Follies and Nonsense

by Martin Hunnicutt

Nodding his head, Foster said, “I have often observed how quickly the heirs move into an inheritance. Sometimes they do not wait for the grave to be filled in before they take possession down to the sheets and bedpans.”

  “Is the Collins fellow still about?” asked Fitzwilliam.

  Foster shook his head, “He departed Saturday last for Kent and the proprietor of the inn was glad to see the back of the clergyman. The man tried to short the maids in the tavern room and did not know cards.”

  The tent flap was pulled back and Wickham stepped into the tent though he forgot to salute his commanding officer when he saw Richard Fitzwilliam rising from his chair.

  “You will salute your commanding officers lieutenant!” Fitzwilliam exclaimed. “I am certain Colonel Foster can provide you with memorable duties that will make remembering to salute much easier in the future!”

  Wickham’s arm snapped with his salute and he remained at attention while Colonel Fitzwilliam walked around him.

  “You resemble an officer in service to the king, Mr. Wickham,” Fitzwilliam said. “Time will tell if you can fill the boots of better men.”

  Wickham smiled his infamous smile that so captured lady’s hearts and engendered trust in men but Fitzwilliam who knew the man underneath was not fooled. He asked several questions about the first week of training and the barracks. Finally, Colonel Fitzwilliam turned back to their host. “Colonel Foster, I believe this young officer should be transferred into my regiment. Would you like that Wickham? I will make you a captain!”

  For a moment, Wickham stared in disbelief at Colonel Fitzwilliam though Colonel Foster exclaimed in surprise, “Come to steal a good man out from under me, Fitzwilliam?”

  Forgotten on one side, Darcy remained silent and watched his cousin.

  “Thank you, sir, but I am not flush and cannot purchase a position in the regulars,” Wickham replied. “It took all that I had to purchase this commission.”

  “Oh, my cousin will see to that,” Fitzwilliam said casually, indicating Darcy sitting to the side.

  Wickham turned his face to Darcy and saw the cold mask that hid all emotions, but then there was the small nod of agreement that was as good as a signed and witnessed document. Glancing between Fitzwilliam and Darcy, Wickham’s smile was replaced with a smirk as he deduced, “Georgiana must want to marry me!”

  The lieutenant relaxed for the first time since stepping into the tent. “They want to buy me a position and then force me to marry Georgiana.”

  Believing the situation was in his advantage, Wickham said, “I could be persuaded to accept the promotion Colonel Fitzwilliam. A commission in the regulars would certainly improve my life’s situation.”

  In his mind, Wickham thought, ‘And an extra two thousand to pay my debts before I have Georgiana’s dowry. You are going to pay dearly Darcy to make your sister happy.’

  “Very good,” Fitzwilliam said catching Darcy’s eye and watching the twitch of his cousin’s lips. Now Darcy turned to Colonel Foster with an invitation from Mr. Bingley for the Colonel and his fiancé to come to dinner at Netherfield that same night.

  “And bring Lt. Wickham with you,” Darcy added. “He can entertain the ladies.”

  ++**++

  Chapter 28.

  Information from Derbyshire

  That same day, Elizabeth received her return express from Mr. Tanner, her steward in Derbyshire and it only confirmed her aunt’s earlier warnings.

  ++**++

  Mount Pleasant, Derbyshire

  My Lady – with all speed I urge you to take any steps necessary to protect yourself and your sisters from George Wickham – the man is a scoundrel who ruins more than reputations – he destroys lives wherever he goes.

  He grew up here in Derbyshire as his father was well known to me as the steward at Pemberley, our neighbour immediately north. The father was a hardworking man who married a beautiful woman and had the one son.

  The late Mr. George Darcy provided for the boy’s education – even paying for him to attend university with his own son. But young Wickham was sent down in the last year – he had ruined the daughter of one of the university’s professors and refused to marry the girl.

