3

by Jacob Z. Flores

  Justin parked his car in front of Dutch’s house and exited the vehicle. As he proceeded up the sidewalk toward the house, the unmistakable sounds of laughter resounded from within. Dutch’s hearty chuckle accompanied Spencer’s breathless giggles in a symphony of merriment.

  They were evidently having a good time. For Justin, this meant his plan to merge their three lives into one definitely had potential. If Spencer and Dutch could overcome their differences, anything was truly possible.

  Instead of walking to the front door, he cut a path across the front yard toward the window to the left of the entrance. He just had to see for himself what they were doing. He wanted to experience the purity of the scene before he broke it with his unannounced presence. After all anything that could bring about such amusement was worth admiring for a moment or two.

  When he finally drew close enough to peer through the dining room window, he saw Spencer pacing about, pretending to be mad. Spencer’s overexaggerated facial expressions made him smile. He loved it when Spencer creased his brow in feigned anger, sometimes with hands on his hips and a curl to his lip. When Spencer couldn’t keep up the pretend pissiness, he and Dutch broke into laughter that Justin hadn’t seen from the two of them in far too many months.

  Even Dutch looked like a new man. The darkness that had hovered around him no longer existed. His strong face looked radiant, and he beamed when he smiled. Obviously, since his departure, Dutch had rediscovered himself, finally wrenching himself free from the pain that pulled him downward like quicksand.

  Exhausted from the endless laughter, Spencer propped himself up against the wall, and when he looked at Dutch, his eyes changed. When Spencer had learned of his affair with Dutch, Spencer’s emerald-colored eyes had turned pastel green. That lifeless color no longer reflected in his eyes. Their green brilliance sparkled like a thousand gems. The light he had snuffed out once again reignited.

  At first, Justin was elated. He wanted to charge into the dining room, sweep Spencer off his feet like in some bad romance movie, but his elation quickly subsided. The light in Spencer’s eyes had returned because of Dutch. Not because of him.

  He felt confused, as if he had just awoken from a long nap, when the mind was still fuzzy and vision remained blurred.

  Dutch then rose from the table, and Justin almost fell backward in surprise. He hadn’t even noticed Dutch wasn’t sitting in his wheelchair. Sometime during his stay in New Braunfels, Dutch’s spinal injury had healed, and now Justin watched as Dutch crossed the room toward Spencer.

  His mind pleaded with him to turn away, but he stood transfixed as he watched in horror as the two men who held dominion over his heart languished in each other’s arms and kissed so passionately and so beautifully that it felt as if he was an intruder.

  Around him, the neighborhood went crazy. People screamed, “Happy New Year!” to friends across the street. Fireworks were launched into the air to commemorate 2011. The explosions and the cheers became ever more distant when Justin realized that New Year’s Eve wasn’t going to bring the three of them together. In fact, New Year’s no longer belonged to him and Spencer.

  It now belonged to them.

  By the time Spencer and Dutch started to remove their clothes, Justin’s vision turned fluid. The tears he’d kept bottled within since he first received Heidi’s phone call came flooding out of his body.

  In a watery torrent he’d never experienced before in his life, his soul poured out endless waves of agony when he realized that a future as a trio was no longer possible. Spencer and Dutch had found something new, together. And without him. Once he was out of the picture, no, once he had removed himself from the picture, they were able to find the happiness that had evaded them both while they were with him.

  In response, his spirit writhed in unimaginable anguish, twisting and contorting inside him like a whirlpool intent on turning him inside out. The love that had once again buoyed in his heart capsized and slipped beneath the tortured waters of his soul, and as it sank to the shadowy depths below, his lungs searched for breath in between his endless sobs.

  He sank to the ground, his knees submerging beneath the wet grass just outside the window. The cold, damp mud, a result of a recent winter downpour, stung his flesh, but the frigid hand that now clenched onto his heart and his soul hurt him the most.

  In order to survive the pain, he latched onto the chilly grasp and allowed it to consume him. The anesthetizing sensation crept slowly through his body, inside and out, until his soul was as cold as the winter air around him. In that moment, he stopped feeling anything at all.

