Dirty Deal

by Crystal Kaswell

The bathroom is through a small hallway. I pull the door open and step inside.

  It's nice. Expensive.

  The counter is marble, the mirror is smudge-free, the sink is a porcelain rectangle.

  I run the water and splash it on my face. No makeup today. Nothing to wash off.

  I'm just Kat, or maybe the shell of Kat left by whatever Blake is doing to me.

  The door opens. I stare at the mirror, trying to ignore it. This is a public restroom. These things happen.

  "This isn't our deal."

  What the fuck? That's Blake.

  I rub my eyes and check again, just to be sure.

  "This is the women's restroom," I say.

  He glances at the space between the stall doors and the floor. No one else is here. It's quiet. It's clean. Hell, it's nice.

  He goes to the main door and turns a lock.

  His eyes pass over me slowly. His breath speeds. "Take off your clothes."

  I step back, but I'm pressed against the sink.

  His voice gets low. "Don't make me ask twice."

  Chapter 27

  Heat collects between my legs.

  My cheeks flush.

  I've been naked a lot today, but it was never in this context.

  It was never this inviting.

  I hold Blake's gaze. It's intense. Demanding.

  He's somewhere between the Blake I don't understand and the one who makes perfect sense.

  I'm not sure it matters.

  I want to give myself to every Blake.

  I want to surrender to every Blake.

  It's just… I want more than the uptight Blake is willing to give me.

  He takes a step towards me. "Kat. Now." His voice gets low.

  It makes my sex clench.

  It centers me.

  This makes sense.

  Everything else… Not so much.

  I pull my sweater over my head and drop it on the floor.

  His eyes fix on mine.

  His pupils dilate.

  He wants this as much as I do.

  Needs it as much as I do.

  Blake doesn't understand me either. Not the clothed version of me.

  I toss my undershirt next to my sweater.

  All the thoughts racing around my brain quiet. Right now, I'm Blake's and he's mine. That's what matters.

  I unhook my bra and slide it off my shoulders. My nipples tighten. A shiver runs over my skin.

  I've been on display before, but I've never been this exposed.

  Heat rushes to my core. There's something perfect about this. I want him staring at me, thinking about me, lusting after me.

  "Touch your nipples," he demands.

  His gaze sends a shiver down my spine. I rub my nipple with my thumb.

  I stare back into his eyes as I do it again.

  Another shudder rushes through me. My breath hitches. My heart races. My entire body is buzzing.

  I run my fingers over my nipples the way he does. My eyes want to close, so I can really soak in the sensation, but I force them open.

  His tongue slides over his lips. He motions come here.

  I take three steps towards him, until we're close enough to touch.

  Blake grabs my hips. He pulls my body into his, crotch first. He's hard.

  Fuck. It feels so good, him being hard. I'm never going to tire of it.

  His hands slide over my shoulders and down my torso. He glides them back up my sides and over my breasts.

  I gasp as he plays with my nipple. It's much better than my hand. So much better.

  I fight to keep my eyes open, to keep them on his.

  Heat rushes through my body. Every brush of his fingertips stokes the fire inside me.

  Tension builds in my sex. I need him already. I need him desperately.

  I rub my crotch against his, soaking in the feel of his erection against me.

  He tugs at my jeans. "Turn towards the mirror."

  I do. My neck presses against his face. He brushes his lips against it. Then it's teeth. Hard. Pain bursts through me, calling all of my attention. I grab at his suit jacket again.

  "Not until I give you permission." He sinks his teeth into my neck, testing me. "Hands at your sides."

  I tug at the sides of my jeans. Anything to keep my body cooperating.

  Blake nips at my neck, my ears, my collarbone. It's the perfect bit of ecstasy. I feel the ache everywhere.

  Conscious thought is long gone. He's all I know, all I want, all I feel. I close my eyes and soak in the sensation of his mouth, teeth, tongue.

  I let out a low groan.

