by Anne, Melody
Maybe she should listen to them, listen to her own heart or hormones or whatever it was that was pulling her toward this man. She might find the peace she’d been struggling to experience since first meeting Noah.
Being a part of Noah’s life was like being caught up in a huge thunderstorm. There was definite beauty and magic in the moment, but in the blink of an eye the situation could turn deadly, like the car accident. Being with him was also making her realize she might be missing something essential in her life. Did she want something she’d never thought she’d wanted before? Was a happily ever after in her future? Or was she being submerged into a world she didn’t want to be in and being tricked by her hormones to continue?
She wasn’t sure which was the right answer.
In the time she’d known Noah—about a year now—there hadn’t been one single day that had passed where he hadn’t popped up in her mind at least once. That was frustrating for a woman who’d been so perfectly content to flirt and date and then walk away without ever looking back. Maybe there’d been a time in her life she’d dreamed of romance and marriage and kids, but that had been a long time ago. She’d grown more cynical as she’d gotten older.
And then Noah had come along, and she was suddenly envisioning playground equipment in the backyard and a puppy nipping at their toes. She was jealous of her best friend for being tired because she was up for days on end taking care of her beautiful babies. This wasn’t who Sarah was. But then again, she wasn’t sure who in the heck she was anymore.
The sky was darkening as Sarah continued walking along the shore. Waves crashed harder and harder with each hit as a perfect storm began to form. She loved being on the beach when the weather turned. The view was spectacular. If she couldn’t find magic during a storm, then she was a lost cause and should throw in the towel.
She kept her gaze pointed toward the sea, but Sarah knew the moment she was no longer alone. She also knew it wasn’t just anyone who was approaching. There was no difference in sound, and no smell carried on the breeze. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to hear over the sound of the wind and waves even if someone was to call out to her, but she knew Noah was there. She didn’t turn. She was afraid of how she’d react if she did.
But even without turning, she could feel his gaze boring into her, feel the tingles on the back of her neck. She told herself she should walk away, pretend she didn’t know he was there. Her heart thundered out of control, and she felt frozen to the spot.
She was still as he stepped behind her. He was so close she could feel his body heat. No words were spoken, but she knew that he was very aware she was in tune to his presence. There was no denying her response to this man. She could try to pretend, but that would just make her more of a fool than she already felt.
Slowly she turned. And then she was instantly caught in the intensity of his gaze. She didn’t try to look away, but she wasn’t sure what his expression was telling her. There was more emotion in this one look than any she’d ever seen before. She was caught, and nothing was going to pull her away. Why was she still fighting this?
The wind picked up speed, and she could smell the rain in the air. The storm was coming closer, waiting to unleash its power on them. It couldn’t have been a more perfect moment if she’d asked for it. She was with this man she desired on the beach with a storm brewing. Was this the answer she’d been looking for?
She wasn’t sure how long the two of them stood there gazing at each other without a single word being uttered. They weren’t needed. Their bodies and eyes were doing the talking. It was the most intense conversation she’d ever experienced.
He reached up, and this time she didn’t flinch away. Why should she pretend she didn’t want to feel his touch? She craved it more than she needed oxygen, more than she needed food or water, more than she needed to stay strong.
His finger swept down the side of her cheek, and his palm cupped her chin, and she didn’t turn away from him. She still hadn’t come to a decision about what she was going to do, but in this moment she didn’t care. She just wanted him, wanted what only he could give her. She wanted to say something, but she wasn’t sure she could trust her voice. Her control was incredibly close to snapping.
“Tell me what you need,” he finally said. There was so much power behind those five complicated words, and there wasn’t even close to an easy answer.
“I don’t know,” she finally admitted. She was afraid of what he’d have to say about that, but she watched as his eyes softened.
“I know,” he told her. “I’m sorry you’re confused. I’m sorry this is so difficult for you.”
She felt on the verge of tears. Who was this guy? Was he truly this understanding, truly this wonderful? She’d been indecisive and wishy washy from the beginning of their first time meeting. It hadn’t gotten better in the past year. And still he was standing there with understanding in his eyes. It made this so much harder.
“Why do you keep trying?” she asked.
His lips turned up the slightest bit. His hand didn’t move from her cheek, but his thumb caressed her jaw and lip. He finally shrugged as if he was the one confused. But there was nothing indecisive in his expression as he opened his mouth to speak again.
“You ask that like I have a choice,” he said. “There is no choice when it comes to you. I’ve tried leaving, but I come back because I’m drawn to you. I need you just as you need me. I think when you realize how true that is, it will be so much easier on both of us.”
His tone never changed, but the intensity in his eyes grew as he spoke. She knew this wasn’t a line, knew that he meant what he was saying.
“I can’t seem to let go,” she admitted.
“Maybe if you did let go, you’d set yourself free,” he responded.
His words and touch were making her fall apart, no matter how much she tried holding herself together. The touch of his fingers on her skin was making her body burn. The storm surrounding them only amplified it all. She was about to be swept away.