  Mr. George Darcy never believed any wrong of the young man and made provision in his will for a living to come to the man when he took orders. I am aware of this because the rector at Kympton expressed his reservations with the younger Mr. Darcy when he learned of the provision in Mr. George Darcy’s will. There were two families in the village of Kympton with daughters ruined by Wickham and the rector had had to console the families. Young Mr. Darcy provided dowries for both girls and found them husbands on his estates in Devon.

  Two years ago, when the rector at Kympton died, the late Earl of Bailey contacted young Mr. Darcy and expressed his grave concerns for the parish if Wickham were to take orders and receive the living. Mr. Darcy assured His Lordship that he was aware of the man’s unsuitability to be a clergyman and reported that Wickham had no interest in the living – he merely wanted the value of the living and agreed to depart Derbyshire for good.

  This occurred two years ago – as I wrote above – but I remember it particularly because His Lordship said the sum handed to Wickham would have been at least three thousand pounds. That a young man could waste that much money in so short a time that he had to enlist in the militia only proves his unsuitability to join with polite company.

  Warn your family and friends to bar this man from their homes Your Ladyship.

  Your Servant

  Augustus Tanner

  ++**++

  Only an hour later, an express arrived from Wiltshire as well.

  Lady Elizabeth

  In response to your inquiry, I can report that the late earl did not have a secretary or other servant with my responsibilities. His Lordship’s understanding – that mirrors my own – is that the earl was dependent upon his steward at Mount Pleasant and agents in town to handle his business letters.

  His Lordship asks that you write again with particulars of the situation in Meryton. We can be at your side in mere days if needed.

  Your Servant,

  Thomas Edgeworth

  On a second sheet, Lord Rutherford had penned a few words.

  My dear Elizabeth – Do you require my presence? Is this man any danger to you, to Matthew, or to your family? Trust Mr. Barrow to guard you and your boy. Do not allow this man to know who you are.

  LR

  ++**++

  With the information in hand, Elizabeth shared the new letters with Jane and Mary. After each one had read the pages, the sisters agreed that they would continue to bar Mr. Wickham from Longbourn.

  “I shall speak to Mr. Bingley,” Jane told her sisters. “He will make certain that the man is denied entry to Netherfield.”

  “But what of our friends in Meryton?” Mary asked. “He will be in company with many families and in their homes.”

  “I shall speak to Mr. Darcy,” Elizabeth said. “He will take steps and not permit him to take such liberties with young ladies in our vicinity.”

  ++**++

  “You should have gone on the stage, cousin,” Darcy told his cousin. Their horses walked along the road from Meryton to Netherfield and conversation was easy. “I believed you truly want Wickham for your brigade.”

  “I do,” Fitzwilliam replied. “I may not be able to kill him myself for what he did to Georgiana but I can arrange for Bonaparte’s troops in Spain to shoot him. I shall place him on the front lines in every battle until his good looks fail to stop a Frenchman’s bullets or bayonet.”

  “I would prefer to call him out and shoot him. Would that not be simpler?” Darcy asked.

  “And we would have to explain why we killed him,” Fitzwilliam reminded his cousin. “That would expose Georgiana to the world’s harsh judgments.”

  Darcy was silent, his face carved in stone for a moment. “I saw his face when you offered the commission and my funding it – he believes we are accommodatin
g him at Georgiana’s request and I expect he will raise his price tonight.”

  “Do you think it wise to have Wickham in polite company?”

  Darcy shrugged. “He cannot harm the ladies at dinner and we must keep him close to ensnare him. Charles will not mind.”

  “Do not agree to anything tonight,” Fitzwilliam cautioned. “He must think you reluctant to pay him more until after he has accepted the commission – only then will he be under my authority!”

  “If he slips through our fingers here in Meryton, we may never find him again,” Darcy warned. “I would prefer to see the dirt of the grave shovelled onto his face.”

  “It would be much more satisfying to dispatch him I agree, but then there would have to be an explanation and it could expose Georgiana.”

  Darcy nodded. “Her letters are much improved in spirit. I wanted to bring her here until I found Wickham lurking in the camp.”

