Hate So Good: A High School Bully Romance (The Hate Series Book 2)

by Nina Lincoln

  What if he searched through my drawers? What if he touched my underthings?

  Raging through the room, I grab my clothes from my closet and toss them to the floor where shoes, jackets, and dresses, lie in a heap, the colors mocking me.

  My sheets, comforter, and pillows follow. The stupid stuff I’ve collected over the last few months, extra coins, a receipt, a bottle cap, and more, slide to the floor with a thump. The prom crown hits the wall and shatters, my triumph at beating Sarah feeling brutal in the wake of her possible torture.

  Clutching the picture of Colt and me from prom, I stare at our faces, my heart clenching. Is he still fucking with me?

  How stupid am I? I looked into his lying fucking eyes and believed him, after everything he’s done.

  Movement catches my eye, and grimly I glance up to find Colt standing at my door. Since Maggie barred him from the hospital, he knows something is up, so he stops at the threshold and looks around the room grimly.

  “Finn?” he asks, bringing his gaze to mine.

  “Is it true?” I ask harshly.

  Flinching at my tone, he asks carefully, “Is what true?”

  Bitterly I laugh, dropping the picture of us to the floor and stepping on it as I approach him. “Portia. Sarah. Me. Were we all just a game?”

  His face falls, and an icy cold feeling envelops my chest. This is the confirmation I deserve but never wanted to hear.

  “Why?” I ask softly.

  “We were young and stupid. Boys.”

  Snorting, I reach out a shaking hand and say, “Maybe with Portia, but Sarah?”

  His face hardens, “She was a fucking bitch. She tried to waltz in and ruin us!”

  “Did you know about your dad before she told you?”

  Glancing away with a pained expression, he says, “No.”

  “Did you do this to her before or after you knew?” I demand.

  “Before.”

  Turning away, I walk to the window, the same fucking window through which my fan has watched me undress and taken pictures of me. Nothing feels safe, not my room, not this house. Not even the fucking boy I carelessly gave my heart to...again.

  “Finn,” he says painfully behind me.

  Ignoring his distress, since he clearly never cared about mine, I turn back to him and say, “And me?”

  “Finn, I-“

  “Just answer the fucking question!”

  “We planned it before you ever came,” he says quietly. “But Finn, I was wrong. And I’m so fucking sorry! You are my li-“

  “Don’t fucking say it!” I cry, picking up a shoe from the floor and lobbing it at his chest.

  He does nothing to stop it, not even a flinch when it glances off him and bounces to the floor.

  His pale eyes gleam with pain, but I ignore his inner turmoil.

  Fuck him. Fuck all of this.

  “Why? Why?” I sob.

  Hesitantly he steps forward again, his trembling hand outstretched toward me, but Maggie speaks behind us, and he slumps, dropping his shoulders in defeat.

  “You need to go, Colt.”

  Turning away, he walks to the door and stops beside Maggie. “What I did was fucking reprehensible, but I didn’t lie, Finn. You are my light, and I love you.”

  I choke on a bitter laugh as he walks away with his head cast down, and as soon as he disappears, I crumple.

  *****

  We’re no closer to a solution about my safety, but I manage to convince Maggie to let me go to school. She’s less than thrilled, but I’ll go insane if I sit here alone. Do I want to face all the dicks? No. But if I’m going to move on, what choice do I have? I need to be normal.

  I pull into the lot early, sweaty with fear but grimly determined. I can hardly ask Hayden for a ride, nor fucking Nate and Melissa would be backtracking to bring me here and head to North.

  Since I have no desire to speak to a single one of the assholes who targeted me from the start, I hightail it to class and sit at my desk with a sigh.

  Pulling out my notes, I prepare for Colt because he’s nothing if not persistent, but when he enters as the bell rings, he doesn’t look my way, not so much as a twitch.

  I should be relieved, but I’m fucking devastated as my heart clenches painfully.

  The gig is up, and now he doesn’t care anymore. Breathing through the pain, I try to get air in my lungs, but it’s all I can do to take short breaths.

  Ignoring the students around me who turn and stare, I bury my face in my hands until the attack eventually subsides.

