As Good as New

by Jennifer Dawson

  He walked around the kitchen island to stand next to her, running his large palm over her back in a slow circle. “You don’t want to take it, do you?”

  That she’d been so obvious had her spine snapping ruler straight. “Of course I do. It’s the smart, practical thing to do and I’m a smart, practical person. It fixes the mistake and the problem is resolved. I mean, God, could you even imagine?”

  She picked up the package and, jaw clenched, she started ripping into it. “I’ve got to take it now, so I’ll have time to take the second pill in twelve hours.”

  He didn’t say anything but she felt his heavy, watchful stare. She didn’t want him to know. She pulled out the pills encased on a cardboard flat. With shaking fingers she pushed the pill from the package and it fell into her open palm.

  She picked up the glass of water, determined to stop procrastinating. To stop letting these crazy thoughts distract her.

  Evan grabbed her wrist. “Penelope.”

  She blinked at him and the moment her eyes met his, her throat closed over.

  He shook his head. “I don’t want you to take it.”

  “What? Why? Of course I need to take it. We have to be smart about this.” Her heart hammered; he wanted the same thing she did.

  “When have we ever been smart?” he asked, his tone low and soothing.

  “But—” she began, but he cut her off.

  “You don’t want to take it. I don’t want you to take it. So don’t, and we’ll see what happens. Nature can decide for us.”

  Hope and fear and everything in between beat wildly in her chest. “That’s insane.”

  “It is,” he said, and a smile curved his lips. “Maybe we’ve always been insane and it’s just time we acknowledge it.”

  It was a safe risk. Considering how regular she was. At least she could assure him of that. “I’m not going to be pregnant. It’s the wrong time.”

  He shrugged. “If you are or you’re not, we’ll deal with it. But I don’t want you to take that pill. And I haven’t wanted you to since you brought it up last night.”

  She swallowed hard, the pill still in her palm like an unwanted weight. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “I was trying to be a good feminist.”

  She choked out a laugh. “What?”

  “You know, a woman’s right to choose and all that. But this morning when you were willing to put it off, I grew more hopeful.” He leaned in close. “Don’t take it, Pen.”

  Her lashes lifted, and her breath stuttered. “And if I am? Pregnant, I mean.”

  “Then you are.”

  She wanted to ask more what-ifs but didn’t. Her fingers tightened on the white pill. “It’s irresponsible.”

  “Yeah, it is. But we’re not teenagers anymore. We’re adults, we have money and resources.”

  She bit her lip. “Are you sure?”

  He released her wrist, then curled his hand around her neck. He brushed his lips over hers. “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”

  The knot of tension, sitting tight in her stomach, unraveled. “You’re right, I don’t want to take it.”

  “I know.” His tongue licked her bottom lip. “Throw it away.”

  She did. She just opened her palm over the kitchen sink and they watched it bounce along the edge of the stainless steel then disappear down the drain. She waited for the rush of panic that should envelop her at any moment, but it didn’t come. All she felt was happy.

  She looked back at Evan and he grinned at her and pulled her belt loop. “Hmmm . . . How should we celebrate?”

  She laughed. The man was insatiable. “Aren’t you tired yet?”

  His hand slid around her waist. “Nope. I have fifteen years to make up for.”

  She arched a brow. “And you’re trying to make them up in one day?”

  His gaze dipped to her lips. “Are you saying no?”

  “Have I ever said no to you?”

  “I think we have time for one more round before we have to get ready to go to the party from hell.” He lifted her to the counter, and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

  She kissed him, sucking in all that heat and strength, unable to get enough of his mouth on hers. Her tongue swirled over his and he moaned, pulling back long enough to whisper against her lips, “Condom.”

  “One more time won’t matter.” She’d clearly gone crazy and she didn’t even care. Just this once she would throw caution to the wind. She licked into his mouth and his grip on her hips tightened to the point of pain. “I want to feel you come inside me one more time.”