  His tears ceased flowing, for no heart remained to mourn. It had died just as suddenly as it had been reborn. As he watched Spencer and Dutch naked in each other’s arms, a chilly indifference not only completely embraced him but plumed outward from his lungs.

  He walked back to his car in unhurried footsteps. There was no need to rush. He thankfully no longer felt pain. When he started his car and peeled down the street, Justin accepted that he would never care about anything again.

  SPENCER once again stood naked in Dutch’s arms. His body trembled to life as Dutch’s rough hands traveled up and down his bare flesh, inciting not only goose bumps but also sparking flames of desire that raged across his flesh.

  The last time they were both in this position, they were in Dutch’s office, about to take their friendship to a level Spencer wanted to pursue but couldn’t out of fear of hurting Justin and their relationship. The consequences at that time were so dangerous, so insurmountable that he was able to gather his wits and stop them before they went too far.

  Tonight, no such apprehension existed, which took his usually reserved nature by surprise. Spencer felt only reborn and safe, two emotions he hadn’t experienced in far too long. He welcomed the sensations Dutch jumpstarted as they traveled throughout his body, filling him with the warmth of the blistering Texas summer sun.

  “You’re so beautiful,” Dutch whispered softly in his ear as he stroked Spencer’s cock with his right hand and he pressed their bodies together with his left. In response, Spencer greedily explored Dutch’s open mouth, which tasted sweet and syrupy from the iced tea during dinner. He took Dutch’s bottom lip between his teeth and gently bit down on it, causing Dutch to growl and pin him against the dining room wall.

  Dutch grabbed his arms and held them above his head, pushing him against the wall. Once Spencer was restrained, Dutch licked a scorching trail down his neck to his nipples, which he then proceeded to bite. Spencer whined and squirmed against Dutch’s insistent nibbles, and his body begged for Dutch to do more.

  “Oh God, yes,” Spencer whimpered while every nerve ending on his flesh crackled to life. Outside, fireworks popped in the distance and neighbors cheered in the street.

  It was now officially 2011, and for the briefest of moments, he thought of Justin, of how this night had always been their special night. It was the night the universe brought them together. But as he looked down at Dutch, thoughts of Justin flew from his mind as quickly as they entered.

  All he wanted at this moment was the man he’d secretly desired for far too long.

  Almost on cue, Dutch looked up, and his eyes reflected the same hunger Spencer felt completely consuming him. Spencer smiled broadly in silent agreement to their matching lusts and then Dutch turned Spencer around, trapping him against the cold plaster wall and his hot, hard body.

  He kissed and gnawed at Spencer’s neck while his furry chest scratched against his back. Spencer cocked his head to the right, desperately trying to capture as many kisses from Dutch as he could. When their lips connected again, Dutch gripped onto Spencer’s hips and teased his ass with the head of his cock, rubbing the leaking precum along the length of his crack.

  They both panted heavily as Spencer bucked backward, trying to force Dutch’s hardness inside him, but before he had a chance to will his body open enough to take the engorged member inside, Dutch swept him off his feet and carried hi
m to the dining room table.

  “I’m finally going to have you,” Dutch told him as he cradled Spencer in his strong arms. “There’s no way I can stop now.”

  “Good,” Spencer replied as Dutch gently placed him down on the wooden top. “I don’t want you to stop.”

  A seductive grin stretched lazily across Dutch’s face in response. Then he sank to his knees and began eating at the very center of Spencer’s being. Spencer spread his legs wide for Dutch, wanting to give him access to the deepest parts of his body.

  Dutch panted heavily against his back door while his tongue alternated between circling the outer rim of his hole and probing at the opening until the tip of his tongue slipped inside. Spencer gasped for air as Dutch’s urging, wet tongue undulated deeper and deeper inside him.

  From between his legs, Dutch moaned as he continued his feverish dance around Spencer’s trembling opening. Spencer’s chute finally gave away to Dutch’s insistent nudges, opening more and more with each slippery prodding. Excess spit slid down his hole and ran down his taint until it dripped onto the floor below.

