Make the Ghost of It (Witch Woods Funeral Home Book 3): (Ghost Cozy Mystery series)

by Morgana Best

  “Not soon enough,” I said. Janet was a genuinely nice person, but had a real problem being tactful.

  After Janet made us each a cup of tea, she proceeded to tell us at great length what state the body on the roof would be in. Mom was still on the phone with her insurance company, so luckily for her, she didn’t hear any of it. Ian and John looked as though they would faint. I wasn’t doing much better.

  “I’ll just go and wait outside in the fresh air,” I said. “I’ll wait out there until the detectives come to question us.”

  “I’ll go with you,” John Jones said eagerly.

  Before he could tell me that he had to protect me because he was my date, or some equally unbearable pronouncement, I held up my hand to forestall him. “No!” I exclaimed. “You and Ian should stay here and look after Janet. I don’t think the shock has hit her yet.” And it never will, I added silently.

  John agreed with obvious reluctance. I hightailed it out of there into the fresh air. I soon felt much better on my own, away from Janet, Mom, Ian, and John, but I was nervous and fidgety. I paced up and down outside the funeral home, hoping forensics or the detectives would arrive soon. I expected I wouldn’t feel okay until I saw for myself that Basil was in fact all right.

  Finally some vehicles approached. They went past me and headed to Mom’s house. I hurried after them.

  Mom’s house was in a flurry of activity. Shiny steel extension ladders were produced from a white van, and in no time, people in white suits were shimmying up to Mom’s roof.

  I looked for Basil, but couldn’t see him. Two men in suits were speaking to Duncan and his recently arrived partner, Bryan, so I assumed that they were the detectives. Duncan saw me looking and waved me over.

  “Laurel, this is Detective Swan and this is Detective Brand. Detectives, this is Laurel Bay. She’s the daughter of Thelma Bay who owns the house.”

  Detective Brand focused on me. “So you were one of the witnesses?”

  “Yes, I was standing here with my mother, and so were Janet who works at the funeral home and Mom’s friends, Ian and John.”

  The detective nodded. “We’ll take your statements later. Where are the other witnesses?”

  “They’re at the funeral home, having a cup of tea,” I said. “This was a terrible shock for all of us.”

  “I’m sure it was,” the detective said, but his tone was devoid of sympathy. I expected he had seen too much of this sort of thing, though I imagined not specifically people falling to their deaths from an airplane. I assumed he was hardened by his job.

  The detective did not appear to want to question me further at this point, so I wandered over to Mom’s rose garden where I could see the proceedings, but not get in the way.

  Still, it was hard to see anything from the ground. The people in white suits scurried over the roof and occasionally one of them came back down and placed what I assumed was evidence in the big white van.

  Soon, the others joined me. Mom marched straight up to Duncan. “When will I be allowed back in my house?” she asked loudly.

  I hurried over to them.

  Detective Brand asked a question of his own. “Have you contacted your insurance company yet?” he asked her.

  “Yes, I have,” Mom said.

  “I suggest you get in touch with them again and inform them that there is damage to your roof, and it won’t be weatherproof at this time.”

  I shuddered. That meant that Lewis Lowes had fallen through Mom’s roof. I hadn’t liked the man, but I hadn’t wished him dead. It was just too gruesome to think about. Mom appeared to be of the same opinion because she waved her hands wildly in the air and wasn’t able to say anything further.

  Just then, the air shimmered in front of me. I thought I was getting a migraine headache, but then it took form, the form of Lewis Lowes.

  I screamed.

  At once, everyone’s attention focused on me. “It’s the stress,” I said lamely. “I didn’t mean to scream.” At least that was the truth.

  In all the trauma of the day’s events, it hadn’t occurred to me that Lewis would appear in ghost form. And while his body was probably in a million pieces—I shuddered at the thought—his ghostly form looked just like he had when I had last seen him, when he was alive.

  Lewis winked at me. “You seem surprised to see me, Laurel.”