  “Christ, Penelope.” He ripped her top off, throwing it to the floor. And his T-shirt quickly followed suit.

  She’d gone off the deep end. That was the only reasonable explanation. But then his skin pressed against hers, and she vowed to think about it all later. Much, much later.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Evan pulled his truck into a parking spot, a half a block down from his mom’s bungalow. He pushed off the ignition switch and turned toward Penelope. “Ready?”

  She shook her head. “Nope.”

  “It’s pretty ridiculous, don’t you think?” Evan took her hand. “It kind of feels like we’re kids on our first date.”

  “It does.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. “Being late isn’t our brightest idea.”

  He smiled, hoping to ease her nerves. “I’m afraid that one’s on you.”

  She sighed. “I know.”

  Right before they were ready to leave, she’d dropped to her knees, right there on the kitchen floor, and he was only a mere mortal. He’d ended up taking her on the floor from behind, hard and rough, her body squeezing him like a vise, wringing every last bit of pleasure from him until he’d practically seen stars.

  She was all put together again, looking polished and sophisticated in a blue, flowy sleeveless top that matched her eyes. Her dark hair was smooth and shiny, cascading over her shoulders. There wasn’t a trace of the wildness she reserved just for him, but she still wore the evidence of him.

  Her mouth was still red and swollen, the color on her cheeks high, and there were faint marks he’d left on her neck. It pleased him, far more than was comfortable.

  He squeezed her hand. “We just have to rip off the Band-Aid and get it over with.”

  She looked at him, blinked, then looked away, brow furrowed.

  He tugged her wrist. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  Her lashes fluttered and her fingers twitched. She shook her head. “Nothing.”

  He gripped her chin. “You don’t think I know you well enough to know there’s something you’re not saying?” He released her and ran a finger down her arm. “Tell me.”

  She shook her head again. “It’s just, I don’t know what to say when they ask me.”

  “Tell them the truth.” He was done hiding her. Done hiding how he felt about her.

  “But . . .” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “What is the truth?”

  Then he got it, understood what was so clear in his mind wasn’t as clear in hers. “I guess we haven’t really talked about it.”

  “No, we haven’t.”

  He wanted to just lay it on the line, but that was too reminiscent of their past, when he’d held all the power in their relationship. He curled his hand around her neck and pulled her close, brushing his lips over hers, soft and gentle. Not letting himself get sucked into her mouth and the way she felt under his touch. “I want it all, Pen. I want us. I want the chance to fight for you the way I should have a long time ago. And I want the chance to be the man you deserve. If you’ll have me.”

  Her blue eyes turned bright and she blinked. “This isn’t because of football?”

  He shook his head. “No. That’s what I was trying to tell you the other night, only I screwed it all up. This, you, us—it’s been on my mind since the night of Shane and Cecilia’s wedding. What I didn’t say the other night, what I should have said, was I did come to you; I
just couldn’t get out of the car. You were on my mind far before I lost football. In fact, I don’t think you ever left.”

  She swallowed hard. “And if it doesn’t work?”

  His heart skipped a beat at the thought of losing her. “Do you think that’s a possibility?”

  She looked away. “I don’t know. This isn’t something we’ve ever done. We have no idea how we’ll function out there in the real world, not confined to four walls, illicit passion, and unlimited privacy.”

  As always, she had a point, even if he didn’t like it. “If it doesn’t work, at least we’ll know we tried, that we did something.”

  When she didn’t speak he rubbed her arm with the crook of his finger. “All I know is, all these years, you’ve overshadowed every relationship I’ve ever had. Can you honestly tell me it hasn’t been the same for you?”

  She sucked in a breath. “No.”

  An ego-driven, entirely inappropriate satisfaction filled his chest, but he pushed it aside. “You know what I want from you, where I stand—so tell me, Penelope, where do you stand?”

  He wanted the choice to be hers. She deserved that after all the years he’d kept her hidden away.

  She expelled the breath she seemed to be holding and clutched her hands in her lap. “I think we need closure, and how else can we get that if we don’t try and see what happens?”