  After what seemed like an eternity of agonizing pleasure, Dutch stood up between his legs. “I think I’ve opened you up enough,” he said while revealing his cock, which was already sheathed in a condom no doubt retrieved from Dutch’s discarded pants.

  “Yes,” Spencer panted. “Give it to me. Give me all you got.”

  “Oh, you’ll get it all,” Dutch answered. He leaned over Spencer’s body and stroked his face gently before once again engulfing his mouth with his own. The tangy taste of Spencer’s own body was still ripe on Dutch’s tongue. The musky kiss further enflamed his passion.

  Dutch wrapped his left hand around his waist while his right hand aimed his engorged cock toward its prize, ready to claim all it had to offer. As Dutch cleared a path inside his body, Spencer cried out. He clutched Dutch’s back, relaxing his muscles to accommodate Dutch’s size. Pain seized his body, but after a few tense moments, when he was finally able to relax, the pain turned into pleasure, and he returned Dutch’s fiery kisses with his own.

  Their lips never lost contact as Dutch began to slowly piston himself in and out of his body. Spencer’s eyes rolled in the back of his head as he succumbed to the force of Dutch’s hard cock pushing inside him. Clawing at Dutch’s shoulders and back, he bucked upward, trying to force more and more of Dutch’s body inside. He needed more of Dutch within him if he was to be truly satisfied.

  As Dutch drove harder and faster inside him, a car peeled away outside. The momentary distraction couldn’t deter the passion swelling inside him. He held Dutch close, burying his face between Dutch’s quivering pecs and inhaling the natural body odor that Dutch never masked with deodorant or cologne. The heady scent spurred him on to match Dutch’s fevered movements.

  Dutch increased the speed of his pounding thrusts, massaging his internal pleasure button dangerously close to the point of no return. Spencer’s rigid cock throbbed violently between them, threatening to spill his seed onto his stomach. When Dutch began to moan and growl like an animal, indicating how close he was to his own orgasm, Spencer closed his eyes and let his body go.

  He wanted them both to climax at the same time.

  Dutch’s thrusts became frenzied and primal. His face dripped with sweat, splattering onto Spencer’s chest and his face. Spencer, wild for a drink, licked the salty drops from his chin and from Dutch’s jaw. Dutch responded by kissing then biting Spencer’s lips. Spencer moaned and gyrated back against him, bearing down around Dutch’s hardness to increase the friction, and felt the beginning of his own impending release.

  “I’m gonna fucking shoot!” Dutch cried out while gripping Spencer’s shoulders, which were slick with sweat, and pulled him closer. Dutch was on the verge of climax and intent on propelling them both over the edge.

  Holding Dutch even closer to his body, nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck, Spencer moaned, “Me too!”

  Together, like animals locked in primal contact, their bodies exploded. Spencer felt Dutch’s hardness pulsate within him, growing perhaps two inches wider in girth as he flooded the condom with his spunk. At the same time, Spencer’s cock shuddered violently, ejecting his seed between them and cementing their bodies together.

  Dutch collapsed on top of him, exhausted and spent. Spencer kissed his forehead and held him tight. As he basked in the warm light of their lovemaking, he felt his heart beating in rhythm with Dutch’s, and for the first time in months, he felt truly joined to another human being.

  CHAPTER 46

  2011

  NAKED and wrapped in each other’s arms, as if they defied anyone to sever their union, Dutch looked into Spencer’s bright green eyes and found that he couldn’t turn away. They held some magical power over him, as if they possessed a missing piece to the puzzle of his soul, a piece he never knew he’d lost. Now that he’d found it, however, he reasoned he would never be able to part with it again.

  Spencer had changed him from a lost soul set adrift in a sea of chaos and uncertainty and brought him direction and purpose. Like a homing beacon, Spencer became the candle in the window that ultimately led him home.