  He tugs at my hair, pulling my head back and biting me again and again. My hands shake. They want so badly to touch him. I want so badly to touch him.

  But I have to wait.

  He brings his mouth to my nipples and sucks hard. It feels so good I can barely stand it.

  Ecstasy builds inside me. My sex pulses. I'm desperate for a proper release.

  Pain bursts through me as he bites my nipple. My hands reach for his hair, but I stop myself. Hands at my sides. Those are the rules.

  Blake moves to my other nipple. He sucks and bites and licks. Pleasure and pain whir around inside me. It's so much sensation my legs go weak. There's nothing to hold onto.

  "Unzip your jeans." He steps back to watch.

  My body goes cold. It's screaming for him to stay closer. Right now, Blake is the only thing I need.

  But I have to play by his rules. I let out a shaky breath and do as I'm told.

  His eyes find mine. "Touch yourself."

  I push my jeans to my knees. Then my underwear. My breath catches. I'm as good as naked.

  Blake's pupils dilate.

  My fingertips trail beneath my belly button. Almost.

  I skim my clit lightly. I want so badly to come, but I want it from Blake.

  "No teasing, Kat." His voice is low. "Touch yourself properly."

  My sex clenches. I hold his gaze as I rub myself. Pleasure builds inside me. My cheeks flush.

  I'm masturbating for him in a public bathroom, and I'm fucking enjoying it. What the hell has happened to my life?

  "You want to come, Kat?" he asks.

  "Yes," I barely breathe it. My finger circles my clit. I'm throbbing. Desperate.

  "You want to touch me?"

  God yes. I nod. "Yes."

  "Come here."

  I take a step towards him. Close enough to touch again.

  "Closer."

  I press my body against his. He drags his fingers over my hips, my stomach, my breasts. He pinches my nipples so hard I gasp.

  He presses his lips to mine. His kiss is aggressive. Commanding.

  Heat rushes through my body. Every part of me feels good. Feels his.

  He pulls back, his lips hovering over my ears. "On your knees."

  Hell yes. I slide to my knees, holding onto his hips to stay upright.

  Blake looks down at me. He undoes his belt. Unzips his slacks.

  My tongue slides over my lips. Almost.

  "Kat, look at me."

  I do.

  "You want to come?"

  "Yes."

  "You want to suck my cock?"

  "Yes."

  "Then touch yourself." He slides his hand into my hair, holding me steady.

  I bring one hand between my legs.

  I stop holding back.

  I rub my clit harder. Faster.

  Pleasure builds inside me.

  Almost…

  With his free hand, Blake pushes his slacks to his knees. Then the boxers. They strain over his cock.

  Want floods my body. I slide my finger inside my sex. Mmm. It's the next best thing to him.

  He presses his palm against the back of my head, bringing me closer. I brush my lips against his cock.

  He tastes good, like soap and like Blake.

  I dig my hand into his hip to stay upright, but he pushes it away.

  "Rub your nipples," he commands.

&
nbsp; I press my knees into the floor. Nothing to hold onto. No way to stay upright.

  I slide two fingers into my sex.

  I rub my nipples with my other hand.

  Pleasure floods my body. I'm close, but I can't come yet.

  I can't come until I have him in my mouth.

  Blake digs both hands into my hair, holding my head in place.

  I run my tongue over the head of his cock, savoring the taste of him.

  He presses his hands against my head, guiding me.

  I take him into my mouth and suck on his tip.

  He groans, holding me steady as he thrusts into my mouth.

  He starts slow. Then he moves faster. Deeper. I press my tongue flat against his base, sucking on him as he fucks my mouth.

  Blake groans. I slide my fingers deeper in a desperate attempt to match his pace.

  Pleasure whirs around me. There's so much sensation I can barely take it.

  He fucks my mouth. Harder. Deeper. I relax my throat, fighting my gag reflex.

  I need to take him as deep as he'll go.

  He tugs at my hair. His breath is heavy. Desperate. "Come for me, Kat," he groans.