  I hear nothing of the lesson and grimly wonder why I bother coming to school at all. In the past six or so months, I think I’ve learned nothing but how to survive in this brutal environment.

  By lunch, I’m numb. I can’t leave the school, it’s what I agreed to with Maggie to come at all, so I hide out in the library and stare into nothing.

  After the final class of the day and enduring hours of Colt’s complete ignoring of me, I shuffle to the car grimly.

  I don’t see Hayden, which is good, but Nate steps into my path, and my stomach drops.

  Of them all, Nate was the last I would have assumed played the game, and it just goes to show how well I know people, which is not at all.

  “Hey Finn,” he says with a wide smile.

  Apparently, word hasn’t spread to him because he’s still pretending. Clenching my hand into a fist, I eye him grimly, my mouth a flat line, and his brows ride over his head as he looks me over, concerned.

  “The game’s over. You lost,” I sneer, stepping around Nate.

  “Wait! What are you talking about?”

  Spinning to him with cold eyes, I say, “You and your friends are truly evil, you know that?”

  His face falls, his eyes turning down with sadness. “It’s not like that.”

  “Oh? Then how is it? Do tell.”

  “Yes, we fucked up, but Finn, I really like you,” he insists.

  “Where have I heard that before?” I ask, rolling my eyes to the sky.

  “Yeah, well, Colt’s a dick. It was his idea, you know. Just like old times,” he jeers.

  Ignoring the pulse of pain in my chest, I say, “And you went along with it?”

  Casting his eyes to the ground, he says, shamefaced, “Yes.”

  “Then you’re no better than he is,” I hiss.

  “Finn, wait,” he says desperately, grabbing my arm.

  “Get your hands off me!”

  “Let her go,” Colt says icily behind Nate.

  Nate drops my arm and turns to Colt with a sneer, “Ah, here you are. What do you want, dick? Haven’t you done enough?”

  Colt’s brows lower over his eyes, and he steps into Nate with a dark look, and a shiver rolls down my spine at the hostility. They genuinely hate each other. So why the game then?

  “Fuck off, you little shit. You think you’re immune? You liked the game more than any of us. Poor Portia couldn’t get enough until she found you fucking her mother,” Colt snarls.

  My mouth drops open. I mean...what?

  “Oh yeah?” Nate sneers, “And what about Sarah? You fucked her up so badly that she’s never been the same, bitch is fucking crazy.”

  At the mention of Sarah, my heart sinks. I never liked her, but whatever happened to her is not something I would wish on my worst enemy.

  “Sarah fucking came here to start trouble. I’m not proud of what I did, but she knew what she was doing and caused her own shit.”

  “Yeah, keep telling yourself that!”

  Nate turns back to me with a heated expression, “This dick was gunning for you since he heard of your existence. He wanted to destroy you, and still, you chose him! He’s never cared about you. Did he tell you that you were special? His fucking light?”

  Flinching, I glance at Colt to find his gaze icy cold, a void where human emotions should be.

  “It doesn’t matter, Nate,” I say wearily, “because you chose to play the game too.”

  Walking away,
I avoid the masses and get in my car, wiping the tears away as I head home. It’s only when I’m pulling into the driveway that I realize Colt’s followed me, and with a weird spasm in my chest, I let myself inside simultaneously confused and disappointed when he doesn’t come to the door but keeps going.

  *****

  The week passes uneventfully. Colt continues to ignore me but follows me home every day, and I suspect it’s to make sure I make it inside safely, which creates a small seed of hope I cling to even as I rage against it. When will the kaleidoscope of emotions end?

  Over the weekend, I invite Melissa over, and we sit in front of the television chatting. I’m still emotionally hungover, but sitting alone is feeding my pain, and I need someone to be here. Melissa is one of the few I trust.

  “It sucks that you can’t go to the party tonight,” she mutters, glancing around the room.

  “Yeah, well, I’m not up for a party anyway,” I say dryly.

  She nods and turns back to me. “What are you going to do, Finn?”

  “My aunt wants me to leave.”

  “Where to?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Do you want to go?”

  “Yes, at least the sane part of me does,” I say glumly.

