Southern Myths

by Amy Boyles

  “I’m not going to drink alcohol on a Sunday morning, even if my dragon’s been accused of trying to fricassee half the town.”

  “I heard it was three-quarters.”

  “Same thing.”

  A spark glinted in Betty’s eyes. “Magnolia Cove is dry on Sundays. You can’t buy liquor, but what’re they going to do if I’ve already got some?”

  She hummed as she made her way to a cabinet door. She opened it and returned with two tulip-shaped glasses and a flask with a golden liquid inside.

  “What’s that?”

  Betty smiled. “Honeysuckle wine. Only takes a thimble full to knock the edge off. Drink the whole thing and we’ll be taking you to the ER for alcohol poisoning.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Is that legal?”

  “Sort of.”

  “That doesn’t make me feel better.”

  “That might not, but this will.” She poured a teensy bit in the glass and pushed it over. “Drink up. It’ll help.”

  I grimaced, but then decided what the heck? I downed the glass. The small amount of liquid was barely enough to wet my tongue, but about half a minute later, my shoulders drooped, a sloppy smile spread across my face and I heaved a huge sigh as I sank farther into the chair.

  “Wow. That is some good stuff.”

  “Takes the edge off, right?” Betty said, grinning.

  “Sure does. That’s awesome. Well, where were we?”

  Betty paced, the pointy stick clasped behind her. “We were at ground zero, where Mysterio died.”

  I propped my chin in my palm and leaned forward. “I don’t understand why we’re there. Why are we at ground zero and why are we talking about Mysterio?”

  “Because I’m convinced all of this is linked—you receiving the dragon, Mysterio dying and everything else in between—even the dragon’s antics this morning.”

  “How do you know about that?”

  She wiggled her eyebrows. “I have my ways.”

  I splayed out my hand. “Wait. First of all, you’re the person who said that Uncle Donovan ordered the dragon to protect me.”

  “That’s what I thought. At first. But now I see how this plot has thickened and I’m convinced there’s more to it than that. Mysterio happened to walk in right after the dragon hatched? He died before returning the creature to you? Then the dragon spits fire into a crowd of creatures?”

  “Not to mention the note from my mother.”

  Betty cleared her throat. “There ain’t a note from your mother.”

  I backed up. “No need to get all redneck on me about it. Mysterio said there was a note. He even started to write it out. There is a note.”

  Betty’s head jerked left and right. “Kid, the only thing your mother ever would’ve wanted you to know is that she loved you with all her heart. To the moon and back, and all that crap.”

  “That’s not a nice thing to say,” I mumbled.

  “Well heck-in-a-handbasket, it’s true. If you want to chase ghosts and lies, keep looking for a note. If you want to figure out why Mysterio died, you can follow me.”

  “General Custer had a last stand and he died,” I said.

  “I’m General Betty.”

  “Betty Custer?”

  “Would you cut it out? You’re giving me a headache. This is how I see it. Someone wanted that dragon but Mysterio beat them to it. They then killed Mysterio hoping to get the creature for themselves. But somehow, you and I ended up on the scene, so they either hid or fled. Then you got the dragon and are sent on this stupid wild goose chase about a note. And now someone figures the best way to steal the dragon is if they make it look like the creature’s a loose cannon.”

  I rose. “It’s a dragon! It is a loose cannon.”

  Betty and Hugo stared at me. Hugo’s mouth drooped, making me feel like a horrible Mama. Which I was because I thought my baby familiar was a demon sent from hell to kill the populace.

  I mean, was it that far off?

  I inhaled another cleansing breath and rubbed my temples. I dropped to the chair. “Hattie Hollypop’s cat confirmed that Donovan bought the dragon for me, making your original theory correct. Now, I’m not saying Mysterio wasn’t killed for the dragon—there could be something there. Perhaps someone is trying to get Hugo. What do you propose we do about it?”

  Betty smacked the poker onto the map where we had discovered Mysterio. “Here. The scene of the crime. That’s where we need to begin our investigation.”

  “You realize there are cops who do this sort of thing.”