  It wasn’t exactly an undying declaration of love, but it was a step forward. “And what do you think we should tell everyone?”

  She glanced at his childhood home located on the south side of Chicago, the windows lit up by bright light. “That we’re trying this out, and we’d appreciate if they’d respect our privacy.”

  He laughed. “Have you met my family?”

  The corners of her mouth lifted in a smile. “It’s worth a shot.”

  “That it is.” He leaned over and kissed her, long and slow. Filled with heat and promise and all the things they still hadn’t said to each other. When he pulled away, he said, “Just remember, one day this will be normal to them and we’ll be off their radar.”

  “We just have to make it through this one night.”

  “Exactly.”

  And together, they climbed out of the truck. He took her hand and put on his game face, ready to get this disaster over with.

  When they reached the front door she tugged away from him and he let her, knowing she was nervous and one of the ways she compensated for nerves was with extreme composure. But he wouldn’t leave her side, and whether she liked it or not, he’d do most of the talking. Take most of the heat.

  He opened the front door, and they were all there sitting in the living room. Sophie, Mitch and Maddie, Shane, his mom, and Great-Aunt Cathy, all stopped what they were doing and turned to face them. Well, at least they beat James and Gracie.

  Several long moments of extended silence passed where nobody seemed to move or even breathe.

  But then Great-Aunt Cathy clucked her tongue. “It’s about time you got here, boy. Do you know how long we’ve been waiting for supper? I’m an old lady with blood sugar issues.”

  “Sorry about that, Auntie,” Evan said, shutting the door and pressing a palm on the small of Penelope’s back. “Gracie and James aren’t here.”

  Aunt Cathy huffed and sat back on the sofa, arms crossed. “They had the decency to call and tell us to go on without them.”

  “I didn’t think of it.” Evan had been preoccupied with other things.

  An awkward hush fell over the room.

  Shane’s eyes narrowed on Evan, his jaw set in that hard, stubborn line. Cecilia, Evan’s sweet, perfect sister-in-law, patted her husband’s leg, and when he looked at her she shook her head.

  His head tilted and she raised a brow and they seemed to have some sort of silent conversation that left Shane shrugging.

  Evan’s mom shifted her gaze from him to Penelope, then back to him. “We’re having pizza.”

  Everyone else just stared at them, and Penelope shifted on the balls of her feet. Evan nodded. “Sounds good.”

  His mom glanced pointedly at Penelope. “That’s nice of you to give Penny a ride.”

  Mitch laughed. Maddie shot him a death glare.

  Sophie just kind of looked stunned.

  Next to him, Penelope cleared her throat. “My car is in the shop.”

  With that Shane scoffed. Cecilia dug her heel into the top of his shoe until he yelped and yelled, “Ouch, would you settle down, woman?”

  “Me? You’re telling me to settle down?” She pointed at her chest, looking regal and sophisticated, entirely befitting of Chicago royalty. “You’d better not even start with me. You are on my list.”

  Shane rolled his eyes. “I’m always on your list.”

  “Because you go out of your way to drive me crazy,” she said, her voice refined and haughty.

  Shane slanted a glance at his wife, then leaned over and whispered something in her ear that made a healthy flush settle over Cecilia’s cheeks and a wide grin break out over her lips.

  Evan realized his mother was attempting to give them a polite out. A way to take the heat off. He looked down at Penelope, who looked up at him, her expression a mixture of pleading, hope, and exasperation.

  He decided not to prolong the inevitable and he shrugged at her.

  She sighed and shrugged back.

  He turned to his family and said, “Penelope’s car is fine. I drove Penelope here because I wanted to, not to do her a favor or be nice. I’ll probably be driving her to all family parties from now on. So you’d best get used to it and move on. This isn’t open to discussion.”

  Next to him, Penelope shook her head and rubbed her temples.