  I looked around me, but everyone was now looking at the roof. I walked back to stand near Duncan’s police vehicle. “Do you know that you’re a ghost?” I said.

  Lewis laughed. “Yes, and I haven’t gone to hell. When I was on my way down, and my chute didn’t open, I was scared that I’d go to hell. But now I’m here, and isn’t it wonderful! Now I don’t have to pay any taxes or pay back any of my debts.”

  He looked genuinely pleased. I wondered if he had lost his marbles along with his life.

  Chapter 5

  Janet ran over to me. I hadn’t seen her that animated since… No, I had never seen her that animated.

  She threw her hands in the air. “Have you heard the great news?”

  “There is good news?” I asked her. “But how could there be good news when a man has just been killed, splattered all over Mom’s roof?” When I saw Lewis grimace, I realized that it wasn’t such a tactful thing to say.

  “That’s just it!” she exclaimed gleefully. “One of the nice men from forensics just told me that the body isn’t splattered at all. Isn’t that the best thing ever!”

  I was at a loss for words. “Um, yes,” was all I could manage.

  “There could even be an open viewing!” She rubbed her hands together with delight.

  I noticed that Lewis had gone somewhat white, and it was a revelation to me that ghosts could turn white.

  “That’s a surprise,” I said. “I would’ve thought that he would’ve been in a not very good state.” My words weren’t entirely grammatical, but I was still reeling from the shock.

  “The forensics man said that the fastest Lewis could have been traveling would have been about one hundred and eighty five miles an hour, but given that Lewis was an experienced skydiver, he would have been going a lot slower than that. I mean, he would’ve been trying to slow himself down, so he would’ve been in a position to make himself fall much slower.”

  Lewis stepped forward. “Yes, that’s exactly what I did,” he said. “And I was looking for some bushes or some muddy ground. I was actually aiming for those bushes over there, but I didn’t make it that far.”

  I looked past him to see that he was pointing at a row of Alder trees at the edge of the sheep’s paddock. “But wouldn’t landing in trees be just as dangerous as landing on the roof?” I asked him.

  Janet shook her head. “The forensics man said that there have been several of cases of people who have survived their parachutes not opening. If someone’s chute doesn’t open and they land in trees, they will likely break all their bones and be in a bad state, but they won’t necessarily die. It’s much better than landing on the ground, and landing in water is a terrible mistake because water’s like concrete to land on.”

  “Yes, I’ve heard that about water,” I said.

  Lewis was muttering to himself. “If only I’d jumped out a little bit later, and then I might have made those trees.”

  “I wonder why he jumped out when he did?” I asked Janet, although I was actually addressing the question to Lewis.

  “I just wanted to jump first,” Lewis said. “I didn’t know that someone had tried to murder me. Oh well, he or she actually did murder me.” He sighed loudly.

  “What, murder?”

  Janet looked at me strangely. “What makes you think it was murder?”

  I thought fast. “Well, he was an experienced skydiver. And it didn’t look to me as if either chute had opened.”

  Before I could stop her, Janet turned. “I’ll go and ask the detectives,” she called over her shoulder.

  I looked around, but no one was looking at me. “So they did something
to your chute? Packed it wrongly?”

  Lewis nodded. “Yes, it was a total malfunction. The risers were cut. I’m sure forensics will soon find that out. My parachute was sabotaged; that’s for sure.”

  “What are risers?”

  “They’re the fabric connectors between the harness and the lines. I would guess that the risers for both my main chute and my reserve chute were cut.”

  Janet was speaking to one of the detectives, and he was looking my way. If only she didn’t have such a big mouth. I put my hands over my face and pretended to scratch my forehead so I could ask Lewis one more question. “Is that the only reason you can think of that both your parachutes wouldn’t have opened?”

  “Yes,” Lewis said. “And I hold an FAA Master Parachute Rigger certificate. I’m an expert on the subject, if I do say so myself.” He laughed.

