by Anne, Melody
“In his defense,” she said between chuckles, “he was rowing with a broomstick.” She could barely get the words out.
The look he gave her she was sure was the same look he’d given the poor man rowing himself into a circle, getting dizzy.
“I yelled out to him to row on the other side,” he said, then smiled. He must be realizing how humorous this situation was. “So he did and then started turning in a circle the opposite way.”
“Oh my gosh, you have to stop. My stomach is killing me,” she told him as tears began running down her face.
“I realized there was no chance of me not getting wet. So I reached in my back pocket, secured my wallet, and dropped into the water. I had to swim out to him, where he was looking sheepishly at me while I was cussing him out.”
“Where were your other crewmates?”
“Doing their own jobs.”
“So you totally could’ve drowned right there next to a huge navy ship, and no one would’ve known?” she questioned, a bit confused.
“In their defense, we were navy men and should be able to handle the water,” he told her.
“That’s true. I hope Speedy swam better than he rowed.”
“Me too. But he learned real quickly how to row ’cause he brought us back to the ship after his lesson.”
Sarah chuckled again as they approached the airport. The drive had gone by much more quickly with him sharing his adventures with her. She reached over and patted his leg.
“Thank you for that. I can’t remember the last time I’ve laughed that hard,” she said as she wiped away her final tear. “That was great.”
“I’m glad I was able to entertain you with my painful memory,” he said with a smile.
They continued to chat as they loaded their bags into the plane, and then Sarah sat back and watched as the sun began to set. It had been a perfect day, and it was ending with a perfect sunset.
She was done for. Maybe she should just admit that to herself and give in. Or maybe she’d continue to torture them both. She really wasn’t sure what would happen next.
She wasn’t sure she wanted to know what would come. Maybe there was truly something to be said about living in the moment. Only time was going to tell how this was all going to turn out.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Three days.
Three very long nights.
It was funny how a person looked at time when they were miserable versus when they were happy. When a person was in a good mood, time sped by far too quickly. When they were miserable, it dragged on and on and on and on.
Sarah hadn’t seen or talked with Noah since their trip to the Oregon ghost town, and she missed him. She didn’t want to miss him, didn’t want to want to see him, but she did indeed miss him, and she was more confused than ever about what that meant. They’d done a lot of drawings on their own since the trip, and they were planning on going to the work site, but after their trip they’d separated and hadn’t had a chance to get back together.
Then out of the blue he’d called her the night before and said he’d found their next place of inspiration. The only thing he would tell her was to bring a good pair of shoes.
She’d asked him what that had to do with the project, and he’d only said she’d have to wait and see. She could push it and prove it had nothing to do with their work, but maybe by going she’d be inspired. And the bottom line was that she did indeed miss him.
This newest trip was to an island off the coast of Washington. She was always up for a good hike, and she hadn’t been getting enough exercise lately, so truly this was a win all the way around. But at this particular moment she was restless and cranky and shouldn’t be near anyone.
How was it that she’d always been so independent and secure on her own but in the space of such a short time had learned to depend on this one man for a bit of peace and happiness? How was it that she’d rather fight with the man than sit alone in quiet and read a book? And how could she possibly make it stop? Did she even want to make it stop? She honestly couldn’t answer that.
Her fingers twitched on her phone as she ached to call him, as she searched for a reason to do just that. That kiss had been amazing, and then he’d looked as if he’d wanted to do it again when they’d said goodbye at the plane, but he’d just given her a sultry look, then turned and walked away . . . again.
It was so dang easy for her to get lost in the beauty of Noah’s incredible blue eyes. All logic flew right out the window when she was around him. He made her feel things she’d never felt with any other man—made her want things she’d never wanted with anyone else.
When she found herself close to caving and dialing the man up, she forced herself to call Brooke instead. Her best friend answered on the second ring and enthusiastically invited Sarah to come over. That was a much safer option for her sanity.
After putting her phone away, she tucked her drawings into her bag and jumped into her car. It didn’t take her long to arrive at Brooke’s place. The home was everything Sarah had once wanted. Maybe she just needed to accept that her life had taken a different path than she’d planned and appreciate the journey she was now on instead of looking at what other people had. And maybe she should accept that fate might have a different plan in mind for her now versus what it had in mind even a year ago.
Brooke answered the door immediately. Her best friend looked rumpled, but she was wearing a bright smile.
“That was fast,” Brooke said as she held open the door.
“Thankfully, because it seems I can’t be on time for anything these days,” Sarah said after giving Brooke a big hug. “I don’t know what’s happening to me.”
“Well, life sometimes happens,” Brooke said with a laugh. “We aren’t alone, though. The neighbor had an emergency and asked if I could babysit. Her daughter is absolutely adorable . . . and a terror, so it’ll make visiting a bit difficult, but I think we’ll manage if the twins stay asleep. I can’t guarantee anything peaceful these days.”
Though it might sound like a complaint from most people, Sarah could see the love shining in Brooke’s eyes. She was made to be a mom, and she’d embraced that role wholeheartedly.