  “I’ve told you before—this town would implode if it weren’t for me.”

  That might be true. The week before, when Betty had been in jail under suspicion of murder, she’d had me perform the dirty tasks that kept the town in check. Including guard the Magnolia Cove werewolf to make sure he didn’t escape from his chain.

  Needless to say, that had gone completely wrong. Not only had I managed to let the werewolf escape, I also uncovered his identity.

  Axel Reign.

  My kind of boyfriend even though we were cooling our engines. Too bad he was one hot guy who looked amazing in clothes, kissed like a warrior with a gentle streak, and carried jelly beans in his pockets in case I was out.

  Yeah. That guy.

  Boy, I really need some space from him.

  Anyway, Axel was a werewolf, which didn’t bother me as much as it bothered him. I know, I know, my life’s complicated. I’ve got a werewolf for a boyfriend, a dragon for a familiar and General Custer for a grandma.

  It was lucky I was still sane.

  Resigned, I studied Betty, who was learning the board as if she were about to be tested on it. “Okay, so what do you suggest we do?”

  She stroked her chin. “We need to get to the heart of the matter and to do that, there’s a place we need to inspect. See if there are any clues.”

  “What place? I’ve already searched Mysterio’s room, where I found the ripped note about my mother, I’d like to add.”

  “Not there. Someplace else.”

  “Where?”

  Betty rubbed her fingers and smiled. “We need to get into Mysterio’s van.”

  My eyebrows rose. “The van? How’re we supposed to do that?”

  “We have to steal the key.”

  I facepalmed my forehead. “And where exactly are we going to steal the key from?”

  Betty’s mouth spread wide into a devilish grin. “From the police station.”

  “Are you kidding?”

  Betty shook her head. “Nope. And you’re the one who’s going to nab it.”

  FOURTEEN

  So that’s how I found myself standing outside the police station with Betty in tow. “Why aren’t we using magic to break into the van?”

  “Won’t work,” Betty said gruffly. “The cops will have warded the vehicle against it. We need the key.”

  I rubbed my temples, wishing to be a thousand miles away. “What’s your plan, exactly?”

  She glanced around as if we were up to no good, which did not make me feel confident that we were going to come anywhere close to succeeding. “Wait. We’re waiting for someone.”

  “Who?”

  “What’s all this about?” My cousin Cordelia strode up wearing a black linen jacket and jeans. She pulled her long hair over one shoulder and eyed the police station with what appeared to be concern.

  “Great, you’re here,” Betty said, clapping her on the arm. “You have to be the distraction so Pepper can grab the key.”

  “Oh, Lord,” I said.

  Cordelia rolled her eyes. “What’s going on?”

  Betty grabbed both of our wrists and yanked us into the bushes. In broad daylight. Nothing suspicious about three grown women hiding in bushes in front of a police station. We probably looked like three hookers trying to figure out how to bust our pimp out of jail.

  Scratch that—Betty was with us.

  That probably made us look more like hustlers trying to figure out
the best way to take down the station.

  Yeah, that was it.

  She snapped her fingers in my face. “Pay attention.”

  “I am,” I said.

  “Your eyes were all glassy like you were thinking about more important things.”

  “I probably was.”

  Betty pointed to the building. “I’ve got it on good authority that Garrick Young has the key to Mysterio’s van. It’s on his desk, from what I understand, or somewhere around there. Cordelia, you need to pull Garrick away from his office. Then, Pepper, you go in and nab the key. It’s easy to spot. It’s got black rubber covering the head of it.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “I saw it when Mysterio died,” she said. “Should’ve grabbed it then. Listen, you two go in together, Cordelia—pull Garrick out and Pepper you’re in. Got it?”

  I blinked at Betty. “And what are you going to do while the two of us are getting ourselves incarcerated?”

  “I’ll be supervising from here.”

  “That sounds fair,” Cordelia said. “I’ll try, but I don’t know if I can get him away from his desk.”

  “You think I don’t know about the two of you?” Betty said.

  Cordelia flushed red. My jaw dropped.