  “And the insane part of you?”

  “Hurts at the thought of leaving Colt,” I whisper, sadness pulsing in my chest.

  I refuse to believe everything was a lie. Maybe this started as a game, but I do think Colt came to care about me. The problem is, I’m not sure it matters in the face of his betrayal.

  Melissa gives me a piteous look and nods, a flash of hesitation crossing her face before she looks away.

  “What?” I ask.

  “It’s just...well...I know what they did is wrong. It’s fucking horrible, but it’s clear to see Colt really likes you, and I don’t know, do you want to lose that?”

  “I don’t know,” I muse, gratified her words confirm mine.

  I can’t explain away his current behavior, and I’m a little hurt he hasn’t tried to get back in my good graces, but I know he’s as fucked up as me when it comes to unhealthy expectations. Maybe he needs time? Or perhaps he’s truly done. Fuck.

  “He is or was my everything, but every time I turn around, something more horrific happens.”

  “So, maybe you give him one last chance to spill whatever and try to move forward?” she says.

  “Maybe. But he’s been cold and distant. I...maybe he’s well over it. Me.”

  She chuffs out a laugh. “Colt’s not over it. I’ve never seen him so caught up, but he’s a dude. He probably doesn’t know what to do.”

  “Yeah. But also, my fan,” I say bitterly, “doesn’t want me near him, and now that I know just how crazy he is, Colt’s safer this way.”

  “Fuck! I wish I knew who the fucker is so I could beat the shit out of him!”

  My chuckle turns to a full-on laugh, and pretty soon, I’m giggling so hard tears roll down my face. Melissa rolls her eyes but smiles.

  Wiping the tears away, I say, “I still think it’s someone we know.”

  She nods grimly, “Which is even more fucked up.”

  “Yep. I’ve got nearly everyone I know on the list, but I can’t narrow it down.”

  “Like who?” she asks.

  “Nate, Hayden, Dirk, Tiffany, Sarah, Ben…I guess I can rule out Sarah. And Ben and Tiffany are in on it somehow.”

  “But why? Why would they help him or her?”

  “It’s definitely ‘a him’,” I say with a shudder. “I’ll never forget his voice. It’s was pure fucking evil. I’m thinking he must have dirt on them.”

  “Which means it’s someone who knows everything about everybody…” she says.

  “Yeah, and that could be any of those dicks. They all know shit about each other.”

  With a pause, we both contemplate my fan. Whoever the fuck he is, he has enough power to command others to do his bidding.

  “So, what do I do? I can’t wait around for something to happen, and it’s not like whoever this is, is going to turn themselves in,” I say with despair.

  “Well, maybe we go to the source,” Melissa says grimly.

  “Huh?”

  “Ben knows who it is. Tiffany knows. We need to find them and pry it out of them.”

  Shivering at the sparkle in her eyes, I whisper, “What about the cops?”

  Her head swivels my direction, her eyes fierce, “What have they done so far?”

  “Nothing,” I gulp, supremely grateful this chick staring at me with the cold eyes didn’t do more harm than she did when she vowed to fuck up my world. She looks positively fierce right now.

  “Exactly. But we’re going to need to include a few peeps. I can’t suss these dicks on my own…”

  “Who?” I ask with defeat.

  “Colt for one, Hayden. Maybe Ramie?”

  “You trust them?”

  “As much as I trust you.”

  Giving her a disgruntled look, I mutter, “That didn’t answer the question.”

  She just shrugs, and I’m left bewildered and a little unsettled.

  *****

  The following day, they all trudge into my living room with varying degrees of grimness. I’m less than thrilled to have both Hayden and Colt here, but I’m willing to put aside the bullshit for now if it means getting rid of my fan.

  Ramie looks around curiously, wandering through the living room with a contemplative expression. Colt sits down on the sofa, refusing to make eye contact, which hurts, but I’m trying to be objective, not an easy feat.

  Hayden barrels through the door with the same devilish smirk as always, laughing at my feisty glare, and finally, Melissa trails in behind, giving me an encouraging nod.

  “Okay, why are we here?” Hayden asks as soon as we’re all gathered in the living room.

