As Good as New

by Jennifer Dawson

  “I’m listening.”

  “You know the benefit tomorrow night?”

  He nodded.

  “I’m, um, going with Logan.”

  He straightened, and a stab of possessiveness pierced his chest. His voice lost all trace of seduction. “And?”

  Her lashes fluttered, and even in the dark her eyes were a startling blue, clear and direct. “And, well, they all know we’re friends, and I was acting so strange. They wouldn’t stop asking what was wrong and . . . well . . . I said I wanted to sleep with him.”

  Just the thought of her with another man made him want to punch something. He gripped her neck and growled. “Over my dead fucking body.”

  She took a little stuttered inhale of breath and he knew the possessiveness flipped her switch. A switch she couldn’t hide from him with too much champagne rushing through her system.

  She whispered, “There’s more.”

  His fingers tightened. “What?”

  She leaned her head against the brick, exposing her neck further and moaned.

  “Christ, Penelope.” His voice sounded guttural.

  She straightened. “Sorry.”

  “What else?” He needed to know before he lost his train of thought.

  “Maddie and Sophie thought I needed flirting techniques.” She puffed out her bottom lip in a pout. “I guess they think I’m inadequate.”

  He couldn’t help the smile that twitched at his lips. “That just shows what they know.”

  “I know I’m not a good flirter.”

  “And thank God for that.” He pressed into her and his erection brushed her belly. “I don’t think I could survive. Is there more?”

  Her hands slid up his arms. “Yes.”

  “What?”

  She met his gaze. “They thought you would be the perfect person to practice on.”

  He laughed. “Well, isn’t this a lucky turn of events.”

  “This isn’t funny, Evan.”

  “It is a little bit.”

  She frowned. “So you’ll help me flirt with Logan?”

  “Not in a million years.” He placed his hands on either side of her head. “You’re mine and nobody else can have you.”

  Another breathy inhale. “Don’t say things like that.”

  “Why? When you like it so much.”

  “It’s not true.” She swallowed hard.

  “Isn’t it?” He gripped her thigh and lifted so she hooked onto his hip.

  She rose to meet him, her head once again resting on the brick. “No.”

  “Your body begs to differ.”

  She shifted, finding that place only she fit. “Why are you torturing me this way?”

  “It’s torture for me too, Penelope.” He leaned down close and whispered against the shell of her ear. “You’re not alone.”

  She twined her hands around his neck. “But you won’t even kiss me.”

  “Do you want me to kiss you?”

  “Yes,” she said, and her lips brushed the line of his jaw, making him ache. “But you won’t.”

  He lifted his head. “It’s not from lack of wanting.”

  Her chin trembled. “That’s how it feels.”

  Maybe it was silly, and maybe they were too far gone. But he wanted to give her all the things she deserved, which proved impossible considering she practically burned him up every time they were in the same room. He brushed his thumb over her lips. “I’m trying to give you the courtship you deserve.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Stunned, Penelope could only stare at him, openmouthed. Maybe her champagne-addled brain was hearing things. “What?”

  “You deserve better than what I gave you all those years ago. And I want the chance to make it up to you.”

  She blinked against the sudden swell of tears. It might be the sweetest thing he’d ever said to her, and she was at a loss for words. “Oh.”

  He brushed a path down her cheek. “I just can’t seem to do that and touch you at the same time.”

  She licked her lips. “Are they mutually exclusive?”

  “For me, they are.” His thumb stroked the line of her jaw. “I’m like an addict with you, and now that I’ve fallen off the wagon, all I can think about is going on a bender.”

  Yes. That was the perfect description. “It’s all off-kilter now.”

  “Once we start, we won’t stop.”

  “I know.” She met his gaze and told him the truth. “I don’t want to stop, Evan.”

  Something pained crossed over his features. “I have this plan about being good and chivalrous, but you’re not helping.”

  Maybe it was the alcohol, or the dinner last night, or every second they’d been together since she went to his apartment, but his words melted her heart and healed something deep inside her. She leaned into him, trailing her mouth over the line of his jaw. “Maybe you should leave the plans to me.”

  He groaned and rocked into her.

  She pressed back. “It’s been so long.”

  Against the shell of her ear, he said, “I swear to God, Penelope, nobody has ever been as good as you.”

  She wanted so badly to believe him, and right here, right now, she did. The wounds of the past couldn’t mask the chemistry that crackled and sparked between them. “Me too.”

  He ran his hand up her stomach and cupped her breast. “We won’t be able to stop.”

  She arched into his touch, her mind going blank as her body took over. “We’ve stopped a million times.”

  He rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. “I don’t want to take you against a wall.”

  She let out a deep breath. She needed him to understand what he did to her. How he made her feel. And how much she needed what only he could give her right now. “I’ve dated plenty of chivalrous men over the years and when I was with them, do you know what I thought about? You. Everything you ever did or said to me. I don’t want you nice. I don’t want you careful. I want you. The way you really are. You ruined me that way and I can’t go back. I don’t want to.”

  Their gazes locked and for a fraction of a second the whole world seemed to still.

  Then he grabbed her by the neck, and his mouth slammed down on hers.

  It was a kiss years in the making.