  “Okay,” Cordelia said, “we’ll be right back.”

  She grabbed my arm and yanked me from the bushes.

  “Garrick?” I said, dumbfounded.

  Cordelia slanted her gaze from mine. “Why do you sound so surprised?”

  “Oh. I’m not. I guess I’m not. Okay, I am. I didn’t see that one coming.”

  She fisted her hands. “It burns my butt that Betty figured it out. She thinks she’s so darn smart. Always one step ahead of everyone. I swear. Trying to keep a secret from her is like trying to keep one from God—impossible.”

  I smacked my lips. “I wouldn’t even try if I were you.”

  She laughed. It sounded a bit maniacal, like she was on the verge of needing a straightjacket or a bottle of whiskey. Maybe all she needed was some of that honeysuckle wine and she’d be okay. I decided to suggest it once we retrieved the key.

  We reached the door. She exhaled. “Garrick will kill me if he finds out we stole the key.”

  I smiled brightly. “Don’t worry. It’s not you. It’s me. Remember?”

  “Same thing practically, except for our hair color.”

  I laughed. “Come on.”

  We swept inside and I followed Cordelia to Garrick’s office. Wow. She must’ve already visited him at his office because she led me straight there.

  She knocked on the door and Garrick answered. I shrank away as Cordelia pulled him from the office.

  “Everything okay?” Garrick said.

  Cordelia shook her head. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

  I stayed out of sight as Garrick said, “Let’s go to the back.”

  They drifted off. I glanced around the office to make sure no one was looking in my direction. My heart hammered against my chest and blood rushed through my ears. Dear Lord, I would be burned toast if anyone saw me do this.

  But no one was looking.

  Perfect.

  I did a quick search-and-destroy eyeballing of Garrick’s desk and spotted the keys. I took a quick step in, snatched them from the desk and shoved them in my pocket.

  I turned around and bumped into a rock hard chest.

  I sucked in air as a whirlwind of butterflies kicked up in my stomach. Two hands grabbed my shoulders.

  “Whoa, there.”

  I exhaled as Axel righted me. “What’re you doing back here?”

  He quirked a brow. “Back? Yeah. I left. Returned to talk to the sheriff.”

  “You mean Garrick?”

  His eyes widened. “That’s the one.”

  Was he playing around? He knew Garrick from before the sheriff ever came to Magnolia Cove.

  I decided to ignore how weird Axel had been acting lately and scat.

  I opened my mouth, but I couldn’t tell him I was stealing a key so I could break into Mysterio’s impounded vehicle.

  What in the world would he think of me?

  He’d probably think that I was doing crazy Betty Craple’s dirty work, which would be a thousand percent right.

  I spoke quickly. “Anyway, I’m not doing anything. Cordelia came in to ask a question and she grabbed Garrick, who said he needed a pen. Oh, here’s one.” I yanked it from the desk and pivoted around him. “Oh look. I see Cordelia at the door. I don’t think she needed one after all.”

  He rubbed his neck. “See you around.”

  I gave him a limp wave. “Yeah. See you around.”

  That was weird. Really weird. Axel acted like he didn’t even know me.

  I slinked out of the office and nearly left a trail of fire in my wake as I rushed from the station. Once outside, warm air hit my sweating skin. In the time it had taken me to enter the station and nab the key, my crimson hair had plastered to my neck. I’m sure I looked like a late summer hot mess of perspiration.

  I found Betty down the street. “Did you get it?”

  “Yes.”

  She opened her palm. “Hand it over.”

  “No way. I’m keeping it. You can’t send me in to do your dirty work and expect to get the prize.”

  “I’m old.”

  I glared at her. “I don’t care. I almost got caught by Axel.”

  She frowned. “What’s he doing in there?”

  I paused. “I didn’t ask.”

  Betty’s brows pinched together as her eyes narrowed. “Never mind. Let’s hope he doesn’t blow the whistle and tell Garrick that he found you in the office. Even if he does, we’ll do the one thing we can.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Deny it.”