  The detective walked over to me. Janet made to follow him, but he sent her back. “So,” he said sternly, “your cosmetician tells me that you said it was murder.” His tone was somewhat accusing.

  “It was a guess,” I lied. I could hardly tell him that the victim himself had told me that it was murder. “We saw him falling, and it didn’t look like his parachute had opened. I know they have a reserve chute, but it didn’t look like either of them had opened. He told me he was an experienced skydiver, so I figured it had to be murder.”

  I was worried that the detective knew I was lying. I supposed they had a sixth sense about such things. His eyes narrowed and he looked at me for a while, before speaking again. “And is that the only reason you said that?”

  I nodded.

  “And how long have you known Basil Sandalwood?”

  “Basil?” I echoed. “I only met him when I moved back here from Melbourne, when my father died and left me the funeral home. He was my father’s accountant, and Basil’s father, who has now passed away, was my father’s accountant for years. Basil is my accountant now.”

  The cop raised one eyebrow. “Just your accountant?”

  Luckily for me, the other detective called him away before I had to answer. I saw that the forensics people were bringing down the body from the roof. I watched while they lowered the body. It took four of them, but soon they had the body on a gurney and were wheeling it to a van.

  Janet hurried back over to me. “I overheard them say that they’re going to see if there are risers stuck to the body. I don’t know what that means. I’ve never been stupid enough to jump out of a perfectly good plane.”

  “You and me both,” I said. “I couldn’t ever be that brave.”

  The forensics people drove away, and Duncan walked over to me. “The detectives have asked that you and the others go to the house now for questioning.”

  I looked up to see Mom, Ian, John, and Janet already making their way over to Mom’s house. “Are we allowed in Mom’s house now?”

  “Yes.”

  I could see that Duncan looked uncomfortable. “What aren’t you telling me, Duncan?”

  Duncan shifted from one foot to another. “Well, I suppose I should tell you, Laurel, but try not to worry. Basil is the only suspect they have at the moment.”

  “Basil?” I said. “Why on earth would they suspect Basil? What motive would he have?”

  Duncan shrugged. “Like I said, try not to worry. Hopefully they’ll get some results from the DNA testing of the parachute. It’s just that Basil was the most likely one.” He held up his hand at that point. “I’m not saying I think he was the most likely one, but that’s how the detectives will see it. He was an experienced parachutist, too, and someone had tampered with the parachute.”

  “But surely anyone had the opportunity to tamper with Lewis’s parachute?” I asked him. “I mean, I suppose they can’t check it once it’s packed, right? If he packed it himself, then whoever did it would’ve had plenty of time to tamper with it.” My head was spinning, and I wasn’t sure if my words made sense. They probably hadn’t, because Duncan made no attempt to respond, but simply shrugged and walked toward Mom’s house. I followed him.

  When I got there, I found the others in Mom’s living room. Mom was on the phone to what sounded like her insurance company, and soon Ian appeared wearing a frilly pink apron and carrying a tray of coffee. He handed everyone a cup of coffee and a religious tract.

  “Ian, do you really think that’s appropriate?” I said as I took the coffee and refused the religious tract.

  “We can’t miss any opportunity to save the lost,” Ian said. “I’m sure that poor man Lewis is burning in hell right as we speak.”

  “I am not!” Lewis yelled loudly. He was right up in Ian’s face, but of course, I was the only one who could see or hear him.

  The detectives, who had refused the coffee as well as the religious tract, announced that they would question each one of us in turn.

  Detective Swan took me into the kitchen. “Do you live here?” he asked me after I had given him my name, address, and date of birth.

  “No, I just moved out of Mom’s house yesterday. I’m now living in the apartment over the funeral home. I own that building and the business, and Mom owns this house.” I waved my hand in the direction of the funeral home.

  “Why did you move out of your mother’s house?” he asked me.

  “My father died recently, and left this house and money to Mom, and the funeral home and the business to me. There’s an apartment over it that I’m renovating.”

  “And the renovations were finished yesterday?” The officer shot me a penetrating look.