  Shane opened his mouth to say something, but before he could get any words out the front door slammed open and Gracie flew into the room like a mini tornado, followed by a more subdued James.

  Gracie pushed passed Evan and Penelope, held out her hand and screamed, “We’re getting married!”

  James smiled, shook his head and shoved his hands into his pockets.

  All the focus that had been on Evan and Penelope shifted. Everyone started talking at once and there was a mad rush from the couch and chairs as they stormed James and Gracie. Gracie flashed the ring and jumped up and down, clearly on cloud nine.

  Penelope grinned up at Evan. “James was always my favorite Donovan.”

  He laughed and they went over to congratulate the happy couple. When he got there, he clapped his middle brother on the back with one hand, and took Penelope’s with the other. “Congratulations, it’s about time. Leave it to you to land the great Gracie Roberts.”

  Behind his wire-framed glasses, James slanted a glance at his fiancée, basking in all the oohs and aahs over her ring, and smiled. “Piece of cake.” He turned a pointed look at Penelope, who was paying elaborate attention to the bride-to-be while her fingers remained tight in Evan’s. “You seemed to fare all right in the end.”

  Evan nodded. “I managed to figure it out.”

  “You’re welcome, by the way,” James said, grinning. “You owe me one.”

  Evan gave Penelope a little squeeze and she squeezed back. “That I do.”

  The pressure was off, at least for now.

  * * *

  Maddie and Sophie ambushed Penelope when she stepped out of the bathroom. Maddie stood there, her arms crossed. “You’ve avoided us long enough.”

  Sophie stood in an identical posture, nodding furiously. “You’ve got some serious explaining to do.”

  Penelope straightened, lengthening her spine until she towered over her much shorter friends. “Isn’t that my line?”

  “Not this time,” Maddie said, grabbing her by the elbow.

  Sophie flanked her, and the two of them pushed her into the deserted kitchen at the back of the house.

  Maddie whirled on her. “Evan? Are you serious? Evan?!?”

  Penelope tried to remind herself her friends had no idea of her past with the Donova
n-family bad boy. But this wasn’t the time to explain everything. She rested against the countertop and tried to look as casual as she could. “What’s wrong with Evan?”

  Maddie’s expression turned dumbfounded. “He brought a Playboy bunny to my aunt and uncle’s anniversary party.”

  Yes, he had. Penelope recalled every detail of trying to ignore them. She waved a hand. “That was a long time ago.”

  Maddie opened her mouth to speak, but Sophie held up a hand to stop her. “Maybe you’re not the best person to have this discussion, since Evan is your brother.”

  Maddie cocked a hip. “By all means, talk some sense into her.”

  Sophie nodded and eyed Penelope. “Look, I get it. Evan is, like, smoking hot.”

  “Ewww,” Maddie said.

  Sophie shushed her and returned her attention to Penelope. “Anyway. Since I’m not his sister, I understand. Not only is he gorgeous but he’s got that whole dangerous, bad-boy thing going on, and maybe you’re just tired of walking the straight and narrow. But you’re not a casual sex kind of girl, and Evan is definitely a casual sex kind of guy. We don’t want you to get hurt.”

  It was Maddie’s turn to nod. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love him to pieces, but he’s not the kind of guy you take home to your mother.”

  “There are better guys to take a walk on the wild side with,” Sophie said.

  “Ones who aren’t as much of a risk,” Maddie continued.

  They’d clearly talked about the situation and made all the correct decisions for her while she was off having nonstop sex with Evan.

  Sophie sighed. “Unfortunately, we’ve known you too long. We know your dirty little secret.”

  “Which is?” she asked, still stalling for time. Unsure how to explain to her friends she had real, actual dirty little secrets they had no idea about.

  Sophie glanced around, as though about to confess something torrid. “That you’re as pure as the driven snow, completely monogamous, loyal, and faithful.”

  Maddie gave a little humph. “Everything Evan is not.”

  “What’s going on in here?” Evan stood in the door frame, his broad shoulders propped against the wood molding.