Just then a little girl ran up to Brooke and latched on to her leg as she looked up at Sarah with big brown eyes filled with curiosity. Acting on instinct, Sarah knelt down and smiled.
“What’s your name?” she asked.
“Eliza,” the small child answered in a tiny voice. “I’m three,” she added with a sweet grin.
“That’s a perfect age,” Sarah said, feeling a tiny pang at this life her best friend now had. She’d never been jealous of mothers. She’d actually always felt sorry for them, since they appeared to be so tired most of the time. But since her head was screwed up these days, apparently she was feeling the need to have a child as well. She hoped that passed really, really soon.
Eliza lost interest in the conversation, and Sarah stood up and looked at her bestie, who didn’t appear at all fazed at the chaos her life had become.
“You’re keeping mighty busy these days with the twins and babysitting duty,” Sarah told her. “Is it what you were expecting?”
“I’m living the dream,” Brooke said. The funny thing was there was zero sarcasm in her friend’s voice. She really was living a dream life—or at least her idea of a dream life. “I’m definitely keeping busy, but no, it’s nothing like what I would’ve expected. Of course I never thought I’d be a mother and wife or have ideas of PTA bakes and neighborhood parties. But I do love it all. I think I was lost and had no clue who I was or what I truly wanted and needed. And in the end what I needed was a family.” She was quiet as she grinned a satisfied smile. Then she shook her head as if clearing it. “I think you might be having more chaos in your life than me right now, though.” She led Sarah into the living room. It was clean but definitely cluttered with toys.
“I used to absolutely love being busy. Now there are times I want to slow down and other times
I want to speed up. I don’t think I know what I want half the time,” Sarah said.
“We can keep on wasting time with idle chitchat, or we can get to the good stuff,” Brooke said with a sly smile. Sarah knew what that meant.
She stalled. “What good stuff?” she asked as Brooke gave Eliza a toy before giving Sarah her attention again.
“You and Noah are spending a lot of nonwork time together even though you told me the affair was over, and you were one hundred percent done with him,” Brooke told her.
Sarah’s cheeks heated as she looked over at the young child, who wasn’t paying them the least bit of attention. She never had been able to lie to her best friends. None of them could pull it off.
“We’re just trying to figure out how to make this project the best it can be. That’s all,” Sarah said way too defensively. “And to do that, we’re doing some unconventional stuff.”
“Hmm, why am I finding that difficult to believe?” Brooke said with a laugh.
“Because you’ve always been a meddler,” Sarah told her.
“That’s so not true,” Brooke said with a mock gasp.
“Noah has grand ideas that by doing things a bit differently, we’re going to make a dream center. I want it to be the best. I want this to really enhance my career,” Sarah said.
“Yes, Joseph Anderson picked the two of you, so he obviously has a lot of trust in you,” Brooke told her. “I have no doubt this will be fantastic when it’s finished. I love what I see so far. And I love that your name will be on it.”
“My name isn’t front and center, and I shouldn’t care as much as I do, but I can’t help but want perfection,” Sarah said. “And I want some credit. I hate that I do, but I so do.”
“Your name is on this project, so it’s as much yours as Noah’s,” Brooke defended. Of course her best friend would say that.
“I feel as if I’m just along for the ride. Noah is the big name, and I’m a little resentful of that. I’m working as hard as him on this, and his name will be front and center, and I’ll just be a sidenote. There’s so much holding me back from being with the man, but sometimes I have no idea why I’m fighting it. And then other times I think I’m doing the right thing. I’m a mess,” she admitted.
“So if you really don’t expect anything out of this, why spend so much time on it? And why spend the extra time with Noah?” Brooke pointed out. Eliza let out a squeal of joy when a puppy came by and licked her on the cheek before going over to his bed and curling up. The scene made Sarah smile, made her nerves calm.
“I have to work on this because I committed to it. And therefore I have to spend time with Noah, which is what’s leaving me in an utter hormonal mess,” Sarah insisted.
“I don’t think that’s all it is.”
“I swear the only reason I’m doing this is that I’m invested now,” Sarah said. She couldn’t look her friend in the eye. She was 98 percent sure she was lying.
“I think the man’s completely infatuated with you. He might be fighting it as much as you are, but the way he looks at you tells me he’s falling in love,” Brooke said. “Maybe you just need to accept it.”
“Don’t go there, Brooke,” Sarah told her, but the words made a funny little tingle start up in the pit of her stomach.
“I know you were hoping for a carefree fling, where you forget all about him the moment it’s over, but I think the two of you connected, and I don’t think that connection can break. You’re falling in love with him—and though it seems impossible, he’s falling in love with you. Don’t you think that’s worth exploring?” Brooke asked.
“I’ve never wanted to risk falling in love. It’s not that I don’t trust in it or believe in it. I just see too many failed romances,” Sarah told her. She was now twisting her fingers on the hem of her shirt.
“Why?” Brooke asked. “I know Noah can be a pain in the ass, and he hasn’t had the smallest inkling of settling down in the past. But he’s also a wonderful man who donates to abused kids and schools and who holds my babies like they’re the most precious beings on this planet. There’s a lot of good in him—enough to risk your heart for.”