  Every pent-up, frustrated, angry emotion they’d ever had seemed to be poured into it.

  He growled low in his throat and she answered back with a fierce, primal sound of her own. Their hands were everywhere, roaming and needy. Their tongues clashed.

  She couldn’t get close enough.

  His fingers buried in her hair.

  Her nails dug into his arms.

  He pressed her against the wall, rocking hard into her.

  She arched.

  He surged.

  It was so damn good. Everything she remembered and more. So much more.

  He slanted his mouth deeper over hers and she was so desperate she tried to crawl into him. She slid her hands under his shirt and her nails raked down his back.

  He grunted, and rolled his hips in the same dirty motion as his tongue.

  She pulled away. “More. I need more.”

  “You have no idea what I want to do to you.”

  “Yes, I do,” she said, and their lips fused together, their breathing harsh and panting in the night air. “Do it.”

  She got lost in the feel of his mouth. His tongue and teeth. His arms strong around her. Roaming, frantic hands. The sounds of their gasping neediness as they fought to get closer. To make up for years of wanting, greedy lust.

  There was a loud clapping noise and they broke apart. Disoriented, her lungs burning, she looked around to find Gracie standing over the rails looking down at them. “I’ve been calling your name for a minute.”

  Evan stepped back and ran his hand through his hair. “Gracie, um.”

  She held up her hands. “Save it. Everyone is starting to wonder. You’re lucky I jumped up to find you before anyone else. You need to pull it t
ogether, kids.”

  Questions filled Evan’s expression as he shot Penelope a sideways glance.

  She shrugged, still trying to catch her breath. “She kind of guessed after we had dinner at their house.”

  Gracie looked back over her shoulder. “You’d better get in there, they’re holding dinner and getting impatient.”

  Evan nodded. “Give us a minute.”

  Gracie raised a brow. “I can’t promise I’ll be the one to come out here next.”

  “A minute,” he said, his voice gruff and filled with authority.

  Gracie winked. “You Donovan boys sure do have a way about you. I would have loved to have met your daddy.”

  “Now, Gracie,” Evan said as though he was on the edge of his patience.

  “All right, I’m going, but hurry.” Gracie took her leave and Penelope turned back to Evan.

  His expression was unreadable. “You told Gracie.”

  Someone knew besides the two of them, and Penelope wasn’t sure how he’d take it. That feeling she used to get when they were teenagers and he looked right through her sat heavy in her stomach. She straightened her shoulders. “She guessed, and even when I denied it she didn’t believe me.”

  “Good.”

  It surprised her. And pleased her. “You’re not upset?”

  “No.” He hooked his finger through her belt loop. “Did you drive?”

  She shook her head.

  “I’ll drive you home.” His voice was implacable.

  “I’m supposed to go home with Soph.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest. “Did they or did they not give you the perfect excuse to be alone with me?”

  That tension eased and pooled before disappearing altogether. He wasn’t going to let her slip away because they were around people who knew them. She needed this. Needed to get him out of her system. It was the only way, and it was inevitable. She understood that now. She didn’t want to escape. Not anymore. “They’re helpful that way.”

  His gaze raked over her. “You look like you’ve been fooling around.”

  “So do you.”

  His attention drifted to her mouth. “Two more minutes and I’d have been inside you.”

  She sighed. “Don’t be a tease.”

  He shook his head. “What in the hell am I going to do with you?”

  Maybe it was the champagne, or maybe it was just him, but she wanted exactly what he’d give her. Now that she’d had a taste of it again, she was like a glutton, and she didn’t want to pretend otherwise. “You can run your ideas past me later tonight.”

  He clenched his hands into fists. “I will keep my hands to myself.”

  She laughed. “Good luck with that.”

  She flipped her hair and turned around only to be hauled back against his chest. He slid his hands into the waistband of her jeans, into her panties to stroke her wet flesh.

  She gasped as he circled her clit once, twice, three times. And then he was gone. “You too, little Penny.”

  * * *

  Dinner was his own personal version of hell.

  He’d spent a thousand dinners, events, and weekends in Penelope’s presence, not touching her, so technically he had plenty of practice, but it was like he’d used up all his willpower and now had nothing left to give.

  Across from him she sat, with that fuck-me hair, in her tight black top and skinny jeans that made her legs look endless, all smiles and buzzed laughter, taunting him. Making him crazy.

  He cursed Shane and his open floor plan where there was nowhere to drag her off to. How had he ever managed to resist her? Well, he knew how, but those reasons seemed like a lifetime ago.

  He could still feel her mouth under him. Still catch her scent on the air. Could still feel their wildness. All that vibrating anticipation coiled tight and ready to explode. They’d barely spoken, barely even glanced at each other, but it filled up all the space.

  It was all he could think about and he was shocked nobody noticed.

  Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as she made her way into the bathroom.

  He got up and refilled his wine, and Gracie followed him into the kitchen, supposedly to get her cupcakes, but he knew what she really wanted.

  From the table, Shane said, “Grab the whiskey, it’s on the top shelf in the pantry.”

  Evan went and Gracie followed him. He frowned at her. “I’ve got it.”