  I glance at Melissa, and she smiles, but it’s all teeth and frankly looks a little serial killer-ish. “To find the dick harassing Finn.”

  “How?” Colt says, leaning forward with glittering eyes, the first show of emotion since he walked through the door.

  “We find Tiffany or Ben or both and ensure they give us the information.”

  Colt glances at Hayden, who smiles grimly. Ramie looks around disturbed, and I don’t blame her because Ben’s an unknown and probably dangerous.

  Before I can say anything, though, Melissa speaks. “Ramie, have you heard from Ben?”

  With a bitter laugh, she says, “The jerk texts me every day, but it’s not from his phone. Maybe he buys prepaid? I don’t know.”

  “What does he want?”

  “Mostly its threats,” she says with a shrug.

  It’s silent while the guys who clearly had no idea the extent of their broken relationship stare at her incredulous.

  “What kind of threats?” Colt demands.

  “I’m watching you. Don’t forget. I’m here. You better not step out of line.”

  “Maybe we could use that?” Melissa says tentatively, “You know, convince him to meet up?”

  “Absolutely not,” Hayden growls, with hard eyes, his mouth pulled back in a brutal snarl.

  Surprised, I glance at Ramie. Her face is pale, her eyes wide as she considers Melissa’s words.

  “If it would help Finn, I...I’ll do it,” Ramie says with a trembling smile.

  “No! It’s too dangerous!” Hayden barks.

  “She doesn’t have to be there,” Colt reasons, “and we can deliver him to the police when we’re done.”

  “Fuck that!” Hayden says, standing abruptly and leaving the room, slamming the door so hard, I cringe.

  We all look around a little bewildered, and I spy a suspicious flush to Ramie’s cheeks. Is there something more than just a crush there?

  “Anyway,” Ramie says, clearing her throat. “I’d be willing to try if you are?”

  “Maybe we should go for Tiffany first?” I say uneasily.

  I’d hate for this to come
back badly on Ramie - Ben’s a mean motherfucker.

  Colt slowly nods, a grim resignation to his features, and my stomach swoops as he turns to stare at me with cold eyes.

  “I can get to Tiffany,” he says heavily.

  My mouth curls up in a sad smile, and he responds in kind before looking away. I want to beg him not to take it too far with Tiffany, but I’m afraid I no longer have the right. This is all so fucked up.

  No one has seen Tiffany since she cornered me in the pizzeria. I assume she’s lying low, similar to Ben, because I told the police everything.

  “By the way,” I say hesitantly. “I told the police about Sarah. I have a feeling they think I’m a whack job, but whatever.”

  Colt’s face spasms with pain, and before anyone can react, he stands and walks to the door. “I’ll let you know what I find out.”

  With that, he leaves, and I stare at the door sadly. I want him to come to me and beg, but I’m afraid too much has happened anyway. Besides, when has Colt Theroux ever begged for anything?

  “That was...weird,” Ramie mutters.

  “Yeah,” Melissa says, pulling out a bottle of whiskey. “Now we get shit faced.”

  *****

  We hear nothing from Colt the remainder of the evening, and after Melissa pulled out the booze, we downed the entire bottle. Now we’re laying around on the floor, basically, shit faced.

  Blearily I stare at the ceiling while Melissa and Ramie argue the merits of all that is Hayden.

  “He’s got beautiful eyes,” Ramie says dreamily.

  Melissa snorts, “His eyes are fucking creepy. Like I’m gonna kill you in your sleep.”

  “Whatever. What about his ass? Yum.”

  Melissa pauses and then agrees, “Okay, you got me there. He does have a nice tight ass.”

  Rolling my eyes and ignoring the way my head swishes when I do, I mutter in exasperation, “Can we stop talking about Hayden? Geez, you’d think he was the hottest guy on the planet.”

  They both turn to me with similar looks of disbelief, and I shrug, heat suffusing my cheeks.

  “What?”

  “He is the hottest guy,” Ramie says. “You’d see it if you weren’t hung up on lover boy.”

  Silently acknowledging her words, I smile sadly and say, “Yeah.”

  “What’s the deal with you two anyway? I thought you were all hot and heavy again.”