“Maybe you don’t have all the answers,” she finally said. She had to say something, had to bring some calm to this situation, because right now she felt as if she were being swept farther and farther out to sea, and their feet hadn’t moved a single inch.
He didn’t counter her words, but his eyes told her he knew she was bluffing, knew she was fighting to hold on to the last of her control. She wanted to rile him, wanted him to be as swept away as she was currently feeling.
She glared.
He smiled.
“I won’t pretend to know it all,” he finally told her. “But at least I don’t run from what I feel and want. At least I’m not afraid to live.”
It was a clear challenge, and her shoulders stiffened.
“You don’t know me,” she said. “And it doesn’t matter to me what you think you know.”
“I do know you. You’re wrong to think I haven’t spent this past year learning more about you than any other woman I’ve ever known. I’d know so much more if you allowed me in. Stop fighting this feeling. Stop fighting us,” he said.
Finally some of the calm he’d been portraying slipped. That slip in self-control calmed her. This mattered to him. She wasn’t sure why, but it did matter. Maybe it wasn’t just a game. She didn’t know.
She was about to respond when his eyes narrowed, and his hand shifted. His touch on her cheek moved, and he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her tightly to him, bringing their bodies as close as they could be without brushing together. It was the most beautiful torture.
“I don’t know, Noah,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. The longer they stood like this, the more her body ached and the more her hormones and heart triumphed over her logic. She couldn’t take this—couldn’t fight him and herself. Maybe that was the answer. She needed to simply let go. She just didn’t know how to do that.
The wind picked up speed, making her hair whip around them, giving them a sort of cocoon, as if they wer
e in the eye of the storm. She was begging herself to let go, begging herself to give in to what she truly wanted. But she couldn’t seem to do just that.
“Sarah, you know what you need. You know what I need. I want you. Let me have you,” he said. His words begged her to give them both what they wanted, but he didn’t push it further than that. He was giving her a choice and making her stand by the decision she was going to make. “Take away the pain from both of us, and say yes.”
It would be so easy to give him what he was asking for. She had a feeling she wouldn’t even have regrets, but still she was unable to give him the words he needed to hear. What was wrong with her? She’d never been this woman before.
“If I do this, I won’t be the same again,” she said. That was more truth than she’d been willing to give him before. It was this moment, this time, this storm, and this water. It was him and the situation, and her defenses were crumbling.
“Neither of us will ever be the same again. That’s what you’ve failed to realize,” he said. She saw the warning in his eyes moments before his head started to descend. He didn’t want to ask anymore. But still he was giving her time to stop him if it wasn’t what she really wanted.
His lips were so close to hers she felt his hot breath brush her trembling flesh. He hesitated, but he wasn’t going to wait for long. She didn’t want him to wait, didn’t want him to give her too much time to think. Maybe talking was the last thing they should be doing. She’d been struggling with what to do, struggling with making the right choice, and she couldn’t seem to make up her mind, so maybe she’d do best to listen to her body, to listen to the response she felt as he neared her.
She didn’t always need to be in control. For once in her life she wanted someone else to have the power. She didn’t trust her own mind to make the best decision for herself. She needed him to make the indecision she was struggling with disappear.
The storm exploded around them as thunder boomed, and the waves reached closer. He didn’t close the final half inch between their lips, and she knew it was to force her into making that final decision.
She hated him a little—and she despised herself even more.
“You will never control me,” she said, her voice a shudder, her body on fire.
“I never want to,” he said. “I want you—all of you—nothing more and nothing less.”
The fight went completely out of her.
“Kiss me,” she said. She didn’t even try to think about her decision. She didn’t try to fight it. How could she when he was giving her a piece of himself? When he was being vulnerable with her? He was giving more to her than she’d ever been willing to give to him. She couldn’t resist that. She had no desire to.
The reward for her words was a satisfied savagery in his eyes that made her stomach clench in pure desire. Her core pulsed, and her body ached. She’d made the right choice. She had no doubt whatsoever.
The wait was over as Noah leaned into her, closing that miniscule gap between them. His lips took her own in a kiss that made her moan against him, the sound being lifted away by the storm. She opened to him, needing his tongue tangling with hers. He consumed her in the most delicious way, and she let it all go—all the thoughts, all the fight, all the reservations.
She was his—at least for now. And it was exactly where she needed to be. This was where she’d belonged from the start. She’d been foolish to think otherwise.
The power of Noah’s kiss was unlike anything Sarah had ever felt before. Each time he kissed her, it felt new and exciting. She couldn’t get close enough to him, couldn’t feel enough, climb high enough, or take enough. There was nothing she wasn’t willing to give or take when in his arms.
His kisses promised wild passion and excitement. They promised to fill all her needs. They were the type of kisses books were written about and songs were made for. They were the kind of kisses movies couldn’t portray properly. They gave her everything and took it all.
He wrapped both arms around her, and she could feel the power of his excitement, feel his arousal pressing into her, telling her where he needed this to lead. She didn’t want to tell him no. She wanted fulfillment. He was hard to her soft and rough to her gentle. He was everything she’d ever needed without knowing it was what she’d been craving her entire life.