  The sensation was surreal yet familiar. The last time he felt this way, it was Justin who was in his arms. But now, amidst the tangled mess they’d made of his sheets during their latest sexual frenzy, it was Spencer who now brought forth these powerful emotions.

  Dutch pulled Spencer into a tight embrace, wanting, no needing to feel his delicate white flesh against his own. Spencer didn’t resist. He completely gave himself over to Dutch’s request, and when they snuggled even closer, unseen cogs within their souls clicked seamlessly together, further proving that being together was not only natural but destined to be.

  Spencer’s head rested against his chin, and he caught a scent of pomegranate shampoo mixed with the sweat and musk of their sexual encounter. It was an intoxicating blend that stirred not only further passion but stoked the fires of deep adoration that blazed brightly within him.

  Holding Spencer so close, feeling every part of his body against his own, felt completely right, not some unmentionable sin or unspeakable violation that they’d both feared it might be.

  “Is it wrong that this feels so right?” he finally asked, giving voice to the emotions that wafted up inside.

  Spencer looked up from his place at his shoulder. Wide and filled with boundless hope, his eyes burned more brightly than any star of his childhood, than even Pegasus, his childhood protector. “I was just about to ask you the same thing,” Spencer replied. His lips then brushed against Dutch’s chin, and like a live wire, sent sparks of desire through him as Spencer traveled up to his cheek and then his mouth. When they kissed once again, electrical currents traveled between them.

  “Why did we wait this long?”

  The fire in Spencer’s eyes dimmed for the briefest of moments, and Dutch noted the change. He knew instinctively the diffusion of joy wasn’t caused by regret or any other emotion that negated what they meant to each other. Dutch understood the look for what it was.

  Spencer was thinking of Justin. It was hard not to. Dutch’s love for Spencer couldn’t negate the love he felt for Justin. Spencer most likely felt the same way.

  “Because of Justin,” Dutch replied, answering his own question.

  “Yeah,” Spencer agreed, pulling Dutch even closer to him, refusing to let the mention of Justin’s name drive them apart. “I couldn’t hurt him that time in your office. I wasn’t ready. You weren’t ready.”

  “Are we ready now?”

  Spencer sighed deeply. For a few moments, only silence followed. Dutch didn’t interpret the pause as a bad omen. He knew Spencer well enough to understand that silence only meant thought. Nothing more.

  “I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to hurt Justin.”

  “Me either,” he replied. “I love him, Spencer. I still do.”

  Spencer nodded. “I know. I do too.”
>
  “But I love you too,” he said. He shifted Spencer in his arms, so they were looking into each other’s eyes, so they could read the emotions that lay on the surface. There was nothing to hide. There was nowhere to hide the truth as their souls lay as bare between them as their exposed flesh. All they could do was accept the truth for what it was. “I really do love you,” he repeated.

  Spencer smiled and ran his lithe fingers through Dutch’s short-cropped hair. “I know you do,” he said. “And I love you too. I think I have for quite awhile now.”

  “Yeah,” he said with a laugh. “Me too.”

  “So what do we do now?” Spencer asked. “Where do we go from here? This situation is beyond fucked up.”

  “It doesn’t have to be,” he replied. Although he’d feared Spencer’s response to the idea of living as a trio before, he found no such hesitation with Spencer in his arms. He knew it was time, so he finally gave voice to his thoughts.

  “What do you think?” he asked Spencer when he was done.

  “I think you’re crazy.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really!” Spencer replied emphatically. “So,” he began, drawing out the word as he did whenever he was on the edge of pissiness. “What’s going to happen when you or Justin gets another wild hair up his ass and cheats? Are we then going to be, what? A quartet?” He sat up in bed and pushed away. The previous intimacy and connection vanished almost completely. “A relationship isn’t a team sport, Dutch. You don’t just keep recruiting new members.”

  Dutch was floored by Spencer’s irritation. The three of them loved each other a great deal. Why did he refuse to see the solution to their problem? “I’m not implying that,” he replied defensively. “I’m only pointing out that the three of us love each other. If we love each other that much, why not simply embrace that love? Together.”