  “No, not exactly. I just had a big argument with my mother.”

  The detective was still scribbling away furiously on his notepad. He looked up at me. “What was the argument about?”

  I shrugged. “Well, it wasn’t an argument, as such. It’s just that she and I don’t get along.” You’ll soon see for yourself what she’s like, I added silently.

  He nodded. “Tell me, in your own words, what you saw.”

  I wondered who else’s words I would use, but I described the scene anyway. “Ian pointed to the plane, and we saw a black speck falling from the sky after that. I realized it must be a skydiver, and the parachute didn’t open. It kept falling and falling, and then it hit Mom’s roof.”

  “And what happened then?”

  “Janet called the police, and the rest of us were just in shock.”

  “And Janet wasn’t in shock?”

  I tapped my chin. “Janet isn’t like other people, socially speaking. She says whatever she thinks. She really doesn’t have a social filter.”

  “I see.”

  I doubted that he did see, but I didn’t want Janet’s tactlessness to make her a murder suspect. It was bad enough that Basil was already a suspect.

  “All right, thank you, Ms. Bay. You can go now. Please send in John Jones.”

  I did as I was told. I wanted to know what was going on with Basil, but I could hardly ask the detectives. After all, if I showed any interest in him, the detectives might think I was his accomplice.

  My mother’s shrill voice snapped me out of my musings. “It’s a circus!” she yelled.

  I crossed to the window to see what she was looking at. There were media cars parked outside her house, and people with microphones and cameras were standing in front of them.

  “Oh, it’s a media circus!” Ian said. “What should we do, Thelma?”

  “Why don’t you go and tell them that they’re trespassing, and ask them to leave?” I said.

  “Don’t be so stupid, Laurel!” my mother snapped at me.

  I shrugged my shoulders. “Whatever!”

  “She’s not very nice, is she?” Lewis said.

  I nodded and walked out of the front door. The media ran over to me, and a woman shoved a microphone in front of my face. “Were you a witness to the shocking incident?” she asked dramatically.

  “No,” I said. “I just arrived to console my mother.” I pointed to the house, where Mom was peering through the curtain
s. “The detectives are questioning all the witnesses now, and they told me to go away because I don’t know anything.”

  To my relief, my words must have been convincing, because the media promptly lost interest in me. I hurried to the funeral home, and then to my apartment.

  In the safety of my apartment, I looked at the walls and the room I was using as my bedroom. Only hours earlier, I had thought my worst worry in the world was that I would need to do more coats of paint. A friend of mine once said that things can turn on a dime, and he was right.

  Chapter 6

  Despite the unfinished state of my apartment, I actually found myself enjoying it. I was away from my mother, which was the initial goal, but I was also enjoying the privacy in general.

  I wondered if it was, in fact, murder, or simply an accident. Lewis did strike me as the type to make bad decisions, but I doubted he would be careless with his own life.

  I sighed and decided to make a light lunch with what I had on hand. It wasn’t anything exciting, just a basic sandwich, but it was nice to have the freedom to make lunch without somebody telling me that it was the food of the devil, or something like that.

  I’d just finished lunch when the bell at the front door rang. My heart skipped a beat and I ran down the stairs as quickly as I could. As I’d hoped, it was Basil. He smiled at me, but there was a definite hint of sadness to it. I realized that even if he hadn’t liked the new Lewis, it surely must have been an awful experience, especially when he was the primary suspect in his murder case.

  “Hi Laurel.” Basil looked like he was struggling to maintain his smile as he spoke.

  “Basil!” I exclaimed excitedly in spite of myself. “Come in.” I ushered him through the door and closed it behind me. “Would you like some coffee?”

  “Oh, yes. Please.” His smile seemed more genuine. I thought that perhaps he was worried about seeing me again after our last encounter. He’d come across as if he didn’t consider us a couple. Still, that was the least of our problems now. We walked to the funeral home kitchen and I started the coffee machine.