  Sounded about as perfect as the rest of this plan. But I had to hand it to Betty, the scheme worked. So far. Definitely something I needed to keep reminding myself.

  Cordelia huffed as she strode up to us. “I hope you got the key. I had to make up some crazy story.”

  “About what?” I said.

  My cousin threaded her fingers through the ends of her hair nervously. She puckered her mouth into a little bow before grimacing. “I had to tell him—I forget what I told him.”

  With the air of authority that you get from being old and ornery, Betty said, “You told him you were feeling the pressure about your relationship. That you needed to make a decision between him and Zach because it was beginning to be too much and your feelings were becoming too tangled and deep.”

  Cordelia glared at her. “What I said is none of your business.”

  Betty poked the air. “But I’m right. I always am.”

  Cordelia grabbed her arm. “Come on. Let’s get out of here before anyone puts two and two together.”

  We made our way to Betty’s house, where we took up shop on the screened-in back porch. Betty magicked up a pitcher of sweet tea and several glasses. When we were settled on the wicker furniture with sugary goodness flowing through our veins, Betty started.

  “I haven’t told Amelia about this plan.”

  “What plan?” Amelia said, popping her head into the room.

  “The one where Betty gets us all incarcerated,” I said.

  “Ooh, sounds like fun,” she said, pulling up a chair and helping herself to some tea.

  “It’s where we discover who killed Mysterio and who wants Pepper’s dragon.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m not convinced anyone wants my dragon. You’re the one who thinks that.”

  “I agree with Pepper,” Cordelia said.

  “You’ll both see,” Betty said. “Amelia, you can be the lookout tonight.”

  “Great. I didn’t have any plans anyway.”

  Betty settled her gaze on Cordelia and me. “The two of you will search the van while I do the instructing.”

  “What exactly are we looking for?” Cordelia said.

  “I don’t know,�
�� Betty admitted.

  I shook my head in annoyance. “This is worse than trying to find a needle in the haystack. And where’s the car impounded? Please don’t tell me behind the police station.”

  Betty’s eyes shifted left and right. “You’ll have to be quiet.”

  Cordelia scoffed. “Why am I doing this again?”

  “To keep your cousin from being murdered.”

  I shot up. “Murdered? How did this suddenly become I’m going to be murdered? Have you lost your Cracker Jacks? Or did you even have any to begin with?”

  Betty squared her shoulders. “I didn’t want to say it, but I think it’s got to come on out. Mysterio may have been murdered for that dragon. You, Pepper, now own the dragon. If my theory is correct, then whoever killed Mysterio will likely come after you. See, I’m connecting A to B to C.”

  “I think you’re connecting Venus and Mars instead of letters,” I said. “That makes absolutely no sense. Donovan bought the dragon for me.”

  Betty crossed her arms. “He did buy it for you, but perhaps someone knew about it and resolved to kill for it.”

  “I agree with Pepper,” Cordelia said. “There’s no evidence for any of this craziness.”

  “That’s why we’re infiltrating the van,” Amelia said pertly.

  Cordelia and I shot her hard glances. Amelia shrugged. “What? Crazier things have happened. She might be right. We check the van for clues, if we don’t find any we lock Betty up in a first witch’s home.”

  Betty clapped her hands and Amelia’s tea disappeared. Amelia rose. “Someone come get me when it’s time. I’ll be waiting and ready.”

  I spent the rest of the afternoon running to Familiar Place and feeding and watering the animals. When I wasn’t around, they went into a state of suspended animation, which made caring for them easier. But I hated leaving them like that for long. I wanted to take Hugo out, but after the earlier run-in, I wasn’t sure what to do. He needed more training, and to be honest, I still wasn’t sure I was the right witch for him. I did feel a connection, but I couldn’t have him scorching animals or people.

  Clearly, that would be a problem.

  I locked up my shop and headed to the house. The sun burned down the horizon. Betty would be rearing to go pretty soon.

  I found her sitting by the hearth, stirring some black liquid in a cauldron. “Is Barry the Dragon Tamer still around?”