  I surrender to the sensations, matching his rhythm with my fingers.

  Harder, deeper, faster. Pleasure pools inside me. It builds with every one of his groans.

  Almost.

  He tugs at my hair. The burst of pain pushes me to the brink.

  My body is on fire. Everything is too much. Too much pleasure, too much pain, too much feeling.

  Finally, I understand that idea. More is more.

  And God do I need more.

  I move faster. I suck harder. I pinch my nipple until I'm groaning. An orgasm rises up inside me. It's so tight, so hard, so damn good.

  Bliss overtakes me as he fucks my mouth.

  With the next brush of my fingers, I come.

  An orgasm washes over me. My sex pulses. My thighs shake. It feels so fucking good.

  I suck on him in some attempt to contain the sensation.

  But it's not enough. I have to grab onto his hips to stay upright.

  He looks down at me, holding me in place as he thrusts into my mouth.

  Blake groans. His eyelids press together. His nails scrape against my neck.

  With his other hand, he tugs at my hair. Harder. Harder. Harder. I groan against his cock.

  It's more than a hint of pain, but it's perfect. That's how good he feels. That's how much he wants me.

  "Fuck," he groans.

  He launches into a final thrust as an orgasm overtakes him. He holds my head tightly as he comes in my mouth.

  I wait until he's finished and swallow hard.

  Blake releases his grip. I fall to my hands and knees, catching my breath. My heart is still racing. My body is still keyed up.

  He offers his hands. I take them and he pulls me to my feet.

  Blake helps me into my panties and jeans. His fingertips skim my hips, sides, chest, neck.

  I meet his gaze. Still topless, but that's not why I feel exposed.

  My cheeks flush. My attention turns to the floor.

  He runs a hand through my hair, the same sweet touch from before. "You okay?"

  I nod.

  He adjusts his pants then kneels and helps me finish dressing.

  His eyes find mine. "Ready to go home?"

  I nod. This relationship might crush my heart, but my body demands more. It demands all of Blake, all the time.

  It's the only way I can have him.

  Chapter 28

  We have our dessert on Blake's couch. Of course, he worked everything out so sticky rice and mango was waiting for us in his apartment. The man can pull strings I can't even fathom.

  I flip around the channels. I settle on a Grey's Anatomy rerun, and he watches with a bemused fascination.

  "What the hell is this?" he asks.

  "It's an amazing soap opera where all the doctors and nurses are sleeping together. I used to watch it with Lizzy." Before I was too busy to commit to Netflix binge sessions.

  "Why?"

  "It's TV. It's fun. Don't you ever watch TV just to zone out?"

  He stares at me like I'm crazy.

  "No, of course you don't. You have three spare hours a week and you spend them all, what—playing chess?"

  "No. I spend them fucking beautiful women."

  "Really?"

  He shrugs.

  I laugh. Blake is making a joke. It's weird but perfect.

  He scoops sticky rice with his spoon and slides it into my mouth. Sweet, creamy, hint of coconut. And, yes, damn sticky. Last time he was…

  I dig my nails into my thighs so I won't react. I want to connect with him when we have our clothes on.

  I lick the spoon clean. Blake raises an eyebrow as if to say hmm, you really like that sticky rice.

  I flip him off.

  He smiles. My heart thuds.

  Fine. I get off on his smile. I can accept that. It doesn't mean we're serious.

  Who wouldn't giggle over a perfect smile?

  Especially when it's as rare as Blake's is.

  "And you make time for this show?" he asks.

  "Not this show in particular. But it's important to relax." I eat mango with my hands. The juice runs down my fingers.

  Blake takes my hand and runs his tongue over it, lapping up every bit of juice. His eyes connect with mine. "You don't relax unless I force you to."

  "I went to brunch with my sister." And spent the entire time stressed over that damn check. "It was very relaxing."

  He stares at me like he doesn't believe me. "Take your own advice, Kat. What do you ever do that's just for you?"

  "I don't know."