Sarah found herself on the verge of tears. She had to push them away quickly. This was a road she’d sworn she wouldn’t go down. “I love that you love him, and I’m glad you’ve gotten close this past year. But I can’t do it. I can’t give up what I’ve achieved and risk it all for a relationship that isn’t meant to be. He is known to walk away. He’s done it before.”
Brooke shrugged, but the look in her eye was telling her she didn’t believe Sarah had a choice in the matter. She didn’t want to admit even to herself that she thought Brooke might be right. She could keep on fighting it, but it was like punching herself in the face while looking in a mirror.
“Okay, I’ll lay off. Tell me what you’ve been up to this past month while I’ve been nursing nonstop,” Brooke demanded.
“I’m just working, working, working,” Sarah told her. It was difficult for her to switch topics so quickly. Her mind was still on Noah.
“You guys have been full steam ahead from the beginning. I’m surprised you aren’t done yet.”
“I know, but we’re both perfectionists, and that makes it more difficult to ever call it good enough.”
She rose and paced the large room. She’d always been a somewhat restless person, but lately it was getting worse.
“There’s nothing wrong with having it all, Sarah,” Brooke pointed out. “You can do your job and give yourself time to enjoy life and a sexy man.”
“I love my job, though, so isn’t that enjoying life?” Sarah asked. She really wasn’t sure why she was trying to convince Brooke she was so happy when she obviously wasn’t.
“What would make you the happiest? What would bring you back to yourself?” Brooke asked with knowing eyes pointed straight at her.
Could anyone ever answer those questions? She wasn’t sure.
“I love my job,” she said instead.
“That’s evasive,” Brooke pointed out.
“As you well know, life isn’t always black and white. There are many colors to each and every day. I’m not unhappy,” Sarah assured her.
“That’s true. Do you think you’ll be able to finish this project, when you feel the way you do about Noah?” And they were back on the man Sarah didn’t want to think about.
“Yes, I can,” Sarah said.
“He’s incredibly gifted. And I think he can help you achieve your dreams,” Brooke said with a smile. “Finn has some of his buildings on the wall. He’s very proud of his brother.”
Sarah looked over and immediately recognized the framed shots. She’d looked into Noah’s other work when she’d been hired for this project. Sarah looked at one of the images, her heart pounding as she imagined looking at her own work hanging on a wall in people’s houses.
“Yes, he is,” Sarah said in a whisper as her eyes caressed the beautifully captured images.
“Don’t give up on him,” Brooke told her. Sarah’s gaze snapped back to her friend.
“I think you actually believe the two of us belong together,” she replied with a small chuckle.
“I think you are meant to be. I hope it lasts for eternity,” Brooke admitted.
“We have totally separate lives. It can’t work in the end,” Sarah told her.
“Not necessarily. I still believe in magic, and so do you. You just have to find it within yourself, and you have to chip down that wall you’ve built.” She paused with that knowing look on her face.
“Aren’t I the one who’s always believed in magic?” Sarah asked.
“Yes, you are, but you’re too close to realize how good a man he is,” Brooke told her.
Brooke let Sarah process her thoughts without interruption. Then Eliza stumbled and fell, letting out a scream. Brooke jumped up and grabbed the little girl.
“She didn’t really get hurt. It’s just past her nap time,” Brooke assured her.
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br /> “I’ll get out of here so you can lay her down,” Sarah said as she stood.
Brooke tried assuring her she didn’t need to go, but there was nothing else that could be said at this point. The best thing Sarah could do was pull her thoughts together while taking a nice long walk.
She told her bestie goodbye and practically ran for the door. Each moment she was with Noah, she wanted him more. Each time she was away, she craved how she felt when she was with him. Maybe she should see how it played out . . . and maybe she should run as far and as fast as she could. She honestly didn’t know which direction she was going to take. She was playing a game that she didn’t know the rules of. So in the end she wasn’t sure how they’d determine the winner and loser. Maybe each of them would be both.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
There was something about the sound of the ocean that had always given Sarah peace. Whenever she’d been searching for enlightenment, she’d find her way to some form of water, whether it was the ocean, a lake, a river, or even a creek. Somehow she’d been able to find answers with her toes in the water when no other way seemed to be presenting them.
Now she needed answers more than at any other time in her life. She was torn on what step to take next. She didn’t enjoy being this indecisive. So she made her way to the same beach she’d visited many, many times before. One of the greatest things about the Seattle area was the sheer amount of water surrounding it. The city itself was claustrophobic, but if you just went out in any direction a little way, you could find peace.
There were mountains, streams, water, and wildlife. There were answers in the streams and the stars. If she took her time and paid attention, she might find what she was seeking. Maybe she’d even experience some of the magic she still believed in.
Visiting with her best friend had left her more confused than before. Neither Brooke nor Chloe loved someone easily, especially if that someone was trying to enter one of their lives. So for Noah to have both Brooke’s and Chloe’s support was making this situation even more confusing for Sarah.