She couldn’t get close enough. She pressed into him, wanted more, needed more, demanded all he was willing to give. And right now, she knew that was the sun, the moon and the stars, the entire universe. They were made to come together.
Noah gave her desire and freedom and put her safe world at risk. And none of that mattered. All that mattered was feeling total and utter satisfaction. She needed this man, and she was finally ready and able to take what she should have months before.
He broke their kiss, and she cried out as she grasped for him. She wasn’t ready for it to end. But he was in more control than her, and he knew exactly what he wanted to do. He kissed his way along her jaw, then sucked on her neck, where her pulse beat out of control. Her stomach clenched, and she felt her core pulse.
“I want to take you right here and now,” he said before his hand slid up her shirt and his fingers squeezed her sensitive breasts, making another cry escape her tortured lips.
She didn’t say anything. She didn’t think she was capable of sound at this point. Instead she let herself feel all he was doing to her, and she enjoyed every single moment of it.
She barely registered it when he picked her up in his arms. The rain began soaking them both, and she felt as if she was floating as he moved across the beach. She didn’t care, as long as he kept his lips on her neck, her jaw, her lips, and her temple. His hands caressed her back as he moved away from the power of the crashing waves.
Then they were in a cave. There was no chance of her denying what she wanted now. Their clothes were soaked as he set her on her trembling legs. But she was far from cold. She reveled in the feel of his hands touching her all over. His lips took hers in a possessive caress that had her crying out his name.
Somehow he managed to strip away their clothes as the thunder rattled the walls of the dark cave. There was just enough light for her to see his utter perfection. She ran her fingers over his hot, wet skin and sighed as he consumed her mouth.
And finally he was lifting her, pressing her back into the stone wall as he lined up their bodies. It had been so long, far too long since she’d been in his secure embrace. There was no resistance as he pressed forward, burying his thickness deep inside her wet folds. She wrenched her lips from his as she screamed out his name, then buried her face in his shoulder and held on tight.
She didn’t want slow and easy. She wanted their lovemaking to match the fury of the storm blazing a few feet away from them. He gave her what she wanted as he pounded her flesh. She was so tight, so needy, and so hot. She came as the sky darkened and thundered, as lightning flashed across the clouds, and as the sea reached for them.
He let out a growl as he released his pleasure deep within her. And then they were done, both of them utterly spent. Neither said a word for several long moments. She took one more second and ran her lips across the rough skin of his neck, and then she pulled away from him. He only resisted for a moment.
No words were spoken as she found her wet clothes and struggled into them. She didn’t face him but assumed he was doing the same. When she was finished, she finally was able to look at him. She turned, resolution in her eyes.
“I won’t say I regret that. I wanted it,” she told him.
“You might not be saying the words, but your body is telling me right now you wished it wouldn’t have happened.” His tone was defensive, his body stiff.
“I don’t regret it, but it probably shouldn’t have happened,” she said with a shrug. “But I needed it.” She felt weak and vulnerable right then. She didn’t like it at all.
Fury flashed across his eyes, and she watched as his fingers clenched together in a fist. She knew the words he wa
nted to say. She was impressed with his self-control. He was holding back when he wanted to let go on her. She didn’t blame him. She couldn’t seem to make up her mind, and that wasn’t fair to either of them.
“We’re meant to be together. It’s more than just sex, Sarah,” he finally said. He didn’t move toward her, though. She was grateful for that. She was feeling too much in this moment to think straight if he touched her.
“I don’t know if it’s hormones or more. I just know that if it was meant to be, then I wouldn’t be fighting it so much,” she said, sadness consuming her. If they were supposed to be together, wouldn’t she know without a doubt? It seemed like that would be the case.
“I haven’t done anything you haven’t wanted me to do,” he told her. He was barely managing to keep his fury under control.
The storm kept on raging, and it seemed more than fitting, as he looked as if he was ready to explode, and she felt as if she was being pulled out to sea. This situation was messy and complicated, and they’d just made it that much worse. She couldn’t regret her moment of weakness, though. It had felt too damn good—until reality sank back in.
“You’re right. I wanted to be with you. I don’t regret we did it. I just don’t want to continue doing it. Should I quit right now?” She was asking him with no ulterior motives behind the words. This project was his first and foremost, and she’d walk away if that was what he needed her to do.
He was silent for several moments, and she had to fight the urge to cry. She hadn’t realized how much it would hurt to lose this opportunity. Not only would she not get to see this project to the end, but she’d never see this man again. That seemed almost unbearable.
She wasn’t sure how long the two of them stood there. She didn’t cry and didn’t look away. She’d asked him a question, and she needed to wait for an answer. The wait seemed impossibly long.
“You’ll stay,” he finally said. “I won’t let you take the easy way out.” His words almost seemed a threat. She didn’t know what to think about that. “You can look at me as we work together, knowing how much I want you and also knowing your pride and foolishness is the only thing stopping us.”