  "You deserve to treat yourself." He runs his finger up my neck. "You deserve everything the world has to offer."

  He looks at me like he's promising me everything, but I only want this. Him looking at me like I'm the fucking world, like I'm the thing he wants to explore.

  Warmth rushes around inside me, collecting in my belly. It's not the racing heat of what happened in the bathroom. It's not about touching him. Not physically.

  I clear my throat. "And what are you offering? Anything better than the world?"

  His lips curl into a smile and then—thank God I'm sitting, because my knees go weak—he laughs.

  It's a belly laugh. A perfect laugh. His eyes light up and that little dimple appears on his check.

  He brushes a hair from my eyes.

  His breath warms my ear as he leans closer. "Much better than the world."

  "And what's that."

  He nods to a box tucked away on the bookshelf. Chess. "The chance for victory."

  "Yeah?"

  "Unless you're afraid of a challenge."

  You mean like surviving the next few months with Blake without falling to pieces? "Never."

  He sets the game up on the coffee table. We play a dozen times. Same handicap for Blake—no queen. I manage to win a few times. But the truth is, my mind isn't on the strategy.

  It's on him. His fingers gliding over the pieces, over his chin as he thinks. The cute look of frustration when he loses a piece. The way his eyes get big and bright. A new idea, something to excite him.

  His smile.

  That dimple on his cheek.

  His laugh.

  His perfect laugh.

  My heart races. All this nervous energy over a board game. It's not like me. I hold my own with people yelling in my face, with six tables who all need me at once, with no way to pay next month's bills.

  I hold my own.

  "I should really get to bed." I yawn dramatically to sell my story.

  Blake presses his lips into mine. "I'll go with you."

  He's going to sleep with me? My nod is quick. Enthusiastic. My next step is closer to a skip.

  I brush my teeth and change into a pair of pajamas from the dresser. My size, my style. I don't even care how he got them, who bought them.

 
Only that they're here.

  That we're both here.

  He pulls me onto his bed. His lips brush mine. It's softer and sweeter than any of our previous kisses.

  He holds me until I fall asleep.

  He holds me like he loves me.

  I wake up cold. No arms around me. No one else in the bed. The apartment is quiet. Empty.

  There's a note on the counter:

  Went into work early. Will be home by 8 P.M. if you want to stick around. If not, take a cab and use my credit card. I insist.

  Help yourself to anything.

  - Blake

  Home by eight. Nice and early. A solid twelve hours away.

  I dig around the kitchen. There's coffee, tea, cereal, milk. That's about it. There's plenty to do in this area of town. Hell, I could spend the whole day in the park. I could spend half of it at the Met.

  But I'm not rearranging my day around Blake. As nice as his place is, as much as I want to wander around Central Park, I'm not staying here.

  I fix myself cereal and coffee and sit on the balcony. It's warmer today, but there's still a chill. I wrap myself in a blanket and doodle the view in every direction.

  I'll miss this apartment.

  I'll miss Blake more.

  I try to shut out the thought, but it sticks in my mind.

  The only thing worse than staying with him is leaving.

  Chapter 29

  At five after eight, my phone buzzes.

  Blake: Damn. You're not here. There goes hope you greet me naked.

  My breath catches in my throat. That's how he wants me. Sitting around his apartment waiting to be ready the second he's home. What a goddamn cliché of a wife-to-be.

  Of course, I wouldn't exactly mind greeting him naked. I certainly wouldn't mind him throwing me on the couch and fucking me senseless.

  I shake my head.

  I need to stem the feelings pouring from me.

  We have a deal. It's business. I need to keep it business.

  Period.

  Kat: Maybe if you had offered to greet me naked.

  Blake: Come over. I will.

  Kat: I can't. I have to work on my portfolio. Columbia application is due next week.

  My fingers hover over the phone screen. It's a half-truth. The application is due next week, but the portfolio isn't due for another month.

  I need to figure out how to pull back before I dive in.

  Somehow.