  “Wait a fortnight,” Richard replied. “I will take him back to my camp outside of London and keep him busy until spring when we ship out. Before Bingley’s ball, you can bring Georgie into Hertfordshire and introduce her to your Mrs. Hamilton.”

  “She isn’t my Mrs. Hamilton!” Darcy insisted.

  “Not yet, but only because you have not worked up the courage to ask her,” Fitzwilliam replied. “Get on with it man. Some other fellow is liable to win her heart if you leave it for long.”

  “She may not have a dowry and her connections are few,” Darcy said.

  The colonel looked at his cousin strangely. “If you have more money and more connections, Parliament might elect you ‘king’ like the Americans or worse name you ‘protector’ like Cromwell. That would not be allowed; King George’s army would storm Pemberley and chop off your head.”

  “She is a widow and already has a child, a boy.”

  “That resolves one question – she can bear the sons you require to continue the Darcy name. We shall have to see if you are capable of siring sons.” Darcy suddenly pictured a babe in Elizabeth’s arms and imagined how strongly he would love the mother and child.

  “She has four unmarried sisters without dowries.”

  Fitzwilliam glanced at his cousin and frowned. “So, you may have brothers in professions or in trade. As long as you avoid some scoundrel such as Wickham as a brother, how can that harm you?”

  “Some of her relatives are not well mannered.”

  Fitzwilliam scowled before he said, “And how will you explain Lady Catherine to her?”

  Unable to respond, Darcy was silent for a moment and then confessed, “I have been bewitched by this woman for weeks, Richard. Even my valet knows that I am enamoured with her.”

  “And does the lady know of your tender regard? Does she return your interest?”

  Darcy shrugged. “I believe so though I have not declared myself!”

  “Ho! Ho!” Colonel Fitzwilliam laughed. “This will be an excellent evening. Promise me that you will not stand in a corner and glare the whole time.”

  “Mrs. Hamilton has been making me practice in conversation,” Darcy replied. “I do glare when it is appropriate but I also sit and converse with guests at every engagement. I even dance.”

  Fitzwilliam sat in amazement and silence until Darcy glanced his way and laughed at the look on his cousin’s face.

  ++**++

  Lt. George Wickham considered his latest opportunity as he walked back to the rough barracks that would be the winter quarters for the militia. He understood the army’s use of the soldiers to build their own quarters and to improve them during the fall and early winter but he did not enjoy the work required. After two weeks of camp life, his enthusiasm for the military life was rapidly waning.

  In the mess, Wickham found Lt. Denny, the acquaintance who told him of the militia’s search for new officers and brought him to Hertfordshire. Denny was at the table with the militia’s standard fare.

  “The food will be gone soon – grab some before it is all claimed,” Denny called.

  Without any supper in hand, Wickham joined his friend and said, “No army fare tonight for I dine with the colonel and gentry, Denny. No small beer and bread for me.”

  “How do you manage to land on your feet Wickham? Each time our pathways cross, heaven smiles upon you and grants your wishes! Ladies, gold and luck are yours!”

  Wickham sat beside Denny to tell him of his latest luck.

  “Within the month, I shall be married to an heiress with twenty thousand! I shall be promoted to captain in the regulars and retire the same week with a tasty young wife and her wealth to entertain me for the next ten years.” Denny’s face turned sour as Wickham kept talking.

  “Now, I take my leave to fetch my hat and coat,” the handsome man said as he rose from the table. “The colonel will be looking for me.”

  “I hope you choke on your bread tonight, Wickham!” Denny called after the man without any levity in his tone.

  ++**++

  Chapter 29.

  An Unpleasant Evening at Netherfield

  That evening, a rented carriage delivered Colonel Foster’s party to the stoop at Netherfield and they were the last guests to arrive. The colonel assisted his fiancé down and Wickham provided service for Mrs. Lincoln. The two ladies were neatly dressed and though their gowns were not of the latest fashion, their proximity to handsome officers in red coats made both ladies more appealing. The butler ushered the four guests into the parlour where they were welcomed by their host, his sisters and brother, and the other guests.