  She pointed to the big plastic container lining the shelf. “I’m getting the dessert.” She grinned. “But now that I got you alone, we need to talk.”

  He rolled his eyes at who he was pretty sure would be his future sister-in-law, although James hadn’t asked her yet. God only knew what his brother waited for. Probably still working on his five-year plan before he made it official. Evan pointed at the etched, frosted door of the pantry. “I can’t be alone with you. You know how Jimmy is.”

  Gracie waved a hand. “Don’t be ridiculous. Besides, I kept the door open.”

  Fine, she wouldn’t be dissuaded, but he didn’t plan on talking. He shook his head. “I’m not going to discuss her with you.”

  “I expected as much, but I have one thing to say.” Gracie’s expression got all stern and she jabbed a finger into his chest. “If you hurt her, I will gut you. Do you understand me?”

  Evan narrowed his eyes, giving her the same menacing stare he used to give cornerbacks. “If I hurt her, I’ll deserve it.”

  Gracie tilted her head and peered at him, giving him a searching look that made him uncomfortable. “You know, it’s hard not to think of you as a womanizing man-whore.”

  Evan grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the top shelf. “Gee, thanks.”

  Gracie crossed her arms over her chest. “You had me convinced, but then I see how you look at her and I know it’s an act. You care about her, don’t you?”

  “Is this any of your business?”

  Gracie shrugged. “No, not really. But since I’m the only person who’s smart enough to figure it out, I’ve appointed myself her guardian.”

  “Lucky me.”

  “I just want to be sure. After what I saw in the yard, I know you have passion, but sometimes that’s not enough.”

  Evan relaxed. Gracie wasn’t here to gossip; she cared about Penelope and wanted what was best for her. And truthfully, he was glad she had someone to talk to and watch her back. He gave Gracie a level-eyed stare and said as sincerely as possible, “It’s always been her.”

  Gracie smiled. “You know, I actually believe that.”

  “That’s because it’s true.”

  Gracie grabbed her container and nodded. “Then become the man she deserves.”

  That’s exactly what he was trying to do. “I intend to.”

  They exited the pantry, shutting the door behind them and returning to the table.

  A second later Penelope wandered back into the kitchen, tossing her hair over her shoulder as her gaze flicked over him, then darted away. It reminded him of when she was a teenager, all those furtive glances she used to give him when she assumed he wasn’t paying attention.

  Back then he’d never allowed himself to linger over her or catch her gaze, fearing it would reveal too much, but he did now and their eyes caught and held.

  His breath hitched in his chest. He wondered if she was still wet. Still aching for him the way he was for her. He’d find out soon enough.

  She sat down, directly across from him.

  He nodded at her water. “Have you recovered from the bottle of champagne you drank?”

  “All better,” she said, and then stretched. Her top rode high up her stomach, revealing a stretch of smooth skin. “But I could use a nap.”

  He hoped not, because she wasn’t going to be getting any sleep.

  Shane pointed to the stairs. “You can lie down if you need to.”

  She shook her head and yawned, although Evan thought it might be fake. “It’s getting late, and tomorrow will be a crazy day with the benefit.”


  Sophie perked up and waggled her eyebrows. “And I’m sure an even more eventful night.”

  Oh, it would be, although not in the way Sophie imagined. Evan liked Logan perfectly fine, but the man would not touch Penelope.

  Maddie grinned. “You’ll need a lot of rest, Pen. Make sure you sleep extra late.”

  Mitch peered at his wife. “What are you up to?”

  “Not a thing,” Maddie said.

  “Liar,” Mitch shot back, suspicion etched in the corners of his mouth.

  Penelope yawned again. “It is that time. You know I need my full eight hours.”

  Sophie huffed. “It’s ten o’clock, but all right, I guess we can leave.”

  And there was Evan’s cue. He shook his head. “I’ve got her. You go ahead and stay, Soph.”

  “You sure?” Sophie asked.

  “We can take her home,” James said.

  Gracie started shaking her head. “Oh please, can’t we stay? It’s been a long week and I need fun.”

  James raised a brow. “Am I not fun?”

  Gracie’s bottom lip puffed out. “Of course you are, but it’s been so long since I’ve seen Mitch and Maddie. I miss them.”

  James looked at Evan through his wire-rimmed glasses. “Are you sure you don’t mind?”

  Evan would have kissed Gracie, but his brother would punch him. Instead he rose. “I’m tired anyway, and Penelope’s on my way. You guys stay.”

  Shane peered at him and nodded at Penelope. “Be safe, she’s my most prized employee.”

  Penelope grinned at his oldest brother. “You just don’t want to have to do any work.”

  Shane laughed. “You know me too well.”

  Evan felt irrationally irritated at Shane’s closeness with Penelope. They shared something Evan didn’t know anything about, and in all those years Evan had to stay away, Shane had gotten to experience everything about her life. Evan supposed his only consolation was he knew her deep, dark secrets. He looked at Penelope. “You ready?”

  She rose from the chair with her customary poise. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

  Sophie called after them, “Don’t forget to get your rest.”

  “Yeah,” Maddie said, before giggling. “And wear that red dress Sophie talked you into the last time we went shopping.”