off. I didn’t think it could be done but I should have known better. I suppose you’ll be looking for a raise.
She smiled. Of course.
Done.
She chuckled. You’re so easy. I’ll let you know what I’m worth.
Why am I not surprised?
Thirty seconds later he texted again. Congratulations. I’m proud of you. I owe you dinner at Alinea so we can celebrate. Name the time and place and I’ll get it done.
Her heart swelled. Maybe it was silly, but Shane was like the big brother she’d never had and she wanted him to be proud. To continue to prove to him she was the smartest business decision he’d ever made.
Deal.
She had a fleeting thought to call her parents down in Florida, just for some official family support, but abandoned the idea. God bless them, they tried, but they really didn’t understand what she did. They thought she was Shane’s secretary and, according to her old-fashioned father, she’d wasted all that money on college when she could have gone to secretarial school and accomplished the same thing. The day she’d gone off to college, her mom had patted her on the hand and told her to learn how to type and find a good provider to take care of her. It’s not that they weren’t proud of her; they just came from a different generation and didn’t understand her.
So she called Sophie, and when her friend picked up she said, “I did it. I closed the deal.”
Sophie let out a squeal of excitement, showing all the proper enthusiasm required, and Penelope grinned like a maniac as Soph hooted and hollered and clapped into the phone.
When she’d finally calmed down, Sophie said, “It’s Friday and this calls for celebration. We are going out on the town. It’s time to party.”
Penelope laughed. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
“I know just the place, it’s the hottest club, it’s opening weekend, and I have an exclusive invite.” As a PR executive for an entertainment company, Sophie had access to all the latest happenings around town, and club managers everywhere wanted her to show up. A couple of years ago she’d started a blog called Chicago After Dark, and everyone who was anyone in the city knew if you wanted to make it, you needed to land on Sophie’s places-to-be list.
Unable to stop grinning, Penelope sighed. “Is this one of those places you can’t go to until after eleven?”
“Of course. We’ll go to dinner first,” Sophie said. “I wish Maddie was in town and she could come too.”
“Me too.” Penelope was thrilled Maddie was happy living with her husband in the small town of Revival, but she missed her terribly. While they still saw her fairly regularly, it wasn’t the same.
“We’ll just have to drunk-text her all night so she doesn’t feel left out.” Sophie’s voice was filled with maniacal glee.
Penelope laughed. “I’m sure Mitch will love that.”
“He’ll live. He gets her all the time, the least he can do is offer a consolation prize.” Sophie huffed and Penelope could just picture her standing there tossing her long, blond hair over her shoulder in indignation. “We’ll Uber so you can relax about being a designated driver. I’ll pick you up at eight.”
And then she was gone.
Penelope sat down in her chair, relaxed for the first time in weeks. She glanced at her calendar and saw she didn’t have any meetings after four. Divine intervention if she ever saw one. She’d go to Nordstrom after work, buy a new dress and a new pair of shoes.
Tonight, she celebrated.
* * *
Why had Evan thought this was a good idea? Without alcohol to dull his brain, the music in the club was too loud, and even the VIP lounge was too crowded. A gorgeous, Victoria’s Secret angel from Brazil named Rafaela Barros sat to his left and was practically trying to climb into his lap.
With waist-length, golden-brown hair, vivid hazel eyes, tanned skin and legs that went on for miles, she captured every male eye in the room, and she knew it. Once, she’d been a regular hookup and exactly the type of woman he’d always stuck with. Wild in bed. Uncomplicated. And, most important, not interested in commitment.
He’d been trying to work up some enthusiasm, but it wasn’t happening. When he’d called his old teammate he’d convinced himself if he just got back on the wagon he’d be good to go.
All it would take was one hookup and he’d forget about this craziness with Penelope. Forget the way she trembled under his touch. Forget the way her electric-blue eyes seemed to peer right into him.
If he took Rafaela home he could go back to putting Penelope in the box he’d assigned her the day he’d walked out of her life.
As Good as New Page 5