  Wickham was surprised to find the two eldest sisters from Longbourn in attendance. Since his meeting with them at the home of their Aunt Phillips the week before, the five sisters had not been into Meryton.

  “Mrs. Hamilton, I am glad to see you once again,” he greeted Elizabeth with his warmest smile and twinkling eyes. The lady should have stepped closer to join with him in quiet conversation but this time, she did not. “I had hoped to meet you and your fair sisters again in Meryton.”

  Distressed by the man’s attention, Elizabeth replied, “We have been occupied and busy with our cousin, Mr. Collins.”

  “And is your cousin in attendance tonight?”

  “No,” replied she. “He returned to Kent on Saturday and we have not heard from him this week.”

  “Ah… he has returned to the bosom of his patroness, Lady Catherine.”

  Rather than reopen the conversation about Lady Catherine, Elizabeth decided to push him away by saying, “Mr. Wickham, I am surprised to find you here tonight.”

  Disappointed, Wickham’s face fell into his sad, heart-wrenching gaze that never failed to stir sympathy with any woman. “Is it so hard to believe that I can join in discourse with the gentry and officers, Mrs. Hamilton?”

  “No,” she replied. “I understand you received a most excellent education but that you do not often return among your past acquaintances.” As she said this, Elizabeth pointedly looked at Mr. Darcy who was watching their conversation from a distance.

  “Ah… stories from Mr. Darcy,” Wickham said. “We are attempting to reconcile at the moment – for the sake of our families.”

  Elizabeth’s face was serious as she replied, “No, Mr. Darcy has not spoken of you. Acquaintances from Derbyshire have written to me with tales of lost virtue, squandered inheritances and wasted education. I believe several families in Derbyshire claim debt against you for daughters lost to them forever.”

  “Mrs. Hamilton, people write such strange stories! You must not believe the ramblings of envious shopkeepers and farmers.”

  “Why should I not Mr. Wickham?” Elizabeth cried, her voice growing louder and drawing Mr. Darcy’s attention. “The first time we ever sat and conversed, you lay the whole of your history with Mr. Darcy before me; and a sad tale it was, filled with dishonourable deeds and loss.”

  His face grim, Wickham considered how to quiet the woman without striking her. If she spoke of these tales for much longer, Colonel Foster would begin asking
questions.

  “I beg your pardon, Mrs. Hamilton,” Darcy said joining the pair and taking Elizabeth’s hand and placing it on his arm, before he turned to Wickham. “Wickham, I believe Colonel Foster requires your assistance to escort Mrs. Lincoln to supper.”

  Bowing slightly to Darcy and Elizabeth, the handsome man in the red coat stepped away to offer his arm to the matron and follow the colonel and his young fiancé from the parlour, down the hallway, and into the dining room.

  Elizabeth stood still, her hand on Mr. Darcy’s arm, watching Wickham follow Colonel Foster into dinner. Alone in the room, Darcy asked, “Are you quite alright Mrs. Hamilton?”

  Clearing her throat, Elizabeth replied by asking, “What is Mr. Wickham doing here?”

  Darcy glanced toward the disappearing back of Wickham for a moment and then back at Elizabeth. “It is difficult to explain this but I need him here tonight.”

  Stopping their steps, Elizabeth harshly asked, “Mr. Darcy, why did you invite that man tonight? How can he be in your company after what he did?”

  Now Darcy dropped her arm and took a step back.

  “What he did?” he asked angrily. “How do you know what he did?”

  Turning her full attention to Mr. Darcy now, Elizabeth’s mouth dropped open at his tone. He stood at his full height with his stormy countenance and would have sent most other ladies fleeing the room in fright but Elizabeth’s face only showed her concern.

  “What has he done to you?” she asked quietly.

  Darcy took a deep breath and calmed himself. “What do you know?”

  Inclining her head in acceptance of his question, she replied, “I have inquired among acquaintances in Derbyshire regarding Mr. Wickham’s past and his stories of misfortune at your hands, Mr. Darcy.”

  “His misfortune!” Again, the anger returned to Mr. Darcy’s face. “And what have you found?”